Chapter 12 – Home is with you
I hugged my dad, "I'll see you soon okay?"
"Be good,"
"I will. I promise."
"I don't want grandkids."
I laughed, "No grandkids, I promise."
"Just have fun okay? Don't forget to come visit me."
"Dad, I will come to see you, I promise. I love you."
"I love you too. Tell Troy I said hi,"
"Got it." I waved and walked away. I went through security and sat down and waited. I ran my fingers through my hair and sighed. I had a headache all day yesterday and felt sick most of the afternoon. It was probably the worst hangover I had ever had.
When my flight was called, I stood slinging my purse over my shoulder. I then stuck my hands into my pockets and waited for them to check my ticket. I walked through and found my seat; I relaxed my head as I had a direct flight, thank god. It was hard to say goodbye to Mallory and Ellie yesterday. It was hard to say goodbye to all of them.
I didn't even feel like I was in the air all that long before we were touching ground. I was too tired to become excited to see Troy, I missed him and really missed him, don't get me wrong. I just was so tired.
Pushing off the seat, I closed my eyes tighter and rolled to the side. The captain told us to have a good day and to go on. I slung my bag over my shoulder, I was so ready to fall into Troy's arms and just stay there. A smile grinned over my cheeks and I looked around the airport. My eyes scanned over everybody and I kept walking. I prayed he remembered that I was coming this morning but we had talked last night.
I chewed on my lip until I noticed him; he was standing straining his eyes to look for me. He turned and was on to his tiptoes. His legs were nicely tanned, his khakis looking great on his hips with a button up shirt that was pulled to his elbows. God, he was sexy. His hair was cut but spiked in the front, I walked faster and he turned to face me. "Brie!" he shouted, a grin rose over his cheeks and he took a leap forward and I dropped my bags falling into his arms. He pulled me close and kissed my temple. I closed my eyes and let my fingers wrap around his shirt.
"Oh Brie," he whispered quietly. I clung to him and I felt my body rock. I didn't know I was crying until he wiped a tear away. "Hey, it was only like sixteen days away from each other."
"I don't know what's wrong," I replied, a mess. He laughed and he kissed my forehead. "How long do I just have with you?"
"A few hours, why?"
"I just want to lay in your arms."
"That can be arranged." He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me close. His heartbeat echoed in my ears. My heart filled with happiness and I hugged him tighter. "I missed you."
"I missed you too."
"You look tired," he pushed my head back lightly, "I am." I whispered tired, "That's why I just want to lay with you."
He wrapped one arm around my waist and we walked to baggage claim. Troy hoofed my bag over his shoulder, "You are awful quiet."
"I think I am still hung over."
Troy chuckled next to me, "You have that look."
"I slept all day yesterday."
"I figured. I called a few times and never got you."
"I crawled into my bed at my dads house and just slept."
Troy kissed my forehead, "Get some rest, tomorrow we can do something."
He locked our fingers together and he kissed the top of my head. I climbed into his car he was driving. Pulling my knees into my chest, I lowered my head onto my knees. Troy looked over my body and he found my hand, he kissed it softly and he started the car. "Are you glad to be done with school?"
"Heck yea," I muttered, "Why do you think I got so drunk?"
Troy laughed, "I missed you and you are a funny drunk." I buried my face into my knees. "What did I say?"
"You just rambled on about stuff, it was cute. I did ask you if you loved anybody else." I felt my heart stop, "What did I say?" he raised his eyebrows, "Is there something I should know from my sober girlfriend?"
I shook my head, "No, but I was drunk."
"Yea, you were, so I asked and you said only you." I smiled and leaned towards him. He pulled up to a set of apartments. We both got out and he scooped me up into his arms. I held my purse and laughed, "I'll come back later for your bag."
He kissed me softly and then I wrapped my arms around his neck. He smiled and we pressed our foreheads together. He carried me inside and when we got to his apartment door, he swiftly opened it. The TV was on and a loud laughter rang out.
Troy dropped me to the ground and he wrapped his arms around my waist. "Zack, Josh," Troy moved into the living room. Josh was almost lying upside down and Zack had his foot over top of the couch. A smile pressed over my lips, Bryan and Luke, another teammate was laying there.
"Gabi!" they all called, I pulled my arms into my sweatshirt and grinned. "Hi,"
"We are going to the room for a while."
