Chapter 11

Send your wishes into the air

So someone listens, someone is there

And you won't know anything about it

Until you have to live without it

I'll keep you safe tonight, 'cause I am a warrior

And I'll fight, I'll fight, I'll fight.

The peace lasted for two more days, before the calm of the afternoon was abruptly shattered as Bruce suddenly shot through the door, collapsing to his knees and panting for breath, kicking the door closed behind him. Steve shot out of his seat to help him up, calling out to ask if he was ok. Thor and Loki unwound from their position on the sofa, Thor having convinced Loki to cuddle, pulling the tense frost giant into his arms and refusing to let go until Loki caved and relaxed against him.

Bruce's abrupt entrance returned all the tension that had drained from Loki's body, as he shot up and off the sofa, moving until he was kneeling beside Bruce with Steve, and placed a hand against the panting man's chest. The runes on his hand glowed, traveling up his arm, and Bruce's breathing eased slowly until he could speak again.

"Soldiers," was the first word he spoke, staring regretfully and fearful at Loki, before his gaze switched to Thor. "There are soldiers, Einherjar in the town, and they're heading here. They must have found out you were here." His look suddenly turned pained, frightened, "I swear, I didn't tell them, I wouldn't have-"

"We know," Thor cut in; having moved across as well, and having pulled a shell-shocked Loki back away from Bruce. "We know you wouldn't do that. But now, go find Tony, both of you, whilst we decide what plan of action we will take."

The two Midgardians looked at him, confused, but eventually acquiesced, leaving the room to seek out the mechanised inventor. Loki turned to face Thor slowly, his eyes wide and haunted.

"Plan of action?" he asked with a quivering voice he didn't even try to disguise. "Einherjar are about to descend on the house of your friends, and you talk of plans of actions?! What plan could there be? We cannot save them!"

"There must be a way," Thor tried to sooth him, smoothing a hand over black hair. "We will find a way. You are clever, Loki, and so are Bruce, Tony, and Steve as well. We will certainly find some way to escape this."

Rather than having the desired effect, however, Loki's face suddenly took on a strange quality, and he paused, licking his lip, before speaking, his voice low and deceptively even.

"What if…what if escaping is the problem?" Loki began slowly. "What if instead of running, we…we gave ourselves up?"

Thor stared at him, shocked, his hand falling away from Loki's head. Loki, who was normally so acutely turned to Thor's touch, seemed to barely notice the absence of his hand, and simply continued to stare up at him with big red eyes.

"…Loki, you cannot be serious," Thor finally spoke, tone incredulous. "We cannot give ourselves up to them, we can't! What have we been running for all this time only to stop now-"

"You don't even know why we're running!" Loki accused him angrily, finally finding his feet and standing. "What if...what if we're – you're doing the wrong thing by running? What if they are only trying to take you home?" he finally said, managing not to choke on his own words.

Thor froze, his arms hanging at his side. "I…don't understand…" he said slowly, confusion and an inkling of fear appearing in his eyes as he tried to understand Loki's words, his mind drawing up blank after blank as he failed to process the meaning behind the Frost Giant's question. There was a noise like a sob at the back of Loki's throat, and he pitched forward, arms wrapping tightly around Thor.

"We…we have already lived many, many lives," Loki began, haltingly. "We have been reborn over and over, meeting again and again, always drawn together. Always dying together."

Thor's gaze settled somewhere over Loki's shoulder, expression pinched and eyes wide as he tried to take in what the man was saying.

"Right at the beginning we were brothers," Loki finally worked up the nerve to speak the words, and suddenly Thor could feel nails digging into his back, through his clothing, "We were brothers together, princes of Asgard. We were gods, Thor!" Thor opened his mouth to protest; he was not a god, how could he have ever been, he was a son of no one, a midgardian, not a- "you can deny it all you want," Loki said quietly, destroying any response Thor had, "Gods know I do not want to believe it. But I have remembered, and these memories are not so easily lost once again."

"…Brothers?" Thor finally croaked out, from a throat run dry, "We…were brothers, Loki?"

