New Beginnings and Sudden Endings

Ob1MegOb1

Author's notes: Oh my goodness over 50 reviews! This is incredible I never expected this for this story. Then again I never expected this story to become this intense either! Thank you to everybody who continues to read and review this story and I thank you so much for your support. Okay here we go with Chapter 12 .

Chapter 12

Can We Move On?

It was a very rare event when Haruhi found she couldn't concentrate on school work. Actually it was so rare that it probably had only happened once in her academic career. And that was today.

"You can't concentrate either," Hikaru said next to her. Hikaru and Kaoru liked to come over every now and then to hang out and, at her insistence, do schoolwork.

"Yeah so?" Haruhi said irritably trying to get back on task, "You and Kaoru can never stay on task whenever you come over."

"Yeah but you never get off task," Kaoru said, "And besides…I'm sure you're thinking about the same thing."

Haruhi resignedly closed her notebook sighing, "Yeah I know. You've been noticing it too."

"Its hard not to," Hikaru said leaning back, "Tamaki's never been the best at subtlety. Even though he tries not to be concerned, everytime somebody mentions Kyoya his heard perks up and he tries to do that thing where he is listening but trying to not really listening. And he can't field the questions for much longer either about how Kyoya's doing in the hospital to the customers."

"Yeah, what has he said when it's just you two?" Kaoru said. They both kind of gave her sneaky smiles at that. Haruhi glared at them, still adapting to the fact that the Host Club knew about the two of them.

"I'll ignore that perverted look on both of your faces," she said annoyed, "but he hasn't said anything anpit him. And the truth is I haven't had the courage to even ask about anything concerning him. I was thinking about asking sometime soon, but when the nurse told me about the look on his face when he walked out of Kyoya's room…it just wasn't…Tamaki."

"Which also makes this situation weird," Hikaru muttered, "They both are acting out of character, except that one has a brain injury and that's to be expected."

But Haruhi, shook her head, "It's not that simple. If it was do you think Tamaki would have really taken what he said to heart? Tamaki would have just dismissed it and still kept being that annoying supportive presence that he tends to be. There had to be something…something more that we don't know about that happened when this conversation happened."

"And now its awkward," Kaoru said, "now that he's dismissed Tamaki it kind of makes it hard for us to go see him also. Now that he would tell us any information if we tried."

Haruhi sighed, "It would be hard…but it doesn't mean that it can't be done."

Hikaru and Kaoru gave her a weird look, "What's going on in your head right now?"

Haruhi sighed, "I think some of Tamaki is starting to rub off on me, because I do have an idea."

(A few days later)

"Okay so far so good," Hikaru said making note of the other company car following them.

"I still find it weird that he decided to take his own company car instead of riding with us."

"He claims that his father is supposed to call him after school," Haruhi said irritably, "hence why I am riding with you guys. He doesn't want to bother me with his father's call." She guessed at this point she should be happy that he even came along. But this thing about his dad calling seemed like an excuse and probably was. He hadn't really been subtle when she asked him to come.

"Hey Tamaki, me and the twins were thinking of going to visit Kyoya at the hospital. Do you want to come?" Tamaki's body went rigid as she asked. She could see him trying to think of a response. He didn't want to go to the hospital, and yet she knew in that silly mind of his that he didn't want her going to the hospital alone with the twins. And since he technically hadn't told them about the incident with Kyoya, he couldn't use the excuse of not wanting to visit him.

"Are you sure you want to go?" he said turning towards her with a smile, "I know you three have been busy with schoolwork."

"Yeah but we figured it would be a nice break. Besides I haven't gone to visit since you and me went. And the twins haven't seen him yet and we're all friends and every bit helps right?" She laid it on a little thick, but it had worked.

"What time after school?" Tamaki said a little reluctantly. She could see all over his face how reluctant he was to go, but he wasn't willing to explain his reluctance. That alone annoyed the heck out of her. Of all people why hadn't he told her what happened? Weren't they supposed to be…together?

"We're here," Hikaru said, "let's get this over with." As they got out of the car though, they noticed that Tamaki still hadn't gotten out of his car. "Great," Hikaru muttered, "Where is he?"

Tamaki finally popped his head out smiling, "Sorry guys you can go ahead without me. This call is going to take longer than I thought." Haruhi glared at him, but she finally just nodded her head waving the twins in.

"That's it?" Kaoru said surprised, "You can tell he's not telling the truth."

Haruhi tried to smile to herself, "He'll come in when he's ready. Besides I would like some alone time with Kyoya before Tamaki finally does get the courage to talk to him again." Kaoru and Hikaru cringed at the look in her eyes. Hikaru had been on the receiving end of those before and it usually wasn't pretty.

(Tamaki)

Tamaki hung up the phone sighing to himself. He hated lying to her with all his heart but...he just didn't have the heart to go in and see him. But what if he treated them the same way he had treated Tamaki? What if he hurt him and he wasn't there to back them up. He hadn't thought of that…

Before he knew it he was up and rushing into the hospital. He quickly took the elevator up trying his hardest gather up all the strength he could to actually go inside the room. But the longer and longer it took for him to get to the floor, the more the strength of his conviction began to disappear. And as the elevator opened on the floor he wanted he found himself unwilling to actually step onto the floor. Finally with a reluctant sigh he hit the arrow down, and the doors closed on his reluctant face

(Haruhi and the Twins)

Haruhi finally found herself standing outside the door with the twins. "Are we sure we want to do this?" Hikaru said nervously. Haruhi raised her hand anyways and knocked.

A very annoyed, "Yes?" answered from within. They all stood there in disbelief, forgetting that Kyoya had started talking again.

