Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.


Chapter 12

Onyx eyes stare at the ceiling above him. The owner is laying down. It is dark in the room.

It has been a week since he found out that his little brother took her to the place she could possibly die.

How long has it been since he last heard her voice? Last seen her? Last touched her?

He holds back a sigh.

Another sleepless night. How long has it been since he's had a good night's sleep?

As long as it has been since Sakura hasn't been by his side.

His head turns to the right and looks at the figure sharing the bed with him. Hana. His best friend's girl. Correction. His dead best friend's almost girl. The person closest to a best friend to him nowadays.

The dynamics of their relationship changed a while ago. Not just with him being her fake boyfriend. Her feelings for him had changed a while back. She wished to never fall for Itachi, but with the time they spent together, it was inevitable. She had confessed to him a while back too, but she had also understood that Sakura is probably the only female he'd ever have feelings for. He briefly wonders if he would be by Sakura's side even if Hana hadn't asked him to be her fake boyfriend/fiancée.

After all, he had left Sakura when she needed him most.

Even if Hana breaks off the engagement and whatever, would he be by Sakura's side then? Would she take him back? A vice-like grip takes over his lungs… or is it his heart? He's scared. He's scared that Sakura will not forgive him. He's scared that Sakura will move on. Even though he is the one who left her in the first place, he's borderline terrified of the thought of her moving on.

After all, he never gave her a reason to stay attached to him. No guarantees. No hope. He left her when she needed him. He left her when she was at her weakest. He left her. It would make sense if she moves on. He wouldn't blame her. The only one he can blame is himself.

Itachi gets up from the bed, making sure to not wake up Hana. What Sasuke saw the other day was just an accident. Hana had accidently fallen into the pond in the morning and Itachi tried to pull her back up, but as a joke, she had dragged him down. They simply were in the same room after showering.

He exits the bedroom and walks across the hallway to another door. Entering the kitchen, he brews himself some tea. Afterwards, he idly sits at the dining table next to the window. He stares out the window. The stars cannot be seen. Barely anything can be seen. His mind roams. Reminisces to his times with Sakura.

"What're you reading?" she asks. Itachi doesn't have to look up to know that there is a smile on her face. The girl is always smiling. It's something that strikes him as weird. After all, she is a shinobi. How is it possible that she can keep being so darn happy when she has seen death so often?

"A book," he responds.

She scoffs. "I can see that."

"Then why ask?"

"I want to know which book. Any good? Is it interesting?"

"Not really."

"Then why can't you take your eyes off it?"

"Nothing better to do."

"Well, guess what I found?"

"What?"

"Look up and you'll see." Itachi looks up. He was right. She is smiling as usual. His heart skips a beat unwillingly. Realizing that he has been staring at her face for a little too long and she had actually wanted him to see what was in her hands, he tears his eyes away from her face and to her hands.

A shogi board.

"I thought we could kill some time through this."

How many years has it been since he played?

"Is that okay?" The smile on her face vanishes. She sounds caring. So caring.

How many years has it been since someone cared about him? Not over his death like Kisame sometimes did, but over something trivial such as if he would like to play shogi? He couldn't remember. Maybe it was when he was 12. Maybe it was even before that. After all, his mother cared for him, but mainly over whether or not he was alive by the time he was 12. Especially since she knew that Itachi already knew how to take care of himself.

Itachi closes the book in his hands. "Let's play." He looks back up at her.

She is smiling again.

And it warms his frozen heart.

Itachi wonders if that was the moment he fell for her. Or maybe it was even before then. It might have even started when he first met the girl. The sheer determination she harbored. She swore to heal him despite knowing that he would try to kill her. Thinking over it again, he isn't sure if there is just too much kindness in Sakura's heart or if there is just too much empty space in her brain.

He then is reminded of the first time they played shogi.

She beat him.

If anything, there is no empty space in her brain.

