CHAPTER 11
Through the swirling haze in his mind, Ryan could feel the soft pressure of his lips being pressed up against someone else's. It was actually the only thing he really wanted to focus on at the moment. In all actuality, he had no idea how this sensation had begun, but he didn't want it to stop. All he knew was that one second he had been dancing with someone and then he had been sitting in the booth with Troy.
Troy. The thought of the brunet made Ryan happy. He wished that Troy was the one causing this feeling right now. Where was Troy anyway? They had been sitting at their booth and then he stood up. Did Troy leave him at the club? No, he would never do that. They were friends, after all. Troy had wanted to go dancing. That's right. They were dancing together. But if they were dancing together, then how was it possible that he was kissing someone? Certainly Troy wouldn't still want to dance with him if he were busy with someone else.
But Ryan wouldn't want to be with someone else, not when he was with Troy. And he certainly wouldn't want to start kissing someone else when Troy was right there. That just didn't make any sense.
Then he felt the pressure against his lips deepen again. It sure was nice. He really wanted to know who it was. He opened his eyes and was confronted with tanned skin and brown hair. Ryan thought it was so much like Troy's. Where was he, anyway? Then, the person standing in front of Ryan who was causing him so much pleasure moved, and he caught sight of his face.
Suddenly, the haze lifted and the only thing Ryan could think was, "Shit. Troy."
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To say Troy was surprised when he felt Ryan press his lips against his own, would have been an understatement. But he shouldn't have been. He watched as Ryan stepped closer to him, he felt Ryan's hands as they ran over his chest, and yet he still was surprised when he leaned forward and kissed him.
At first, he didn't move. He stopped dancing and froze in place. There were a million thoughts running through his head, but oddly enough, pulling away was not one of them. He stood there as Ryan's lips pressed against his own. He had to admit that it wasn't disgusting. Ryan's lips were soft; if Troy thought about it, he'd probably say they were softer than Gabriella's.
He got lost for a moment, thinking about the kiss. Thinking about everything it meant for both him and Ryan. He knew he should have put a stop to it, but he couldn't bring himself to do that. And then he felt Ryan's lips shift against his and he found himself shifting his head to keep their lips in contact.
He probably would have continued thinking about the kiss and its ramifications all the while still kissing the other boy, but both the kissing and the thinking were brought to a complete halt when he felt the other boy stiff and pull away from him. He opened his eyes and watched as Ryan pulled away from him, realization of everything that had just happened washing across his face. He watched as Ryan's eyes widened and as his mouth began to open and shut and his hands began to shake. The blond started backing away and Troy knew he was about to bolt.
And so, Troy reached out and grabbed Ryan by the arms. Ryan closed his eyes and turned his face away, the tears forming in the corners of his eyes reflecting off the pulsing lights above the dance floor. His mouth began to move and Troy could tell he was saying something, but the loud music drowned whatever he was trying to say. He leaned forward, trying to hear.
"Please," Ryan said as Troy came in closer. His voice was barely above a whisper and so even in this close proximity was difficult to hear. "I didn't mean it," he continued. "I just—it—I don't know why I did it, I just—I'm sorry. Please, don't hate me."
Troy's brows furrowed when he was finally able to process what Ryan was saying. "Hate you?" he asked. Ryan turned his head to look at his friend. Troy could see the tears streaking down the blond's face and lifted his hand to wipe them away, but Ryan just turned his face away. "Ryan," Troy said. "I don't hate you. I promise."
"But—but I kissed you," Ryan said, still choking back some of his tears. "You're not gay; you must be disgusted."
He then made another move to pull away from his friend, but was stopped by Troy's still firm grip. "I am not disgusted," he said. When he saw the look of disbelief pass over his friends face, he leaned in and added, "I promise."
He smiled at Ryan, trying to convey that fact. "It was actually kind of nice," he admitted, causing his cheeks to flame red.
