Augenblicke - The Twilight Twenty-Five
thetwilight25 dot com
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Prompt: #24
Pen Name: Tiramisue84
Pairing/Character(s): Bella
Rating: T
Word Count: 488
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Photo prompts can be found here:
thetwilight25 dot com/round-eight/prompts
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When I first stepped into the water, the sun stood high and proud in the sky. Time must have slipped past by me like so many things in my life, for all that's now left of the formerly mighty orb is a thin line sinking into the sea.
The water is even colder than the evening air, and my body reacts accordingly; goosebumps erupt all over as I'm being caressed by the soft push of the waves crashing against my knee caps and the chilled touch of the breeze playing along my bare arms. I don't mind. On the contrary, I welcome them both. It's nice to feel...something.
It's been so long since I've let another person come close enough—since someone wanted to come that close—that I can't help but imagine the touches to be real; that they are induced by someone who cares, instead of two elements of nature who take me as nothing more than an obstacle to be passed.
It's been so long. The loneliness—once a fleeting occurrence invading my mind and soul—has become a throbbing ache I carry within me constantly. I'm lonely and aching, desperate for something I don't know how to find. And what I'm aching for is more than my father's awkward hugs and pats on the back or my mom's airy kisses. What I'm longing for—what I have been longing for ever since I was a teenage girl—is this crazy-stupid, all-consuming, silly-wild type of love that leaves you breathless. The kind that takes as much as it gives, filled with fluttering tummies and fiery passion.
"Don't ever settle for less than you deserve, my sweet girl," my mom used to say. "The right one will step into your life one day and whisk you off your feet. Just wait." And I did; waited, never settled, watched as friends and fellow classmates fell in out of love, observed the goofy smiles and tear-streaked faces.
High school and college passed, and I had my fair share of dates and kisses, covered a few bases, but never more. No guy I met felt right enough to take that step with, so I waited some more, convinced that my patience would be rewarded soon enough.
I was wrong.
I turned forty last week, and I'm still a virgin. Only, I'm not Steve Carell or the awkward protagonist in some romance novel that bumps into her prince charming right after declaring having given up on love. The kind I like to escape in and play pretend when the aching void I hide inside threatens to morph into a full-blown black hole, trying to suck me in.
I'm not starring in some Hollywood flick or fairy tale, though. It's the sad, pathetic reality of a girl that was promised too much, that had held her hopes too high, and ended up missing out.
Maybe I should have settled after all.
Just wanna say Bigblueboat made me do it! :) And thanks to her, this is actually readable! Go read her flashes, they are fantastic!
Also, I'm all for exclamation points today!
Thanks so much for reading and reviewing, you guys!
-Sue
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