Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. JK Rowling does.

Even if her recent comments about Romione never working out put me off.

AN: WHOA! I have never gotten so many reviews in one go! This actually makes me want to update sooner! But most of you have reviewed SIL under the name of "Guest" which makes it a little hard for me to reply to you guys individually. In any case thanks for the support, I really appreciate it! And I hope you continue to love the story and keep giving me feedback! It really makes my day you know!

MoreRemusPlease: Love your profile picture! I hope you like this chapter too!

Do keep the reviews coming in! I'll update much sooner then!

Again I have taken the liberty to allow witches and wizards to floo to the reception area of St Mungos.

Now on with our sneaky lovebirds!

Chapter 12

Remus was fast asleep. The full moon was yesterday and he was exhausted. He loved being in this space, where he could think of nothing and nothing could affect him. The sudden loud banging on his door jolted him awake. Even though his senses were dulled from the after effects of muggle painkillers, he was on his toes in an instant with wand in his hand. There were reports of Bellatrix and her minions attacking muggle villages and raiding houses for jewellery and other valuables so he couldn't be too paranoid. He heard Harry cursing in a very crude manner. Remus felt himself relax. If Harry was not at his best Auror stealth-like mode, then it was probably just going to be a fire or something that could be dealt with without defending yourself against mentally unstable people when you are still stiff with sleep. He rubbed his eyes and stretched a bit. Harry stumbled into his bedroom without knocking, causing Remus to jump slightly.

"We have to rush to St. Mungos, Fleur is in labor! Get dressed quickly and see us by the floo in five minutes" Harry rambled and left the room.

Now the loud banging made sense to Remus but it still annoyed him nonetheless. The Weasleys were family to Harry and Hermione so such a news would guarantee a certain degree of anxiety from both of them. He had been to wrapped up in trying to avoid Hermione that it had completely slipped his mind that Bill and Fleur were back from their visit to her family in France. He had no idea how they managed to travel if she so close to labour but then again he doubted whether the Veela would cancel her annual visit. He cursed in a very un-Remus way while getting dressed and grumpily walked down the stairs towards the floo. He didn't even know why he was going as he wasn't family but he supposed it would be rude if he didn't. He found a very tired Andromeda along with Harry and Hermione who were acting like two bouncy rabbits waiting by the fireplace. Remus went in last to floo to reception area of St Mungos as he was still contemplating going back to his bed. In the end Molly's disappointed face stopped him from being a prick and he allowed himself to be covered in floo soot.

George and a heavily pregnant Angelina were already waiting at the reception desk to be allowed in. Harry got their visitor lapels and they rushed towards Fleur's ward. The entire Weasley family except for Ron was there. Even Charlie had somehow managed to make it in time for the delivery. The mediwitch informed them that Fleur had been given a relaxant and it could take a few more hours before they get the good news. Everyone seemed to share the same level of excitement but Remus suddenly started to feel very heavy on the inside. He was starting to automatically zone out everyone. It had been so long since he felt this way that he had almost forgotten how painful it was. He couldn't quite place what caused the heaviness. It almost felt like he was having a heart attack. He tried to tell Andromeda who was beside him that he was going out for air but he felt his throat constrict painfully when he tried to get out the words. He decided to just slink away quietly and not cause a scene. He walked towards the exit hoping that a few moments of fresh air would help him. He used the quieter exit used mainly by the staff that he had accidently found during one of his many hospitalisations.

He found a bench outside the exit a little away from the main building. As he sat there and loosened his clothing a little to get more comfortable, he started to feel his eyes tearing up on their own accord. As he tried to get a grip on himself, he just could not figure out why he was crying like a baby outside a hospital when his friend was having a life changing moment inside. His body started to shake violently and he felt himself come undone like he hadn't in a long time. He felt like he was losing every little shred of self control he had. He couldn't quite explain what he was feeling. He couldn't even identify what he was feeling. All he could feel was his body was shivering, not from the cold but from something else. He tried to hold and rock himself to comfort himself but he didn't know what had caused the breakdown. He was fine five minutes ago and was grumbling like over exhausted werewolf after a full moon about being woken up from sleep in the middle of the night. He tried repeatedly to stop the crying and tried to get a hold of his wand just incase someone thought he would be an easy target for money or fun. But no matter what he tried, his body refused to cooperate with him. He felt a firm hand on his shoulder trying to stop his shaking. He looked up but his tears had blurred his vision to the extent that he couldn't identify the person who was standing half a foot away from him.