Ryan's head snapped back in Troy's direction. There was no way he could have possibly heard right. Troy actually liked the kiss? He was still going through all the questions his mind came up with when he felt lips press against his. His eyes flew open and he looked as Troy was kissing him.
He pulled quickly away. "What—what are you doing?" he asked, still shocked.
"I was just—I mean, isn't this what you wanted?" Troy asked, looking confused. "I thought that because you—"
But he was cut off by Ryan, smashing his lips to his once again. When Troy had been trying to explain himself to his friend, Ryan just couldn't get over the fact that he looked so cute when he was flustered. That and the fact that Troy had actually kissed him back caused Ryan to throw caution to the wind and kiss his friend with everything he had in him.
When he finally pulled back, he looked at Troy, who looked a little dazed, but in a good way. He couldn't believe what was actually happening. He had kissed Troy. Then Troy had kissed him back. And then he kissed him again. If anyone had asked him what he'd be doing this evening, making out with Troy Bolton would definitely not have been on the list.
And yet here he was, staring into the eyes of the boy he'd had a crush on for who knows how long, waiting for him to make the next move. Luckily, he didn't have to wait too long because in just a moment, he had his hands tangled in Troy's hair as they began kissing in earnest.
Minutes ran into each other and the only thing Ryan could think about was the feeling of Troy's lips on his, the taste of Troy's mouth and the smell of the body that was pressed so close to his. It was a totally surreal feeling that was ended all too soon because of the fact that one of the club's security guys came over to where they were standing. Apparently they had backed into a wall without realizing it and were making out with gusto.
"You guys want to take this out of here?" the guy asked.
Troy pulled away from Ryan, and looked back at the bouncer before nodding. He turned back to his friend, or was he just a friend, who was looking back at him breathlessly. "We should get out of here," he said.
Ryan just nodded his head and allowed himself to be pulled out by Troy. He didn't have any idea what was going to happen next, but he sure as hell wasn't going to do anything to stop it.
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Ryan closed the front door to his house and leaned against it while letting out the biggest sigh he had ever let out. Things after leaving the dance club had definitely not turned out the way he had expected, although, he really didn't know exactly what he expected. All he knew is that, what happened definitely wasn't it.
He had followed Troy out of the club in a daze. He had been led to Troy's truck and hopped in, not really knowing what to expect. The cool nighttime air cleared his head a bit, and it seamed to do the same to Troy. The two sat in silence for an awkward time before the brunet actually put his keys in the ignition and started the car. The two had pulled out of the parking lot and had been in the road for several minutes before they actually said something to one another.
"So," Ryan started, his voice soft, "what are we going to do now?" He would never admit it to anyone, but the silence was a little foreboding. He didn't necessarily expect them to be all over each other in the car, but he certainly didn't expect them to be sitting as far apart as they could and not speaking to one another. Maybe Troy was having second thoughts about the whole thing.
Troy hadn't responded at first, which did nothing for Ryan's confidence level. And when he finally did speak, it caused any confidence Ryan had composed to shatter completely. "I think we should both head home," he said. "It's getting pretty late and I have to get up early tomorrow morning and do some stuff with my dad."
"Oh, okay," Ryan said, looking away from his friend and out the window. His worst fears, it seemed, were just now coming true. Troy was being distant and he had no idea how to fix anything. He thought everything had been going so well, too.
And so that is what brought him to his current position, standing inside the entryway to his house and nothing to show for his evening, save a few very nice memories. At least Troy had driven him home; he could have just freaked out and bolted at the club. And he even said goodnight and that he'd call later, so not everything was lost. He just couldn't get over the fact that everything had come to such an abrupt end. It was so weird. He had no idea what was going on, and that bugged the crap out of him.
He needed someone to talk to, and even though he was still a little mad at his sister for what happened at dinner the other evening, he knew that she would always be there to listen to him. He pushed himself off the door and made his way to the staircase. The house was dark, seeing as how it was incredibly late, and it made him feel like he was on some sort of forbidden journey to get love advice from some crazy old hag.
