Notes: And with this chapter, we come to the conclusion of this fun little volume! Check out Canucklehead Cowgirl's profile for Volume 5, "Unwilling Weapon," which will go up very shortly. While robbie was OVER THE MOON excited for Volume 4? CC is just so. So. So excited for Volume 5. We are maybe biased about certain storylines and character focuses. *shrug*

Onwards we go! :D


Chapter 12: "How to Incapacitate a Cyclops in One Easy Step"


Jubilee dropped into the seat next to Kate the next morning with a wide grin. "Hello, bigger Katie. Have you seen all of the pictures yet, because I finally saw what Peter took? And — you not even being an issue in some of those? I am so having a few printed."

Kate chuckled over her morning coffee. She was getting used to being razzed about her time as Tiny Katie, and she figured she could suffer through a few more indignities. Hazards of being a superhero and an X-Man, apparently. "Which ones?" she asked. "Because the ones where you're chasing me trying to get me to take a bath are so not getting put anywhere."

"No, no. Nothing like that," Jubilee assured her, though she was wearing a huge, crooked grin. "Pete got a really really great one of you and Logan that ... it needs to be preserved, but … Kurt. Kate. Kurt."

Kate shifted slightly. "What about Kurt?" she asked, even though she had a feeling she knew where this was headed.

The crooked grin only got worse. "He has... the most … expressive eyes, don't you think?"

"I think they're pretty cute," Kate agreed cautiously. "Why? You trying to muscle in?" she teased.

"No, I like the one I've got just fine thanks. And besides, he's like a big brother. No. Eew," Jubilee said, pulling a face before she straightened her shoulders importantly and turned her focus fully back to Kate. "He just ... he says so much with his eyes. He's got this … look." She thought about it for a moment, and her expression looked like she was relishing something hard to wrap her mind around. "It was almost bittersweet."

Kate tugged at the end of her hair as she thought over some of the pictures Peter had shown her. "He just… he took care of me," she tried to deflect. She had a feeling she knew what Jubilee was trying to argue, and she was so not ready for that conversation. "Because it's me, and because he's just like that. Don't read so much into things, Jubilee."

"No, that's not it," Jubilee replied, totally serious. "You need to see it, Kate. I won't even try and tell you what I think — just that it is SUCH a beautiful picture." She paused and chuckled to herself. "Both of them are."

Kate sighed. She could try to fight Jubilee, argue the point, but that could lead to all sorts of discussions. Discussions about futures that she wasn't entirely prepared to have. "Fine — but only because I think you're wrong on this," she insisted.

Jubilee took her hand and led her to Pete's office, where the computer was still up with the images that Jubilee wanted. "Oh, hello," Peter said. "You — you don't want to look at what I like, do you? Because that's gotta be a surprise for when I print it."

"Pete, you can have whatever favorites you want," Kate said with a little shrug, trying not to think about just what he wanted to print out. "I'm just here because Jubilee thinks Kurt's eyes are dreamy."

"Okay. Whatever you say," Peter said with a shrug as he keyed a few last commands into the image editor. "Believe it or not, most of Jubilee' list doesn't have Kurt."

Kate turned to face Jubilee with raised eyebrows. "But you were all — the look on his face?"

"Yes. But he's not the only one I like in this photoset." Jubilee turned the laptop so Kate could see. "Look. Look at Noh trying to play with little you. It was epic."

There was no way Kate couldn't giggle when she saw the perfect action shot Peter had captured of a very tiny Katie — wearing the biggest grin — sailing through the air as Noh threw her out of the pool with a look of concentration that she recognized as 'aiming.' "Who was he trying to throw me into?" Kate teased.

"Me," Jubilee said with a laugh. "He was trying to not get me too wet since I had staples in my head."

"So thoughtful, that boy," Kate said, smirking Jubilee' way.

"Yes, so very thoughtful," Jubilee agreed before she moved to the next picture — Remy teaching little Kate how to build a house of cards.

"How long did it last before he blew it up?" Kate asked, laughing.

"About two seconds after you got bored with it," Jubilee replied. "But Peter was laughing too hard at you laughing to take a very good picture of the explosion, so this will have to do."

Kate glanced at Pete, who just grinned, and she had to shake her head. "Glad to be the source of entertainment," she teased.