"Can't sleep?" Had he been so engrossed in his memories that he overlooked the fact that someone entered the room? He doesn't have to look up to know that it is Suigetsu.

"Aa." He pauses. "Tea?"

"I can get it myself."

"Hm." Suigetsu is pouring himself some tea.

"Let me guess, you're worried about Sasuke and Mana - I mean Sakura."

"Hm."

"She means a lot to you, doesn't she?" He takes a seat diagonally across the table from Itachi.

Itachi doesn't answer him.

"I used to like her. Sorta."

He still doesn't respond.

"You don't want to talk about it?"

"No."

"Okay."

The two sit in silence, both of them staring out the window, waiting for the sunrise. But while Suigetsu waits for morning so that he can continue chasing the Hyuuga heiress around, Itachi waits for morning, waits for night, and repeat. He waits for Sakura and Sasuke to return.

He waits so he can see Sakura again.

Even if she can't see him.

X

He all but jumps up. She's screaming, he registers as sleep is thrown out of his mind.

"Stop it!"

"Help!"

"Help me!"

"Someone help, please!"

He rushes towards her. "Sakura." Unsure of what to do, he wraps his arms around her and brings her to him, hugging her tight.

She is thrashing about.

"Sakura!"

"Stop it! Stop!"

"Sakura, wake up. You're safe."

"Don't touch me! Stop! Save me!" Sasuke lets go of her, and instead cups her face.

"Sakura!" He is louder.

Sakura's eyes snap open.

Tears are running down her face.

"Sasuke-kun…" Her voice is barely a whisper. He sighs in relief, lowering his forehead to hers. He closes his eyes. She stares up at him. The tear tracks on her face are still wet. The sweat on her head doesn't faze him at all.

"I'm sorry," she whispers.

"Is this the first time?" he asks. His voice is soft.

It takes her a few seconds to discern what he is asking. "No. It's not."

"How…many?"

"Only a handful."

"Have I ever been around?"

"There was a time when Ino found me, but when I woke up, you, Sai and Naruto were there. I was in the hospital…" Sasuke raises his head and opens his eyes. "And…that time I trashed the inn room."

"I remember."

"Oh."

"Do you know why…?"

"It's usually when I'm alone."

"I'm never leaving you alone again, then."

She doesn't answer him, evidently surprised.

"You're safe with me, you know that, right?" His voice is as aloof as ever, but she can see his emotions all over his face. She nods. A small smile appears on her face.

"Yes. I do. Sorry for scaring you."

He smirks a little. He reaches out a little and brushes her hair out of her face. Some of the hairs had stuck to her head due to the dampness. "Do you need anything right now?"

"No. I'm fine." He notices that her hands are still shaking a little. He takes her hands in his.

"Tell me if it's uncomfortable." Sakura nods a little. She doesn't respond to him, mainly because she feels very comfortable with him. It scares her. The fact that she's so comfortable around someone who isn't her bestbestbestbestbest friend or the current love of her life. Even if it is Sasuke, it is still frightening. What does this make her? Especially after being dumped by Itachi – but wait, they didn't even go out.

Still.

Going back to Sasuke or even thinking about it is not right.

This comfort, though? She isn't willing to give it up just yet.

She wants to be selfish.

Just this once.

"Thank you," she says.

A true smile shows on his face. He's as beautiful as ever. He's as strong as ever – as protective as ever.

Is it so wrong to want him to be by her side?

Is being selfish so wrong?

Sakura lets some fresh tears fall down her face as she pulls her hands out of Sasuke's and wraps her arms around him tightly. She feels, seconds later, as Sasuke's arms wrap around her, as if unsure.

Knowing that Sasuke isn't Kabuto…

Knowing that Sasuke wouldn't let anyone hurt her…

Knowing that he's here for her…It means all the world to her.

It changes things.

She's being swayed.

Is that so wrong?

X

"Okay, it is finished," says Temari, leaning back and stretching like a cat.