"Oh shit, should we leave."
"I'm going to sleep." I muttered moving out of Troy's grasp. "I think somebody is still a little hung over." Troy said when I walked into his room. I collapsed down onto the bed, I heard Troy laugh from the doorway. He smacked my butt lightly and he collapsed down next to me. Troy lay down and I crawled over to him. I curled into his side and whimpered.
Troy laughed quietly and wrapped his arms around me. He kissed the top of my head softly and curled up into me. I took in his sweet smell and my fingers wrapped through his shirt. My fingers slipped up his shirt and he closed his eyes.
"Gabi," he breathed, "Don't mess with me, it's going to be a dangerous game." A wicked grin slipped over my lips and I traced each and every ab. "Oh God," he squirmed and I stopped, I rested my hand on his stomach and I tucked my head into him. "I love you Troy,"
"I love you too Brie,"
Waking up to an empty bed was not fun. A chill ran over my body.
I sat up and I felt my messy bun, which was barely in a hair tie. I rubbed my eyes and I pushed off the bed, I walked into the kitchen and I saw the chips laying on the table, socks on the floor, Xbox controllers laying around and dirty clothes everywhere. I turned my nose up and I walked over to the counter. A note scrawled out from Troy sat there.
'I'll be back late tonight. I love you. Xox – Troy'
I debated back and forth if I should go and see him but I didn't want to shower and get ready. I picked up the chips and the controllers, cleaning up everything. I took their laundry and I decided to do it. I probably did laundry better than any of them. I pushed their stuff in and I turned the machine on. Walking into the apartment, I straighten up Troy's room. It was a two-room apartment Zack had the other room.
Scooping out the fridge, I looked at the chips and leftover pizza that looked like it had been there longer than it should have been. I cringed, I looked around and Troy's car keys sat there. I grinned and I scooped them up.
He was here till Thursday. Then they were on the road. I was going to cook for these guys. I found one of Troy's jackets and slipped on my tennis shoes. I then went to his car and I got in. I backed out and I drove around until I found a grocery store.
I shopped around and grabbed several different food items. I checked out and headed home, I had picked up a few pots because well, they didn't have any. They lived off frozen foods.
Pushing the cart to my car, I put everything inside the car and I grabbed some ice cream for Troy and I later. Zack and whoever else was on there own, going back to the apartment, I put all the food down and I then went to switch the laundry over to the dryer.
It was almost ten at night when I began to cut up food. I cut up onions and peppers; I then diced some chicken before mixing it all together. I put it in the oven and I started some potatoes and corn.
My hair kept falling more, my sweat pants lowering on my hips. I glanced at my watch to see how much longer the dryer might have. I glanced at my food, giving it a few checks before I walked out and down the hallway to the laundry room. I peered in and it had two minutes left. I just opened it and dumped it in; I switched the second load I had started into the dryer before going back. I folded it and took what laundry I knew that was Troy's into his room.
It was almost close to eleven when I pulled the chicken out, being exactly done after adding a little sauce on top. I switched the last of the laundry to the dryer and I finished off and grabbed the paper plates just in time as the door clicked open. Troy always complained about having to pick up food so the smell of McDonald's filled my nose.
"What the hell is that smell?"
Troy and Zack entered my view. The McDonald's in there hands were dropped and Troy looked at me. "You guys deserve a homemade meal and I had nothing better to do." Troy grinned and he walked over wrapping my up into a hug. He pressed his lips against mine, "I freaking love you."
"Jesus, me too," Zack dug in and Troy did right after. "How was the game?" I leaned against the counter, "Good, I mean we could have done better. I sat the bench the night but hey, I am a pitcher." Troy laughed, "Bolton,"
"Yo?"
The boys piled in, "Is that real food?" I laughed, "Dig in, and there is a lot."
Three more boys walked in and took up the rest of the chicken, potatoes and corn. They all ate it all, the fast food bags dumped into the trash. "Bolton, she did my laundry!" Zack bounced around, he put his plate down and he pulled me into a hug. "Can we keep her around forever?" Troy laughed his eyes twinkled. He winked towards me and he smiled.
He finished eating and when he was done, he slipped his arms around my waist. "Thank you, that was amazing." I kissed him softly and a few of the guys hugged me and thanked me for the food before leaving. Once the last one left, Zack laughed, "I have clean clothes!" Troy cringed, "Thanks, really, you have no idea how much that meant to a lot of us."
