Fear of flying chapter 12.

This is turning into something much longer than I had originally thought. Thanks for sticking with me :) The problem with being a nurse and a mother is I know loads of things I can throw at this story to keep it going! Please excuse any glaring inaccuracies in the US medical system, being in the UK I'm used to the national health service which is totally different and now work for a charitably funded children's hospice which it very different again.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, no copyright infringement intended.

The following morning Hotch rode the elevator up to the BAU and mentally braced himself for what was probably coming at him once he reached his destination. Questions that he didn't know how to field, answers he wasn't able to give and frankly situations he didn't really want to deal with at this moment. As he stepped out he saw three heads spin his way as soon as he was visible, all three of them glancing round him to ascertain whether or not Emily Prentiss was following in his wake. He assumed they had all managed to draw the correct conclusions by now if they were already associating his arrival with hers and looking to him to inform the of her welfare, something that had always been the other way around. He had often asked about her, subtly, to different people over the course of cases being careful not to show too much interest to any one person and also making his enquiries casual so that she would remain unaware. They was nothing subtle about his team's scrutiny this morning though.

"Where's Emily?" Morgan asked the second Hotch stepped through the doors.

He sighed and tried to address him without drawing in Reid and Rossi who were also standing by for information. "She had to be admitted, she'll be spending a couple of nights in hospital." he tried to sound unconcerned when if fact that was very far from the truth. She had managed the flight fine as predicted once mid-afternoon hit he could see her struggling. She'd tried to get a drink down at least but hadn't been able to keep it down longer than half an hour, by 5pm he had forced her into the car, taken her to the emergency room and forgone waiting for an appointment anywhere else. They had taken the information from them and taken her through straight away and started IV fluids and she had been on the OB floor within a couple of hours. He had stayed until around 9pm when she had fallen fast asleep despite the noise around them, leaving a note beside her that he would be back early in the morning and had gone home for the night. He had called in on his way up and she had still been sleeping and still hooked up to the IV's, the nurses told him they didn't expect her to come off them for a week.

Reid faced him, "What's wrong with her?"

Hotch pursed his lips, "I can't really talk about it right now Reid. She was supposed to be meeting with Strauss so I need to go let her know that thats not going ahead. Are you guy's alright here while I sort a few things out?"

The three men exchanged glances then gave curt nods and returned to the ever present paperwork mountain that littered their office. Hotch crossed the bullpen and rose up the steps to his office where he deposited his jacket and briefcase. He did not like being so secretive, especially when Emily could probably do with some support and a friendly face, but they both agreed that the less the rest of the team knew the better, it would put them in a less awkward position if everything hit the fan. He steeled himself for the confrontation he was about to have with Strauss. He was not looking forward to any contact with her, much less when he would rather be anywhere but here. He'd rather be checking on Emily, or at home with Jack as he had shamelessly neglected him the previous evening to make sure that Emily got the medical attention she so obviously needed.

Hotch was relieved to see that Strauss's assistant was not at her desk so he crossed straight to the door and knocked on it with more confidence than he felt. He waited for a response then entered.

"Agent Hotchner?" she said from behind her desk, "I'm a little busy right now, in fact I'm meeting with one of your team members, Agent Prentiss."

"Yes, I know, I came to let you know that she won't be coming."

Strauss raised her eyebrows, "You managed to talk her out of requesting a transfer already? Couldn't she tell me herself?"

Hotch couldn't quite keep the smug smile off his face as he slipped into the seat opposite her to deliver his next peace of news, "No, on both counts, ma'am. I have no objection to Agent Prentiss requesting a transfer if that's what she wants, though of course she will be a loss to the team. And she can't tell you herself because she's sick and had to be admitted to the hospital last night."

"What?" she exclaimed, "What's wrong with her?"

Hotch tried the fight the urge to shuffle in his seat, effectively squirming under the question, "I was under the impression that I was not under obligation to share confidential medical information about my subordinates." he answered stonily.

