Chapter 12

Nekezowa

I'm proud of Seiko. I really am. She has truly proven herself. Belzenef and I are very pleased with her, however I'm not sure how this story of hers will end. Perhaps a happy ending? I would much rather prefer something darker, but then again, I'm not quite sure what love is. Either way, I wish her the best of luck. Now that I think about it, perhaps I should have performed a healing ritual for her…

Hunny

Things just aren't the same without Takara around. Ever since Kaoru told me what happened, and then I asked Misa, I don't know if I'm mad at Takara or sad. I miss eating cake with her. It doesn't matter what she was planning to do in my opinion, because she was a good friend and loved Kaoru. I hope she comes back, I promise I won't be mad at her!

Mori

What Takara did was wrong. But she realized her error. Mitskuni misses her. The entire club seems almost empty without her around anymore. It's strange to not have her try and talk to me every day now. I wonder how she's doing.

Tamaki

I-I don't know what to say. I would have never thought that Takara would do such a thing. But she has become such a close friend, a family member. I want to see her, to talk to her, to try and understand, but Misa keeps snapping at me whenever I mention her. Our guests have certainly noticed, and I've had to politely ask a few of them to leave due to the lies they were spreading about her. No matter what she did, Takara is still my daughter, and as a daddy, I want to do whatever I can to help her! But Misa won't let me… Something about being too dramatic…

Haruhi

I don't think what Takara did was wrong. She wanted revenge, and that was only fair. I can tell she really cared about Kaoru though, and that Kaoru misses her. Hikaru is moody now, and practically growls whenever someone mentions her name. It's rather childish, actually.

Dear mother in heaven, can you see this right now? One of my friends is in pain, and I'm not sure what to do. Misa insists that she just needs rest. I just hope that Takara comes back.

Kyouya

Fewer customers are coming due to Takara's disappearance. Her sister keeps coming, though. When I asked her why, she simply stated that Takara always asks her how everyone is doing. I seem to be spending more and more time with her, and I'm not quite sure why I keep wanting to…

Takara was wrong. However, without her, our profits are exceptionally lower. I'm a bit worried that at this rate, we'll soon be back to square one. I wish her well.

Misa

I want to punch Kaoru's lights out. I honestly do. Doesn't he see what he's doing to my sister? She calls him everyday, walks to his house every afternoon to personally talk to him, and all she gets are an answering machine and a maid slamming a door in her face.

She doesn't want to eat or drink, and she is almost always in her bed.

You want to know something, Kaoru? She still wears that locket you gave her. She still refuses to blame you at all. And all you can do is ignore her, pretend she never existed. Fine, ignore her. But the second I know she'll forgive me if I do, I'll make you wish you had just listened.

Hikaru

I hate Takara. She broke my twin's heart, and now he just mopes around, depressed. He has better things to do than sulk on a girl who betrayed him like that.

We never let anyone into our world. To have Takara stab us like that is something I could never forgive her for. Kaoru cared about her. He really loved her. All she wanted was revenge.

You happy now, Takara? My twin is miserable thanks to you. Congrats, you got what you wanted.

To add insult to injury, everyone at the club misses you. Everyone but me… mostly…

Kaoru

I love her.

I hate her.

I love her.

I hate her.

…I can't go on like this. No matter how many times I tell myself I hate her; no matter how many times I ignore her calls; or refuse to see her, I just can't bring myself to forget about her.

All the little things she did every day are gone. It's like a part of me is missing, like she took it with her.

I don't have much of an appetite anymore, and I can't even perform for the customers at the Host Club. Remember, Takara, when Hikaru and I decided to make you a part of our act? You were annoyed and fought back, and I couldn't help but think I was the luckiest guy in the world.

There I go again, thinking about her. It kills me to know what she did. But then again, she didn't go through with it after all. I just don't know what to think anymore.

I still remember her telling me that she loved me, and that it was true. How can I know that? A part of me wants to believe her, to let her back in, but another part and Hikaru are telling me to shut her out, that as long as I keep her away, I can't get hurt again.

She doesn't come to school anymore, although she always comes to try and talk to me everyday at our house. I never see a limo with her through the window. Does she really walk all that way, even when it rains or is that windy?

I wonder how she's doing. I want to see her again. But I'm afraid the second I do, I'll just get hurt.

Takara

I can't play the viola.

I can't write.

I can't eat.

I can't sleep.

I can hardly breathe.

But I can cry.

It's like the second I pushed Kaoru away, I pushed life aside. All I can do is lie in bed and cry over him, like the pathetic little girl I know I am.

It's not just Kaoru that I miss, either. The entire Host Club is out of my life. I ask Misa everyday about them, and she tries to get me to eat before she finally spills.

I hear Haruhi and Hikaru are now officially a couple, and that Haruhi asks about me often. Hikaru hates my guts, but I don't blame him.

Hunny doesn't eat as much cake, and hugs Usachan all the time. He asks about me a lot as well, and even Mori has told Misa to pass along a hello.

Tamaki wants to burst into my room and squeeze the life out of me in a hug, and blubbers on and on about me to Misa.

Kyouya is Kyouya, showing concern by telling Misa to tell me to get better and come back to play before their profits hit rock bottom. It's nice to know he's concerned.

Nekezowa asks about how I'm holding up, and even gave Misa a Belzenef puppet that she gave to me, for some better fortune. I keep it on my bedside table, and sometimes even put it on to try and make myself smile every once in a while.

Misa says she wants to hurt Kaoru, which is stupid because he didn't do anything. I can't blame him for anything. I don't feel the slightest bit of resent towards him, just pain at the memories.

I still remember him carrying me when I tripped, and getting this locket. I still haven't taken it off.

I try calling Kaoru, but he never picks up. Every day I walk to his house a few miles away, not bothering to take an umbrella if it's raining, just throwing on a jacket before I leave. I'm rather hopeful that he's over me, although I sometimes see a flicker of a curtain or a speck of ginger hair in a window when I go over.

I'm empty inside. The Host Club filled me up, cared for me. Now that they're gone, part of me has vanished, too.

I can't stay here anymore. I need to forget about Kaoru, like he's probably forgotten about me. The first step would probably be to get rid of this locket. And I knew just how to do it.

"Takara, I'm leaving for school," Misa called out, entering my room. She asked, concern and softness in her voice, "Do you want me to tell anything to anyone?"

I smiled up at her, muttering, "Thank Tamaki for the twentieth box of candy he sent me, and the card."

"Okay… You sure you'll be okay?"

"Fine."

"Are you sure you don't want to come to school?" I shook my head no, and watched as she mumbled a bye, leaving my room. I waited another ten minutes, then got up and got dressed, grabbing a backpack, and packing a change of clothes, plenty of money for a plane ticket and more, my phone, my viola, my notebook, and some pencils.

Before I left though, I made sure to seal the letter inside envelope and leave it on my bed in plain sight for Misa to find. I tried calling Kaoru one last time, and when he rejected it, I made my way out the door, the maids calling behind me to take an umbrella.

I didn't care. I just needed to get away. As soon as my feet hit the pavement, I broke out into a run, my sights set for the subway.

I'm leaving all the memories behind. Or at least, I'm trying to.


Disclaimer: Whatever.

Okay, I lied, the last two chapters should be the longer ones.

Writing zen is holding up. Wrote this in about half an hour. Gosh, the next chapter is the second to last.

Just a little perspective from everybody. Thought you guys might like it. I would say it's been a week or two since the Autumn Ball.

Read and enjoy!