"What time is your game tomorrow?" I asked running my hand down his arm, "Six thirty," I nodded, "When you all get back, I will make a big ol pot of spaghetti and you can all eat."
Troy grinned, "I love your spaghetti."
"Then, tell whoever you want to come to come."
Troy picked me up and spun me around. "You are the best fucking girlfriend ever." I laughed and Troy kissed my lips. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him. "Gag me."
Troy broke the kiss, "Did you not taste the meal she just made us?"
"True, true,"
I buried my head into his shoulder and kissed him. "Hey Zack, do you think you could clean all of this, hey yea, thanks," Troy walked off to his room and he shut the door locking it behind him. A smile crossed my lips and he laid me gently on the bed. He hovered over me and he kissed me. His lips soft against my touch and his lips sending Goosebumps through my body, my legs wrapped around his waist and I pulled him closer to me.
He pressed right into my thigh, he was already so hard, I moaned quietly and he smiled. He broke the kiss and he trailed them down my body, He slipped his jacket over my head and he threw my shirt off after that.
He frowned at my sports bra, "Hey, I rode in a plane and slept." He smiled and he pressed his lips in-between my breasts. He tugged it up and I helped him get it up and over my head.
He sucked on each of my breasts slowly, a pleasure filling my body. I broke him away from me and I lifted his shirt off of his body. "Oh Brie," he muttered, he kissed me roughly; my fingers traced each abs in his stomach. He broke the kiss again and I wrapped my legs around his waist.
I was so happy I was back in his arms.
"So how many boys should I be expecting tonight?"
"Most of the team." Troy mumbled his eyes trained on the game in front of him. "Do you want to go to the store with me?" I asked, he didn't answer as he moaned and Josh laughed. I rolled my eyes and I walked over to him, I slipped my legs around his waist and I looked him into the eye. He watched me and he smiled, "What?"
"Do you want to go to the store with me?"
Troy turned his head, "This town has a store?" I rolled my eyes, "You guys," I leaned forward and kissed him. He wrapped his arms around my back and pulled me closer. "Get a fucking room." Zack threw a pillow at us, "Okay!" Troy said laughing, "Not here!"
I kissed Troy's forehead, "Come on, if you are good I'll let you make out with me in the car." Troy wiggled his eyebrows and got up. I found my purse and keys. Troy pulled on his jacket and he came over and slipped his hand into mine. I squeezed it and we both headed to the car. He took the keys from my hand, "When is your next day off? Like the entire day?"
"Well we don't get an entire day. We usually go in for a bull pen session or something,"
"Well is there any way you could get it in the morning?"
"Yea, why?"
"I want to go to the beach with you." Troy smiled, "Yea," he glanced at me, "Monday, is our next day off. We leave Wednesday night, do you want to come with us?" I sucked in a breath, "Where are you going?"
"Myrtle Beach."
"Maybe, how long?"
"Hour and half,"
"Why not?"
He smiled and turned towards me, "Good," he turned back towards the road and he pulled into the shop. "When do you go home?"
"First week of June, already worrying?" I joked; he shook his head, "Of course not. My parents are just coming into town the last week of May and staying for a while."
"Ah,"
We got out and I laced my fingers with Troy's, we walked through the store and I picked up lots of things. "Let me pay for some of that," Troy demanded, "No." I replied, I picked up butter and more noodles and a big ass pot to cook it all in. Troy watched and he wrapped his arms around my waist. We walked through the store and I giggled. I kissed his arm; he rested his head on the top of mine.
"This the girlfriend?" Troy turned around, "Coach Wilson," Troy stuck his hand out, "Troy," Troy stepped aside, "Yes, this is my girlfriend, Gabi,"
I shook his hand, "Nice to meet you! He doesn't seem to shut up about you." I blushed and Troy squeezed my hand. "How long are you in town?"
"Until the beginning of June. My brother and sister turn two and I promised to be there."
"You look familiar," It always warmed my heart that Troy never told anybody who my dad was unless they asked him if that was my dad. "My dad is Alex Montez," I finished, the coach light up, "Wow! I forgot he had an older daughter, how did you two meet?"
