Title: Smile Sidefic … Other Mind - Essence

Author: Arithion
Rating: PGish
Genre: Introspective…

Pairing: Tez/Fuji

Chapter: Twelth sidefic/drabble to smile… Takes place during Smile Chapter 42/43
Summary: Tez's mind throughout the course of Smile…

Warning: Nothing really… just SmileTezness and angst and shit…

Other Mind: Essence

There was a time when the event of an eclipse made people run in fear. There was a time when these were seen as phenomenon and not just a fact of what must occur once enough time passes. It goes without saying that objects rotating in circles with different celerity will eventually have to pass another, and in doing so; one will be bound to slightly obscure the other.

In some instances it's the moon from which the suns rays are blocked, and at other times it is a part of the earth that will receive a brief twilight not otherwise foreseen. All in all it is a fact of nature that one will sometimes impede the effectiveness of the other, because there no logical way for it not to.

Lunar, solar and binary eclipses, take your pick. In essence they are all simply the obscuring of one celestial body by another's shadow. But that often isn't enough. Humans seek explanations for things that they don't understand, and strive to complicate matters much more than they ever should be.

In its essence an eclipse is a simple thing. In fact, it is something that's been compounded by the humans who observe it.

Fuji compounds everything one can think about him. I knew he wouldn't take news of me leaving well, and so I found it hard to tell him before telling everyone else. Seeing the look on his face, I do wish I'd told him before, but after that one brief glimpse of his feelings, everything else was closed to me.

There are parts to him that he hides. He hides those parts so well that I don't think even he knows they are there, and I certainly don't think he'd want other people to know either.

With that smile, he becomes that which every person likes to see. He becomes the way a teenager should be. No cares, no worries, just a smiling and happy face that very few people more than glance at.

I didn't realise how far I've pushed him, nor how attached he's become to me. At the same time that it makes me happy, it scares me too. It wasn't until we were in my room that I realised something was more than wrong. His eyes, and his smile were too forced, too fake.

Those kisses almost robbed me of my senses and his hand, their touch, the feel of his skin; none of that helped matters any at all. His very nature is potent, like a mixture of poison I can't help but drink, and I don't think he realises this or he wouldn't have acted the way he did.

I had to stop him, but gods it was hard. I'm not one for fantasies and I rarely remember my dreams, but I can't deny that I've though it over once or twice. As he is so fond of reminding me – I am a teenager and teenagers have hormones, however much I might like to deny it. The look on his face when I pushed him away made my resolve easier.

It's a look I'd never wanted to see directed my way. That calculating, vengeful look almost burning with intensity, stares up at me now, and I wish I'd stopped him sooner.

I never meant to hurt him; I've never wanted that. I'm human though, despite what people may think, and as I look at him now while that resentment starts to melt away, I can see the true Fuji underneath again.

Right here I realise just what his essence is. It's pain. Deep to the core, bound in his soul, etched in his face: pain.

And right now I could kick myself for bringing it to the surface again.

~~**~~

There we go, another Tez insight!!!

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