He laughed as that thought passed through his head. He'd never vocalize it, though, for fear that Sharpay would in fact murder him and hide his body. As he walked down the hallway, he saw the sliver of light flowing out from under the door to his sister's bedroom. At least she was awake; he wouldn't have to risk life and limb in order to wake her up.
The door to Sharpay's room was unmistakable; it was painted pink and had a huge gold star covered in glitter and her name. As if he needed any more direction as to where to go when he needed her. He knocked on the door and then pushed it open without waiting for a reply.
Sharpay was sitting on her bed, her leg drawn up to her chest with foot in front of her. By the smell encompassing the entire room, he figured she was doing her nails. It was confirmed as he walked closer to the bed. He thought of jumping on the bed next to his sister, just to see what would happen, but then thought better of it. He really did need some sisterly advice.
"Hey Shar," Ryan said moving over to the bed, and instead of sitting on the mattress, leaning against one of the posts. "What are you up to?"
Sharpay snorted, in a very undignified way, and raised her eyebrow as if to say, 'What the hell does it look like?' She then capped the bottle and set it to the side. "How was guys' night?" she asked. Ryan wasn't sure whether he was glad she just cut to the chase or not. It certainly didn't give him much time to come up with any way to ease into the conversation.
In the end, Ryan just shrugged. "It was okay," he said. He slid down the post until he was sitting on the plush carpet next to Sharpay's bed. "I kissed Troy."
The silence that followed was deafening. He didn't say anything; he didn't move. He was also pretty sure that his sister had stopped breathing. He was just about to turn around and see if his sister hadn't been killed by the surprise announcement. Just then, he heard the comforter ruffle and felt the bed shift. His sister was then sitting right next to him on the floor, her eyes wide.
"Shut up," she said. "Shut. Up."
Ryan didn't say anything and just stared at her, not really sure if he should do anything. He couldn't tell by his sister's reaction if she believed him or not, and then whether or not she was angry.
"Well?" she asked. "Aren't you going to say anything?"
"You told me to shut up," Ryan said.
"Ugh," Sharpay said, balling her fists, and visibly restraining herself from yelling or throwing something. "I swear to God, Ryan. If you don't tell me right now exactly what happened I will murder you."
"There's not really much to tell," Ryan said, shifting so that he was facing his sister rather than just sitting alongside her. "We were dancing at the club and then I kissed him. Once I realized what I was doing, I pulled away, but then he kissed me back."
Sharpay just sat there for a moment, digesting everything her brother had just told her. Troy Bolton, the boy she had been chasing for the past year, had just spent the evening making out with her very own brother. If karma didn't believe in irony, then she sure as hell didn't know what to make of any of this. "You just kissed him?" She finally asked.
"Well, I had a few drinks before that," Ryan said, blushing a little. "I'm pretty sure that's the only reason I did anything. I mean, I didn't even make the first move with Austin, and I knew he was gay."
"Did Troy have anything to drink?" Sharpay asked, trying to sort all of this out in her head. It still wasn't adding up. Now that she knew Ryan had been drinking she had assumed that Troy would also have been drinking. At least she could explain something away with alcohol.
"I'm not sure," Ryan said, trying to remember whether or not Troy had been drinking. "I don't remember him going back up to the bar for a refill. And, I mean, the only reason I was drinking so much was because I was dancing. Troy wasn't doing any of that."
"Well shit," Sharpay said. Ryan gave her a look. It wasn't often he heard his sister swear, and never so bluntly. "Did you guys talk about it at all afterward? I mean, I just don't get it, Ry. How did this happen?"
"I don't know," Ryan said, responding to the question first. "And we never really talked about anything. Once we left the club, we just got into his car. He said he thought we should go home. He said he had to get up early, but I know that was just an excuse."