'Remus?'

Hermione.

He definitely didn't want her there.

'Are you okay?' the shaking just got worse. He felt her arms around him trying to hold him and he could hear her shushing him gently. She cradled him in her arms till the tears and the shaking stopped. She waited for his breathing to return to normal and kissed his cheek. He embarrassedly took out a hanky to wipe some of the snot that had resulted from the crying. If Hermione noticed, she made no sign of it. She held his hand in hers for a while and rubbed her thumb over his the way he had at the Burrow on Christmas day.

'Thanks' he said in a deadpanned voice.

'Is it about the baby? Your baby?' she asked him gently. Remus sucked in a breath of cold air and closed his eyes for a seconds, not responding to her question out of fear of another breakdown. When he opened his eyes, he felt as though his vision was a lot clearer than it was before his sudden and unexpected outburst of emotion. It was so unlike him to cry and grieve the way most normal people did and in the last year he had fallen apart multiple times. Dora and Sirius would have been disappointed in him. He was always the anchor. The one who always took everything in his stride. But lately he had very few reasons to be strong. He did not want to talk to Hermione about these reasons but he did not want to come across as rude and ungrateful. After all if it wasn't for her, he might have done something stupid in the dead of the night.

'I don't know. Maybe it is. I'm pretty sure it was a boy you know. He would have been a few months old by now and could have been a playmate of Bill's child.'

They both were silent for a while with Hermione continuing to rub circles on his thumb. He leaned into her a bit unconsciously and she revelled in the closeness. Hermione was ecstatic when she heard of Fleur's news from Harry and had already started planning for what she was going to gift the baby when it came back home. She had completely forgot about Remus until she saw him coming down the stairs looking weary and sleepy. It was just a day after his transformation and he looked it too but she didn't give it much thought because it was already routine for him. it was only when they reached the hospital did she start to notice subtle changes in him. His normally brisk walk had slowed down and his shoulders were starting to stoop. She thought she was only imagining it but when he started to tug at his clothes and walk away from the group did she know that there was something more to him than just exhaustion. It took her a while to connect the dots as he had mostly been quite genial lately and did not even throw any tantrums or have mood swings during the full moon. While she mostly had stayed away from him after the joke shop incident, she always kept an eye on him. She always noticed how he picked out Chamomile tea in the mornings and how he stirred the sugar just four times clockwise. She also noticed how his chest hair would always be slightly visible at the end of the day when he got home from work and loosened his robes. She was starting to drive herself mad with his little quirks and she was afraid that she would soon develop feelings for him.

His deep breathing sort of calmed her more than himself. She knew he was still troubled on the inside and that he might not be up for talking about his feelings this soon. When she followed him outside the hospital, she was shocked by his breakdown but wasn't entirely surprised. She had already caught him staring at Angelina's bump a few times and losing a child could never be easy for anyone. Much less for someone like Remus. She looked at her partner. He was looking into space, his eyes unfocussed and unblinking. She wanted to know what was troubling him and wanted to comfort him but she knew he wouldn't allow her that. They weren't that close yet. She studied the mild frown on his eyebrows which she longed to smoothen with her fingers. His mouth was set in a grim line and his laugh lines were prominent. She didn't know if he had them from laughing too much in his youth or from not laughing at all as he got older. His side locks and hair were dusted with grey hair but Hermione felt that it just added to his appeal instead of taking his youth away. He wasn't really that old. But at moments like these he seemed so much older. She rested her head on his shoulder hoping the contact would make him feel better. After a few more minutes of silence he spoke up. His voice was clear and deep.