"Here," says Gaara, holding out the document towards Sasuke. Sasuke takes it and looks over the contents. Sakura is next to him. She leans over a little besides him so that she can see it. Sasuke considerately places it lower and a little closer to her so that she can read it better.

Haruno Sakura has been sentenced serve a minimum of five years with her chakra suppressed, but not sealed for healing purposes, by agreement of the villages she has harmed. She also has to complete 5000 hours of community service for whomever asks for it. However, with the pardon of some of the shinobi families involved, namely the Tairyo clan, whose son was one of the shinobi killed, along with the fact that she has done a great deal of help towards Sunagakure prior to the injustices she committed, her hours will be nullified.

Sabaku no Gaara

Fifth Kazekage of Sunagakure

Sakura looks up at the Kazekage and his family in surprise. They never said anything about the community service hours being nullified until now. Gaara has no expression. Temari, on the other hand, is smiling. It is warm. Sakura had expected them to be furious.

"Oh don't look so surprised, Sakura," says Temari, "It has been more than a year. Everyone's trying to move on. Having you serve time for it isn't going to bring anyone back. The harshest criticizer was the Tairyo family, but you saved their younger son, even without knowing that he was the younger son."

Sakura is speechless. Sasuke is smirking. Saving strangers' lives? Yeah, that sounds like Sakura.

"I-I…I don't know what to say," says Sakura.

"How about a thank you?" says Kankuro.

"Shut up, Kankuro, if anything, she wouldn't be thanking you," says Temari.

"Why not me?" asks Kankuro.

"Because she saved your life before. No thank you's necessary between you two," says Gaara. "Now, if you're done, you may leave. Take that with you to your Hokage."

"Understood," says Sakura.

"Also, please give this to Naruto," says Gaara. He holds out a scroll. Sakura nods and takes it. She knows well enough that Naruto and Gaara keep in touch. Normally the two send hawks, but since Sakura and Sasuke are here, why not? Sakura smiles a little, knowing that Naruto is well on his way to being Hokage.

"Thank you." She bows at a ninety degree angle – the epitome of respect.

And with that, Sasuke and Sakura finish their two week long escape. Sasuke was right. Going to Suna did help her a lot. The air around her feels cleaner. The weight on her shoulders is gone. The nagging feeling at the back of her mind disappeared. She feels better than she has in a long time.

Sasuke and Sakura fall in sync with each other as they walk back towards the rooms they were staying in. It is silent between them. Not an uncomfortable one. It's been a long two weeks. The days were always wrecked with nervousness and politics, but now, they are free.

"Thank you, Sasuke-kun."

"Hm?"

"For going through with this with me. For coming up with this. For helping me. For being here for me. The list goes on. You've been…just…great."

"You're welcome."

"If there's anything you want, you can just say so. I'll do anything you want."

"You have no chakra, remember? You can't do everything."

"Hey!"

"I'll tell you when I come up with something."

"Okay."

"I can't wait to get back."

To see Itachi? Sasuke doesn't dare to ask. It might hurt to hear the answer. "Naruto will be happy."

"Ino too." She lets out a small laugh. "Maybe we should have clearly told them where we were going."

"Gaara probably sent Naruto lots of messages."

"He probably swayed the votes too. I'll have to make it up to Naruto too."

"Just treat him to ramen."

"It's unhealthy for him."

A small smile graces his features.

"Even if you won't buy it for him, he'd buy it for himself. Make life easier for yourself."

"No. I'll think of something else."

A pause.

"What is the first thing you'll do when we get back?"

"I don't know yet. Probably go see Shishou, right?"

"After that, I mean."

Sakura knows what answer he is fishing for. It has been clear to her this past week that Sasuke doesn't like what she feels for Itachi. She isn't so sure why though. I mean, I chased after him for years…he can't possibly like me, right?

Sasuke takes his hand out of Sakura's. But wait, when did they start holding hands?

