The votes are in- Ed is more of a trouble maker! Sorry, Mustang; maybe next time.
12. Vacuum Cleaner
If anyone else ate like that, Winry had a feeling that they would be diagnosed with an eating disorder and dragged into therapy. But since it was Ed, no one gave a hoot that he ate like a vacuum cleaner.
The mechanic watched, amused, as Ed swallowed a hunk of beef whole and downed it with a large gulp of water before repeating the process again. "Ed, do you even taste the food?" Winry finally asked as Ed used a piece of bread to sop up the last of the gravy on the plate from his dinner.
"Yes," Ed replied indignantly, mouth full of the bread. She still looked a little shocked by his eating habits, so he swallowed and elaborated. "It's not like you've never seen me eat before, either. And the faster you eat, the more you can eat. It takes your stomach about 20 minutes to tell your brain that it's full, so if you stuff yourself quickly, you get more in," he explained, pointing the fork at her and looking every bit like a college professor.
Winry continued to stare, but finally shook her head. "So that's why you always sleep after you eat? Too full of food?" she joked, deciding to poke some fun at the alchemist.
He scowled and moved the tray to the bedside table. "Yeah, well, what about you? Always ordering salads and worrying about gaining weight. Remember when you freaked out over the five pounds you gained one winter when we kids?"
"Ed! I'm a girl and -"
"Yeah, I'm aware of that."
"- It's natural for me to freak about those things. And it's not like you've never been concerned about your weight!"
Ed frowned. "When did I ever worry about my weight?"
"After you got your automail. Granny had you get on the scale and you forgot that metal weighs more than bone. You thought you'd gained thirty pounds of fat," Winry reminded him, giggling a little. It had been amusing to see a twelve-year-old Edward run screaming from the room and straight outside, where he had begged Al to spar with him to get the extra weight off.
"It took us days to convince you that it was the automail and that you had actually lost some weight during the surgery!" Winry exploded into laughter, voice increasing in volume with every word. Ed was glowering at her and was unconsciously rubbing his right arm.
"It wasn't funny! I was traumatized," he spat, turning red at the memory.
"Sure. You'll take down soulless Homunculi and alchemists trying to blow up the country, get in death duels almost every day, and otherwise put your life on the line, and not even blink. But gaining weight? Oh, no, that'll really put the shivers down your spine and make you hide under the covers." The opportunity was too good to pass up, and the jibe made Edward look away and sink into a sullen silence.
"Ed, you know I'm joking with you right?" she asked quietly when the blonde didn't make a move to shoot an insult back.
The alchemist snorted and ran a hand through his hair. "Yeah, I know. I'm just being angsty and depressed," he replied, giving her a half-hearted smirk.
Winry sighed, leaning back in her chair. "You really need to stop doing that. Or give some sort of warning," she muttered and Ed snorted.
"I'll keep that in mind. Hey, is there anymore food?"
Winry gawked, eyes widened. "Ed, you just had three bowls of beef stew!" she exclaimed, wondering if Ed had more than one stomach. Maybe he's a cow chimera. That would explain a lot.
Ed scowled. "So? I'm still hungry!"
"You know, they should have called you the Vacuum Cleaner Alchemist or something. You sure eat like one."
"WHAT?! Machine junkie!"
"Alchemy freak!"
Outside the door, Al paused with his hand on the knob. He quietly pulled it back into his pocket and left, glad he had not walked in on the two arguing. He didn't know what exactly they were bickering about, but it didn't matter; he wasn't putting any part of his body between those two when they were going at it.
I'm not too pleased with this chapter. The ending flopped and Ed seemed a little... mood-swingy. Eh. I just really wanted to get the "Vacuum Cleaner Alchemist" part in there xD