Strauss's eyebrows went up and Hotch regretted his response, it was like a red rag to a bull she was never going to give up now, he would be lucky if Strauss didn't personally call every DC hospital pretending to be Emily's mother until she found her, "As long as its nothing that would affect her ability to do her job, either here or once her transfer is effective." she replied nonchalantly.

"You can go ahead with that in her absence?" he asked.

"I can," she replied, "but I'd have to be sure she wants me to. I require more than a quick mid-morning phone-call to transfer an agent from an assignment they've been on for four years with little or no explanation."

He tried to remain nonchalant, "Thank you ma-am, I'll pass that onto Agent Prentiss when I call to enquire after her welfare this afternoon."

He left her office and released the breath he realised he had been holding, only to be faced with Reid and Rossi staring him down.

"Morgan told us what's going on Hotch, not that he needed to." Rossi told him.

Hotch felt his pulse rate jump, "Can we not talk about this here?" he asked.

Reid angled his gaze, "The conference room is free."

Hotch swallowed and nodded, feeling that he would prefer to return to Strauss's office and offer his confession of seducing a subordinate and then trying to transfer her out before her pregnancy was discovered.

Reid hated hospitals so he had no idea why he'd said he would go visit Emily. He wasn't overly keen on vomit either so again he asked himself why he had volunteered. His brain told him it was because Emily was a friend not just a colleague. In addition to those things his discomfort ramped up a level when we departed the elevator on the OB floor. It was filled with primarily hormonal women and secondarily babies. Two things guaranteed to make most grown men squirm. Taking a nurse's direction he sought Emily's room through a twisty turny maze of lilacs and pale pinks, quite honestly he couldn't see how they could hope to cure anyone of vomiting here, the environment made him nauseous and he was not a pregnant woman.

When he came across her Emily Prentiss looked nothing like he had expected. He'd fully imagined her perched on a bed in her work wear arguing with the medical staff while she threw up. In fact she was dressed in stripy pyjama bottoms and a cotton t-shirt, she lay on the bed on her left side facing away from the door, her right hand was laid across her abdomen and connected to a fluid IV. Her hair was loosely swept back, her arms bore the telltale marks of frequent blood draws, or at least frequent attempts and her skin was so pale he had trouble distinguishing her from the crisp white linen. Her left arm was home to a blood pressure cuff which he could see from glancing at the monitor above her bed was set to measure her blood pressure every fifteen minutes. The readings it had recorded recently were low, so low he wondered how she had ever walked up the stairs to their flight home yesterday. Rounding the bottom of the bed he saw her eyes were closed, though she did not look restful he assumed she was asleep and quietly eased himself down into the chair by her bed. After several minutes he heard the BP cuff on her arm begin to inflate and she started awake.

"Reid?" she said startled, her voice was hoarse and raw. He saw her look around and realise he was visiting her in the OB floor. Her mouth dropped open as she floundered for words of explanation or apology.

"Hi Emily." he smiled, "It's ok, Hotch filled us in."

She remained speechless, unable to add anything to Hotch's explanation, especially as she had no idea what it was.

"Looks like they've used you for a pincushion." he commented gesturing to her nearest bruised arm.

"It's not as bad as it looks."

Reid smiled, "I'm sure I've heard that somewhere before."

"What did Hotch tell you?" she whispered.

Reid pressed his lips together and leaned forward, "That this is his baby."

She nodded, "OK."

"Its none of my business, really. I just wanted to come say 'hi'."

"You aren't angry that I lied?" she swallowed heavily and he could see it pained her.

"No. We all have a right to privacy. You never lied to me because I didn't ask you any questions."

She raised her eyebrows in surprise and opened her mouth to reply but he unexpectedly silenced her with a raised finger.

"sssh, you have obviously got some trauma in your throat so rest it." he suggested.

From anyone else she would have been irritated but she let it slide and gave a slight nod of consent before settling her head back on the plasticy bed. She watched him glance around the room and could almost hear him mentally listing the equipment he could see and it's uses.

