Chapter 12

Hermione put down her glass and continued to scan her schedule as she ate her breakfast. For most of the morning her table had been almost silent. At first the other students had talked with each other about their new rooms, and all the other changes. But, each time they tried to ask either Blaise or Hermione a question, they were ignored or spoken to tersely, respectively. The tension between the two finally got to everyone, and they simply stopped speaking.

Hermione had seen Draco almost run from the hall. She briefly wondered where he could be headed, but when her eyes met Blaise's her anger at him made her forget Draco all together. With a harrumph she picked up her paper and blocked his face from her view.

One of the first year Slytherins at their table cleared his throat softly and almost whispered, "Um, Hermione? Is Professor Hooch a good teacher?"

Hermione heard the fear in his voice, and wondered if it was because of her actions all morning, or his fear of flying. She closed her eyes and took a breath to calm herself down. It wasn't right of her to take her anger at Blaise out on the rest of the people at the table.

"Yes, Kevin, she is from what I remember. I only had her my first year. What else do you have today?"

xxxxx

You only had her first year, because you can't fly worth a damn, Blaise said peevishly in his head.

He finished his fry-up and looked down at the schedule resting at his elbow. He knew without looking what classes he had been scheduled for, because they were the ones that would fulfill his future Ministry job requirements. The only real question that remained was who else would be in his classes. He knew Greg and Draco would be in many of them, as the requirements for a Ministry job were in a lot of ways similar to those of an auror and Potions Master. But, he wondered about Theo and, even as his stomach jumped a bit at the thought of her name, Pansy. With Theo's law aspirations and Pansy's still undecided plans, he wasn't sure he would see as much of them.

With a small grunt he acknowledged that he should probably try to talk to Pansy. He'd never seen her that angry, or heard her say the things she'd said to him. Spat at me more like.

He turned to see if she was still in the hall and his jaw fell open. She appeared to be quite fine and happy as she talked with Blaise's fiery co-head and her boyfriend. His eyes closed into slits as he watched Potter say something that made both woman laugh, and he wondered how Pansy could so easily turn traitor in only one summer. Turning back to his table he frowned at the now more relaxed conversations taking place.

When he heard Hermione laugh at the antics of one of the younger children, he almost found it infectious and felt the urge to smile, but fought it back. She was the cause of all the troubles he was having. She had turned Pansy against him somehow. She had also done something to Draco, of that, he was sure. It just wasn't like his friend to act the way he had been acting. Theoretically, he knew it was the things Draco had suffered and the lessons he'd had to learn all summer that were really to blame, but Blaise needed something solid to blame. Hermione Granger.

She and her kind had insinuated themselves into the magical culture and acted as if they belonged. In the past it had been so much easier to hate her, as they waited for her façade to crack. She was a blight on society, a freak of nature, a smart, pretty, witty, friendly, powerful witch, who shouldn't be all those things. Knowing in his heart she couldn't be real, he settled on the fact that she was a fake, a fraud. She wasn't possible because she was not from a magical family and she would break. She wasn't as good as he was because she was a muggleborn. Simple. If she had been born to the right family, then maybe she would have been considered someone to admire, but…Pansy's words from the previous evening washed over him once more and he grimaced.

With a frustrated sigh he again focused on his schedule and tried to block out the annoying sounds of happiness around him. But, he couldn't concentrate. He kept hearing Pansy's words, seeing Granger's disappointed eyes and Draco's tired ones, and feeling the disgust aimed at him by the Weaslette when she'd brushed by him and gone upstairs to slam her door shut for the evening. Greg's responses hadn't bothered him as much, as the man had always had his own opinions on things. He just usually kept them to himself. Blaise knew Greg well, and the man did nothing halfway. When he'd decided to hate Potter and his group of followers, he'd gone at it with zeal. Now, that he'd changed his mind on things, he would be just as voracious in efforts, but on the other side.

No, it was Pansy and Draco that most worried him. Well, mostly, because a part of him wondered at his own zeal in hating them. He was honest enough to admit to himself that questions he didn't know the answers to had plagued him all night. The chief amongst them, if he was so sure of his own superiority, why did he feel so threatened by their mere existence? He didn't understand why he was so bothered by it all.

The bells sounded to signal the end of breakfast and the arrival of their first day back to class. With a grunt of relief Blaise grabbed his things and strode out of the hall. He couldn't wait until his half hour with Professor Snape on Wednesday. He knew his Head of House would help him get his thoughts straight.

xxxxx

With his gloved hands covered in pus from the bubotuber they had been squeezing for the past half hour, Draco wondered once again why he wanted to work in Potions. Herbology was a tedious, disgusting subject, and he hated the feeling of the gooey substance even through his thick gloves.

"There can't be this much acne in all of Great Britain!" he mumbled to himself.