The two of them sat in thought for several minutes; Ryan still trying to figure out why everything had ended up the way it had and Sharpay wandering how her life had come to this. It was like something out of a tawdry romance novel. She, the lonely spinster sister who sat and pined for a boy while her brother ran off with him into the distance. Even her musings were overly dramatic.
"Well, I don't know what to say," Sharpay started. "I mean, you made out with Troy Bolton. I should be asking you what it was like and if he was any good, but I still can't wrap my head around it."
"I know," Ryan replied. "So am I."
"I just don't want you getting yourself into anything that you'll need help getting out of in the end," she said, putting her hand on her brother's knee. "I mean, you don't even know if Troy is interested in guys. Don't go falling head over heals or anything."
"I know," Ryan said, leaning his head back to rest against the mattress. "But he really was a great kisser."
He smiled and looked over at his sister who was shaking her head at him. The two of them then sat and continued to talk about everything into the wee hours of the morning. Sharpay kept probing Ryan to see if Troy had been under the influence of alcohol. For her, it was the easiest way to explain this situation was to blame it on the alcohol. Of course, Ryan was pretty sure it wasn't the alcohol and tried to explain it to Sharpay. Eventually, though, they decided to move onto other topics, such as how good of a kisser Troy was. And Ryan was more than happy to talk about stuff like that.
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After dropping Ryan off at his home, Troy drove around for a while. When even the cool night breeze coming through his open windows didn't do anything to clear his head, he went home. He tiptoed up to his room and slipped into bed and stripping down to his boxers, but sleep was long in coming. No matter what he tried doing, he couldn't get the evening's events out of his mind. After several hours of tossing and turning, he finally fell into a fitful sleep.
When he woke, he felt neither refreshed nor rejuvenated and nowhere near any kind of understanding of what had happened the other night. He got up and went through the motions of his normal morning routine. He avoided both of his parents and their seemingly constant questions. He tried playing basketball in his backyard, but he couldn't keep focused.
Eventually, even though it hadn't worked the previous evening, he decided to take his truck out for a drive. It was a nice day, and Troy was thankful he had it off from work. There was no way he would have been able to focus on anything and he didn't fancy coming home with bruises all over his body due to his inability to dodge the golf balls those little hellions would have been sending his way. Regardless, he had no plan for where he was going, which is why it surprised him to no end when he ended up pulling into Gabriella's driveway. He parked the car and sat in his seat for a few seconds before opening the door and getting out of his truck. He began walking up the path leading to the front door and stopped just short of ringing the doorbell.
After standing there for a few awkward moments, he raised his hand and pressed the buzzer. He only waited for a second before the door was opening to reveal Gabriella. She looked surprised to see Troy standing there, but smiled anyway. "Troy?" she asked disbelievingly. "What are you doing here? You didn't call or anything. Is something wrong?"
Troy just shook his head. "I kissed Ryan," he said. Then he stopped. That is definitely not what he had planned on saying. He had been planning on making some small talk and then eventually leaving, but apparently his sub-consciousness had other ideas. When he realized what he said, his eyes widened and he held his breath as he waited for Gabriella to react. In all honesty, he had no idea how she was going to take it, especially given the bluntness with which he had told her about it.
The two stood there looking at each other, neither one of them talking, that is, until Gabriella cleared her throat. "You did what?" she asked. From what Troy could tell she didn't sound too upset. In fact, she didn't sound upset at all, just confused and curious. "Did you say you kissed Ryan? As in Ryan Evans?"
Troy just nodded. He couldn't really think of anything else to say, and he was afraid that if he opened his mouth something else would slip out that he didn't really intend to be known. So, in the end, he figured head movements would be in his best interest. When Gabriella saw this, she moved to the side of the door and swept her arm inside indicating that he should stop standing awkwardly outside and actually engage in real conversation.
