"Shhhh, it's all right, you are safe. Just focus on your breathing, in and out….in and out."

Remus became aware of Sirius' familiar voice as he managed to take several deep gulps of air, grateful to feel his lungs expand after panicking because he couldn't draw a breath.

He could feel his sweaty nightshirt stick to his back and winced as he felt the coolness of Sirius' pyjama shirt, knowing his face had to be sweaty as well, but couldn't bring himself to shift away.

Inhaling deeply to catch the familiar scent of old parchment, the forest and more recently the smell of paint that always seemed to linger on Sirius now, he used it to help calm his racing heart further down. The scent was as comforting as it always was and he felt himself relax.

"Why are you always doing this?"

"Is that not what friends do? Help one another when upset or scared?" Sirius softly rubbed his back, uncaring of the sweaty shirt.

"Yeah," Remus swallowed.

"Would you like a hug?"

"What?" Choking on a laugh at the blunt question, Remus forced himself to pull back so that he could look up to Sirius.

"Would you like a hug?" the handsome dark-haired boy smiled so warmly that Remus could feel the last of his tension disappear. "I've learned that hugs are really helpful when one is upset or has had a nightmare."

"James taught you that?" He couldn't help but smile as Sirius nodded.

"He stayed with me after I had a nightmare before Christmas and embraced me. It was really helpful and since I noticed that it helps calm you down when I let you lean against me like this, I could give you a hug instead?"

Remus hadn't quite realised he had made it a habit to lean against Sirius when they met like this, but as his friend was still resting a hand on his shoulder he figured he didn't really mind.

"You don't have to," Remus felt the need to say, aware that James was not always very clear in his explanations and Sirius might feel obligated to offer.

"I wouldn't offer it if I didn't want to do so," he could almost feel Sirius roll his eyes and bit back a smile. "James already gave the whole 'don't do this with anyone you are not comfortable with and no means no' speech. You don't mind sitting like this, which I think counts as a semi-hug anyway, so would you like a proper one as I don't believe I would be uncomfortable giving you one?"

"I would like a hug very much," smiling as arms wrapped around his neck a little awkwardly, Remus simply leaned forward and loosely wrapped his own arms around Sirius' thin waist in return.

"I am not made of glass, you know?"

Tightening his hold a little at the breathy laughter, Remus rested his forehead against Sirius' shoulder and let the slow steadiness of the other's heartbeat take away the last of his tension.

"Do you want to talk about it, or would you prefer if I just stayed with you in silence?" Sirius asked after several long moments had passed.

"No..I...wait, stay with me?" Confused, Remus pulled back so that he could look at his friend properly.

"Yes," Sirius simply nodded, cocking his head to the side as if he didn't follow what Remus couldn't understand about his proposal but Remus could only stare at him, not sure how someone so bloody brilliant could also be so utterly adorable and almost naive and for a moment he wasn't sure what to do.

If he was selfish, he had to admit that Sirius' presence always helped calm him down enough to fall back asleep again and the idea of having his friend close was tempting.

But he also felt that the other probably wasn't truly aware of just what he was offering and that conflicted him as he never wanted to take advantage of his friend in any way.

"You are offering to stay with me," he repeated.

"I always stay with you after you have had a nightmare, at least until you have fallen back to sleep," Sirius' confusion grew. "It is just a question whether you want me to remain quiet or not while I do so."

"Oh," realising that was completely true, a mixture of disappointment and relief washed over Remus that Sirius had not at all meant what he thought he had.

"Yes, it would be a comfort," he admitted, squashing down both feelings to simply be happy his friend was near.

Sirius raised his hand as Remus shifted and a whisper later the sheets and his nightclothes were both crispy clean and fresh again, like they had been freshly changed and he breathed out relieved as he laid back down.

Holding out a hand for Sirius to take, he frowned as he felt how icily cold it was and now that the nightmare had faded from his mind, he could feel the coolness in the air. Despite the cold months steadily being left behind, there was still a chill in the air and he immediately felt guilty as he knew how easily Sirius got cold.

"Oh sod it, come in here so that I can warm you up," putting his own insecurities about taking advantage aside, Remus tugged on his hand, surprised as Sirius resisted.

"No, I'm good."