'I hope Fleur hasn't delivered yet, I wouldn't want you to miss the moment. Lets go inside before the others get worried about us.' Hermione nodded and took his hand in return, pulling him towards the ward. They walked in comfortable silence towards the excited group who seemed to have not noticed their disappearance. As they got closer, they could hear Fleur's painful screams and sobs as her contraptions started to increase.

'The mediwitch said that due to slight complications they cannot administer any spells on the mother to lessen the pain or fasten the process. Poor girl might just be in labor for the entire night.' Andromeda filled them in.

As Hermione was torn between being wanting to be happy and concerned for Fleur and supportive of Remus, the man in question was strangely calm. Taking in the whole situation rather well, he even let out a genuine chuckle when George ratted off on the names he had thought of for Bill's child. Feeling her concern, he reached out and squeezed her hand before sending her a smile. He was pleasantly surprised by her attention but was glad nonetheless. It felt nice to know that there was someone for him. He did surprise himself too by the sudden turnaround in his demeanour. In the last hour alone he went from being fine when he got the news of the labor, breaking down once he reached the hospital and now actually being happy and a little excited at the prospect of another Weasley. Maybe he was starting to lose it.

'Its probably the full moon' Hermione interrupted his thoughts.

'Was I saying it out aloud?!' Remus asked, embarrassed to know that she got to know how he felt about her fussing over him.

'You didn't need to' she replied with a wink. Remus didn't know if that was a good thing or bad. Fleur blood chilling scream brought on complete silence. A few seconds later a baby's crying brought tears of joy for everyone including Remus. Whatever his personal demons were, he was going to be happy for his friend and his family today. The baby's innocent cries convinced him not be selfish that day. After countless hugs, kisses and pats on the back, the mediwitch came in to tell them that it was a girl and that they could go in a few at a time after about fifteen minutes. The announcement resulted in more joy, hugs and kisses and Remus felt almost giddy from happiness. He noticed Hermione failing miserably at trying to keep the tears at bay. Women. He smiled to himself.

After the Weasleys and Angelina were done talking to the new parents, Remus went in to meet them along with Harry, Hermione and Andromeda. Fleur looked understandably un-Veela like and exhausted whereas Bill was grinning like the muggle actor Jack Nicholson. Hermione and Anfromeda cooed over the baby prompting Harry to look over their shoulders. "Wow she has disproportionately huge eyes" he said, prompting a loud chorus of indignant "HARRY" from the women in the room. Bill and Remus just laughed while Harry tried to make faces at the baby, only to disappointed by the lack of response.

'Give her a few months Harry, babies don't generally react to their surroundings during the first three months' Remus said.

'Wud you like to 'old er Remus?' Fleur asked and he felt all eyes on him.

'I would love to hold her Fleur but I don't think that's a good idea. The only infant I have ever held is Harry and that was such a long time ago, I don't think I will hold her the right way' he replied.

'Really?!' both Andromeda and Harry replied in unison which was met by laughs from the remaining occupants. Andromeda proceeded to help Remus hold the girl in his arms. He hadn't lied about not holding an infant other than Harry but he did have enough practise with the boy to not ever have a problem with handling them. He was more afraid of hurting himself in the process and hence wanted to avoid it. However as he held the little girl, the only feeling that overcame him was that of protectiveness. She was such a tiny little thing, so innocent and so pure. Her nails were barely there! And in Harry's defence, her eyes were kind of too big for her face. He hoped that she would never grow to experience what they had. He started to bounce her gently even though he knew that would have little effect on her. He had all the bookish knowledge when it came to babies. He had done extensive reading when Dora told him he was going to be a father. But somehow all that knowledge seemed to be so irrelevant now. He didn't even know what he could do to make her happy. And he desperately wanted the beautiful being in his arms to be happy. The conversation around him faded out and he barely registered Hermione and Harry talking to the baby in his arms. He was so captivated by her that he felt very disappointed when Bill insisted that his wife needed rest and that they would see them at the Burrow on Sunday. He handed over the magical being over to Fleur and gave the new born mother a kiss on the forehead. He then turned to Bill and slapped him on the back in a friendly manner, 'Congratulations Bill, I guess there will be no Firewhisky nights for a long time now eh?' he joked.

