This is another of my responses to the Iron Chef: Random Pairing Challenge posted by JoeMerl on PPMB. This time I drew Skip Stevens and Coach Morris. I'm a bit dubious about this one as I couldn't really relate to the two I drew so I went for something morbid and off the wall. Have brain bleach to hand just in case!
This is fan fiction, done for fun and not for profit. All recognizable characters are the intellectual property of Glenn Eichler and MTV/Viacom. This original story 2013 Peetz5050
Something in Common
Deirdre Morris slouched down the corridor. The hood on her old fleece pulled over her head and her hands in her pockets. Nobody gave her a second glance, nobody recognized her or greeted her, good. She looked just like all of the other teenagers thronging the halls on their way to class. Satisfied that her disguise was effective she made her way to the gym and slipped into her office where she quickly changed into her usual tracksuit.
The disguise was the easy part, getting the gun into the school had been much tougher, she'd had to break a lot of football helmets before that damned miser Li had ordered a delivery of new equipment. She'd hung out in the car park and offered to help carry in the boxes allowing her to walk right past the security guards with a long brown parcel marked "Hockey Sticks". All she'd had to do after that was break the lock leading to the roof of the library and steal a swipe card from lost & found. Everything was ready, today was the day.
Some little voice at the back of her head told her that it was really her own fault, that she'd brought this disgrace on herself, but that was one voice she ignored. This was Li's fault... and Gibson and that damned PTA but the rot had set in... the real start of her troubles... it had all started to come undone when Jane Lane quit the track team. The other school's teams kept asking where her star runner had gotten to and somebody, somewhere, had spoken to the state's governing body and some nosey sonofabitch with nothing else to do had started an investigation. Typically Li and Gibson had thrown her under the bus and her career was over. Sure they were doing her a favor and letting her keep her job until the end of the school year but after that she'd be lucky to be sweeping floors in Walmart.
Damn Jane Lane and damn her lazy friend who wouldn't run to get out of a burning building! Damn them all! She'd have to pick off a few others just to make it look like a random thing but if she could just get those two... oh and please let Li and Gibson walk out that door too... please!
She went through her morning sessions as usual, nobody would ever notice anything odd about her today, it was just another day. She had no classes this afternoon and the track team had all been given a week off training after the big win on Saturday so nobody should be looking for her. She ate lunch in the staff room and then just "happened" to mention to Coach Gibson that as she was free for the afternoon she was going to go shopping.
Dressed in her hoodie no one watching the security monitors or reviewing the tapes would spot her as she made her way from the parking lot to the library building. Wearing thin, flesh colored surgical gloves she swiped the stolen pass card and entered the library. There was no one else there, as usual. Ghost like on rubber soled sneakers she went to the accountancy section and recovered the rifle from behind the row of books on tax law that had never been opened. Then up to the roof.
She kept low so that her head wouldn't appear over the edge wall in case anyone happened to be looking out of a window. She crawled over to a break in that wall where a gutter passed through. She took the scope out and looked through it, yes, as she'd thought, she had a perfect line of sight to the exit door. She took an energy bar out of the kangaroo pocket on her hoodie and settled down to wait. Shortly afterward she was startled to hear the door to the roof creak open and the sound... yes... that was definitely someone crawling across the roof. Had she been discovered? No, surely not! One of Li's security goons would just trample around... he wouldn't creep... so who...?
After a moment a figure came around the ventilator shaft she'd been hiding behind and crawled over to the next aperture in the wall. The figure was holding... no freakin' way! He had a rifle! Not as good as hers, she noticed, her Dad had really known his guns and could take down a deer a quarter of a mile away. She wasn't nearly that good but she didn't need to be. But who was this amateur butting in on HER party? She carefully and quietly cocked her own rifle and pointed it at the interloper who, she noticed, was wearing a gray fleece hoodie almost identical to her own.
'Hey YOU!'
'Aaaagh NO! Who...?'
'Nuh, uh, I'm the one pointing the gun at you so I get to ask the questions. Who are you and what are you doing here?'
'I'm Skip S... look just Skip all right? Please just let me get her then you can turn me in OK? Just let me get one shot, please?'
'Get who exactly?'
'That loser chick with the glasses... Dari something, THAT BITCH RUINED MY LIFE!'
'Daria?'
'Yeah... her... do you know her?'
'She's a student here. What did she do to you? Break your little heart did she? Wouldn't put out so you're going to pay her back you pathetic little man.'
'No, no, it's not like that... she just took something that was precious to me... the most important thing in my life and made it... made me feel like it was... Camp Grizzly was my life! I loved that place now Mr. Potts doesn't want me to come back...' He was almost in tears now. Deirdre didn't know what he was raving about but she had to admire the single mindedness of it, he certainly didn't lack commitment and if there was one thing Deirdre Morris prized above all else it was commitment.