"She hunted me down," Troy said with a laugh, his eyes twinkled, "Did not. You were the one who showed up in all of my classes."
"Actually, I was going to school there first."
The coach laughed, "Well, you two are defiantly good with each other. I met your dad once when he was in the minors, great ball player. Troy, I'll see you tonight."
"See you there coach," Troy watched him walk off and I smiled, he locked his arms around my waist again and we kept going. "I'll make you breakfast tomorrow, what do you want?"
Troy moaned in my ear, "You are so slowly turning me on and making me fat. What are you doing to me?"
"I'm cooking for you."
"God I love you," he buried his nose into my neck and I laughed. I turned im around and I kissed him. He nipped at my lip and I shook my head. "I think we should hurry and well," he let his sentence fall apart and he kissed me again. "Why must you have roommates?"
"Maybe they are going to go play golf."
"Maybe, they like that call of duty game too much."
"Maybe they should just ignore us."
He raised his eyebrows and I smiled. I pecked his lips with mine and we went to the checkout counter after making sure I had everything. Troy laid his credit card down and I picked it back up handing over mine. "Gabs," he said, I gave it back to him. "Save your money,"
Troy turned his head, "Please,"
"No,"
I signed my name and then I pushed the cart out. "That's it. I'm doing something for you and you won't even know it."
"Go ahead. I am just saying I am going to buy this food."
Troy laughed, "You are so fucking stubborn."
"You are so mean!"
Troy's eyes danced and he smiled, "You are so beautiful," he murmured, he cupped my face with his hands and he pressed his lips to my forehead. We loaded the car and he took the keys. "Come on, I owe you."
"You don't, do you remember those beautiful flowers? All of those things you do for me?"
"Do you know how many trips your family has taken me on?"
"You took me on a few,"
"None to the Bahamas which will be changing. During Christmas break, my family is going to Mexico or on a cruise and you are coming weather you like it or not." I rolled my eyes, "Okay, fine, there you repaid me." He chuckled, "You are not getting out that easy."
He looked over when he pulled into the apartment complex. We unloaded groceries, "Expect about twenty of us, maybe less maybe more."
"Got it."
Once the last grocery was carried in, I prepared lunch and Troy wrapped his arms around my waist as I did so. The boys had disappeared and he was like a letch. His hands always right around me but I wasn't complaining. I loved him touching me.
When I finished lunch, I set it in front of Troy and he kissed my neck. His slow kisses driving me insane. "Aren't you hungry?" I breathed, "Not at all." He picked me up and set me down onto the counter, I gave in and I pressed my hungry lips over his. I let my fingers run through his hair and my legs wrapped around his waist, pulling him closer to me.
He groaned into my mouth and he broke the kiss to trail them down my neck. His fingers slipped up my shirt and he grinned against my skin. His lips were warm at every touch. My head fell back and my back ached when he sucked on my neck. My legs buckled and I lifted his shirt up and over his head.
He kissed me harder and I wrapped my arms around his neck. He picked me up; he took several steps to the room until he pushed me up against a wall. His fingers played with my buckle and he slipped my shorts down my legs.
I kicked them off and he finished the walk to the bedroom. He laid me down onto the bed and he then slipped his shorts off along with his underwear. I closed my eyes and Troy straddled my lap. He pushed my legs out and settled between me. He pulled off my shirt and his fingers ran down my stomach. "You are so beautiful," he whispered into my ear.
My lips could only make a small moan; nothing could come out of my mouth. He snapped off my bra easily and he kept his eyes on mine. Something most guys I had sex with when we were apart, during our separation. They were always trained on my breasts or else where. Troy was the only one who held my eyes.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him on top of me. His whole body pressing against mine, I moved our lips back and forth and kissed him deeply. He moaned and he pressed his hard erection against my thigh. My legs burned with passion.
"Now, I need you now." Troy pushed back some of my hair. "We are taking this slow." He whispered. "Very slow," the words of romance echoed and I didn't want slowly. I squirmed underneath of Troy and I gripped his shoulders, "What do you think you are doing?" one of his sex smirks crossed his face. "I am not in the mood for slow. I am in for the fast hot," I closed my eyes, "Hot sex. So hot sex."