Troy didn't realize he was inside the house until he heard the door close before him. This was it. He was really going to be having this conversation with his ex-girlfriend. He was going to talk to his ex-girlfriend about how he had kissed a boy. He was going to tell his ex-girlfriend how he had kissed another boy and enjoyed it. He was going to tell his ex-girlfriend that he had kissed another boy, about how he had enjoyed it and about how it was one of her really good friends. When had this turned into bizarro world?
Troy waited until Gabriella was in front of him and then followed her into the kitchen. He watched as she grabbed two glasses from the cupboard and filled them with water, then sat down with her at the kitchen table.
"Well," Gabriella said after she had gotten her fill of just staring at each other, "are you going to explain anything or are you just going to leave it all up to my imagination?"
Troy looked down at the table and ran one of his hands through his hair. "I really don't know what there is to tell," he started. "We were at the dance club last night and he kissed me. And then I kissed him back."
"I never thought Ryan would actually do anything," Gabriella said softly, more to herself than to anyone else. "I mean, he said that he's had a crush on you forever, but I just didn't think he'd actually do anything about it. He hasn't yet, so why would he now?"
"Wait," Troy said, confused by what Gabriella was mumbling to herself. "What are you talking about? Ryan has a crush on me?"
"Uh," Gabriella said, looking from Troy to the floor and back. She knew she shouldn't have said that. At least she had the courtesy to look as though she was embarrassed. "You weren't supposed to know about that. I told Ryan I wouldn't tell anyone about it and now I've gone and told the one person I should never have told."
"You guys talk about me?" Troy asked. He didn't know whether to be flattered or a little angry. Who knew what they said about him when he wasn't around. What if Gabriella had told Ryan embarrassing things about him?
That seemed to catch Gabriella a little off guard and she started to stutter a bit. "Well, I, uh , we don't really talk about you," she said. "He just told me that he'd had a crush on you for a long time and I tease him about it sometimes. It's not like we talk about you all the time. But that's not even the point of all of this. What were you doing kissing Ryan last night?"
That brought the conversation back into perspective for Troy and he immediately shut up. He didn't know what to say to her about it. He really didn't. "Well?" Gabriella prodded. "Aren't you going to say anything?"
"It just happened," Troy said lamely.
"You didn't do this to just toy with his feelings, did you?" Gabriella asked. "Because he doesn't deserve that and you know it."
"Hey," Troy said, getting a little angry at what the brunette was insinuating about him. "I would never try to mess with someone's feelings like that and you should know better. Ryan is one of my best friends. I would never do anything to hurt him like that."
"Well," Gabriella started, not really knowing how to ask what she was going to ask, "what does this mean? Are you two dating now?"
That question threw Troy for a loop. He honestly hadn't even thought about that aspect of everything. What did it mean about his relationship with Ryan? And to top it all off, he knew that Ryan had a crush on him. "I don't know," Troy said.
"You mean you guys didn't talk about anything after it happened?" Gabriella asked. "Oh my gosh, Ryan must be so confused right now."
"He's not the only one," Troy added quietly. "I mean, I didn't even think about it when I kissed him back last night. I was just so caught up in everything and it was so nice; I couldn't just leave it like that, you know?"
"So what you're saying is that Ryan's a better kisser than I am?" Gabriella asked, a smirk on her face. She almost laughed out loud as she watched his face go through several different emotions. He obviously didn't know how to react question without thinking he was offending her.
"Don't worry, Troy," Gabriella said, reaching out and putting a hand on his arm, causing him to look back at her, visibly calmed. "I was just joking; besides I bet you two are pretty cute together."
That caused Troy to blush furiously and duck his head. But Gabriella wasn't going to let him get away with ducking out of the conversation. "So, what are you going to do about it, Troy?" she asked. "Do you like Ryan, you know, like that?"
"I don't know," Troy said. That phrase was very quickly becoming his mantra. "I mean, I really like him. He's fun to hang out with; he's a great golfer … and he is a really good kisser." The last part added as a mumble.