Remus didn't miss how Sirius tensed at his words, unsure of what he had done wrong to warrant such a strong response, but didn't want to push him so simply nodded, loosening his grip though he didn't pull back completely. He hoped it would let Sirius know he wasn't going to force him to do something he clearly didn't want to.

"Take this, though," reaching over to grab the plaid James had dropped beside each bed the evening before, he awkwardly tried to pull it around Sirius before the dark-haired boy reached out to pull it around himself properly. "I don't want you to get a cold."

Seeing Sirius relax again, he knew he had made the right decision not to push and ensured the plaid was around him properly before laying back down again.

"Thank you, for staying with me," he murmured softly when Sirius blew out the candle, leaving them in darkness.

"You are welcome," Sirius paused. "Since you are still wide awake, can I ask you a question?"

"Any time," shifting so that he could look at his friend, the darkness not as dark for him as to most, Remus squeezed the other's hand.

"Why did you hesitate to say yes when you clearly wanted the comfort?"

"I...because I didn't want to take advantage of you," Remus admitted softly. "You haven't had much experience with personal contact and I am afraid of doing something that might make you uncomfortable."

"Do you not think I would let you know if I don't want something?" The simple curiosity in his voice made Remus sigh and he sat back up, turning on the small oil lamp so they could see each other.

"Normally, yes. But James is your main source of learning and his methods are a bit warped so you might not always completely understand his specific actions and think them normal. The way he interacts with you..." Remus hesitated.

"Is very different from how most people interact," a huff of a laugh left Sirius as he no doubt sensed Remus' surprise. "I am not stupid, Rem."

"So you do know that his interactions with you are not entirely normal?"

"Of course I do. If anyone other than James tried to interact with me the way he does, I would have kicked them in the groin a long time ago before hexing them," Sirius snorted.

"Then why do you let him do so? You know you are allowed to say no to something, right?" It was the only thing that had always bothered Remus about their interactions, never being quite sure Sirius was fully comfortable with James' tactile behaviour or only let him do what he wanted because he didn't want to upset him.

"Because his tactile nature is not something that bothers me. I draw comfort from his closeness and touches even if I don't always know how to respond to them," Sirius shifted. "It makes me happy that he interacts with me the way he does and I really couldn't care less if it is considered proper or not as long as we are both comfortable with it, which we are."

"He calls you his brother," Remus softly pointed out, not entirely sure if Sirius was feeling the same way towards James as their friend was towards him and he would hate for Sirius to get his heart broken because of misunderstood actions.

"He does," Sirius swallowed. "I don't come from a very loving home, I'm sure you have already noticed that."

Sensing he had to remain quiet, Remus only nodded and was rewarded as Sirius continued after a long moment.

"I grew up very sheltered and lonely. James...," a small smile crossed over Sirius' lips. "He makes me feel like I can actually do this friendship thing and not have to fear losing it all again because I mess up."

"You won't," Remus tried to reassure him. "We are here to stay."

"In my heart, I am beginning to learn that. But my mind is not as easily convinced," Sirius glanced at the bed occupying the subject of their conversation. "James makes me feel comfortable and accepted."

Remus wanted nothing more than to tell his friend that he was accepted by all of them, but there was something in Sirius' tone of voice that told Remus that was not what he truly meant.

"I feel like there is nothing that can hurt me as long as he's at my side, holding onto me."

"James makes you feel safe," Remus breathed out, beginning to understand what Sirius meant and feeling reassured by it. "Like a brother would."

"Yes," Sirius' gaze returned from James' sleeping form to look down at their hands. "Does that bother you?"

"No," Remus admitted honestly. "You have had a special connection since the moment you met, I've always known that. I'm just happy he makes you feel that way, that you found that in him."

"Can I ask you something in return as well?" Remus asked before he could lose his nerve again.

"That would only be fair."

"Why did you tense, when I told you to get into bed with me so you wouldn't be cold? Did you think I would hurt you?"

"No, I know you wouldn't hurt me," there was hesitation in his voice. "I feel comfortable with you as well, but..."

"Not that comfortable," Remus finished for him.

"I'm sorry."

"I'm not," squeezing his hand, Remus smiled.

"You are not mad at me?"

"Why would I be?" Remus frowned as Sirius looked down at their hands once more, a gesture he had long since learned meant the other wasn't sure he should speak his mind or not.

"Because I do sleep with James at times, but don't want to do so with you."

"What did I tell you about doing things you are not fully comfortable with?"