"…not by blood," Loki admitted, and a hiss of relief escaped Thor's lips, until Loki continued, "but that did not matter. Even then, even as gods and raised as brothers we could not help but…gravitate towards each other. Despite everything, despite all that was before us, despite your duty to provide heirs as Crown Prince of Asgard-"

That truly did feel like a kick to Thor's gut. Sudden images splattered across his mind's eyes and he choked down a gasp –

Odin's face surfaced in his mind, smiling down at him, Frigga's hands gentle as they held him, Balder sparring with him –

Against his volition he was wrenched out of Loki's grip, hands flying up to his head, gripping at golden strands as his mind burned, reacting violently, viciously against the memories. There were no discernable events, no pinpoint accuracy, but sensations, feelings, echoes of once-felt half-memories. Thor wanted to cry out, wanted it to stop, until finally his mind caught hold of a final image.

A tall, slender man stood to his right, clothed in emerald green and shining gold, black hair slicked carefully back. The skin was too warm, too Asgard-fair, the eyes were blue and green like glittering bottle glass, but the features were the same. The grin, the tilt of the head, the standing was all the same.

Loki.

"I remember…" Thor finally spoke, looking back up, happy as his gaze focused on Loki's face, "I remember you, Loki." He half smiled at the pleasure of knowing Loki not once, but twice, but Loki's distraught gaze made him falter.

"And do you remember what we did Thor?" Loki's voice was tight, lips barely parting, "Do you remember what our actions lead to?"

Thor could not. His mind ached with the struggle, remembering and forgetting, the storm that he had never quite been aware of at the back of his mind, pushing prodding, leaking only a little. "I…no, Loki. I do not remember what our actions led to," Thor told him, "But I do…it's you, Loki. It's always been you. Don't you remember, when we first met in the woods, and I told you your strategies had always been the best? And- and in the market place, I remembered again, I saw green and gold, I saw you. Not anyone else," Thor assured him, fingers touching Loki's face, to trace black and gold, "I do not need godhood. I do not need a thousand lives. All I need, all I will ever need is you Loki."

Loki stared at him, seemingly unable to process Thor's words, unable to take them in. "How…can you always be so good to me," Loki finally whispered, a broken sound that made Thor grip him tighter, flinching slightly at the sensation of too cold tears dripping onto his hands. Loki didn't even see t be aware of his own tears, but s soon as he felt Thor brush at them he jerked backwards. "Why do you always do this?!" His tone was suddenly accusing, eyes narrowed at Thor, "Every time, in every life, why must you always be so stupid? Why must you always draw yourself to the one thing that means your doom?!"

"I don't…I don't understand," Thor struggled to hear Loki's words, to understand what the Jotun meant. Loki let out a cry of distress, a frustrated, hopeless noise,

"In every life Thor!" he cried, gripping his own shoulders with freezing fingers. "In every life, you are the only one who has always been able to make me feel loved, and wanted! No matter how many cycles we travel through, you are always there. Always ready to save me from myself and from their hatred." The sobs were coming harder now, and Loki backed a step away from Thor, only for the other to step forward, arms reaching out for the blue skinned man once again.

"And how do I repay you," Loki muttered, eyes squeezing shut as memories flashed across the back of his eyelids, "I give them the means to find you, and I cause your death. Whether intentional or not, Thor, I am what kills you. In every life I am the reason for your downfall. And I can't take it anymore!" he screamed out, the sobs being wrenched from his body now. "I love you Thor, more that I have ever loved anyone, and I wish for you to live forever. With or without me by your side." Loki confessed, voice dropping back down.

"But I love you too, Loki," Thor said softly, cupping Loki's chin. "Loki, you speak as if…as if all those life you forced me to end my own life rather than it being of my own volition. But I can't imagine, in a million lifetimes, being able to choose anything but staying by your side. Loki, I have never loved anyone before in the way I love you and I know, know with all my heart that I will never love another like I love you. So don't you dare blame yourself for something that was and always will be my own choice." Thor pressed their foreheads together, and winced at the feeling of tears running across his fingers from Loki's lowered lashes. "You see?" he said softly, moving down to kiss Loki on the lips before continuing, "I do not even have my memories and I know that to be true."

"For you to be wise, of all things, without your memories…" Loki hiccupped, a wobbly smile flickering into being on his face for a moment, before it vanished again, his face overtaken by seriousness. "You would give up your parents and the glittering halls of Asgard for someone like me?" he questioned softly.

"Yes, and I would do so a thousand times over. A hundred, a thousand, a million, as many as it takes to make you understand that there is nothing I would not do for you." Thor told him, pressing his thumb against Loki's cheek, tracing the golden lines as he did so, and making Loki shiver.