The group flooed back to Grimauld with Harry and Andromeda rushing to their rooms out of exhaustion. Hermione was tired too but she wanted to make sure Remus was okay before she went to bed. Remus quietly walked to the kitchen and put tea to boil in a kettle.

'Would you like some tea too Hermione?' he asked her without looking back.

'Yes I'd like that' she replied breathlessly. Could a man sound that sexy while saying her name? Did everyone else sound like that when they called out to her? That seemed highly unlikely. She snapped out of her thoughts when Remus turned back to smile at her. Did his eyes have to crinkle every time he smiled? Was he doing this on purpose?

'You don't need to worry so much about me Hermione'. Damn he said it again.

'I'm not here because I'm worried about you' she replied weakly.

'Sure you aren't' he said with a raised eyebrow and a look that said he didn't believe her one bit. Did the back of her knees just get weak? She quickly pulled out a chair for herself and sat down. He handed her a cup of Chamomile tea and took a seat opposite her.

'Sometimes I wonder if Dora and I would have ever lasted long. I wonder if we would have made for a happy family together' he told her in a sombre voice. The topic Tonks and his marriage sobered her completely. Was he not over her yet? Why was he questioning their relationship now? Hermione felt her mind starting to go on auto pilot mode with the psychoanalysing.

'I loved her and I know she loved me more. She loved me in a fearless way which I was never capable of. But somehow as I think of our days, some of our arguments, the things that we left unsaid, the things we proactively hid from each other make me wonder how happy we would have been.' Remus said while he stared at his cup of tea. 'Don't get me wrong. I loved her, I still do and I always will. She gave my life meaning. But I don't think we were made for each other. It sounds funny right? An old man talking about not being made for his late wife?' he chuckled sadly. Hermione reached out to hold his hand.

'There is nothing wrong with wanting to be loved and to love Remus' she said. She hadn't realised how much she liked bringing her lips together to utter the 'M' in his name. If it hadn't been for the nature of their current discussion, she would have made a fool out of herself by repeating his name out loud.

Remus looked up at her and held her down with an intense gaze. She could feel herself shiver slightly down her spine from the power. 'Thanks Hermione' there! He just had to use her name again she thought to herself. 'Your tea will get cold soon' he pointed out. She almost gulped the entire cup in one go and that didn't escape Remus's notice who assumed his monolog had made the poor girl nervous.

'Are you tired?' he asked her to which she shook her head in negative. 'Would you like to read with me then?' to which she nodded with a meek 'Sure'. He was just trying to lighten the atmosphere and getting her to relax by indulging their favourite hobby. He thought it would be a good way to thank her for her generosity that night. They put their cups in the muggle dishwasher and went on to pick up their current reads. They took to the two ends of the couch next to each other with Hermione making sure there was enough space between the two of them. Despite the nature of their mostly one-sided conversation, she was unable to think of the man as her dead friend's husband or her best friend's dead father's best friend. Hermione was just feeling so un-Hermione like in that moment that she could only blame it on the tea. That was until she realised she started to find him sexy way before she touched her tea.

'What are you reading?' he asked her.

'The book by Amelia Crunch that we picked out at Cyranos. I never had the time to finish it strangely. What about you?' she asked.

'I'm just reading some Byron tonight. In the mood for it after a really long time.'

The image of Remus cuddled up on a couch reading Byron late at night wasn't exactly hot by conventional standards but Hermione being Hermione was having a tough time trying not to stare. After a while, despite her proximity to Remus, she started to feel exhaustion catch up with her and the world around her faded into black.

The next morning, Golden Boy Harry Potter did a double take when he walked down the stairs to his living room to find Remus and Hermione asleep on the couch with her feet on the former's lap.

**The End**

I somehow don't like this chapter. Is it too abrupt?