A/N Not much to say today except thanks as always for the feedback, and I hope to continue my semi-regular updating as best as I can.
Tonight has been a blast.
The club is packed, the music is great and the company has been fantastic. Well, excluding a certain sister that I'm trying to ignore. I'm well aware that if things are going to develop with Naomi I'm going to have to find a way to tolerate Darcy, but I'm not sure how that's even possible. She comes across as such a raging bitch. Plus, she doesn't seem to treat Naomi in any kind of healthy matter and that doesn't still well with me.
Shit.
Where are these thoughts even coming from?
When did I suddenly see myself as the great defender of Naomi? Or for that matter when did thoughts of a possible future creep into my subconscious?
Do not say since I was twelve, because that is utterly ridiculous.
And I would never admit that to anyone regardless.
I don't understand why I'm having future thoughts about Naomi. That's not a reflection on the girl, it's more a reflection on me. Sure things have started off well with her, better than I could have hoped, but we're still very early on in the game. I'm trying to feel her out and I assume she's trying to feel me out as well.
Metaphorically of course.
However, if there was literal feeling of each other, I would not be opposed. There's still a lot of uncertainty to this whole situation and a ton of questions that would need to be discussed. Not the least of which is the whole "hey we've totally met before, do you remember me, because I remember you" issue. Outside of that though, we're practically strangers and while I absolutely want to get to know Naomi better, that will take time.
Which brings me back to my original point - where are thoughts of a future with Naomi coming from?
I've never been in a serious relationship before, never had my heart broken, never told anyone I was seeing that I loved them and so forth. I've never put myself out there like that, because nobody has been worth the effort or risk. There might also be the issue of my horrible mum that plays a factor in my dating style, but we'll leave that point for the time being.
With Naomi, though, my mind is constantly venturing into uncharted territory. I'm having all these thoughts about future scenarios or possible situations I've never really pictured before. My parents' marriage was the poster child for what not to do and that probably also has factored into my lack of any kind of long term relationship. It's not something I've ever really wanted or thought was missing in my life.
You can't really long for something you've never had before.
Instead of focusing on finding love, I put all in energy into my career. I think it's been a pretty good decision on my part and something I've been very successful at. Besides, this should be the point of my life where I'm going after new experiences, meeting new people and not worrying about the future. You're only young once and I've managed to enjoy myself quite nicely.
I was living a content life before Naomi strolled into it - again.
She's threatening to change all my long-held beliefs as well as my philosophy of not putting myself out there to the point of getting hurt. It's just easier that way. When I've seen some of my friends go through heartbreak I've never had to worry about that happening to me. It's quite a nice set up, but it's a set up that might come undone by a certain blonde who hasn't really left my side all evening.
Granted, this place is not ideal in terms of having deep and meaningful conversations, but that doesn't mean I'm not having the greatest time with her.
There's been quite a bit of dancing and a copious amount of eye sex between us. I don't think that's gone unnoticed by most of our little group. I certainly don't give a fuck what anyone thinks, but the scowls I've received from Darcy have been annoying and predictable. I'm not sure what's worse: getting dirty looks from her or watching her and Tony go at it the more the more drugs and/or alcohol they've consumed.
Gross.
I guess I should be thankful in a way because the more Darcy has Tony to distract her, the less time she has to become a pain in my ass. I really need to learn to live with Darcy's dislike of me and obsess about it less, but I can't seem to let it go. It's not that I need everyone to like me; I actually don't care if she does. But I am good at figuring people out and Darcy and her weird behaviour is a complete mystery to me.
I think it's time for me to stop thinking about Naomi's sister and instead turn my attention the girl herself.
We're taking a break on one of the very comfortable sofas in the VIP section. Unfortunately, I don't have Naomi's attention, but I can't be too upset, not when I see how well her and Cook are getting along. He leans over to say something to her that is undoubtedly rude and then they start laughing. I'm not concerned about the two of them clicking so well together. I'm actually in favour of it. Cook is many things, not all them nice, but he's very loyal to me. I would stake my life on that fact. I also have it on very good authority that Naomi is interested in only one person here.
Luckily, that person happens to be me.
I watch as Cook gets up, probably to find someone to hit on that would be interested in him and that means Naomi's attention turns back to where I want it. She moves so that we're sitting very close together, probably closer than she needs to be, but look at me not complaining. She flashes me that smile of hers that I can't get enough of. Add to that the occasional biting of her lip and I'm lost in all things her.