"Well it sure does sound like Kyoya-senpai," Kaoru said nervously.

"Yeah…more like a you just woke me up I'm going to kill you guys kind of answer," Hikaru said also. But Haruhi pushed open the door anyways. She wasn't surprised when she came in, to find Kyoya in the same position he had been in when her and Tamaki had visited. He was lying back his eyes closed hands crossed on his lap. As he opened his eyes though he seemed surprised to see her.

"Oh it's you," he said nonchalantly, "I didn't expect…"

"You didn't expect us to show up since you scared Tamaki away," she said her tone a lot more serious than Hikaru and Kaoru had expected.

"I merely told him the truth," Kyoya said irritably, "how he decided to take it is entirely his business. If he decided to act like a child…" but he was caught completely off guard as she slapped him across the face. His glasses flew off his face landing on the floor. Kyoya saw brief images of this happening before…only she hadn't been the one to slap him…it had been his father. Wait…when the hell was that?

"Haruhi," the twins said rushing forward.

"I don't care if you claim you don't remember," she said her voice angry, "you could have dealt with the situation much better than you did. The Kyoya we know would have done that, instead of getting frustrated and taking it out on his friend. But then again you said he's dead isn't he?" she said her voice shaking. He still kept his head down his eyes dark. "Well then I guess it's true then," she said reluctantly, "because he would never have hidden behind this excuse like you are. He would have given everything to get back to where he used to be. So you go ahead and sit there and push away everyone around you…and let's see how far that get's you." Kyoya looked up and he was taken aback by the look in her eyes. It seemed familiar…but he had seen them on somebody else…and at a completely different time.

"Hold on…sounds to me like you're the one who's not trying. If you want to surpass your brothers you can do it…but I think the one who has given up here…is you Kyoya."

Those eyes had looked at him while saying that. But who had said that? Why couldn't he place it? He looked up as the door closed to his room. They had walked out without him even noticing. But those words kept echoing in his head along with hers. Was he really giving up? But there was nothing left to give up on…he couldn't remember anything right? Or maybe…maybe he was giving up on himself?

(Haruhi)

She let out a deep breath as they made their way out of the hospital. "I can't believe I just did that," she muttered. Despite the fact that he couldn't remember anything, he still managed to scare the hell out of her. Except when he had looked up at her after she struck him. His eyes had been different. She didn't know how but the coldness had been gone for a brief moment and she could have sworn that she saw…

"Haruhi," Hikaru said gently putting his hand on Haruhi's shoulder. She looked up to see Tamaki leaning against his company car his head down his face dark. Oh… right, she thought. She had forgotten for a moment that Tamaki had gone with them.

"I think we will leave you two alone to discuss some things," Kaoru said quickly grabbing Hikaru and dragging him away. As they disappeared back into the car, Haruhi slowly made her way over to Tamaki. He opened his car door for her and she slowly got in.

As they pulled away from the hospital Tamaki sighed, "I'm sorry."

"What are you sorry about?" she said softly.

"For not telling you," he said simply, "I should have told you what happened last week but I…it still hurt too much for me to talk about."

She slowly nodded, understanding now how he felt but… "I still wish you had told me."

"I know," he muttered holding her close, "I'm sorry." As they sat there in almost complete silence Haruhi could feel the emotions emanating from him.

"What was it?" she said softly, "What was it that affected you so much when you saw him?"

Tamaki sat up his hand dropping slowly but he answered, "His eyes. That cold look in his eyes. I've seen it before but I thought…" he said his voice breaking off.

"Tamaki," she said surprised. It took a little while for him to gather himself again, but when he did Haruhi was surprised at what he had to say.

"The first time I met Kyoya…those were the eyes he had. Even though he was smiling while greeting me he still had those distant, empty eyes. And yet," Tamaki said pausing, "I still felt completely comfortable around him despite them. I could tell his true self was trying to break out but it was being reigned in by something. He was unhappy, but I couldn't quite figure out why. At the time I knew he was only helping me because his father was asking him to. But still I kept hoping that he would wake up and lose that cold look. And then one day I went over to his house to see…about a kotatsu," he said smiling, "And he just snapped. And then…that's when you saw the true fire in his eyes and his demeanor became alive. I was hoping that once he started walking and talking and remembering that I would see that again. And I don't know why," Tamaki said, "it just makes me so sad to see that he's fallen back there again. And I am just so afraid…it was pure accident that I broke through the first time. I just don't know if it will happen again…"

"Tamaki you won't be able to help just by ignoring him," she said softly.

"I know," Tamaki said simply, "I just need time, and so does he. I don't know how but time slowly eroded that demeanor and brought it out before. So maybe it will help again."

"Yeah but wasn't it through you constantly being there that helped that too," Haruhi said, "it sounds that through constant, sorry to say this, annoyance, you were able to break that cold exterior of his." Tamaki jolted at that, thinking of how true that actually was. "So, excuse me for saying this but…how does ignoring him and running away from really help him in the end?"

And Tamaki just sat there in stunned silence. The truth was, he had no answer, no rebuke or reply. Because deep down he was starting to realize how true those words were.

(Kyoya)

Kyoya sat there stunned in his hospital bed. He took his glasses off rubbing his eyes sighing deeply. Now that was an interesting thought she had presented him. Could he really afford to try to fight this alone anymore? Where had he gotten since he had dismissed everything? Nowhere. Except sitting here in this bed doing nothing. Regardless of whether he decided to indulge their remembrances or not, his main goal had always been to get back to an acceptable state. He didn't know where that had come from, but that was his goal. And he wasn't about to give up on it now.

TBC

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