You don't actually love someone without having moments of wanting to kill them.

-My Mother :)


The thing with traveling with two kids and one baby was that we had to take a lot of breaks.

Well, not a lot. A lot more than I would have liked.

None of us knew exactly where District Thirteen was; we were going from the vague notion of them being close enough to District Twelve that they were connected by railroad before the dark ages.

Rue was dragging. Because the bigger boys were carrying packs, she walked more on her feet, not wanting to cause them extra weight. Finn was trying to motivate her along, but she could only muster a smile for so long.

Now I changed my mind; we needed to stop for the night.

"Let's rest for the night."

"Let's speed it up a little."

Cato and I spoke at the same time.

We looked at each other for a couple of seconds, and then I remembered I was angry at him. It was hard to remember that when he was looking at me with those ice-blue eyes that seemed to pin me right where I stood.

Finn sagged against me, only hardening my resolve to let us all rest for the night.

Marvel, Cato, Glimmer, and Clove all looked like they could run three more miles without break. I refused to call them Career's in my mind, because they weren't anymore.

Thresh looked like I did, able to make it some more, but wishing to stop.

Roan was curled up on my chest, but he was whimpering the whimper of wanting to stretch out. My arms were sore from holding him, but I didn't want to dump him on someone else.

"We should keep moving."

I rolled my eyes.

"Cato, we've been walking, running in some places, all day with only short breaks. We all can't do what you can do. We're going to camp for the night."

Cato's eyes narrowed.

"No, we're going to keep moving."

I felt my anger rising, but I turned to Glimmer and asked her, "Can you start finding some wood?"

Glimmer looked like she was trying hard not to laugh.

"Yeah."

Cato looked like he was ready to kill me.

"We need to move!"

Finally, I lost it.

"For crying out loud, you are probably the only one who could continue for as long as you would like, but there are three here that are very young, one of them my own son, and we are going to camp for the night, and you are going to chill."

His lip curled, and I knew he was going to deliver a bitting blow.

Not entirely sure if my fragile trust in him could handle it, I said, "And I'll take full night watch."

Clove's head whipped around to look at me.

I obviously would be exhausted tomorrow, but I would make it. Anything to make Cato shut the hell up.

Cato sighed, finally throwing down his sword about an inch away from my foot. I delicately decided not to comment.


About three hours into night watch with Roan stretched out to my side and I was regretting everything I said.

My head was swimming, and my leg muscles were aching. My eyes burned like someone had poured sand into them.

To keep myself awake, I went through the game bag that Prim had given me.

In it was some dried rabbit meat, and some clothes for both me and Roan.

Also at the very bottom was a mini-book of all the medical herbs that Mom knew about. Some medical things, a blanket, and a photo.

It was one of Dad.

I sighed, tucking it between the pages of the book and settling it back down in the bag.

Roan fussed a little, pushing out with his arms without opening his eyes. I rubbed the back of his head, trying to lull him back to sleep.

"Can't you shut him up?"

Patience already wearing thin with him, and at myself, I snapped at Cato, "What crawled up your ass and died?"

The look on his face was so stunned it was almost comical.

A second past and then he was back to his insufferable self.

"Chill."

For some reason, maybe exhaustion, maybe hormones or the stress I had been under these past couple of days, but that one word rubbed me the wrong way.

"Go to hell."

It was like poking an angry lion in the eye with a sharp stick.

The glare burned a hole in my cheek before I had enough.

Standing up, I stalked over, grabbed his arm, and hauled him away from the others. I had a feeling that our conversation was going to turn into a screaming match.

I didn't look at him when I pulled him about ten yards away from camp, and then I whirled around and gave him the fiercest glare I could muster.

"WHY have you been an ass lately? I don't understand!"

Cato growled, turning away like he was going to walk away.

"I don't need this from you."

I grabbed the closet thing to me, which was a pinecone, I launched it at the back of his head. It bounced off, disappearing into the forest.

My chest was laboring with my breathing, and every muscle of mine was tensed, ready to fight or run away.

Cato turned, slowly, but his eyes were molten, spinning with fury and other emotions I couldn't make out.

"Tell me why goddamnit! Tell me why you're a first rate jackass now, when days ago you were smiling and being nice!"

Cato stalked quickly over to me, pinning me to the tree that was closest to me.

It happened so fast I didn't have time to react.

"I am not good. I am not like Clove, or Glimmer, or even Marvel, who retained some of their humanity. I am a killer, and it's useless to pretend that I'm not."

Suddenly, everything clicked in my head.

He was closed off, because he didn't know what to do. It must have been so long since he let down his shell, liked people without thinking about having to kill them in the long run.

I realized I had been going about everything wrong. I had been angry at him, antagonizing him, pushing him away when I should have been soothing him the same way I soothed Roan.

Clearly thinking that I had given up, Cato released my arms from his iron grip, turning and stalking back to camp.

I sunk down to the cradle of the roots, and just stared blankly.

For the first time in my life I felt a little flare of something in the pit of my stomach.

And that little flare scared me.


Yeah...sorry for the long wait in-between the updates. :( I'm horrible.

This is a small filler chapter, with some important information! The next chapter is coming out soon, but let's all take a moment and appreciate how thick headed Cato is!

I know Katniss is a little OOC, but she's meant to be that way. She is still the badass character we know and love, but she has more layers now...albeit some more soft layers.

Anyway, thank you so much for the reviews! Please keep them coming!