"That I shouldn't," Sirius softly answered. "But isn't it a little warped that I say yes to James, but no to you? You are my friend as well."

"And I am still your friend even though you say no to some things," Remus sighed. "I told you before to never do anything you are uncomfortable with and never to let anyone force you either. If you are not comfortable sleeping beside me, then that is something I should respect."

"But..."

"No buts," Remus cut him off. "If you are not comfortable with something, you tell me no and that's it. I don't ever want to do anything that might make you uncomfortable but you will need to tell me or I won't always realise."

"And if I one day change my mind and decide I am comfortable with it?"

"Then you change your mind, but no means no regardless of what you might do with others," Remus was fairly sure he was coming over a little forcefully, but he couldn't press that into his friend enough. "Understood?"

"Yes," Sirius cleared his throat as he shifted in his seat. "I understand. Just because I am comfortable doing something with one person does not automatically mean I am comfortable doing the same thing with someone else and they have to respect that or I am to hex them."

"And kick them in the groin," Remus added for good measure, smiling as Sirius squeezed his hand in agreement. "I'm surprised we didn't wake James up."

"You did wake me up, but I didn't feel like it was right to interrupt," James' soft voice drifted over. "Well spoken, by the way."

"I...thank you," flushing as he could just make out intensive brown eyes looking at him gratefully, Remus nodded slowly.

"You should listen to him," James called out to Sirius. "You might be like an encyclopaedia, but Remus is full of useful knowledge, too."

"Jeez, thanks," Remus rolled his eyes sarcastically. "I didn't mean to wake you, though."

"It happens," James shrugged, stretching a little. "You didn't cast a Silencing Charm before you had your midnight conversation."

"You know the Silencing Charm?"

"Really? You are still surprised by the things we know?" James teased.

"You would think I am used by now to you two defying all logic," snorting at his own surprise, Remus let himself fall back onto his bed, smiling up to Sirius.

"Not all logic, we are just a little more advanced than the average first year because we have little trouble understanding magic," he shrugged.

"I'd dare say you are the best students of our year, without even trying. Even History of Magic doesn't slow you down," Remus remembered being unable to stay awake in that class until he had noticed his two friends were calmly working on other school work and they had advised him to just tune Professor Binns out and read the book later.

Their advice both allowed him to stay awake during the class and make some progress in his other subjects at the same time.

"I still can't believe they haven't gotten rid of Binns years ago, the man is utterly useless as not even the Ravenclaws can stay awake in his class. I've learned more from the House-elves than I have from Binns so far and that is not even including the history lessons Peeves shares."

"I am sure Professor Dumbledore has his reasons for allowing Binns to teach," smiling as Sirius scoffed unconvinced.

The longer the dark-haired Black heir hung around them, the more Remus began to see their own behaviour influencing him, even beyond his speech pattern. He had become more animated over the months, surer of his place in their little group, delighting James with the prank ideas he brought forth.

"But we should get some sleep or we won't get any sleep at all any more," James yawned from his bed and nodding, Remus squeezed Sirius' hand.

"You should return to bed."

"Are you sure? I don't mind sitting here," Sirius' grey eyes seemed to be glowing in the soft light of the oil lamp, concern written in them.

"I'm sure, thank you," he smiled to show it truly was, it growing when it was returned and Sirius rose to his feet.

"Any time. And just so you know, if you ever do want to talk, about anything at all, I am here, all right? I am not going anywhere either."

Swallowing thickly, Remus nodded and tightened his hold briefly to let his friend know he had heard him before letting go.

Making himself comfortable after blowing out the light, he listened as James turned around in bed and Sirius slipped almost soundlessly into bed.

"Night," both dark-haired boys called out in unison, making him smile despite the heavy feeling settling in his stomach.

"Night," he managed to bring out as Sirius' words rang through his mind.

But he didn't think he could ever tell his friend just what his nightmares were about, not without losing this amazing friendship that was growing between them.

After all, how could he ever tell Sirius that he was terrified that he would either attack one of his friends one day or they would shun him once they discovered what he truly was, and that both scenarios where what fuelled his nightmares?

He forcefully pushed those thoughts to the back of his mind, as far as they would go as he shifted to get more comfortable and managed to drift back to sleep by thinking of his friends' friendship; their mental presence keeping his darker thoughts at bay for now.