Sakura suddenly feels like she is missing something. Her hand suddenly feels cold. Alone. "I'm not going to go see him, if that's what you're wondering."

"Aa." He holds out his hand and she slips her hand back into his. He is turned away from her. She can't see that he is blushing.

So where does this leave us? Neither of them dare to ask.

Just like that, they walk hand-in-hand back to their room. Minutes later, the two leave the room and head back to Konoha with Sakura's smaller hand in Sasuke's protective one, still very unsure of how to describe their relationship.

X

Naruto looks out of the gate, awaiting his teammates' return. Konoha got word two days ago that the two left Suna, and since then, Naruto has been waiting at the gate whenever he can. When he spots the stark contrast between the two pink and black heads, he rushes out of the gate.

"Yo teme! Sakura-chan!" he shouts as he runs towards them.

He stops dead in his tracks when he realizes something.

His teammates are holding hands.

Without him.

"Hey, let me join!" He continues running towards them. On the other side of Sakura, he grabs her hand. "So how did it go?" Sakura smiles at him as Sasuke rolls his eyes.

"I'm alive, aren't I?" asks Sakura.

Naruto beams. "So how's Gaara?"

"He's good. I have a scroll for you," says Sakura.

"Oh, oh, give me," says Naruto. He lets go of her hand and holds out his hands. Sakura reaches into Sasuke's bag with her free hand and pulls out the scroll. Naruto takes it, but instead of reading it right now, he places it in his weapons pouch.

"You seem very excited to read it," says Sakura.

"Yeah, he tells me about some unclassified things he does as Kazekage," says Naruto, "I want to be ready." Sakura nods and smiles a little.

"Good for you, Naruto," says Sakura.

"So Gaara just let you go?" asks Naruto.

"No, my chakra has to be sealed for a minimum of five years," responds Sakura.

"Five years? That's going to take forever!" says Naruto.

Sakura shakes her head. "Nah, not really. They're letting me keep some of my chakra so that I can heal. It's not like I'll be completely useless. I just won't have a lot of chakra in my reserve."

"Besides, they already were lenient with her," says Sasuke.

Naruto shoots him a confused look.

"They nullified her 5000 hours of community service," says Sasuke.

"Oh," says Naruto, obviously unhappy.

"Sorry, Naruto," she says. Naruto looks confused. "For keeping us from being a team again." Registering her words and her apology, Naruto plasters a smile on his face.

"No, Sakura-chan," says Naruto, "We're still a team. Even if you can't fight for now."

"You can still spar with us," says Sasuke.

"Yeah, you've been gone for two years, you probably know lots!" says Naruto, "I can't wait to learn some." Sasuke shoots him a look that says 'Idiot, don't mention the two years.'

"Its fine, Sasuke-kun," says Sakura, "I'm not that scared anymore." She gives his hand a light squeeze. Naruto watches the interaction between the two. Something changed in Suna.

"You two…are you guys…together?" asks Naruto.

The two don't look surprised at the question.

"Yeah," says Sakura. Naruto stops in his steps. Sakura looks at him worriedly. Even Sasuke is surprised by his reaction. They expected Naruto to be okay with it.

...

...

...

...

"FINALLY!" Naruto finally shouts. He then rushes over to hug both his teammates at the same time. "I thought you'd never get together!"

X

He's back. They're back. The only words that run through Itachi's mind as he stares at his own brother. It is around 5 in the afternoon.

"Aniki," greets Sasuke. "I'm back." He decided that the first person he should see after Tsunade and Naruto is Itachi. Sakura decided that it is her parents, and then Ino. So they went their separate ways, but not without Sasuke dropping her off at her parents' home. They agreed to get together to eat in a bit.

"Aa." Itachi pauses. He is unsure of whether or not to continue, but decides to anyways. "Did it go well?"

"Aa." Itachi sits down across from Sasuke.

Silence.

"How is she?"

"Good."

Silence.

"How is Inuzuka?"

