A pesky, annoying sound eventually invaded Brian's senses as he slowly emerged from his drunken stupor of the night before. It still took him several seconds to fully waken as he eventually realized the incessant buzzing sound was coming from his alarm clock. Smacking the top of it to turn it off, he ventured to raise his head slightly, only to be greeted with a fucker of a headache.

"Shit," he muttered, as he plopped his head back on the mattress to alleviate the pain. He had been drunk enough times before to easily recognize the hangover he was currently experiencing, but he realized for once he had no clear idea how he had actually gotten home, and in his bed, no less.

Forcing himself to finally sit up against his body's protests, he leaned back against the headboard and tried to think clearly about what had happened yesterday. What was the last thing he remembered? He could recall going to work in the morning, only to be visited by Emmett, the Righteous Queen of Liberty Avenue. And he could remember Emmett summoning Theodore into his office to back up what he said had actually happened at Babylon the night that bastard, Marchant, had danced with Justin.

Justin. Fuck. Did he see Justin yesterday, too? Hazy recollections, whether real or imagined, slowly coalesced in his brain. He remembered storming out of his office and paying His Royal Majesty Emmett a visit at his royal residence soon after he had left Kinnetik. And he could remember bringing his best friend, Jim Beam, along with him when he went to visit, and he could recall demanding to know where Justin was. But what happened after that? He didn't think Emmett had told him where to find Justin; in fact, it seemed like the opposite – the man had been downright obstinate about it. But he could swear he could remember Justin being with him, remember his familiar, sweet, unique smell, and remember his soft touch. So what HAD happened? Was that all just wishful thinking in his befuddled, besotted head?

He was about to drag himself up and out of the bed when he happened to glance over to his left, where his partner always slept, and noticed what appeared to be a note lying on top of the pillow. Reaching over to grab it, he immediately noticed the blond's familiar, unique handwriting. Well, he was here at SOME point. Unfolding it, he read his partner's message:

Brian – You were in no shape to carry on an intelligent conversation last night. If you still want to talk to me, you can find me at the park near the lake. J

Brian sighed; so he WASN'T imagining that his partner had been here last night. He should have known right away – that touch and smell were too vivid to have just dreamed it up. At least Justin wasn't shutting him out altogether, so he still had a chance to hopefully make things right with his partner again. He knew he had made some pretty terrible accusations to him the other night; it probably wasn't going to be easy to fix the damage he had done. But he knew he had to try; damn it, he loved the man. That hadn't changed, and truth be told, it never WAS going to change, if he had anything to say about it.

Flipping his phone open briefly to call Cynthia to inform her he wasn't going to be in for a while, he found a couple of Advil to down and trudged over to the shower to prepare for one of the most important meetings he would ever have in his life.


Highland Park – Pittsburgh

The early morning sun had finally broken through the clouds and warmed Justin's face as he sat on one of the benches surrounding the reservoir. Ever since he had developed his love for drawing as a child, he had enjoyed coming here to sit and observe the constant ebb and flow of people, animals, and vegetation that was constantly changing throughout the year. It was still early spring; the only sign that the season had begun were the pansies blooming nearby and the unexpectedly warm weather today. It was already in the low 50's with a forecast of about 10 degrees warmer before the day was over; he only wished his present mood matched the warming temperature.

He had tried to sleep in Brian's bed last night, at least once the brunet had finally slumped onto the mattress and fallen into a drunken slumber. In fact, he HAD been able to fall asleep pretty quickly initially as he had listened to his partner's familiar breathing; however, after waking up an hour later he finally realized there was no way he could stay there. They still had a lot of talk about; that is, if Brian wanted that. He had decided to leave him a note telling him where to find him; it was up to Brian now to determine if that was what he wanted.

Noticing a swan gliding through the water, he picked up his sketchpad and pencil to begin tentatively outlining the pastoral scene in front of him. Thank goodness his art helped to relax him and keep his mind off more emotional matters. He tried intently to concentrate, pink tongue darting out briefly to lick his lips and blue eyes moving back and forth from his pad to the bucolic scene in front of him, but his mind was elsewhere. On a certain stubborn, pigheaded, irritating, but vulnerable man who could make him feel both tenderness and frustration at the same time; a man who when it came to relationships was still in kindergarten. And he acted like it, too, Justin thought wryly.