"No statistics?" she asked amused.

He tilted his head, "Sure lots but they're mostly meaningless."

"Why?" she asked surprised.

"Well the odds of falling pregnant at yo-," he stopped himself and cleared his throat then tried again, "at ages over thirty five reduce dramatically. But then you are more likely to fall pregnant from a single encounter than a regular intercourse in a relationship, just as a cheating wife is more likely to fall pregnant to her lover than her husband." he mused.

Great, she thought, Hotch had shared the unplanned and one night aspect of their actions so far.

"And less than 2% of pregnant women experience hyperemesis gravidarium so really you've gone against all the statistics already, it seems pointless to compare anymore" he explained.

"Did Hotch talk to Strauss?"

Reid nodded in reply, "I don't know the outcome but he'll be by in our hour or so." Reid explained.

"Is everyone mad?"

Reid shook his head, "No. Garcia is mad that you guys managed to sneak under her radar but not at you. No one is going to say anything that would damage your position or Hotch's. But we are sad you feel like you have to transfer."

So clearly Hotch had told them all everything. "It's not a good way for a team to work having two people trying to maintain a relationship in the middle. But it's not just about that. I want to look after this baby properly and I can't do that out in the field and I can't ask the rest of the team to take the load for me like you did this week. We're already one down." she explained.

"Plenty of agents manage family and work Prentiss, JJ did."

"Her role was different and her... Well the father wasn't on the same team." she wasn't going to be talked out of it. She wondered how Reid could see her in this state and think that she had anything to contribute to the team in the near future. "I'm not leaving DC, or the bureau, I'm not moving away I just have to move on."

She watched his slow nod, but saw his face was unconvinced. She didn't have the energy to argue the ins and outs of the situation. She shifted uncomfortably trying to find a position that didn't pull the IV line or the cuff on her arm.

"You ok?" Reid asked in alarm.

She half smiled, "Yeah, just uncomfortable." she reassured him. As if on cue the cuff on her arm fires again and rolled her eyes at it.

"How long do you have to keep that on?" he asked.

"Until my systolic is above ninety for an hour, see I almost sounded like I knew what I was saying there."

"Low BP is common in early pregnancy, your pulse pressure is narrow because you're dehydrated. It means your circulation has trouble getting bloodflow to your brain and you suffer from postural hypotension." he reeled off.

"What?" was all she bothered to whisper in reply.

"You feel dizzy when you stand up." he clarified.

"I knew that." she muttered.

He nodded and held his silence. Really he was the last person who should be here. He had no experience with pregnant women other than JJ, maybe he should call her?

"Sorry," she said quietly, "I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable. I'm glad you're here, just not feeling like myself."

"That's hardly surprising, there's the equivalent of a war going on in your body." he told her.

She blew air our between her lips, "That doesn't help Reid."

He kept his silence and waited for her irritation to dissipate. It was encouraging she still had the energy to be irritated with him.

"Lets play cards or something." he suggested.

"If I can do it without sitting up I'd love to."

An hour later Hotch arrived strolling purposefully through the door. He was pleased to see Emily interacting with Reid, when he had left early that morning she had been so nauseated she could barely speak. Giving a list of things she wanted from home had caused her to retch and gag and he had left her laying very still with her eyes pressed shut. Though she looked far from animated she managed a smile that did begin to touch her eyes and replaced some of the abject misery he'd seen there over the last twenty four hours as a result of the unrelenting sickness.

He dropped her bag at the foot of the bed temporarily and perched on the edge. He instinctively placed a hand on her thigh as he sat and he saw Reid try to ignore it and fail.

Reid cleared his throat, "Well, I'm going to head off. Call if I can do anything."

"Thanks Reid." Prentiss said, her voice still croaky. She shifted uncomfortably onto her back so she could face Hotch, "What's going on at work?"

"Nothing to worry about Emily. Strauss will go ahead with the transfer but she wants you to confirm it first." he told her. He watched her lay her head back and look up at the ceiling and shuffled up so that he was sitting beside her. "What's wrong?"

