Hello! I have returned with a chapter, a short chapter, but nonetheless a chapter. I've been writing this story on my Google Drive and I just hit 100 pages! I know that's probably boring to everyone but I am EXCITED! Anyways, thanks for reading! And, if you enjoy the story, please review! I am very annoying and need validation.

Unbeknownst to the conductor of the train, there were two people sitting in his train in the fifth car.

They were both sitting with their backs pressed against wooden crates filled with plastic baskets of assorted dark berries.

However, the crates were now two plastic baskets short since the two assassins hidden in the train car were silently munching on the berries as a breakfast.

They were sitting close together, the sides of their legs touching as they ate from the baskets sat in their laps.

Beside them, sat the suitcase and the backpack, momentarily forgotten about since they were too immersed in their meal.

"Do you know where we're going?" James asked suddenly, turning to look at Gaz as she popped a blackberry into her mouth.
She gave a shrug, "Away from here. Besides, we can jump off at any time we want." She reasoned.

James stared at her once she said this, "Jump off?" He asked, looking a bit worried about her proposition.

"Yeah, haven't you ever jumped off a train before?" Gaz asked, surprised by his lack of experience.

James thought for a moment, "Not when I've been conscious."

Gaz narrowed her eyes at this, looking to James, "What do you mean 'been conscious'?" She asked curiously.

James gave a nonchalant shrug, "On missions, I always feel like I'm not entirely there."

Gaz's eyes widened at this comment, "Missions? You mean with Hydra?"

He nodded slightly, looking down at the basket of berries.

"Are you- Are you like that now?" She asked, hesitating on her words as she stared cautiously at the man beside her.

He lifted his gaze, staring straight ahead, "I don't think so. It's different, it always feels… hazy." He explained vaguely.

Gaz nodded, her lips now parted as she tried to think of what to say.

She remembered back to when the Command Major of Hydra had told her he had a mission for James.

It was silent for a few minutes as an internal battle was fought in Gaz's mind.

He has a right to know, She told herself firmly.

What if it sets him off? He'll kill me right here and right now, The other half of her argued.

Remember all of that "Doing good to balance the bad," lie you said right to his face? She asked herself.

She let out an involuntary sigh as her conscience screamed at her to do the right thing.

"They, um, they said they were going to give you a mission," Gaz admitted, watching as James snapped his head back up to look at her.

She froze, This is it, She told herself, I am definitely going to be murdered by an assassin who I just saved yesterday.

But, instead of lunging at her and choking her with his metal arm like she expected, he gave her a questioning look,

"Really?" He asked, an innocent curiosity on his face.

Gaz let out a sigh of relief once he spoke in his normal voice and she gave him a nod as confirmation.

"I don't feel any different." He said, his eyebrows scrunched together in confusion.

She didn't exactly know what to say, so instead she popped a blackberry into her mouth and waited for him to say something else.

Except, he didn't say anything. He stared blankly at the wall of the train car with a wounded expression.

Gaz let out a light sigh, realizing that she would have to say something to console the man beside her, "Maybe it's like what you said yesterday? The trigger?" She suggested, her voice attempting softness.

He took in a breath, shrugging once more, "Maybe. Whatever they did when they found me… It did something to my memories. I can barely remember anything that happened before they caught me. It's all just… shadows." He spoke slowly, choosing his words very carefully.

Sometime during his statement, he had looked away from her, no longer keeping eye contact.

Gaz spoke tentatively, not wanting to upset him, or worse, trigger him, "Shadows?"

He nodded when she repeated his words, "Yeah, shadows. I can only see the outlines, nothing more. Sometimes I feel like I can see more but it always… slips away." He explained weakly.

Gaz stared at him as he spoke, watching how his expression grew more and more confused. She felt bad for him. Even though she wasn't exactly sure what the feeling in the pit of her stomach was, she was sure that she felt bad for him.

"I've never had to deal with anything even remotely close to this and I'm not good at giving advice anyways so…" She trailed off, actually thinking hard about what she could say to somehow ease his pain.

"Um... Maybe you could focus on being who you are now instead of worrying about the memories?" Gaz suggested, feeling pleased with the advice she had come up with it.

James blinked, thinking it over.

"Well, I don't really know who I am now. I don't feel like a person, I feel like a-"

"Machine." Gaz interrupted, finally feeling as if she could relate to something he was saying.

He turned to her, meeting her eyes for the first time since the conversation began.

"Yeah…" He said slowly.

Gaz nodded with as much understanding as she could handle, "Yeah, they do that." She told him.

"How?" He asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
She hesitated for a moment, "Well, for officers it's different. They strip you of your name and most of your rights. You're not allowed to own much of anything, everything you have is Hydra assigned. They tell you what to do with your time and how you're supposed to think. If you even have just a sliver of an opinion you get punished for it. But, I know for you, it was a lot worse."

James listened to her intently as she spoke, his eyes watching hers with interest.

"Do you know who you are?" He asked simply.

She swallowed, her brow furrowing for only a moment before her face returned to its normal expression.

"I know I'm a killer. What I did back there, that's me." She shrugged.

James looked as if he didn't believe her, "That's not true. You killed them because you had to. I killed them too."

"I aimed for their lungs," Gaz admitted, her voice monotone.

"That's not-" James began, shaking his head defiantly.

"Listen to me! I killed those people and I was… happy about it. I aimed for their lungs because that's… the glass was in his lung. I murdered those people and I felt a rush. All that stuff I said about 'righting wrongs' that was bullshit! I've never righted a wrong in my life." Gaz erupted, anger suddenly flying out of her.

James waited for only a couple of minutes to allow Gaz to cool down before speaking again, "You risked your life to break me out of Hydra." He reminded her.

Gaz scoffed automatically, "I did that because I owed you a debt."

"No, you did it because you knew what they were doing was wrong and you wanted to-" He began, only to be interrupted by Gaz shouting at him again.
"Stop making excuses for me! I know who I am, I'm a trained assassin! I have been since I was 15 and I'm not going to stop anytime soon."

"Why are you so hellbent on making me believe you're a bad person?" James asked, ending her tirade by speaking over her angry voice.

"Because I am a bad person." She spoke, softer this time.

"You saved me. No matter what you've done in the past, you saved me. I don't care how many people you've killed, I've killed too. You got me out of that place and you did it because I saved you. I don't even remember saving you but you returned the favor anyways." He said seriously, looking at her with the most kindness and passion she had ever received.

Gaz no longer had any arguments to spew, she was too focused on the intense gaze of the blue-eyed man sitting next to her.

"I wish I was the person you think I am." She whispered to him, looking down to her lap and breaking the eye contact.
"You're away from them now," He said, no longer looking at her.
She didn't interrupt, this time, she allowed him to speak whatever was on his mind.
"You can find out who you were too before you were… involved with Hydra." He told her, not knowing how to phrase the ending of his sentence.

"The last time I wasn't involved with Hydra I was ten years old," Gaz informed him, twiddling her thumbs.

James gave another shrug, "I really don't remember anything about my past. I basically have a clean slate."

Gaz winced when he used the term 'clean slate' since it was the exact description the Command Major had used to defend the procedure they performed on James.
However, James didn't seem to notice her displeasure with the word.

"I don't think I'd be able to forget the things I've done," Gaz told him.

"Don't focus on the memories then, focus on being who you are." He repeated her earlier words with a small trace of a smile on his lips.

She turned to look at him after he had said the words and saw the traces of his own smirk, which caused her to truly smile for the first time in years.