Luna said softly from across the table, "They're useful for other things, too. Acne is only the most widely known use. It's also quite useful for severe bayi gegabah."

Draco stared blandly at her, but Blaise laughed loudly, "You almost had a full real thought there for a minute, Loony."

Parvati looked at him sharply, "You know, I think someone needs to squeeze more and talk less, before their complete ignorance is fully realized."

Theo snickered and Parvati looked over at him ready to once again defend her friend. But, she found him looking at Blaise instead. He turned his head and smiled at her before he ducked his head and went back to squeezing.

Blaise sputtered, "What? Loony makes up some stupid thing like biyugogobee, and I'm the idiot? I think not! I have no idea how that hat put someone like you in Ravenclaw. Aren't they supposed to be intelligent?"

Draco shook his head in wonder and fought to keep his smirk from showing as he answered, "Blaise, Luna is actually right. Bayu gegabah is Indonesian for baby rash."

"Huh?" Luna asked in shock. At the same time, Parvati stepped closer to Luna and demanded, "What are you playing at, Malfoy?"

Not only had Draco been correct, but he had also defended Luna AND called her by name.

Draco almost winced at the hard edge to her voice, but was able to control his features as he glanced up at Parvati coolly. He stared at her for a second before he raised a brow at her and then turned to Luna.

"And, where did you learn Indonesian?" he asked the girl who stared at him with wide, round eyes.

She shook her head slowly, but her eyes never left his, "I don't know it," she breathed. "It's what my father always called it. How do you know it? And, why did you say my name?"

"Yeah?" both Theo and Parvati asked at the same time. They glanced at each other, blushed a bit, smiled and looked back at Draco.

Draco shrugged and looked back down at the squirming tuber in his hand, "Just seems a might childish to me to call people names. I mean, we all know Luna's…um…"

"Eccentric?" Theo provided.

"Yeah, that," Draco nodded a thanks at Theo and turned back to look at Blaise to continue his reprimand. "I mean, we're adults. When do we start acting like it?"

"Thank you," Luna breathed with a smile. "Maybe we could…"

Parvati cut her off, "Okay, what the heck is going on here, Malfoy?"

Theo interjected quietly, "Maybe, Ms. Patil, Draco is simply tired of all the petty sniping and name calling. I know I am."

Luna smiled at Blaise, "You kind of remind me of a fly with your eyes all bugged out like that."

Draco coughed to cover his laugh. Theo ducked his head again to hide his smile. Parvati laughed out loud. And, Blaise simply sputtered.

When he'd gained control of his tongue, he took off his gloves, threw them on the table and stalked away as he said over his shoulder, "I will not stay partnered with brainwashed fools, idiots and stupid Gryffindors! Professor Sprout, I demand a new group!"

Draco sighed heavily and tried to concentrate on the job at hand. He wasn't sure why he had felt the need to open his mouth. He was strangely okay with the words he'd thought and the feelings associate with them. Am I really brainwashed?

"There's nothing wrong with you," Theo murmured his voice soft enough for only Draco to hear over the normal classroom noise. Still, Draco glanced up to see if Parvati and Luna were listening. They weren't, as they seemed to be engrossed in a conversation of their own.

"I don't know what you mean," Draco said quietly back.

Theo laughed softly, "Yeah, right. I know you, remember? I know that look, Draco. And, no, you haven't been brainwashed. I had the same therapy sessions this summer, you know. Most of us have."

"So, Mr. Brilliant, why do you think some of us seem to still be the same and others of us…?" Draco asked.

"Have matured?" Theo supplied. "Maybe because some of us just needed change more than others; I know I did. I was never all that involved in all the petty squabbles around here like you were. But, I did find myself getting pulled into things rather easily a time or two; and, never really because I wanted to, just because everyone else was. Over the summer I decided that this year I would be me. And, maybe find out if I ever had any real friends here. People who like me for who I am will continue to do so, whether I always side with them or not. Those that no longer want to associate with me were never really my friends."

Draco once again heard Ginny Weasley's words to Pansy the night before, No more hiding. You are who you are and people will accept it or not. He wasn't sure if it was Theo's loss of control the night before or his words afterward, but Draco knew Theo had changed, too. It made him feel closer to the man who'd barely been a blip on his radar before. He also knew there had been no one else around to talk to about these things. Blaise surely wasn't approachable. Draco wasn't close enough to Pansy to talk about his feelings. And, he didn't feel quite right about asking Greg. But, he suddenly felt the need to ask the question that had been bugging him for a long while. And, he thought Theo, who had also been through therapy, might not only understand his question, but also not laugh at him for asking it.

"Theo? How can you be so sure it's your own thoughts and feelings and not something they planted or something?"

