~*Anyeong! I'm back with another chapter hehe. I'm so happy I had the day off so I could do this for you lovelies~ I kept getting distracted by Vine and Youtube cuz gosh they are so addicting :I Your guys putting up with me is awesome. You guys are too cute honestly haha. Anyway thank you Snipperita for your review! I realized not many people would get the whole shirt under the pillow thing but a few chapters ago Allen took Lavi's shirt off in his sleep and didn't have a chance to give it back. Plus where I'm from everyone lives so far apart that we often keep things from the person we are dating cuz it smells like em haha. I got the idea from a friend who took her boyfriend's shirt with us on a music trip to Missouri XD Thank you AllenFan! It means a lot when I get such nice reviews. Thank you Bloodthirstysoul! You're awesome tooooo! Thanks Laven! First: I love that you loved the last chapter haha. Second: Thank you haha. Third: Awww thank you~ You're a sweet heart too and waayyy awesomer haha. Fourth: Haha yay! Fifth: Aww tell her I say thank you as well~ Sixth: You be happy too! Seventh: HUGS ALL AROUND! Eighth: X3 Haha well that sure was fun XD Anyway have fun! I do not own because if I did it would honsetly be centered around Allen and Lavi forevers. *Rereads everything I just wrote on this* Damn I say "haha" a lot :/ I need to fix that XP *~
I cuddled with Allen in bed until he finally slipped into unconsciousness. I carefully untangled myself from him and tucked him into bed. He instantly cuddled up to the blankets and pulled them around his face. When I was sure he wasn't going to wake up I snuck out of the room.
"Keep an eye on him please? Don't restrain him unless absolutely needed. We don't want him to hurt himself further." The finder nodded nervously and took a seat by the glass. I made sure he was up to date on what to do and quickly migrated my way towards Lavi's room. I pushed open the door to find him taking up the space on his bed and reading. His head shot up quickly at the sound of the squeaky door.
"Lena! What are you doing-!" I held my hands up in a placating gesture to hopefully calm him down.
"Don't worry I didn't leave him alone. I made a finder sit outside and keep an eye on him. I'm responsible you know Lavi!" I stuck my tongue out at him and made him laugh.
"I know Lena, I just got nervous." Lavi slid over on the bed and offered me a place to sit.
"Why thank you. Allen told me what happened Lavi." He visibly stiffened but turned to face me.
"That's no surprise. It was pretty rough but he needed to get it off his chest. I'm kinda glad he yelled at me. I have a better idea of how he feels now. The only reason I left was because I didn't want to aggravate him further." He closed his book and rolled onto his back so he could face me.
"I don't think that is the only reason Lavi. I know you too well for you to be able to lie to me so easily." He softly chuckled and ran a hand over his face.
"Yeah I guess you're right. I underestimate you too much sometimes." I nodded and put a hand onto his.
"Allen told me something interesting." Lavi visibly paled and stayed silent. "He said you make him angry and confused." He frowned and nodded in agreement.
"Pretty much sums up our entire relationship at the moment." He chuckled lightly. "Exact on actually." I slapped him lightly on the hand.
"You didn't let me finish Lavi…he said he loves you." Lavi instantly stiffened and looked for a hidden lie in my eyes. I stared at him with complete truth shining in my eyes.
"Are you serious? He's the one who yelled at me to get out." The indecisiveness shone brightly in his features.
"One hundred percent Lavi. He's upset with you but there's more to it than just you. When you rejected him all of his memories of pain he felt hit him like a wall. It's true you pushed him towards his new addiction but he really did it because he felt overwhelmed. What would you have done if an entire lifetime of pain washed over you at once?" Lavi stared at me with utter shock.
"Really…I need to go fix this." He quickly got off the bed and was about to run before I grabbed his hand.
"Whoa, whoa Lavi! Not so fast!" I pulled back quickly causing him to fall back on the bed. "Allen is still unbelievably pissed at you. He cried himself to sleep after conveying all his feelings to me. I think you need to figure out something to do to gain back his trust." He nodded and sat quietly while we both thought. Suddenly he spoke up so quietly I almost missed it.