"Hey, so, what's this I hear about gua- oh, are we interrupting?"

Tony's voice was loud and abrasive, cutting through the conversation like one of his precious blowtorches cutting through a sheet of metal. Thor and Loki jerked apart, Loki scrubbing at his hastily turned face, blocking the sight of his cheeks.

"I'm sorry my friends," Thor spoke for them, and Loki was amazed by the steadiness of his voice, "we have brought danger to your home and put you in danger."

"It's your home too," Steve protested, but Thor raised a hand to stop him, "Never the less, we have brought danger here and we must leave in order to protect you. Please, there isn't much time."

Steve still looked unconvinced, and Loki didn't miss the look Steve and even Bruce shot in his direction as he turned back around to re-join the conversation. "You should at least take supplies," Steve said finally, "Bruce, Tony, help me pull something together?"

"Actually, you take Loki," Tony cut on his sharp eyes fixed on Thor, "I'd like to talk to Thor about something." Thor looked at him in surprise, but no one disputed his request. Loki followed Bruce and Steve through into the kitchen and Tony pulled Thor to the side, into his lab. He leant back against the desk and pinned Thor with a look. "What's happening Thor?"

Thor's gaze dropped, "I don't know what you mean."

"Yes you do. Before it was ok to hide here, now you're running."

"There are guards outside!" Thor protested, "We can't wait for them to invade your home!"

"No, you could lead them away and then return. The way you're talking it's as if you're never going to come back. Something's changed," Tony said firmly, moving forward to grip Thor by the arm, "before, you knew you were being chased but you didn't know why. Ever since Loki ran off and came back he's known, and now you do to. Don't try and deny it," he warned as Thor opened his mouth, "I know. You know why now." His gaze twisted slightly, concern and frustration in equal amounts spilling across his features, "What is it you've done that make them chase after you like this? Why can't you tell us?"

"I wish I could tell you," Thor told him, quietly, "but…although I may know, I do not understand it. I wish I did, and I wish I could tell you everything, but…" he trailed off, he didn't have the words to convey to Tony what he meant. Tony held his gaze, before breaking away and picking up something from his desk. He held it in his hand a moment, as if weighing it up before he turned back around and pressed it into Thor's fingers. "Tony?" Thor questioned, gazing down at the little device. It was a rough rectangle, engraved with Tony's somewhat crude imitation of the markings Steve had carved into his arm, the centre of which was a circle. Tony tapped the circle lightly,

"If you…end up needing some more help out there," he said slowly, "press that. It's a button, you'll have to press it quite hard…but if you do, help will come." Tony grinned at the stunned look on Thor's face, "What, you thought we'd abandon you because you're going on the run? We're practically accomplices now, secreting you away in this house. Villains unite!" he said dryly, lips quirked upwards, and Thor smiled.

"Thank you my friend," he said sincerely. Loki entered the room just as Thor had pulled Tony into a potentially bruising hug, and cleared his throat.

"Thor, the others want to speak with you. There are supplies by the door, only a much as we can carry but it should be enough to last," Loki told him, and Thor nodded, pulling away from Tony with a final squeeze on the man's shoulder.

"Well," Tony turned to Loki after Thor had left, "seems everyone wants a piece of Tony today. Planning to get your fill before we're parted forever?" he batted his eyelashes at Loki, who rolled his own red eyes in return.

"Hardly. Although I do need to ask a favour of you. I know it is not likely I will be able to repay you, but I ask that you will do it for me anyway."

Tony frowned in confusion, "What favour would that be? You're leaving now, how would any favour I perform for you in your absence be able to hep you? What do you want me to do?" Loki advanced on him, leaning close and causing the shorter man to lean back slightly.

"Research," Loki spoke softly, but swiftly. "You must do as much research as you can, whether we return or not you must find out everything. Norse Mythology. I tried to search myself earlier, but much of it appears to have been destroyed, or hidden." Tony opened his mouth to protest but Loki pressed a finger against them, silencing him, "You are clever, Tony Stark. You will succeed where even I have failed I am sure…Just promise me you will do this. Find out their plans. Find out why they want us." He pressed the scrap of paper into Tony's hands at last. "I tried to write down everything I remembered, but I can't piece together it all. Maybe, with you're help, next time we meet you will be able to save us both."