"Wait — here," Jubilee said, putting up a shot of Katie and Scott squaring off — both of them with their arms crossed, and Katie's bottom lip stuck out as she stood on the dining room table so she could better look him in the face.

Kate burst into a laugh that just didn't stop the longer she looked at the picture. "Oh, tell me I won," she managed between laughs.

"Of course you did," Jubilee said with a wave. "He breaks down for little girls."

The next shot was one of Katie with Storm. She was on the Goddess' lap as she read her a story and looked terribly sleepy. The one after that was Bobby after he'd made a little sledding hill for her. The one after that one of Logan that had to have been taken after she'd gotten scared of Strange by the way he was holding her with her head just under his chin.

Kate stopped the slideshow at that one and tipped her head at the picture. "What happened there?" she asked quietly.

"Magic that didn't totally work. You were inconsolable — until he went all … dad on you."

Kate just stared at the picture for a second, a strange expression on her face before the smirk started at the corner of her mouth. "Giant hug magnet," she whispered half under her breath.

"One of oh, so many with the hug magnet," Jubilee said with a laugh. "Kurt has the very first one of the two of you all snuggled up. You might want to check his phone. Apparently you took over on him as soon as you turned into a kid."

"I must have been able to sense his hug magnet powers," Kate argued.

"Yeah, that's it," Jubilee said before she stuck her tongue out at her and moved to the next slide — of Kurt carrying her up the stairs while she was completely knocked out asleep. "Peter got this one from the ceiling."

Kate had to admit that it was, if nothing else, a beautiful shot. It got little Katie's tired, tucked in, peacefully sleeping face in the frame as well as the full Kurt expression as he was gently shifting her in his arms. And — well. That… was a look Kate just wasn't prepared for.

"I thought you might need to see that," Jubilee said quietly. "Not because I was wrong or anything. But because it's a burden to be so right all the time."

Kate tore her gaze from the picture on the screen to Jubilee, blinked twice, and shook her head. "You," she said softly, "are a troublemaker."

"I do not bring this to you as any kind of attempt to make trouble," Jubilee said, her hands up in front of her. "Just to point out to you — that you should KNOW. And also ... even if it's a ways off … "

Kate just sat in the chair with a faint sort of smile and shook her head. Jubilee didn't know. She didn't know if just wasn't going to happen with her and Kurt. It just wasn't. But Kate didn't have the words to explain that, she she simply sat there, shaking her head.

"I think what Jubilee is trying to say," Peter said as he leaned back in his chair. "Is ... Behold: The Future." Kate snorted at that.

"Well I wasn't going to say it, but that is totally what I was saying," Jubilee said with a smirk Peter's way. "You know. Unless you think there's something wrong with him."

"With Kurt? Oh no," Kate said, smirking. "With you two? Very much so. So wrong in the head."

"I don't think so," Peter said. "I mean, everyone had fun with you, and everyone had their tender 'Katie' moments? But even with Logan being your go-to? No one really had the look like Kurt. Except maybe Scott."

"That's because Scott's marrying into a family of adorable little girls," Kate pointed out.

"Yes, but — explain Kurt then," Jubilee said.

"I don't know," Kate said, frowning as she stumbled over her words. "Maybe — maybe it's just — you know—"

"A longing?" Peter offered.

"Well — might just be because he can't ever… he told his dad when I met him… I mean. In no uncertain terms," Kate tried to explain, though she knew she wasn't doing a good job. "No baby Kurts."

"But baby Kate might have him re-thinking that," Jubilee said.

Kate tipped her head back to stare at the ceiling. "Careful, Kate. This is what happens when you date older men," she informed the ceiling.

"Not all older men. Logan … well. Logan looks like Logan," Jubilee said. "He's always got that 'everybody's dad' look to him." She grinned, trying to ease Kate's suffering so she didn't focus too much on it. "He even Dadd-ed Scott when you stole his glasses."

"I stole… Oh, I'm sorry," Kate said, looking back from the ceiling to Jubilee. "I told you I was a brat!"

"Well, Logan got you to apologize on the spot. Was that normal for you?"

Kate looked downright shocked. "Definitely not," she admitted. "I… didn't get told 'no' at that age."