With a cruel little smile she said. 'Fine, you can have her, just don't distract me while I get her little friend.'
Skip was staring at her open mouthed. Slowly his face betrayed understanding and then open admiration. 'Wow!' He said. 'Now that's the way to deal with people who won't do what you tell them. Way to go Miss...?'
'Call me De... just Dee will be fine, have you got your escape route planned?'
'No I... I never really thought about anything past the moment when I... when I shut that smart mouth for good. I already got the other one, that Amelia chick, over in Parkersburg, she was easy, she lived right by the woods. This one though, there's no cover around here and she never goes anywhere natural like a park or anything, so I had to come here. What about you?'
'Never mind me, I have my own reasons.' But Deirdre was thinking that this must be her lucky day, this moron was the perfect patsy... and it didn't hurt that he was cute too. If she played this right she could end up being the hero... they couldn't fire her then... not if she was the brave teacher that threw a mad shooter off the library roof... Now to get him on her side... the old ways were always best.
'Soo Skip... we have forty-five minutes until school lets out for the day... what say we check out each other's equipment...'
Skip was swallowing hard and looking like a deer in the headlights... just the way she liked them...
A little later...
'Ohhhh, like grossss... that is totally like, uncool and stuff.'
'GRIFFIN?' Deirdre struggled to get her pants back on as the girl looked at the two of them with a sneering expression. Then Deirdre noticed that the girl, unusually for her, was wearing a gray hoodie and carrying a long package...
'So, Sandi... who are you here for?'
'Quinn Morgendorffer... that little redhaired bitch has stolen her like, last boyfriend from ME!'
'Well... this is awkward... there are only two slots on this side of the building, you'll just have to wait your turn.'
'Like, why and stuff? Us fashionable and popular people never wait in line for anything, it's like the rules and stuff. Your boyfriend can go after me.'
'Hey, no way, I was here before you!'
'If you were like, a gentleman you'd allow a lady to go first.'
'Listen, I may not know much but you ain't no lady, Lady!'
'Will you morons PLEASE keep it quiet over THERE!'
Deirdre realized that what she had at first taken to be an old tarpaulin was in fact Anthony Demartino in gray camouflage carrying... yes, a sniper rifle.
'Hi Anthony, let me guess, Kevin Thompson, right?'
'How did YOU know that?'
'Just call me Sherlock. Is there room under that camo for one more?'
'Perhaps.'
'There you go Sandi.'
'Eeeuuuw! That is like totally unfashionable... camouflage went out in like, the eighties!'
'Just go!'
'Very well.'
'What is the meaning of all this?'
'MS. LI!' Several voices chorused.
'Ms. LI, May I ASK what you are doing up here DRESSED in a hoodie and carrying a rifle?'
'Well I...'
'Who are you after?'
'Actually nobody in particular it's just I was given such a great offer on insurance in the event of a school shooting not to mention the PTA would give me carte blanche to...'
She was interrupted by an ominous groan and something, somewhere went "Snick!"
'What was that? I thought you got this roof repaired. Who did you get to do it, the Three Stooges?' Deirdre asked.
'Don't be ridiculous! I put it out to tender as per County guidelines.'
There was another groan.
'So WHO won the tender? Ruttheimer?'
'No... they were far too expensive... Mr. Thompson was...' Something snapped underneath them. Deirdre looked in Skip's eyes and smiled sadly and then...
'Hey Daria, wait up.'
'What is it Jane? I don't want to spend another minute in this place, I feel like I'll die if I don't get out into the fresh air.'
'Yeah well, I don't know if you're worried or not but I just passed Quinn and she seemed pretty upset, do you wanna...?'
'Tuh, damned conscience, I'd better go see what's up with her or my Mom will be all over my ass.'
'Quinn, why are you crying? Did some boy...?'
'No Daria, Gawd! I never get upset about boys, you should know that by now. It's Sandi, she kicked me out of the Fashion Club just because I went on a date with Brent who's supposed to be going out with Zoe but he's been seeing Sand...'
'ENOUGH! I don't wish to know that. Look are you OK? Do you want to come with us? I'll even spring for a slice of cheeseless... if you promise to shut up about Sandi.'
Quinn accepted the kind offer underneath the sarcasm, glad of any company just at the moment. As they left the school to head for the pizzeria there was a loud crash and a cloud of smoke and debris rose up from the roof of the library building.
Jane raised an eyebrow. 'Damn! I thought Der Kommandant had that fixed?'
'She did, but I bet it was a monument to shoddy workmanship.'
'I hope nobody was hurt.'
'Nah, couldn't happen, I'm here and Kevvie and his inflatable dolly are over there so it's guaranteed there was nobody in there. Let's go. Nothing really exciting ever happens in this place!'
And so they went.