Loki removed his finger, shot Tony a rueful smile, before dashing out of the room and after Thor. Tony was left standing silently, staring down at the scrap of paper. What he had…remembered? What had Loki meant? How could he remember details of mythologies he himself had claimed were destroyed? He unfolded the paper, and his eyebrows shot up and the sight of the information scrawled across it, taking in many familiar names and not many familiar stories. Researching the hidden stories of their gods and rulers? Tony grinned. Well. He had always enjoyed poking his nose where it didn't belong.

Meanwhile, Bruce and Steve were fussing over Thor and the provisions, having managed to squeeze it down into just Thor's bag, the same he had been using when he and Loki first met, and were finishing just as Loki emerged from the back room, pulling his hood up, although he let it sit back on his head rather than let it obscure his entire face. Thor's axes were strapped to his belt once again, and Loki was struck by the familiarity.

"Ready?" he asked, and Thor nodded, gripping Loki's hand.

"Stay safe," Steve told them, seriously, "both of you." Loki felt the jump of surprise in his chest when Steve added those words, turning his gaze on the newcomer. Loki felt a second leap follow, this one of happiness. Steve trusted him. He could see it in the man's eyes, honest eyes like Thor's. Steve honestly cared for both of them, wished them both safety.

"Thank you," Loki told him, and meant it from the depth of his heart. "You too Bruce. Thank for everything you've done."

Steve nodded at him, and a small smile spread on his face, "You're welcome, Loki," he said, tugging both of them into a swift hug, slapping them on the backs. "Stay safe, ok?" he said finally, "don't let them get you."

"We'll do our best," Thor laughed, with humour he didn't really feel or believe.

With good reason, as it turned out, as their best didn't seem to get them very far. They had managed to sneak out of the back of the house, sneaking through a series of small alleys that Thor was quite certain weren't usually filed with this many shadows. The first Einherjar they ran into they managed to take out swiftly, Thor grabbing him by the mouth, slamming him into the wall and knocking him out. After that, their luck seemed to run out. They were forced to leave the safe, dark alleys as they ran, and it was not long until they were spotted by Einherjar, and swiftly became surrounded.

"What can we do?" Thor hissed, ending up back to back with Loki as they stared at the circle of Einherjar around them, "We cannot defeat all of them!"

No they could not. Loki could see that easily, there were far too many, Æsir men intermixed with Jotuns as they had opened into a large space, and provided, in retrospect, an easy place for them to be cornered. Loki was furious with himself, and if he was honest, scared. This wasn't like him. He wasn't usually this stupid, he should have had them layered in illusions, shadows, donned in cloaks and magic, not out in the streets, looking like themselves. He had done the same thing when he'd travelled to Angrboda and Sigyn's home. His stomach plummeted at the thought; was this situation his fault? Had he led the guards straight to them? He felt sick at the thought.

Thor's hands had been gripping Loki's hands, but his grip suddenly slipped, flying to grasp the axes strapped to his belt, unhooking one, and the colour drained from Loki's face when he saw why. The Einherjar, Æsir and Jotuns alike had parted, allowing the two drastically different Princes to make their way forward. Helblindi's face was stony as he looked upon his once-brother and Thor, but Balder's face, upon meeting their gazes, split into a grin.

"Hello Thor, Loki," he greeted, and Loki shuddered at the sound of the quiet voice. Balder must have noticed the ripple that had passed through Loki's body, as his attention fixed on the Jotun, hard eyes showing a strange kind of mild contempt. "Oh come now," he laughed, taking another step forward. "Let's not be childish. You, more than anyone else, must understand what we are trying to do Loki. Why don't you just make this easier for yourselves?"

"I do understand," Loki told him, regaining his voice, and Thor turned to look at him as Loki's hands suddenly found his, gripping onto the blonde tightly, "and it's because I understand that I will not allow you to do this." Suddenly his entire body was alight, every rune glowing with a blinding light. Balder realised what he was doing a second too late, and by the time he had stepped forward with a yell, and outstretched, the couple had already vanished. He stared, incredulous at the spot, before he grit his teeth.

"Find them!" he barked out at the guards, wrestling to control his voice. They hurried to disperse; none of them wanted to be in Balder's presence when the prince obviously had such a fragile hold on his temper.