"Aiming to be the next Audubon now, Sunshine?" Justin didn't have to turn to know who was speaking to him; even if Brian hadn't used his nickname, he would have known that voice anywhere, even if he was blind. Turning to his right to acknowledge his partner's presence, he noticed surprisingly that Brian was dressed casually in a black leather jacket, white tee shirt, and blue jeans; he would have expected the brunet to be wearing his typical week day suit and tie. Of course, Justin couldn't help thinking that Brian always looked stunning no matter what he wore, or didn't wear. He also observed that his partner seemed much more sober and lucid now than he did last night; he was always amazed by the way Brian could straighten himself up after an extreme round of drinking the night before.

"You're not going into work?" he asked the other man, who was standing somewhat awkwardly about ten feet away, apparently waiting for some sign of encouragement from the blond.

"Probably later," he admitted. "It depends."

Justin raised an eyebrow. "Depends on what?" he prodded curiously.

"It depends on you. And me." He lips curled under as he continued to stand uncomfortably nearby.

"What about you and me?" Justin pressed, eyeing the other man intently.

Brian sighed softly. "You're not going to make this easy on me, are you Sunshine?"

"Should I?" the blond asked impertinently.

Brian bit his lip a little, wanting desperately to be closer to his partner, to try and undo the damage he has caused, to try and explain why he had acted the way he did. "Can I sit down?" he finally requested, not taking his eyes off the younger man.

Justin licked his lips a little, unexpectedly nervous all of a sudden. His emotions were in turmoil. He loved this man so much, had loved him since the day he had met him. He knew Brian came with a lot of baggage; fuck, who wouldn't after the type of parents he had had to deal with? He really had thought he could handle Brian's emotionally-damaged psyche, but after the encounter in Brian's loft the other day, it had left him in so much pain, he was left wondering if he had bit off more than he could chew. Wasn't it meaningful, though, that this man had come here? Maybe more importantly, was it enough?

After several seconds, he realized with a start that Brian was still waiting for an answer from him; the brunet continued to look at him as if he were almost afraid to breathe.

Finally, Justin simply nodded, not quite trusting his voice, which was threatening to break as he rehashed once again their painful confrontation from the other night.

Brian did not wait for his partner to possibly change his mind; he slowly walked over and sat down next to the blond. Tentatively, he started to reach out to take Justin's hand, but he noticed with a heavy heart that the younger man reacted by subtly moving both of his slender hands together in his lap, his sketchpad held securely underneath. Instead, Brian had to be content for now to reach over and place his arm across the back of the park bench, not daring to actually touch the slim shoulder he craved to embrace so much.

Trying an initial attempt at humor, he began, "I thought about bringing you a peace offering – maybe some cherry turnovers or something. But on second thought I figured that probably wasn't a good idea under the circumstances." He noticed to his chagrin that Justin didn't even crack a smile at his endeavor to be clever. He decided perhaps it was time, instead, to maybe take a different tactic – honesty.

"Justin," he began. Where should he start? This was so fucking hard for him. Hell, it wasn't like he exactly had great role models growing up. Having a frigid ice queen for a mother and a drunken, bigoted father who enjoyed nothing better than beating him up on a regular basis didn't exactly give him the proper tools to develop relationships. Especially ones as important as this one.

At least his partner wasn't ignoring him as he returned his gaze. Taking that as an encouraging sign that perhaps not all hope was lost, he felt emboldened to try and explain his actions from the other night. Just say it, Kinney. He took a deep breath before the words tumbled out. "I fucked up the other night, Justin. I jumped to conclusions without giving you a chance to explain." He wasn't prepared, however, by the torrent of emotion that gushed forth from his partner.

Justin's eyes suddenly glistened over as he cried, voice choking, "You're damn right. You really hurt me, Brian."

"I know, Sunshine," Brian whispered softly, helplessly, trying somehow to comfort the other man. He longed to take Justin in his arms and wipe out all the pain that was so obvious in his voice, but he knew that wasn't possible at the moment. The only thing he could do was try and make Justin understand that he wasn't the only one in pain, to try and explain why he did what he did. "Justin, I know I was wrong. I can't take back what I said now. I can only try and explain why I acted the way I did."

As Justin bowed his head and sniffled, Brian couldn't stand it anymore. Daring to risk it, he removed his arm from the back of the bench and reached over gently to hold the quivering chin, slowly raising and turning his partner's head to look at him. The unwashed tears were escaping down the pale cheeks unabated now, only adding to Brian's remorse and guilt.