"You ready to head back to the dance floor?" I ask for purely unselfish reasons. I want to make sure she's having as good a time as I am and not because I want to be up against her body as dancing tends to lead to.
"Actually, I'm getting kind of tired," Naomi admits with some more lip biting that is the causing me to get seriously distracted. "Sorry."
"You don't have to apologize," I assure her sincerely. Her answer was not ideal but I'm not going to get upset over it. "It's not your fault you have the stamina of an old lady."
I said I wasn't going to get upset, I didn't say I wasn't going to bug her about it.
"Shut it, you!" Naomi replies with a roll of her eyes. I can tell she's not really mad at my teasing and that's good because I really enjoy teasing her. And you can take that any way you want. "You're not supposed to give me a hard time. I'm a guest of yours tonight."
I let out a small laugh at how indignant she's acting and how adorable she looks at this second. "A guest are you?" I lean over so my mouth is right by her ear. My move causes her to shudder slightly. "You're a guest that is trying to bail early."
"I'm really not!" Naomi says when I'm back to making eye contact with her. "That's not it at all...I just..."
Suddenly she looks more flustered than I meant her to get. "Relax, I was just joking around," I explain before reaching for her hand. "Why don't I take you back to your room and we can let the others stay here for however long they want." Obviously my first preference is not to leave, but on the bright side if I can get time with Naomi away from everyone else I will gladly take it.
"You're really not mad?" she asks with a lot of uncertainty in her voice. "I don't want to ruin..."
"You are absolutely not ruining anything," I tell her before she can finish her sentence. The idea of Naomi ruining anything is not a possibility. "I'll go find my sister, Effy and Cook to let them know what's going on and go tell Darcy that we're leaving"—we wouldn't want her to freak the fuck out like last time, god forbid—"and then we'll head out."
I'm surprised at Naomi's next move in the best of ways. She kisses me for not that long or that hard, but it's enough of a kiss to send me into a Naomi induced stupor. "Thanks," she whispers in my ear before going to locate her horror of a sister.
I watch her walk away in a daze that only she seems capable of causing. My body tingles around her even when we're not touching. And yet I find myself wanting to touch her all the time.
Not even in a naughty way. Yes, I'm fully in favour of naughty touching, but that's not what I'm talking about now. When I'm around her my heart feels like it's always racing, my throat often goes dry and I have this physical need to be as close to her as possible.
I'm not quite sure who this Emily is.
And I'm also not quite sure where she's going to lead me. I do know that whatever is happening, whatever will happen, I'm no longer in control of stopping this thing between Naomi and me.
It's either going to stop because of her or because of circumstances out of our control.
That's so bloody scary.
But I've never really been one to back away from fear. Instead, I'm going to go along for the ride and hope wherever I end up it's a place where Naomi is as well.
The funny thing is if anyone had told me a week ago I'd be having these kinds of thoughts I would have laughed in their face. I would have told them that I'm not the type of person to be so reckless in matters of the heart, or so clichéd, but here I am.
I appear to be one giant cliché and I don't care.
I don't fucking care one bit.
Katie would never let me live this down if she could get inside my head. Thankfully she can't read my mind or I'd be in big trouble. Surprisingly Katie's been very easy on me this evening. No funny jokes or trying to embarrass me like she did when she first met Naomi.
I am unsure if that's a good thing or something I need to be worried about.
My lovesick mind gets a break when I see Cook, Katie and Effy headed my way. Perfect, I can tell them all at the same time that I'm leaving with Naomi and then the two of us can get out of here.
"Where's your date, Emilio?" Cook asks with a shit eating grin. He must be loving this and loving that I don't have a smart ass reply to give him. "She ditch you already?"
I stand up so I can properly tell him off without the noise of the music getting in the way. "Actually, we're getting ready to leave." I smirk at him because even though my intentions with Naomi are pure, for now anyway, I'm still me and this is just how we operate.
Cook laughs and then he puts his arms around Katie and Effy. His eyebrows start wiggling and I can only imagine what's going to come out his mouth now. "Oh, is Blondie about to get Fitched?" I roll my eyes and Katie elbows him in the side. "Oi! What the fuck was that for?"
"That's my fucking sister you're talking about!" Katie exclaims, her disgust evident to everyone. "I don't want know about her sex life!"
"Besides that's not going to happen," I say even though I don't have to. I suppose the honourable thing to do however is protect Naomi's reputation. "She's tired so I'm taking her back to her room."
"I bet you are!" Cook replies, his grin even bigger than it was before. "Not that I blame you. If Naomi wasn't so into you I'd have made a move myself."