"Good."

"The wedding preparations are going well?"

"Aa."

"That's good."

Silence.

"Well, I'm going out for dinner with Naruto and Sakura."

"Hm."

Silence.

"Sakura's my girlfriend now."

A different kind of silence. A stunned one. Itachi looks up at his brother, evidently surprised. His eyes are slightly bigger and his lips are slightly apart. He definitely hadn't expected them to come back a couple. A tight grip encases around his heart and his lungs. It is suddenly harder to breathe. So much harder to breathe.

Say something, Itachi tells himself. Sasuke is looking at him expectantly, but Itachi doesn't have any kind of reaction besides surprise. Sasuke wants him to say something. After all, Itachi is his family and Sakura is his first girlfriend. Family is supposed to give their response to the first girlfriend, right?

"Hm," Itachi says, "That's…good." His voice is tighter.

"Aa," says Sasuke, "Well, I'm going to Ichiraku. See you later?"

Sasuke gets up.

"Aa."

Sasuke leaves the room, leaving Itachi alone. He sits at the table, staring out of the window at nothing. Minutes later, Hana walks in the room.

"Was that Sasuke I saw just now?" she asks. "He was leaving."

"Aa."

"So they're back? Sakura's back?"

"Aa."

"You're not going to go see her?"

Itachi doesn't answer. He was planning on going to see Sakura when she came back, but her new relationship status changes things. He can't do that to his brother.

"Itachi?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"She's Sasuke's."

She pauses. "What?"

"They're together."

"How…H-How is that…"

"I knew Sasuke had feelings for her."

"But…she…she likes you, doesn't she? How can she be in love with someone and be with someone else?" Itachi shoots her a look.

"I'm doing the same, am I not?"

Hana pauses. "I'm calling the engagement off."

"Your parents aren't going to understand."

"I'll make them understand. You'll lose her, Itachi. Go after her, right now. I'll go tell my parents the truth. I can't have you give her up."

"It's too late." I can't do that to Sasuke.

"No, it's not. If anything, Sasuke knows. He's smart. He knows that Sakura likes you. Go to her." Itachi doesn't move. Hana pulls him up by the arm. "Go!" She pushes him out the door. "Go!"

Itachi looks back at her worriedly, but takes steps forward anyways. He then looks forward. He knows that Hana is deeply hurt by this – by the fact that he can't get over Sakura, but she understands. It'd be too much for her to actually marry someone who doesn't love her anyways.

He follows Naruto's chakra signature to Ichiraku. Taking a deep breath outside the shop, he walks inside. He watches as Sasuke's table sits up straight to look at him. Sakura is seated next to Sasuke, with Ino on her other side. She isn't looking at Itachi, instead, she is looking down.

"Aniki," greets Sasuke.

"Sasuke," greets Itachi.

"Itachi-san," greets the rest of the people at the table – Ino, Shikamaru, Chouji, and Sai.

Itachi nods to them in acknowledgement, then, "Sakura, can we talk in private?"

Sakura looks up in surprise. She grabs onto Ino's hand instinctively. Ino pats Sakura's hand with her free one, encouraging her. She then gets up and lets Sakura slide out of the booth.

"Go talk with him," Ino whispers in her ear. She then gives Sakura a little, undetectable push towards the door. Sakura looks at Itachi. He nods and walks towards the door. She follows. Sasuke watches their backs, emotionless. He turns away when they disappear behind the door.

Itachi doesn't have to turn to make sure that she is following. He knows when she is around and when she isn't. Her presence changes the temperature, changes the mood - changes everything. After a few seconds of walking, they arrive at an alleyway. There is no one else there.

He turns around and looks at her. Her slightly dull green eyes are downcast. Her pink hair is messily plaited to the side of her face. She is biting her lower lip. She's nervous, but she looks as beautiful as ever. Just looking at her warms him. He doesn't mean to not say anything. He just doesn't know what to say. All his thoughts from before flew out of his mind when he saw her a minute ago. He can't remember what he was planning to say to her. He's looking at her face – at her eyes, but she isn't looking at him. She's trying to avoid it.