"What if I kissed him?" I looked into his eye to see he was completely serious.
"Why would you want to do that Lavi? You're the one who rejected him the last time. That would just be leading him on and it's not right to Allen." Allen's feelings are the most important thing right now. I am NOT going to let Lavi ruin everything Allen has.
"Well…I've been feeling something for Allen for quite some time now as I told you last time…but it's gotten a lot stronger. I think I love him Lenalee." I sighed sadly and began to stroke his hair.
"Then why did you reject him Lavi? You're not making any sense." He sighed and held his head in his hands.
"I know but I was nervous. It was so sudden and unexpected I just froze. I had no idea what to do and wasn't completely sure of myself yet. Plus who wouldn't be shocked at Allen making the first move. I seriously would not have expected that in a million years." I laughed slightly and slung an arm over his shoulder.
"I see what you mean now that you explained yourself. I think you should tell Allen that. It might do you some good ya know? If I were you I would also do your previous idea. Get on his good graces first though okay?" He nodded and pulled me into a full hug.
"Thank you so much Lenalee! If I didn't know better I'd say you are our guardian angel or perhaps Cupid." I broke into a big grin and laughed along with him. The sudden brightness in his eyes was a beautiful sight. Things would definitely work out from here.
"No problem, now get going! You're sleeping beauty awaits you." He laughed and quickly ran out of the room. I chuckled and followed him out the door. I have a good feeling about this.
~*LAVI'S POV*~
Before making my way to Allen's room I decided to make a quick run to Jerry. I figured I'd get Allen a present and if anyone knew where to get what I wanted it was Jerry. Upon arrival he quickly directed me to the place of my desires.
Bright sunlight greeted me as I stepped off the path into a field. Bright colors emanated from the fragile flowers that seemed to wave hello to me in the wind. The sight was beautiful, almost as much as Allen. I began wandering around picking the best flowers for the best person in the world. I grabbed handful after handful trying to pick the brightest and most beautiful flowers. I finally settled on my rainbow bouquet and made my way back towards the Order.
I walked in and began jogging mechanically down the hallway almost as if on autopilot. I didn't even have to look because of the familiarity and the countless times I had wandered this way out of nervousness. Allen didn't know this but ever since I began avoiding him I'd sometimes sneak down this hallway. I did it multiple times but most times I would stop myself before I would get into view. One time I dared to go far enough. At the time Allen was laying in his bed staring my direction with a blank look on his face. Tears streamed down his cheeks but he didn't seem to notice me. This was the night that I had left him and I came to check on him only to find an empty shell. I remember contemplating going in there to check on him or not but I just couldn't bring myself to. I watched until he rolled over, shielding himself from my view.
The metallic hiss of the door snapped me out of my thoughts and I brought my attention to Allen staring at his ceiling with a pensive look on his face. He didn't seem to hear the door so I tightened my hold on the flowers and opened my mouth.
"Hey Allen, I wanted to apologize." He looked over at me curiously and immediately zeroed in on the flowers in my hand. At the sound of my voice a hint of rage flashed through his eyes but the sight of the flowers caused it to disintegrate.
"Are those for me?" I nodded and rubbed the back of my head sheepishly. He smiled lightly and looked at me with sad eyes. "You can come closer." I nervously walked up to the bed and sat down in the chair beside it.
"I'm sorry for hurting you Allen. I shouldn't of reacted the way I did. Lenalee explained to me why you did all this and I honestly can't believe I was stupid enough to not realize that. It's so painfully obvious that all your memories of pain would come back. I'm really sorry." I held the flowers out and smiled as he took the bouquet from me. He gently twirled a petal in between his fingers and turned to face me with a small smile.
"I'm sorry too Lavi…I overreacted. No matter how mad I am I can't be mad at you for long…The flowers are really pretty by the way." He laughed and pulled them up to his face to smell.
"I'm glad you like em. Jerry told me where to go to get the best flowers. He was completely right too. When you're better I should take you there so you can see it for yourself. It was the most beautiful flower field I've seen in a long time." He nodded his head and set the flower bouquet on the night stand. He flopped his head back onto the pillow lazily and began rubbing his left arm.