"That's really cute," Gabriella said with a sigh, leaning her arm on the table and resting her chin on her hand. "But I don't know if Ryan is really going to be into just having a casual make out buddy."
Troy blushed at that. "I don't think I really want something like that either," he said.
"Then what do you want?" Gabriella asked, trying to help him figure something out, hoping it would be something that both he and Ryan could live with.
"I don't know," Troy said.
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Ryan was walking through the clubhouse, making his way to one of the workout rooms. He had been avoiding Troy at all costs throughout the day, not really wanting to confront the issue of dealing with what had happened at the club a few days earlier. So far, he had pretty good luck. Too bad it wasn't going to last much longer. Just as if fate had planned it, when Ryan turned the corner, he came face to face with the shaggy brown-haired boy.
"Oh, um, hi Troy," Ryan said, blushing as though he had been caught doing something dirty. He was looking in every possible direction other than at his friend, even though that escaped Troy's attention, because he was doing the exact same thing.
"Hey, Ry," Troy said distractedly. "Sorry I haven't called or anything since the other night I've just been really busy."
Ryan turned back to his friend at that. He didn't really believe what Troy was saying, but it was nice that he wasn't just not talking to him. It was a good sign that he didn't completely hate him now. "That's okay, I was pretty busy, too," Ryan lied. He didn't want Troy to think he had been sitting pitifully by the phone waiting for his call. Which he hadn't, but just in case Troy might have thought that, he'd have an excuse.
"Yeah, so," Troy said, not really knowing where this conversation was going, and more than a little upset that he was letting that kiss mess up his friendship. He really enjoyed Ryan's company, and the blond had proven to be someone Troy just didn't want to give up on so easily.
He let out a frustrated growl, which made Ryan back up a bit, seeing as how he didn't really know what was going on with his friend. "Is something wrong?" he asked quietly.
"No," Troy said, "I mean yes. No. There's nothing wrong with us," he finished, gesturing between the two of them. "I just don't want what happened the other night to screw up our friendship."
Ryan stood there, just staring at his feet after Troy's revelation. He didn't really know what to think. He was glad that Troy didn't want anything bad to happen because of the kiss, but he was upset because it sounded as though Troy thought the kiss would only mess up their friendship. So, he resolved to just suck it up and pretend that everything would be just fine.
"Nothing has to be different if we don't let it be," he said, at first moving his hand to rest on Troy's shoulder, but pulling it back before it actually made contact. "We can just forget it ever happened."
Troy didn't know whether he wanted that or if he actually wanted to talk about it with Ryan, but from what he could tell Ryan didn't want to talk about it. And he didn't want to make things any more awkward between them. So he forced a smile. "You're right," he said. "We won't let it change a thing."
"Good," Ryan said, nodding his head, but not really agreeing with the words that were coming out of his mouth.
"So," Troy started. "Do you want to do anything later?"
Ryan was surprised at that, but decided to run with it anyway. "Sure," he said. "But I'm feeling like being lazy tonight. Do you want to just come over and watch a movie when you get off work?"
"Sounds good," Troy said, smiling. "I get off around 6 p.m. Do you mind if I go home and shower and stuff first? I can make it over to your place an hour after that."
"That's great," Ryan said, positioning himself to continue walking to the workout room he was heading to earlier. "I'll see you then."
Troy just watched as Ryan walked off, a small smile on his lips. "See you," he said to himself.
A/N: Hurray for awkwardness! That's pretty much the theme of this chapter. I was really excited to start writing this chapter because it's like the turning point for everything. I hope you're all enjoying stuff and not getting too frustrated with all the characters and their silly misunderstandings.
I'm going to try and stockpile some chapters before school gets out in a month because I'm going to Europe for two weeks and I won't be able to update from there. So, keep your fingers crossed that I'll find some free time in the coming weeks. I hope you're all having a fantastic week and that you're all being productive in your own ways.