Troy smirked into my neck and I pulled him to a sitting position. I straddled his lap and spread my legs. "Where are your condoms?" Troy threw his body back and he reached for his nightstand. He pulled it open and handed it to me. He kissed my neck as I opened it and I put it on him. He moaned with every stroke of my finger. I positioned myself but he took his thumb and played with my nipple, "I swear, I am so ready."
Troy nodded, "Good God, me too."
His body arched and I pressed closer to him. Troy's hand cherished my back and I buried my head into his neck. We cried each other's names out and I tightened around him. "I love you so much," Troy, panted, "God you amaze me."
We moved in a rhythmic motion. Our bodies connected as one; there weren't many other places I wanted to be than right here.
I watched most of the guys dig in. They were all eating. I laid the warm cookies out and Troy grabbed my hand. He had spaghetti sauce on his cheek and I giggled. I took my thumb and wiped it away. "Hey beautiful," he kissed me softly. "Wanna get out of here for a bit?" it was packed with boys.
"Sure," he wrapped my hands and we walked out, he took my down to his car and he backed out. He drove for five minutes before coming to the beach. I climbed out after him and the ocean crashed against the beach. The large waves, Troy found a spot and we both sat down. I scooted between his legs and he kissed my temple. "So how are you liking it?"
"I'm loving it. I'm ready to go to some baseball games."
"Good, I'm ready for you to watch me."
"Why couldn't you be a normal position player,"
"Do you not like me as a pitcher?" he asked with a smile, "Of course I do. I just, wish I could see you play every single day. Not every fifth day."
He smiled and kissed the top of my head. He brushed his head into my hair. "I love you," he said, he held me and I leaned back against him. "I love you."
We let the waves fill our ears, "I miss our spot." I told him, he squeezed me close, "I miss it too."
"I miss being there with you," I corrected, "Yea, I do too."
"Truth?" I asked him, "Sure,"
"Are you happy to have me here?"
He laughed, "Yes, the food you keep cooking, the sex we keep having, just having you right here with me. I don't care if I had either of those things, just having you right here in my arms, that's enough. I love having you here. My bullpen session today went so well. I was on point, had great command."
"Good," I encouraged, "Good enough that I don't know if I am going to be here in Wilmington much longer."
"What's next?" I asked him, "Arkansas, the Naturals."
"My turn," Troy switched the subject, "What are your plans for the futures?"
"For what?"
"Career,"
I sighed, "Oh I don't know. I have debated between a preschool teacher, physical trainer, a nutritionist, a nurse, or a teacher, an athletic trainer…" I trailed off, "I don't know,"
"I think you don't have much more longer before you have to decide."
"I think an Athletic Trainer would be fun but I love little kids so going to be a preschool teacher but if I was a physical therapist I could be a sports physical therapist,"
Troy rubbed my shoulders, "Well it sounds like you could eliminate nutritionist then."
"Yea,"
"I see you work with kids, so I think you could take physical therapy out but after that, an Athletic Trainer? That's hot as fuck, a preschool teacher, that's a lot of you." I listened to his words, "That makes more sense."
"It does but in the end, it's your choice. I was just wondering where your head is at."
"It's everywhere."
Troy chuckled and he kissed my temple. "You'll do fine."
We watched the ocean roll up again, "Where is your head at?"
"You," he mentioned, "That's it?"
He nodded, "Basically. You are always filling my mind; you are the only thing that I can't block out on the baseball field. You are like a drug and you are constantly in my mind. I worry about you."
"Why me?"
"I worry about how you are doing and how you are feeling. You dropped a bomb on my one day; I wasn't expecting it at all. Now I look at you and just wonder what's going on in your mind. I wish I knew it was coming but I didn't so now I just look for any sign that something is coming."
My body stiffed in his lap and I slowly turned around. I let my head lay on his shoulder and he wrapped his arms around my waist pulling me close. "I'm not going anywhere Troy."
"I feel like you said that last time."
I closed my eyes tight, "It was a mistake." I told him; I wrapped my hands around Troy's arms and squeezed them. "I'm sorry for what I did and I don't want that to happen. I don't want you doubting me because I don't want to go anywhere. I just want to be with you." A tear escaped my eyes and Troy kissed my temple. "Hey, I'm sorry okay? I didn't mean to sound like that I just worry. I kiss you with everything because I don't know when I'll have my last one if you are just going to walk out. It scares me because things get hard out here."