Thor and Loki's body slammed down as they reappeared, miles away from the spot they had vanished from. Thor recovered quickly, picking himself up and gazing around. A wide expanse of sea greeted his gaze, miles below him, and stretching out into the water, stretching out from both sides of where the two men had landed, was the shimmering rainbow light of a bifrost bridge. Once inter-realm travel had become common, every realm had been fitted with the golden devise, making travel a simple matter. Thor had never liked it, the bridge that led to Midgard's bifrost extended out from a high cliff, and there was something about the sheer drop, the lack of railings, that put Thor on edge.

"Loki," he said, gazing out with worry across the bridge, shivering in the cold wind, "Loki, we need to-" but he cut himself off when he realised Loki was still hunched over on the bridge, shuddering, and not from the cold. Thor grasped Loki by the shoulders, trying to embrace him and at the same time pull him up, "Loki's what's wrong, we have to keep going, we-" he was cut off by the sound of Loki mumbling something. Thor's hand moved to cup Loki's chin, tilting it up towards him, and he was shaken by the haunted look on Loki's face. "Loki?" he asked, slowly, quietly, "Loki, what's wrong?"

It took Loki a moment to be able to speak, and Thor watched the Jotun try to drag together his thoughts into some kind of functioning order, "This…this is what happened before…" Loki choked out, his eyes stretched wide and filled with sick fear, "I attempted to teleport us that first time, we ended up on the bridge and they caught us- they caught us Thor, they'll catch us again, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry-" Thor gripped him fiercely by the shoulders, shaking him.

"Loki, stop this," he commanded, "You have done nothing, not to harm us. You have saved us, Loki. We never would have made it this far if you had not acted as you did." Loki shook his head, panicked and afraid, Thor fought to reassure him, "Loki, just keep walking with me, we have time, you gave us time…and when we get to the bifrost you will have the energy to cast an illusion, I know it, we'll be fine."

Loki's grip on Thor tightened, his gaze hardening into something resembling determination. "Yes," he hissed out, trying to regain control of his voice. "Yes, we will make it. I will make it." They continued on their way. As they continued to move onwards, further down the bridge and no guards appeared, Loki's strength began to return. His posture straightened, and although he didn't loosen his grip on Thor, he stopped using Thor like he was a crutch. Thor tried to thin what realm it would be best for them to travel to; Asgard was undoubtedly out of the question, perhaps Vanaheim, or Alfheim? Either way they would need constant disguise, Loki more than Thor, with his distinctive features, so decidedly Jotun. When the bifrost finally came into his vision, however, Thor was not prepared for the onslaught that suddenly hit him. He realised, as he was falling, that this was the first time he had actually seen the bifrost.

Thor collapsed to his knees, heels of his hands pressed hard against his forehead. He could hear Loki above him, calling out his name frantically, cool fingers grabbing his hands, but there was a second Loki in his mind now. This Loki was clothed is green, with curving gold horns and skin pale as milk. His expression was one of madness and fear, and Thor felt himself launch his body at this Loki, hand outstretched and weapon clenched tightly as Loki was tackled to the rainbow bridge beneath them…

Loki rolling off the edge of the bridge clinging on with fierce fingers…

Thor helping him up, only for him to disappear and for him to suddenly be surrounded by vicious laughing copies of the same man over and over again, his brother, his Loki his brother-Loki-friend-lover-lokilokiloki-

And now pounding against the bridge watching it crack and shatter beneath him, Loki screaming from behind-

Loki's face, tearstained and filled with bitter acceptance, as his fingers opened and he fell into the abyss…

Thor didn't realise he was screaming until he saw Loki's face, scrunched up in pain even as the frost giant had stayed huddled with him, long arms wrapped tightly around Thor's body. "You're ok," the Jotun was saying, and even his voice was pained, "You're ok, you're fine…"

"Loki," Thor choked out, and oh gods he had been about to call him brother, "Loki, I just…I remembered-"

"It doesn't matter!" Loki said fiercely, "It doesn't matter what you remembered. I don't care, it's just a memory, it's not you. It's not you…"

And suddenly Thor's arms were around Loki's shoulders too, and he was kissing the black haired man desperately, and Loki kissed back with all the passion and all the heat his frozen body could muster. "We must…" Thor got out between two kisses, "we must keep going. They will come soon…" the two former gods pulled each other two their feet, and prepared to continue their way along the bridge. Until, with a blast that almost sent them flying from its edge, the bifrost exploded into life before them, and with that as their only warning, they were faced with the King of the gods. The Allfather, Odin Borson.