"Sakura," he says. She jumps a little at his voice. "Look at me." He watches her take a small breath and slowly look up at him. Her eyes are uncertain.

"Um, what…what do you want to talk about?" she asks. Her voice sounds forced.

He doesn't know how to word it. He doesn't know how to ask her if she still loves him. He doesn't know how to tell her that he still wants to be by her side. He just doesn't know, so he just asks, "How are you?"

"I'm…um…I'm good. How are you? How's Hana-san?"

"We broke up."

"Oh." She looks down again.

"That's all you have to say?"

"Well, what do you want me to say?"

He sighs. "Why are you with Sasuke?"

"What do you mean?"

"You don't love him."

"I do."

"As a friend."

Sakura doesn't respond. "He cares for me."

"Lots of people care for you."

"If you're thinking that this is my way of getting back at you, it's not."

"I never said that."

"You didn't need to."

He sighs again.

"This is pointless." She turns to leave. Panic rises in his chest again. He grabs her wrist.

"Let me explain."

"Explain what?"

"The engagement was fake."

Her eyes widen a little, but that's it. Seconds later, they're normal sized again. "So?"

"I never cared about Hana like that."

"Why are you telling me this?"

He doesn't respond. He doesn't need to. She knows why he's telling her these things. She shakes her head and pulls her arm out of his hand. "It doesn't change the fact that you left me when I needed you."

He knew it. He knew that she wouldn't forgive him for that.

"When I needed you most…you left me. I can't just…"

"I'm sorry, Sakura." She looks at him again, surprised at his apology.

"Sorry for what?"

"For leaving you."

"…Why did you do it?"

"I was scared."

"Of what?"

"Of hurting you."

"What do you mean?"

"You..." He isn't sure how to say this. "You were so…"

"Weak?"

"Yes." He changes his mind. "No, not weak."

"Then what?"

"You were so…"

"You were scared to take care of me," she concludes. "Am I right?"

"I'm not that guy, Sakura. I don't take care of people. The last time I did…was when Sasuke was a baby."

"What happens next time then? If I forgive you, what if…what if this all happens again? You'd leave me again, am I right? I can forgive you for leaving me. I understand that you were scared. I understand that you were scared that you didn't know how to take care of me and that you'd only make it harder for me, but…I can't just…go back." She swallows hard. "I can't just go back to how we were. Whatever we were together…we can't…Not anymore."

It's his turn to look down.

"I needed you…and you left me because of it," she pauses, "I'm sorry, Itachi." She turns to leave again. She takes a few steps.

"Sakura, please." She freezes.

"Forget about me," she says. Her voice is tight. "I'll forget about you. We should…We should forget that year ever happened. Please, Itachi."

"I can't." She turns to look at him. She almost stumbles back when she realizes that he is right in front of her. He leans in slowly. Sakura finds that she can't move. His gaze is so intense that all her thoughts vanish. But, just when she thought that he is going to kiss her, he steps to the side and walks past her. "Take care of Sasuke."

She doesn't turn around and watch him leave. After his footsteps are inaudible, she collapses to the ground. Tears flow out of her eyes as she stares at the ground. Despite not saying goodbye, he sounded so final. She knows that she'd see him again, but it just won't be the same.

She asked him to give up on her. That's just what he did. She shouldn't be crying, right? But she is. Because she still loves him. She loves him, but there is no way for her to be sure that he will not leave her again. She can't go through that pain again. Better to say goodbye now than to have him leave her again…right? She wipes her tears with the sleeve of the sweatshirt she's wearing. She then gets up. She pats her face a little on both sides. She clears her throat and brings a glowing hand to her eyes for a brief second.

She walks back to Ichiraku Ramen alone.

X

"It's time."