Cat's POV
"So you blame him?" She asks confused.
"Um. Sorta. I guess I forgave him after it was to late." I confess.
I held the knife tightly in my hand. Not letting him get closer to me. But he kept trying to convince me to let go of the knife and come to him. That everything was going to be okay.
"But nothing is okay!" I yell to him, holding the knife tighter.
"Cat. Please. Just put it down. Come here. What he did to you, what happened to you, none of it is your fault!" He tells me, in a calm, but scared, voice.
"You don't understand, Robbie! I am not worth it! I am not worth anything. I have hurt you. I have hurt everyone. I shouldn't be here. I should have never been here." I look blankly at the ground, thinking back on everything that I have done to people. Everything that my father has done to me. But my flashbacks soon was stopped by the knife being pulled out of my hand, and Robbie pulling me into a hug. I immediately started crying.. Crying into his chest and we slid to the ground. He pulled me onto his lap, rocking me softly and letting me cry.
"Robbie.." I try to say between sobs.
"It's okay." He whispers, and I continue to cry. I shake my head slowly. It isn't okay. I shouldn't be doing this. I just hurt him. But I thought it was all going to end. So I thought I wouldn't be here right now, crying into his shoulder, while he is holding back his own tears.. all because I hurt him. I felt blood continuing to flow out of my wrist. It was getting on him.
I feel so bad. I didn't know what to do. He lightly pushes my head up with his hand under my chin.
"You are perfect Cat. What he did to you, isn't what you deserved. Ever. You don't need to do this because of him. Or he will win." He says slowly and softly. He stands me up. I feel my head getting light, and my body getting weak.
Black..
I woke up in the guest bedroom. There was a wet rag on my forehead, bandages up and down my arms from all the cuts. Robbie was sitting right there next to me. Watching as I woke up, smiling. I smile slightly at him, but then I remember the situation we are in.
The pain I caused.
I hear, rustling and banging out of the room.
"Who is here?" I whisper.
"Everyone." He says softly.
"Everyone?" I ask, sitting up, and looking at him confused. Then Tori, Andre, Beck, and Jade walk into the room. Smiling slightly, but you could see the pain and worry in there eyes.
"Hey Cat." Tori says softly and unsure. I just smile slightly at her, sitting up all the way, and pushing my knees to my chest. Robbie gets up from the bed. Without a word, Jade, Andre, Robbie and Beck all leave. Leaving me with Tori. She walks up slowly to the side of the bed, two bottles of water in her hand. She hands me one.
"Thanks." I say softly, taking it from her. It was really cold against my hand.
Like my heart.
"Cat.." She says. Looking away, collecting her thoughts.
"Yes?" I ask.
"Why did you do this?" She asks. I feel pain shoot through my body. Her voice was cracking from the pain I had caused her.
"I.. I don't know." I say softly. Almost in a whisper. "I am sorry."
"Don't be sorry, Cat. Just remember... you are hurting more people then just yourself. You are hurting more people then you think. All of us, we are heart broken. Cat, we want you to be happy! Why can't you just be happy?" She seems like she is getting frustrated.. even though I didn't think I said anything to wrong right now.
"It isn't that easy Tori.." I say.
"Why not? You were happy a few weeks ago.. then you are falling apart. What is going on?" She asks. I started to actually get mad.
"No! Actually Tori, I have been 'falling apart' for awhile now! I just was able to hide it. Did you ever even think of that?" I say harshly, but then I start to cry because I was so mean.
"I am sorry." I whisper. "I am really, really sorry.." She pulled me into a hug. I cried into my hands, that relaxed on her shoulder. After a few minuets, after I was done crying, she left. Then in walks Beck.
He looked at me painfully.
"You shouldn't have done this to us." He says when he closes the door.
"I know.. I am sorry." I whisper. Looking down at my hands. The water bottle sat, randomly, in the middle of the bed. Rolling around with each moment from the bed.
"No, Cat! You said sorry last time! When are you just going to stop. You are going to start loosing people if you don't stop this. People care to much to watch you do this, and if we can't stop you... we are going to walk away." He yells. He is mad. I feel tears build up in my eyes.
"Well.. then I guess I will get what I want." I say softly. I just want them to leave so I have no one left to hurt.
"You want us to leave?" I don't say anything.
"You want us out of your life?" He asks. Again, nothing comes out of my mouth.
"Fine. Bye Cat. Call me when you need me.."
He walks out of the room, slamming the door, and I am left, crying into my knees... alone.
Hey guys!:) Did you like this chapter? I know we didn't really get anywhere with this chapter. But we will! I promise! Sorry its kind of a lot of just showing you how her friends feel right now. I just want to do okay with this story!
Review?
God bless~~
Sierraxx