"Well you listened to him," Peter said nodding. "He didn't even really need to get on you most of the time. Pretty impressive for just a hug magnet."

Kate snorted. "Yeah, well, if he was talking to me insted of around me, that's…" She shrugged. "Probably why I listened. But hey, if that's the case? Why are we not getting on his case to find a nice girl… settle down… raise twenty of them…?"

"Yeah, right. Good luck with that," Jubilee said. "You can try. But his excuse is always the same."

"Which one? The 'I am not a hug magnet' or the 'Shh don't tell anyone I secretly love you guys'?" Kate laughed.

"The 'they always end up dying on him' one," Jubilee said, one eyebrow crooked as she was entirely serious all of a sudden. "Which leads to 'I'm cursed'."

"Considering the amount of magic people we know? I think we'd know if he was cursed by now," Kate pointed out, though she'd dropped the teasing tone.

"True. I didn't say that I agreed with that one," Jubilee replied. "And the other one, unfortunately, is true."

Kate nodded quietly. "Well. He'll just have to hug your kids then, won't he?" She smirked a bit. "Cute little half-Kree babies trying to take over Earth at age three."

"That sounds darling. They can play with your quarter demons."

"Better wait until we have stronger defenses, then," Kate countered. "Because the Earth is so not ready for that hostile takeover."

"Good news! Noh is working on it already. Mostly upgraded — it'll be ready to go before school starts. Yay!"

"I said the Earth, not the mansion," Kate shot back. "If the mansion can survive you guys babysitting me, I'm not too worried about this place."

"Yeah, but we have the best babysitter in the universe? So — you know. No reason to worry too much," Jubilee said with a confident nod. "But you guys are in line first. Sorry. We can wait about five minutes after you go first."

"Scott. I think you mean Scott is in line first," Kate insisted. She wasn't sure how much of this teasing was serious, after all, and she was absolutely not above throwing Scott under the bus in case Jubilee was actually asking for kids.

"Oh, well. Scott. Yes, Scott..." Jubilee held her breath. "Scott will have that covered I think by … Valentine's Day. That's where I put my money. I have faith in him to act as our fearless leader here too."

"Does he know there's a deadline?" Kate teased. "You know he works best with calendars."

"I'm sure he knows we're betting on him," Jubilee said. "It's like — tradition."

Kate just shook her head at Jubilee. "Yeah, well, have fun with the betting pool on Scott. I'll put my money on — the Christmas after next or something. You're way too excited about this," she said with a little laugh.

Jubilee just broke into a laugh. "I am. It's going to be glorious."


When Kate got back to Kurt's room, she was surprised to find that he wasn't there. Neither of them had gotten much sleep last night, and she couldn't imagine that he was any less tired than she was, especially when he'd been dealing with her bratty self all that time leading up to her waking up in a tutu. She was surprised she hadn't walked in to find him totally crashed, when she was considering doing that very thing herself. She liked finding him zonked out, actually, because when he came home exhausted from a mission, he always looked so darling with his limbs spread out every which way, his mouth partly open, and the very tip of his tail swaying the slightest bit to the rhythm of his breathing.

A few of the bamfs popped in with curious expressions on their faces, and one of them settled onto her shoulder with a little 'bamf?' as she just grinned back and reached up to tickle the little guy.

"I don't suppose you know where the big, handsome Dlf is, do you?" she asked him, and the little guy giggled and nodded. She didn't even have to ask to be teleported away — the next thing she knew, she was standing in the room where she'd woken up from being a kid for so long, and Kurt was at the dresser, very carefully folding a small basket full of clothes — all of them kid-sized.

"We're keeping all that stuff?" Kate asked, and Kurt jumped the slightest bit — she must have startled him out of his thoughts.

He smiled quietly as he turned toward her. "You never know. Occasionally, we do run into smaller children. And Scott's nieces are just down the way."

Kate watched him for a moment, trying to get a read on just what that particular expression meant, before she gave up, reached across him, and plucked a sparkly purple shirt out of the basket and had to laugh. "Oh. I was totally spoiled rotten."

"You say that like it's some kind of shock," Kurt laughed.

"What — a bunch of superheroes unable to say no to my bratty self? Yes. Yes it is," she teased.

