AGGGGGHHHHH. Dad's expecting calls from some people, so I only have like fifteen minutes on the computer. I must be the only person in the world who still only has a dial-up computer as the only Internet accessible software in their house.
Now, before I start, I'd like to make a little comment reply to Alkali, who was so kind to point out that this is against the rules.
Now, I'm just gonna say it right here and now.
CU CAN BITE MY ASS ALL THEY WANT. IT'LL JUST GIVE ME ANOTHER REASON TO HATE EM.
Alkali, I've been pestered by Critics United ever since I posted my third (abandoned) story. They deleted it without a second glance. Come on CU, it had ONE little song lyric snuck in! They can ban me, PM me threats (Again), bite my ass all they want, but I'm not the little innocent writer girl I used to be.
Now hear me roar.
So, sorry to say this Alkali, but I'm not going to be stopping any time soon. The only reason I'll ever leave this fic is if I finish it, or if I'm dead in a ditch.
But trust me; your voice is not ignored. I'll take what you said into consideration.
Oh, and by the way Alkali, this story was already on here, but got so many hate comments it was deleted. The author never posted another story (Trust me; I looked up the author's username. 0 stories.), and I highly doubt they ever came back here again. Lots of people post deleted stories like this back on so people (Them included) can poke fun at it. None of us REALLY mean it, well, except the Fangirls. NEVER MESS WITH THE FANGIRLS. HEED MY WORDS, ALKALI. HEED THEM.
And don't worry, I'm not mad at you. I'm a lot like you, really. But if the author gets a little too persistent or messes with one of my friends…IT'S ON.
AND NOW, FOR CHAPTER TWELVE OF PURE CONCENTRADED HORROR ON A STICK!
Sonic: That didn't make any-
SHUT UP HEDGEHOG AND LET ME START.
Why exectly dose everbuddy thank that Lauren an Me r lesbans? Iv sad like a thosand tims that we ant. Weve nevar hed sax! We both were makup and put efirt in r hare and dont try 2 lok manely and r relly pretty and the 1 tim my dad tok me to hom depo I thot it was boaring and hatted it their! Lauren had 2 comfart me (NAT WITH LESBAN SAX!) wen I telled her ur lyes abot us! STAP LAYING YALL! (AAAGGGGHHHH! OH NOVA, SOMEONE GOUGE OUT MY EYES! I FORGOT HOW BAD THIS WAS ARRRGGGHHHH! AGGGGHHHH! MY EYES!)
CHAP 12: THE 4 HOARSEMANS (The good news is, it's short like the rest of them!)
It was a few dyas aftar the wreding and everone was still scarred form the experyance. Me and Lauren were waking don the hall han an han with R BOFRENS LONK AND ICK (…Eh?). Wen we want passed one rome we herd voises cumin from inside. I opaned the door and saw sum TV screans that wer all showing the sam thin. In Subspas World, Barak Osama was talking 2 STAN HIMSLEF! (STAN LEE?! OMINOVA, WHERE?!)
"Zeldas atampt 2 mary Ton Link 2 Ganandorf falled!" Satin sad. (Ooh, I love Satin! So velvety and smooth…*Fantasy fantasy fantasy*)
"I no! It wasnt my falt! It was Jorge W. Boshs falt (…) (becuz Ubama alwas blams Bosh 4 his fallures (…And HOW do you know this? What, you send a spycam into the White House and non-chalantly tell your friends 'Oh, well I gotta go, it's time to go spy on Barack Obama in the White House!'))" Bork Ogama said.
"Its tim we sumun r ultamet wepons! The 4 wurst comanasts in all of histary! The 4 hoarsemans of the alpacalips jus liek in the Bibal!" Satin said. (Sooo, you want Death, War, Famine and Pestilence to get their asses up and over there? I highly doubt that would help. It WOULD kill off all of humanity, though!)
Satin opaned a porthole an the four mos terble comanists in allof histary came on at a tim. The firts comanst was Adulf Hitlur (…I'm guessing it's Death in disguise?). He was the presadent of Germeny during one of those world war thins. He was a leftwang excrement who killed consertatives in conservation camps. Wen America defeeted him he channed the nam of Germeny 2 the Saviet Onion and fot us agen in the coald war. (…WHAT? This girl is worse at history than writing. That is NOT what happened. *Starts rattling off* Sonic: *Plugs ears* Tell me when she's done.)
The naxt comanast came out dong the Ganon Style dance (…I had it coming. I just HAD to reference it last chapter, DIDN'T I?!). He was Charmen Moa (…Who? Maybe War in disguise?). Charmans Mow was the presadent of Asia 4 awile. First he boned perl habor so we nuked him than he chaned his nam 2 Charlie 4 sum resin and fot my grandpa in Vetnam. Wen he did his lesban dotter Kimmy Jonquil tok ovar as presadent but than she died 2 recantly I thenk. (…HUH?)
The next comanst was King Jorge the Thard (…I'm not even sure anymore.). Like I sad erlier he was the resin that socar is called fotbal in Britishland (WHY doesn't she just say Britain or England? WHY?!) so that reel fotball dosent get plaid their. Also he was the king of british two thosand yers ago wen Jesas and Jorge Wussinton teemed up 2 fond America. King Jorge crusifed Jesas but than Jorge Wasinton killed him 2 make America free and becam the first presadent. (…Jesus and…George Washington and…King George the Third did…AAAAAAAAAAAAA!)
The last comanast was sumon I new very wall. It was MR JONSON (…*Facepalm* Isn't he dead or something?)! Mr Jonson is my sinance teccer(WE KNOW. And someone should REALLY give me this guy's Email so I can send him this.) and hes an athist who trys 2 shave evilusion don r throts (I highly doubt this.). Also hes givin Becky (Who?) a beter grad in his clas prolly becuz shes an athist 2 and a lesban (she sad shes a femanast wich is the sam thin) (No, literally, who's Becky?). Hes the wurst teecher evar.
"Gesunhate ("Hello" in Germen (INCORRECT.)) Lord Satin!" Hitlur sad.
"Konichywa ("Hello" in Asian (I DUNNO ABOUT THIS, BUT STILL.)) Lord Satin!" Charmans Moo said.
"Ello guvnuh. Bluddy hall, u wankar (…My best friend Jessica is British, so I'm taking this as an offense. SCREW. YOU.)! (thats how they talk in Britishland (DEATH, PAIN, MISERY, AGONY, DESTRUCTION…Okay I'm done.))" King Jorge said.
"Hello my Master Lord Satin!" Mr Jonson said.
I new that all of us Christens wer in sirius treble (YOU KEEP MENTIONING TREBLE BUT HE NEVER SHOWS. I WANT TREBLE!) if we had 2 fite thes 4 comanasts. I returned 2 my room 2 prey to God that I cold defeet them wen they showed up.
ARRRRGGGGGHHH. I do not know how I'm going to get through this. Hey Sonic, you were pretty quiet, is everything okay?
Sonic: *Gone*
…Where'd he go?-Light