"I'd really like that. Thanks for this Lavi." He turned his head and smiled an ear-to-ear smile at me. I smiled back but continued to let my gaze drag to the arm he was rubbing.
"Does your arm hurt Allen? I can get you some pain medication if you'd like." He shook his head and stopped rubbing his arm.
"No thanks, the bandages just feel funny. Don't worry about it." He flashed me a blinding smile but I knew better than to believe Allen when he denied something. I decided to watch him carefully.
"Okay well someone else wanted to visit you. He's been worried sick." I reached into my pants pocket and pulled out a golden ball that I didn't originally invite with me. The little monster snuck into my pants at some point in the day knowing I'd see Allen eventually. He quickly began uncurling his wings and flung himself at Allen.
"Tim!" A smile erupted on Allen's face and he hugged Tim to his cheek. The little golem jumped around in Allen's hands happily at seeing his master. After a minute of hesitation I crawled onto the bed and laid beside Allen. He didn't object and even let me play with Timcanpy's golden wing. When Tim ditched Allen to chew at my hair I noticed Allen began tapping his fingers on the bed. His face became scrunched up in a determined expression.
"Okay seriously Allen, what's up with all this rubbing and tapping?" He looked over and smiled sheepishly at me.
"Will you tell on me?" I shook my head and started feeling wary about his next words. Nervousness bubbled up in my chest at what was to come. He seemed to read my mind and quickly cleared things up. "I didn't do anything else. I just am kinda feeling withdrawals." He shifted nervously and looked into my eye. Realization hit me like a brick.
"Ohhhhh I get it now. You had me nervous there for a second Allen. Care to explain how big of withdrawals? I can help you if I understand." He nodded and began.
"I feel itchy all over and I can't keep my fingers from shaking. All I can think about is that blade and the feeling. I've even been contemplating between giving myself paper cuts but I know Lenalee would be upset with me if I tried. I promised her I'd quit." I nodded in understanding and stuck a hand into my pocket. I pulled out a red marker and handed it to him. Confusion lit up his face.
"I read somewhere that if you feel the need to cut then draw with a red marker where you feel the urge. You'll eventually be able to resist it." He made a sound of understanding and uncapped the red marker. The horrible stench filled the air. I watched silently as he traced horizontal lines across the rest of his left arm that was untouched.
"I can't see it." He scrunched up his face in annoyance and lifted his shirt. Small red lines appeared on his muscular stomach as he continued to trace. The lines got longer and longer until they were spreading across the mass of his stomach from side to side. I tore my gaze away from his hand to look into his eyes. They were trained on the marker tensely.
"You weren't kidding when you said you felt withdrawals. Will I have to take the books?" Allen jumped and looked at me as if he forgot my presence.
"Yeah…that'd probably be a good idea." He shakily put the cap back on the marker and set it on the table. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes.
"You okay Allen?" It would be an understatement to say I wasn't more than a little nervous. Allen's condition will be harder to treat, especially with all the memories popping up.
"Yeah I just needed to get a hold of myself. I'm good, thank you." He opened his eyes and smiled brightly. "I think that method will help me out a lot."
"I'm glad to hear that. You can keep that marker okay." He nodded and flashed me another brilliant smile. Without warning a hand slipped into mine and Allen became serious.
"I wanted to say that I'm sorry for pushing myself onto you. I forgot to think about your feelings. It completely slipped my mind that you wouldn't feel the same as me. I guess my head was a little clouded by all the special care you were giving me." Allen's' face radiated nervousness. His eyes were so sad but determined at the same time.
"Actually Allen I wanted to talk to you about that." Allen's head tilted up curiously and I almost lost it right there. He was so adorable I almost couldn't keep myself calm enough to speak.
"Okay don't be shy. I'll answer any question you'd like." I nodded and swallowed nervously.
"Okay well…I don't know how to say this…Um…" Allen began rubbing my hand encouragingly with his thumb. I took a deep breath and made a split second decision.
"Screw it, close your eyes."