"Most of them anyhow, yes," Kurt said with a nod. "You were quite easy to talk into things, though. Even if Logan usually bribed you."

"Well thank goodness my older self isn't so easy," she said with a smirk. "Though I still take candy bribes, let's be honest."

"Well, lucky for you, I happen to have a bit of sugar," he replied as he pulled her over for a kiss.

She laughed and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Oh, how the tables have turned," she whispered. "Now you're the one I can't say no to."

He just grinned and kissed her again as his tail twisted around her ankle.


Kate and Kurt were much better rested the next morning, though no less wrapped around each other, when Scott came down to the kitchen to find the two of them.

"Do you have any major plans today?" he asked Kate with a serious sort of look that surprised her into sitting up a little straighter.

She bit back the comment on the tip of her tongue about plans to keep Kurt occupied all day and just shook her head. "No, I think blowing the trip to Madripoor pretty much kayo'ed my schedule."

"Sorry to hear that," he said with a smirk. "But — that just means we can start fast-tracking your training. You're with me today."

"I am?" She blinked at him in surprise. "For what?"

"Teaching you how to be an X-Man," he replied as if it was the most obvious answer in the world. "What else would I be teaching you?"

"Of course. Why did I even ask such a silly question?" Kate said with a little smirk at Kurt before she nodded Scott's way. "Okay. If I can survive aging 20 years in a day, I can survive whatever you throw at me. Hit me with your best shot."

He smirked and nodded. "Great. Meet me in the Danger Room in half an hour, I have a few basics that I'm sure Logan and Kurt skipped over."

She matched his smirk over the top of her coffee mug. "Yeah. Probably should know things like what the heck a 'basic maneuver three' is before I'm in the field, huh, Kurt?" she teased before she leaned over to explain to Scott. "First time I met those two, they just assumed I could, like, read their minds or absorb the playbook by osmosis or something."

"That's because the two of them are idiots in the field," Scott said dryly. "They've been working together long enough they just — bounce off each other."

"Well, I keep up with them okay," Kate said, smirking.

"We don't even use the maneuver numbers anymore. They were being idiots. I promise you don't need to know that stuff."

Kate just grinned a bit wider. "Well, they're my idiots," she told him.

"Timeshare idiots at best," Kurt cut in, giving her a quick kiss before he grinned Scott's way. "And you're behind on your payments, fearless leader."

Scott shook his head with a little laugh. "Alright. Fine. Just — Kate? Half an hour."

She saluted him with her coffee. "I'll be there. Don't be late."


As it turned out, Scott ran her through a program that she actually wasn't entirely prepared for. It started out like an obstacle course, but after she played her way through it, and the shooting simulation he had running for her — she suddenly found herself facing off against one X-Man after another, and after the first couple, they just seemed to pour in until she was fighting half the team.

She was just getting to the point of total frustration when the simulation just — stopped. "Good work, Hawkeye," Scott said over the comms. "Come on up for your scores."

She was surprised at the sudden stop and glanced up at the booth. "C'mon, I can — I got this. Just give me a sec to catch my breath," she half-panted.

Scott just smiled down at her from the booth. "I don't run things like Logan. I don't like to let you go until you break. Come on up. See how you did, and if you want to go back, you can go back. But in the meantime — watch what you did. Learn. That's how you get better."

She shouldered her bow with a frustrated sigh but climbed up nonetheless, grabbing up a water bottle to down half of it before she even got to the booth. "Is it normal to teach your team how to take each other down?" she teased, getting back some of her good humor now that she'd had a break and some water.

"Yes, for us it is." Scott told her.

"If you say so," she said as she sat down next to him to review the tapes.

"You did well, really. You just — you need to maybe pick up your pace a little bit and focus more on hand to hand. You're an amazing shot with a bow, but I worry about when you run out of arrows."

She nodded thoughtfully. "I've been training with Logan on hand-to-hand, but I could step it up more, I'm sure."

"Just keep pushing him for more. We could all use a tune up on hand-to-hand though. All of us rely on our abilities too much. It's something I'm going to try to get everyone to do more of."

"Not a bad idea," she said with a smile. "Though hey, that's what you've got me for if the powers run out. My arrows aren't affected by it."