More tears left as he lost trust in me. "I'm not leaving." I pulled back and Troy's eyes softened when he saw the tears. "Unless you want me to go."
Troy shook his head and he put his hand on the back of my neck. He guided my head to his shoulder and he then hugged me. "You aren't going anywhere." He pressed his cheek against my head and he held me. His arms holding me, "You are mine forever okay?"
"Good, I don't want to be anybody else's."
"You aren't."
We ended truth after that; we really didn't talk at all. We just were in each other's arms, not wanting to move away from each other.
My eyes watched Troy sleep; I hated thinking that he was always thinking about me. I slid out of the bed and I went into the kitchen. A girl's shirt was lying on the floor and it wasn't mine. Zack's door was shut tightly.
I missed my friends. I missed Ellie and Mallory I wanted to cry I missed them. We had barely any time to talk to them at all since I had arrived. I pulled my shirt over my wrists and I found my phone. It was early but maybe they would answer.
My first call was to Mallory, it rang three times and she answered. "Are you missing me as much as I am missing you?"
I laughed, "Yea, I am really missing you."
"You sound upset." I turned to see the door to Troy's room closed. "Troy told me last night that when he looks at me, all he can think about is if I am going to break his heart again and when I'm going to bail. Saying he kisses me like he does because he doesn't know if it's the last one or not."
I collapsed on the couch and I closed my eyes, "I feel terrible about it. I feel so terrible."
"Gabi, what made him tell you this?"
"We were playing truth,"
"That game is dangerous."
"I know, we play it all the time and I just asked what is on his mind. He said me and it went on from there."
"Don't sweat it Gabi, he knows that you love him a lot."
"What if that's not enough?"
"Gabi, sweetie," I sucked in a breath and cleared my throat trying to stop tears. "Should it hurt to love him?"
"Are you on your period? You are really emotional?" I closed my eyes and tried not to laugh. "Mal, I love you."
"I love you too girl, keep your head up. Talk to him if you need it, just talk to him and tell him how that made you feel."
"I will Mallory,"
"I do miss you like bucket loads though, when can I see you?"
"You should come out soon."
"I think you should come see me and my little town."
"I'll run it past my parents. I miss you Mal,"
"I miss you too Gabs! I am going to go, my brother is banging on my door."
"I'm going to make breakfast for Troy, try to clear my head, maybe I am going to go on a run."
"That always clears your head."
"Yea, I think I am."
"Good,"
Once I hung up, I found a pair of shorts and a tank top. My hair was pulled back tightly and I started music, letting nobody call me at all. Once I hit the streets, I just ran, I ran till I didn't know where the hell I was. Once I hit the ocean, I ran right into it. I let the cold waves hit my body and let rippling chills over my body. Doubt had filled my mind and worry.
I let the water wash over me again and I felt my body break down. My emotions held me tight. Walls were always built so high. I had so many walls I didn't want to have.
My mind went to Troy and I began to run back. I thought about everything right he had down, nothing wrong. My body rippled with pain and I ran back to the apartment. It was one of the first times in a long time that I couldn't shake everything from my mind. It was going nuts.
My eyes pressed to the apartment building. I pulled out the ear buds and I walked the rest of the way. I walked up the stairs and regained my breathing. I felt a sigh leave my mouth and I closed my eyes tightly. When I stood outside the door, I opened it and Troy was pacing the living room. Zack lying on the couch barely awake. "Dude, she is fine."
"Then why isn't she answering her phone?"
"She didn't leave you again. All of her stuff is here, would you relax."
I shut the door and both of there heads turned towards me. I pressed my lips tight together. "So ever time I leave is that what you are going to think?"
"You weren't answering your phone, it was going to voicemail." His voice seemed to be guarded, "I thought we were getting past this Troy! Then you fill my head with doubts and worries. I am so fucking scared that you are going to reject me and you won't leave my head either and its driving me fucking insane. My head pounds because now all I can think about is what you said to me. Telling me that all you could think about me was if I was going to leave you again. It echo's in my ears."
Troy took a step towards me and I took a step back. "I was hoping it was over! That we could just move on because that's all I want to do escape my dumbass mistake that I made when I was scared. I was so scared." Tears began to roll down my cheeks and Troy came over and he wrapped me in his arms. I fought against him and tried to push away but he only wrapped around me tighter. "Troy, leave me alone please,"
"Not a chance Gabi,"
He held me and I stopped fighting collapsing against his chest in tears. He kissed the top of my head and he held me. I trembled underneath of him and he kissed the top of my head repeatedly.