I guess it's somewhat sweet that he thinks Naomi is into me, but that doesn't save Cook from getting a punch in the stomach on my behalf. I'd say poor him but he's brought this on himself.
Out of the corner of my eye I see Naomi talking to her sister, with Tony nearby. Their discussion doesn't seem to be going all that well but I'm in the middle of something here so I can't go see why.
"Will everyone stop hitting me!" Cook pleads, doubled over in pain. "Both of you are so fucking strong."
"It's your fault," Effy tells him. "You're the one being a perverted wanker."
"Yeah, but that's who I am," Cook states. "And that's why you all love me. Am I right ladies?"
I ignore Cook so I can hand some money to Katie. "Use this to get back to the hotel when you're done. I'm giving you my extra key card. Don't lose it and try not to wake me up when come in."
"Anything else, mum? Do I have a curfew?" Katie asks sarcastically.
"Your gratitude is overwhelming," I deadpan. "You're welcome."
"Where is Naomi from?" Effy inquires catching me by surprise.
She didn't seem to pay any attention to Naomi at all when she first met her and I don't think the two of them have spoken once tonight.
"I have no idea," I admit sheepishly. I should probably know more about the girl I'm spending a lot of my time thinking about. "Why?"
Effy shrugs and it's hard to tell if she even really cares about her own question. "She just looks familiar, that's all."
Before I have time to analyze any possible connection between Effy and Naomi, the girl herself is back from her conversation with Darcy. She's all smiles, showing no trace of having a row with her sister. Perhaps I was imagining that.
"I'm ready to go," Naomi tells me and my body reacts by buzzing all over.
Feeling this way can't be normal.
"Good, so am I," I reach for Naomi's hand and happily she gives it to me without hesitation. I've never been the hand holding type before. Yet another thing that Naomi is changing about me. "Have fun you guys and try not to get arrested, yeah?"
Trust me, that's a warning I need to give.
"You have fun too!" Cook says with a very dirty smile. The boy can't help himself.
I ignore his comment because I know Katie will take care of him. Naomi waves goodbye to the three of them and then we're off.
It takes a while for us to navigate through the crowd. Good thing I don't let go of Naomi's hand as I lead us through the club. For practical purposes, of course. When we get outside the heat is stifling and it's probably the only thing about Vegas that I would change if I could. I had messaged the limo driver to let him know we were getting ready to leave so he's waiting for us just like he's supposed to be.
I am not ashamed to admit that I do have a fleeting thought about some fun Naomi could have in the back of this limo. I am only human after all. But I am trying to behave and when she yawns and rests her head on my shoulder those thoughts go away. They're replaced by sweetness and stomach butterflies.
Naomi closes her eyes and positions her body so she's curled right into me. Fuck. This feels so good. Thankfully she's resting on my right side so she won't realize how much she's making my heart race.
It's not that long a ride back to the hotel and yet I find myself disappointed when the limo stops. I've rather enjoyed cuddling with Naomi. Another first for me. I'm not at all the cuddling type.
On the walk through the lobby and the ride up the elevator there's a subtle shift in the dynamic between us. We don't say anything but we can't keep our eyes off each other. I think the realization that I'm taking Naomi back to her hotel room, where she's likely to be alone for the next few hours, has hit us at the same time. In spite of my noble intentions there's a side of me that wants to forget going slow. I don't know if that's a defense mechanism on my part or it's because Naomi is gorgeous.
I suspect it's a little bit of both.
Each step we take towards Naomi's hotel room seems to hold more weight than the one before. Our hands remained entwined tightly together and our eyes locked in a conversation that needs no words. We're both thinking the same thing and we're both having the same dilemma.
To nail the girl, or not to nail the girl, that is the proverbial question.
It would appear that Naomi has gotten her second wind because at this moment she looks anything but tired. My heart is thumping so wildly that it's distracting. There are so many conflicting thoughts racing through my head that it makes me almost dizzy. Although, I could also be feeling that way because even though this is Naomi's room, I suddenly find myself pressed up against the door.
Our faces are mere centimeters apart and any hope I have of stopping this before I can't is quickly slipping away.
Jesus, how did things get charged so quickly?
"Emily," Naomi whispers even though there's no around. Her arms are above my head and, fuck, it's sexy.
"Yeah," I whisper back.
"I really want to kiss you," she says in what is quickly being our thing I suppose. I wonder if she is going to announce everything she wants to do me?
We're both bordering on breathless and I can't seem to keep my eyes off her chest as it rises and falls at an increasingly rapid rate.