"Powers run out more often than you think," Scott admitted. "It's just something we all slip out of practice from. I'll bet it's been years since Kurt did anything without his abilities. Same for Bobby. I'll bet Peter hasn't thought about it since he got his abilities." He paused. "I know Storm has, though. She — she kind of reminded me of everything Logan taught her when she spent the other day in here with me."

Kate broke into a wide grin. "I'm going to have to ask her to spar with me sometime, then," she said. "I could always use sparring partners."

"Wait until Logan says you're ready first," Scott advised. "She's been a really good student for him for years."

Kate nodded again and adjusted her gloves. "I'll just have to work harder, then," she said with a shrug.

Scott gave her a full smile. "That's the right attitude." He leaned back in his seat and gave her an approving nod. "So. Let's just keep working on this together. When you're tired, we'll do some simulator stuff that you really should try out."

Kate grinned and shrugged off her quiver and bow, leaving them in the seat beside Scott as she readjusted her hair under her headband. "Sounds good."

"I do want to ask you about your simulation though," he said, and this time, there was just the slightest hesitation. "Is … is that a joke sim?"

She broke into a little laugh. "Okay. You," she said, poking him in the chest, "are going to have to come with me to Bed Stuy sometime and meet the tracksuits. Because I swear to you, it's not even that much of a joke."

"Alright," Scott said with a smirk. "You feel like taking a drive then? I … kinda wanted to get out of the house for a little bit anyway."

"Oh, you're so on," she said, grinning. "I've been meaning to pay those guys a visit anyway since Logan told me about their kidnapping attempt. Who does that?"

"Clint felt awful," Scott told her seriously. "Especially after Stark traced it down to a tap on his data."

She sighed and leaned back against the wall, arms crossed. "Like he has any say in what the tracksuits do," she said, rolling her eyes. "It's not his fault. I'll buy him a new quiver or something and then hit him with it for being an idiot."

"If you buy him a quiver to hit him with every time he's an idiot, he's gotta have a whole apartment dedicated to quivers."

She snorted. "Yeah, I just — like to get him something that says 'I don't blame you' when it's me he's being an idiot about."

"So it's a special account you have somewhere then," he teased. "Think you can hire someone to remind him to clean his room?"

"Oh, if only," she laughed. "I love him to pieces, but he's just… Clint."

"Yeah, I know the type," he said with a nod, though he let the subject fall. "Let's go see your tracksuit guys."

She grinned and pulled her quiver back over her shoulder. "I swear to you — if you fall apart laughing because you saw them in the sim first? It's not my fault."

"Point taken," he said with a laugh. "I'll be good."


"Okay, yep, they're definitely here," Kate said as she parked her little purple car around the corner from where she could see a line of black and white cars by the curb.

"How can you be sure?" Scott asked curiously.

She pointed at the cars. "They all drive the same thing. Well — that or big white vans that they try and kidnap Clint in. For real." She chuckled and shook her head as she pulled out her bow. "Pretty sure they're playing cards in the back room. Want to break it up?"

Scott grinned. "Sounds good to me."

With a wide grin, Kate fitted an arrow to her string and led the way through the ramshackle little building until they reached the very back, where Kate just shot Scott a huge smirk before she simply kicked the door in.

Kate had been right — there were an entire group of tracksuited bad guys sitting around tables and playing cards. They jumped to their feet when Kate kicked in the door, and half of them were reaching for baseball bats as soon as they saw her, while the other half reached for guns that looked like far too much hardware for just one girl.

"Hello, boys!" Kate announced as she immediately started firing.

Scott hung back a bit to see Kate in action on her own turf — grabbing a few tracksuits' guns out of their hands but mostly letting Kate work through the group. He hadn't even started using his optic blasts, content to just take mental notes on his newest teammate.

One of the tracksuits got close enough to Kate to try and take a swing at her with a large bat, and when she kicked him in the chest, a couple of his buddies looked down at him as he skidded. "Seriously, bro," one of them said to their fallen comrade. "Deal with crazy broad."

Scott actually had to stop and just ... glance back at the group of tracksuits in surprise.

Kate ran toward the two buddies of the fallen tracksuit and, with a jump, hooked her bow around the shoulders of one of them and brought him down, spinning as she landed on her feet to kick out the feet of a second. She looked up with a grin Scott's way, clearly having a good time as she used her fists and feet just as often as her bow — half the time going for hand-to-hand just so she could get up in their faces to shout things like, "Who goes after a four-year-old?"