He didn't once think about letting go, his arms circling me in tight. He then picked me up and we went to his room. We lay down on his bed and he kissed my forehead. "I shouldn't have said what I said to you," Troy muttered quietly. "I don't always think of you leaving me. I can see it in your eyes that you aren't going to leave me but I do sometimes wonder what's going on in your head. What you are feeling and thinking." I took deep breaths trying to calm myself. "Like this, I want to be prepared for moments like this. When you just fall apart in front of me and I don't know why, I mean I kind of know why but its like it all bottles up and you just can't let it out."
His thumb traced a tear down my cheek and he wiped it away. "I love you Brie and I'm not going to hurt you. You have so many walls built up and I break so many down for them to all come back. I don't know why sets it up but its like we are playing hot and cold here. I know how difficult this can be right now. It seems easier to almost be apart but I don't want to be apart from you."
He kissed my temple softly, "I said the wrong things and I just need you to talk to me."
My chest ached with pain, regret of not talking to him. "I can't do anything right Troy," my voice broke and I could see his heart breaking in two. "I feel like anything I do for you hurts you more or I disappoint somebody else. I can't impress people enough to be remembered to be my dad's oldest child. I don't have my friends here and it's killing me on the inside because we barely get to talk since school got out and then you doubt me. You said you look at me and that you wonder when im going to walk out again and I feel like im just dragging you down. I am hurting you."
Troy frowned and he sat up, I curled up and buried my head into the pillows. "When did our relationship become this?" Troy asked, I shook my head and I blubbered something. Troy pulled my hand and then I was in his lap. "You shouldn't doubt yourself. So many people love you Gabi and the people that don't know that you are Alex's oldest kid, means that they don't know your dad. He never stops talking about you to anybody. Having your friends apart is hard, so hard, I have learned the hard way because my best friend was away from me." His hands ran down my arm and he kissed the top of my head. "And I love you. I don't think you should have to doubt that and I know you don't but you aren't hurting me. I promise. I worry about you though."
He paused, "I worry about you a lot because of this. Your walls hurt you, a lot. You finally begin to trust more and you shut down. This is something we have been battling long before we broke up. I wish I knew why you had these bolt locks on your trust. I know you have a lot in me, more than most people because you let me in on a lot and that's why I worry. I know what you think about and I wonder. I know you aren't leaving me again because I am not letting you leave me again and it's not up for debate. You are mine and nothing is going to change that. I promise."
I sat up and I looked Troy into the eyes. "Why are you so good to me? Most guys would have dumped me and moved on by now. I am such an emotional mess."
Troy laughed, "You are my emotional mess. I blame your rough childhood. You get used to one place and this summer you are going to be everywhere. Here to New Mexico, New York, and Key West? Maybe you need to stay in one place for most of the time."
My eyes looked into his, "I'm not saying you shouldn't do everything but don't you think it would be better to have just a stableness?"
I laid my head down on his shoulder and I closed my eyes. "Troy, I want to be with you." I whispered, "You are my home."
He breathed in the scent around me, he kissed the top of my head. "I'm not giving up on you Gabriella Montez, you are going to be mine forever. I'm that much in love with you."
"You never seem fail to amaze me."
Troy kissed my lips and he squeezed me to him. "Take a nap, relax okay? Are you going to come to the game tonight?" I nodded, "I think I need to stay with you."
"Don't doubt yourself Gabi, so many people care about you and if you ever need to talk, please, just tell me. If you don't want to talk to me, we can find somebody. You need to talk to somebody though."
I nodded, "Okay, can you lay with me? Please,"
"Of course." We climbed underneath of the blankets and he wrapped me up in his arms. I was home, right here and nothing could change that.
Will Gabi just ever trust Troy? Sigh. Did you guys miss me?! I hope you are all having a fantastic Easter, spend it with your family and Friends! Be thankful for the days you have!
Oh and guess what people! Tonight is the night! Major League Baseball IS BACK! Holllaaa! Tomorrow my boys in blue play, Let's go Royals! Big day in the US tomorrow! Baseball is BACK!
I love you all but no reviewer of the week! Next week though!
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