"Justin," he began again, his voice filled with emotion as the blue eyes finally looked at him. "Please don't cry, Sunshine," he begged, wiping some of the other man's tears away with his thumb. His heart swelled as he found the courage to finally tell this man what he really felt. "Do you know how much I fucking love you?" he questioned softly, seeing a look of surprise on the other man's face at his unexpected confession. "When you left with the.....fiddler, it hurt. A LOT. Maybe you had some idea that it hurt, but you don't know how fucking MUCH it hurt. I tried to push you away, I know, because I thought it was best for you. But it was never what was best for me. And when you came back to me, it was the happiest fucking day of my life." He noticed Justin looking at him intently now, holding his breath, as he admitted in a whisper, "I lost my heart to you a long time ago, Justin."

Justin started to say something, only to have Brian gently clamp his fingers over the pink lips. "Let me finish before I fucking run out of courage," he scoffed, reaching this time to tenderly caress the other man's cheek once he was sure he would not be interrupted. "When I saw you the other day with….that MAN…..and it looked like the two of you were about to kiss, I just lost it. I know – I should have waited for you to explain – but all I could see was the man I love way too fucking close to some arrogant French son of a bitch with a sexy accent and a body to match." At Justin's raised eyebrows, he added, "I'm not blind, you know. I noticed he was hot. I just didn't want someone that hot with YOU….except me," he joked, relieved to see that at last he obtained a slight smile in return from his partner.

"I won't promise I will never again fuck up when it comes to you and me," he cautioned the other man. "But I WILL promise that I will try to not make hasty assumptions again." Justin continued to remain quiet for far too long for Brian's comfort, making the brunet very nervous. Finally, he gently shook the blond's shoulder as he urged him, "Say something, Sunshine. Even if you're about to tear my fucking head off."

Finally, after what seemed like an interminable silence, Justin exhaled a shaky breath before speaking. "Brian, I love you, too," he reassured the other man, noticing a distinctive sigh of relief escape from the brunet's lips. Before his partner got too comfortable, however, he warned him, "But you have to TRUST me. I know I fucked up, too, when I didn't tell you what was going on with Ethan," he admitted. "But I also promised you when we got back together that I would be faithful to you, and I've kept that promise. And I intend to keep that promise. But you have to be willing to trust me," he repeated seriously. "Can you do that, Brian?" he asked the other man fervently. "Can you trust me?"

Brian looked at the man who had turned his world upside down in so many ways. The man who had latched onto him and never let go, despite his many attempts to at least half-heartedly dissuade him from having a relationship with him. The man who had slowly crept into his heart, despite his valiant effort to not let him in. And now, here he was, so fucking in love with this blond, passionate dynamo, he couldn't imagine ever letting him go. Is that why he had found it so hard to trust him, because he knew if Justin disappointed him again, his heart would break into a million pieces?

But if anyone was worth the risk, it was this man. Because the reward, the absolute, intense feeling of joy he derived from Justin's love was so fucking incredible. Making a resolute decision, his voice was strong as he replied firmly, "Yes, Justin, I CAN trust you. I DO trust you. With my most important possession. With my heart." He thought his heart had actually stopped beating at that moment, time suspended, as he waited anxiously for his partner's reaction to his promise. Was it enough? Finally, he had his answer.

Justin let out a breath and smiled. A true, radiant, Sunshine smile. He didn't say anything. He didn't HAVE to say anything, as he leaned over to kiss Brian's readily willing lips. Brian took advantage of his partner's capitulation to do what he had been longing to do from the second he saw him – pull the slim body to his in a tight embrace, his arms winding their way around the slender waist. He felt Justin's arms, too, slide around his back as they continued to kiss, oblivious to everything now but their touch, their feelings, their love for each other.

Finally after several minutes, they both reluctantly broke apart, still holding each other in a loose embrace. Brian leaned his forehead against the blond's as he murmured softly, "What do you say we take this somewhere more comfortable?"

"What about work?" Justin asked, somewhat breathlessly.

"Work can fucking wait," Brian growled. "We've got some more important matters to take care of." Standing up now, he reached down to pull Justin up and again into his arms. He just couldn't let this man go right now. "Come back with me to the loft," he urged him, lips curling under in that little-boy smile that always made Justin melt.

Justin didn't need to take very long to decide. "Okay," he said simply, as Brian again reached down to kiss him briefly but soundly. "Come on, Sunshine," he somewhat impatiently urged the blond. "I've got a wicked craving for some of your cream sauce."

Justin chuckled. "I think that can be arranged," he reassured him, as the two of them walked toward Brian's 'Vette, hands tightly twined together.

TBC