But Scott, on the other hand, was starting to have a hard time — not because the tracksuits were particularly difficult to fight, but because he had promised not to fall apart laughing, and it was getting increasingly difficult as he quickly realized that, no, Kate had not been exaggerating about the tracksuits.

"What, you couldn't take me on full-grown, so you had to take on a Kindergartener?" Kate shouted in the face of a tracksuit that she was half kneeling on after knocking him down.

"Bro," shouted one of the tracksuits, addressing Scott instead of Kate, which only had Scott trying hard not to laugh again. "Bro, control crazy broad, bro."

"Kate ... I'm gonna have to break my promise," Scott managed to get out with the minimal amount of chuckles.

Kate grinned back at him as she shot another tracksuit and spun to face him. "I told you — not my fault they're like this," she called back to him.

He was grinning widely, and it was pretty clear he was about to break down laughing. "Where do you find these people? It's like a comedy routine."

"The other Hawkeye," she said as if that was all the explanation he could possibly need.

"I am so glad I downloaded that onto my phone."

She couldn't help it — she turned to him with a broad grin. "You did? Seriously, bro — that's real good."

At that, he just bent over laughing and waved her way. "You got this; I'm gonna have to step out."

She just laughed and set back to work, and when she finally came back out to the curb to find Scott just barely starting to get control of his laughter, she leaned over his shoulder and said, "Bro. Bro — why you laughing?"

"You are a terrible influence," he said, still holding his sides.

She was laughing hard herself, wiping at her eyes as they made their way back to her car. "I definitely am," she agreed. "But I'm not a liar either — told you it wasn't a joke program."

"It's just... the look on Logan's face when the heavy hits got out a 'bro' and they just … Oh. Yeah, I'm saving that for a rainy day."

Kate could barely contain her own laughter as she got behind the wheel. "And the fact that you can see him swearing but you can't even hear it," she supplied, still giggling madly.

"Oh, he was laughing too," Scott promised. "And the part where he halfway stopped and was just … I'm sure he thought I was pulling his leg."

"Which you would never, ever do," she said with as much seriousness as she could muster before she couldn't keep a straight face anymore and just started to laugh again.

Scott was grinning. "He kinda asks for it."

"Kinda?" She beamed over at him. "Scott, he walks around with a sign over his head. It says 'please mess with me', and I intend to listen to those instructions."

He just chuckled and nodded his head before he tried for a little more serious conversation. "You're coming with me for the next few runs. Just for comedic effect, if nothing else."

She grinned even wider at that. "This sounds like a perfect plan," she told him. "We'll have to come up with some sort of signal, though — in case the other one breaks down laughing mid-battle and needs a save," she teased.

"I'm pretty sure the uncontrollable laughter is the signal," he replied. "Unless you think you can squeeze out a 'Ca-caw'."

"Oh, I like you," she laughed. "Yes, you can stay."

"Glad I have your approval," Scott said, smirking, as they headed back home.

By the time the two of them got to the mansion, they had the laughter more or less under control, though every once in a while, they would fall back into fits when Kate would, with a totally straight face, say, "Control crazy broad, Scott," or "seriously, bro," just to fall apart laughing at the way Scott would try desperately not to laugh and then fall apart anyway.

They were just in time to join the others for dinner, and since they felt like they'd both gotten a solid handle on it, it was almost a normal dinner.

But mid-way through, Kate's phone notified her of a new message, and when she looked at it, she fell apart all over again as Scott sat there with the biggest smirk on his face, though he managed to keep it under control.

Kurt looked a bit confused for a second as he watched Kate just dying of laughter that she was valiantly trying to get under control — until she handed him her phone and he looked at the media download Scott had sent her with the title "Seriously, bro."

He just started to chuckle under his breath as Kate finally got her giggles back under control, though it was a long time before she could even look Scott's way without falling apart again.

And Kurt just grinned the whole time. Clearly, Kate wasn't going to have the least bit of trouble with Scott back to leading the team — and he was glad to see it. After all, not every hero could handle working with someone who had been in charge of picking out her Disney movies just days ago.