"But," I offer because I can sense that she wasn't done talking.
I'm too responsible.
I'm supposed to be throwing caution to the wind not analyzing every detail like I usually do.
"But believe it or not I really am knackered." The look in her eyes is yearning mixed with caution. I get that completely. "And I don't want us to do something that..."
"We'll regret tomorrow," I finish for her. I know on the surface it would appear that neither one of us should be holding back. We don't have to answer to anyone, we're both adults and we're clearly attracted to each other.
But like everything else where Naomi is concerned, I want what happens with us to mean something.
I want it to be more than just giving in to our desires.
Besides I'm not the only one with in this frame of mind so at least there's that. I'm not saying that I want to wait months to be with Naomi. First of all, I don't think I could even hold off that long. And secondly, we're just at the beginning, so if going slow makes the next part that much better, I can wait.
I guess what I'm really getting at is that I want to court Naomi.
And perhaps have her court me too.
Jesus.
I sound like I'm from the 50's and corny as fuck.
"Yeah," Naomi says looking uncertain. "That ok?"
I pull at the side of Naomi's shirt so we're fully pressed together. "Stop asking if that's ok," I order, trying to sound serious. The fact that my mouth is fighting to smile probably hurts my believability. "Ok?"
"Ok," Naomi answers and she appears relieved.
"Ok," I repeat earning a laugh from her. I stand up on my tippy toes so I can press a kiss against Naomi's cheek. I linger there for more than necessary just soaking in the reaction I get from touching her. "Sweet dreams." I move back to my original position in time to see that Naomi had shut her eyes when I kissed her.
"You too," she replies before letting out a content sigh. "I'll ring you tomorrow."
"I'll hold you to that," I tell her and then I reluctantly step to the side so we're not longer in such an intimate position.
I watch as Naomi enters her room and I'm rewarded when she blows me a kiss on the way inside.
Fuck.
I've gotten drunk on more occasions than I can ever count. I've dabbled in recreational drug use more frequently than most people. I've experienced the rush that comes with winning a poker hand or tournament. None of those things comes even remotely close to how Naomi seems capable of making me feel.
She's the cause of the most amazing high I never knew was possible - natural or chemically manufactured.
As I've said before, she's utterly addicting.
When I wake up the next morning, I'm greeted by the site of Katie and Effy standing over me. My sister's smiling at me like she knows something I don't and Effy is well, being Effy.
"Sod off," I tell the both of them as I attempt to pull the covers over my head. I don't normally have issues in the morning, but I'm still experiencing my Naomi high from last night that I don't quite want to come down yet. "I'm going back to sleep."
"It's two in the afternoon you slacker," Katie says before trying to pull the covers off me. "Get your lazy ass up."
Two in the afternoon!
I must have been up much later than I thought day dreaming about Naomi.
"No! Leave me alone!" I shout back. "I'm tired!"
Actually, I just want to check my phone to see if Naomi called me in peace. I don't want their prying eyes, or more specifically, Katie's prying eyes, around.
"Naomi dropped a note off for you this morning," Katie announces unexpectedly.
I sit straight up and the covers come flying right off. "Why are you just waking me up now?" I ask loudly.
"I was going to wake you up, bitch, but Naomi said it wasn't necessary," Katie explains and her smile is still as wide as ever. "How cute are you two exchanging love notes!"
I can't believe how annoying she is.
"You better not have read that note!" I warn her even though I don't know what's in it. "I'm serious!"
Katie just laughs at me and my over the top behaviour. "Please like I have nothing better to do than read lesbian love notes."
I grit my teeth in frustration, "Give it to me, now!"
"Whatever," Katie scoffs before dropping an envelope in my lap. "Effy and I are leaving soon to go shopping. We'll leave you to swoon over Naomi by yourself."
Exactly what I was thinking.
Once I'm alone again I wait about two seconds before I tear the envelope open. While I normally have a lot of patience, now is not one of those times.
As I pull a piece of paper from inside the envelope out, I can feel myself getting carried away with all the possibilities of what I'm about to read.
When I do start reading it doesn't take me very long to finish what is written and the words on this page are not at all what I was expecting.
In a very unfortunate way.
Emily,
I'm really sorry but I need to leave town for a few days with Darcy.
I'll let you know when I'm back.
Naomi
What?
And also, that's it?
No explanation.
Nothing.
I don't know how to react to this unwelcome and surprising news.
I guess what goes up has to come down.
Because as high as Naomi made me last night, today she's sent me crashing right back down to earth.
Hard.