"How am I going to explain this?" she gestured at her stomach and the drips, "I can't lie."

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it." he told her firmly, "Let's get you out of here and healthy first."

He leaned forward intending to gently kiss her on the lips but her hand gently stopped him, "What's wrong?" he asked.

She shuffled uncomfortably, "I haven't showered, or brushed my teeth Hotch I'm a mess."

He ignored her protest and continued, releasing her from a lingering kiss he told her, "You look perfect to me."

She screwed up her face, "Are you trying to make me throw up?"

Hotch stroked her hand, unsure really what to do.

"This is weird huh?" she voiced his concerns, "We kind of skipped from one night to you fussing around me as if this pregnancy is something we tried for."

He met her gaze levelly, "I don't have cold feet if that's what you mean? The last couple of days have been ... intense... for both of us. It's cemented my feelings and commitment but it shows me that away from the BAU I don't know you so well and we don't know how to behave like a couple."

"Soooo how do we find out?"

He smiled warmly, "By doing what feels right."

Prentiss laughed lightly, "Isn't that how we got right here?"

He considered her response, "Is that so bad? We felt good and we went with that, we didn't stop and let our heads interfere. A lot of relationships have a much shakier start."

"Did you tell the team every detail Hotch? Reid seemed to know an awful lot." she asked.

He shook his head emphatically, "No, but I did clarify a few things. Reid and Garcia seemed to think we'd been together for years."

Her eyes widened in surprise, "And no one mentioned it? Garcia tried to set me up with all sorts of guys."

"Exactly, and you kept turning them down, confirming her suspicions. Reid thought that we had been seeing each other since Hayley left. In fact he thought that's why Hayley and I split."

"What?"

"When I requested a transfer and you resigned and we both ultimately returned to the unit he thought that was the reason." he told her, "Not that it really matters now. My point is the rest of the team don't have any issues with us being together, you don't have to transfer."

"We can't just lie and hide our relationship, what does that make this baby? A dirty secret?"

Hotch raised his hands in resignation, "OK, I'm sorry. I'm being selfish. I love working with you, I love knowing where you are and who you're with, maybe I didn't want to give that up."

She carefully leaned herself forward to bring herself closer to him, "But that's all we've had up to now, being together away from all that is much better and it's what we deserve."

"I'm just afraid it will come between us. You'll be here and I won't."

Prentiss chewed her lip anxiously before replying, "I'm not Hayley. You have to give us a shot without comparing."

Hotch's brow furrowed momentarily, "I know, I just feel like I'm asking you to give up a lot and you'll regret it."

"You haven't asked me to give up anything. Don't get ahead of yourself Hotch, transferring is for this baby, the fact that we can pursue a relationship is a bonus." she told him firmly but gently.

"Wow, guess you put me in my place." he smiled, rising to sit along her on the cramped bed, carefully sweeping her IV tubing and monitors out of the way.

He lay down behind her and folded himself around her, turning her arms over gently he examined the bruises and needle marks that marred her pale skin.

"I'm a mess huh?" she said turning her head toward him slightly.

"Just battle scars, Emily. The fight's worth it." he kissed her lightly on the forehead.

She settled back down on the pillow beside him, "Yeah it is."

Hotch placed his hand on her abdomen as he had the last time they'd curled up together, she felt he tension in his muscles.

"You're not going to hurt me." she assured him.

"It's not that." he told her.

"Then what it is?"

"I want to tell Jack about us." he said, he let her absorb his words for a moment then added, "As soon as possible, well now really, I want to bring him in to see you."

She turned to face him and studied his expression, "No, not here. He'll be frightened."

"You're going to be in here a week or so, he's going to wonder why I'm spending so much time here. If he knows he can come too and he won't feel shut out." he explained.

She regarded him with a furrowed brow, "OK, if that's what you want and you think he can handle it, then I guess we'll do it."

"Wow, we're going public." he smiled.