Theo shrugged and took off his gloves, "I guess I'm not, really. But, I don't care because whether they put it there for me to think about, or I decided it on my own, it feels right. And, I'm just so very tired of always feeling wrong."

Before Draco could respond Parvati looked up at them. "Nott, we're not done here."

He laughed a little, "Well, my bladder doesn't know that."

Parvati blushed, "Oh, well."

He winked at her, "And, my name is Theodore, Ms. Patil. Theo for short."

Draco snickered when she nodded dumbly. Theo wasn't normally much of a ladies' man, but he seemed to have flustered the pretty, Indian girl. Guess she likes the nerdy type.

He actually allowed a small smile when Luna answered for her, "And, she's Parvati. But, all her friends call her Vati. And, she's a pureblood, in case that helps."

"Luna!" Parvati squeaked.

But, Theo just smiled, nodded, and walked away with a bit of swagger to his step. Parvati's eyes followed him across the room, over to Professor Sprout, and then out of the door.

When the door closed she rounded on her friend, "I can't believe you just said that, Luna!"

Luna shrugged and smiled as she pulled off her gloves and watched the remaining tubers squirm around, "Well, Vati, you two seem to be getting on. And, you know how Slytherins are, if you aren't a pureblood, you don't count as human. So, I thought it might help."

Neither noticed Draco's wince at the slight, as they continued their conversation, his presence momentarily forgotten. Parvati pulled her gloves off and put her hands on her hips, "And, what if I don't care what he thinks?"

"But, you do," Luna said with a smile that was wiser than was normally associated with her.

"No, I…what makes you think that…I, mean, do you think he…" Parvati sputtered.

Just then Professor Sprout called out that class was nearing its end. Both women moved off to clean up and Draco missed the rest of the conversation. He looked around for Blaise and saw the man across the room staring at him with a mixed look of confusion and anger. With a blank face Draco cleaned up his area and made his way out of the classroom. It didn't surprise him when Blaise fell in step beside him; angry or not, they were friends. The thought almost made Draco smile.

xxxxx

New Professor Nymphadora Tonks smiled at the nervous, young woman across the desk from her. She was very happy to have found a place at Hogwarts after the past few years of strife, and she was eager to do her part to help with the aftermath of the war. Even though she was now a wife and mother, she wasn't much older than the students and hoped she would be able to relate to the students in a way the older teachers couldn't. She hoped it would assist her in helping the fighters and sufferers of the war, like the dark-haired beauty in front of her heal.

"Ms. Parkinson," she began her introductory speech, "these sessions are for you and about you. I know you have no reason to believe it or trust me, but I promise you, anything we say to each other here goes no further."

When Pansy simply nodded and stared at her with wide, dark blue eyes, Tonks smiled softly and thought about how to break the ice. With an idea in her head she continued her speech.

"Each student will have a half hour every two weeks to talk with a professor that they will hopefully grow comfortable talking freely with, so that they can get out any residual thoughts and feelings they have about the war, or how things are now, or whatever they want to talk about that session. So, this time is yours to say or ask anything you please without fear of any kind of repercussions."

Pansy watched in fascination as the professor's hair slowly turned from it's pale yellow to dark green to vivid pink to a slightly sick-looking orange to a midnight blue and finally to a bright rainbow of colors. Tonks smiled as Pansy's eyes widened with each change.

"Is there anything you want to talk about today? Do you have any questions?"

"Professor Tonks, how do you do that?" Pansy breathed in awe.

Tonks laughed a deep, rich laugh that surprised Pansy enough to make her smile and relax a bit.

"First off, it's Tonks, just Tonks. At least in here with just the two of us, okay?

When Pansy nodded, she added, "May I call you Pansy?"

"Sure," Pansy agreed with a nod.

"Okay, so to answer your question, no idea, really. I just think it and it happens. So, Pansy, did you have anything you wanted to talk about?"

Pansy shook her head, but found herself blurting, "What's it like to be part of The Order?"

Tonks watched Pansy's face drain of color after her question and rushed to alleviate the younger witch's fear. She stood up, rounded the desk, and conjured a chair next to Pansy's. "Relax. As I said, whatever we say is between us. And, to establish a rule that will help us both, how about we agree that we both have the right to not answer things we don't feel comfortable answering, just yet?"

Pansy hung her head, "Of course, Professor. I am sorry."

"Tonks," she gently reminded her. "And, I wasn't chastising you, I just meant, you can ask me anything, and I can ask you anything. We just both have the right to not answer. And, it's exciting and scary, but rewarding. I was and am a very proud member of The Order. What else would you like to know?"

At the end of their half hour, Tonks wasn't sure what to make of their time. She knew Pansy was more comfortable with her, but she didn't know if they had gotten anywhere. Most of the time had been spent with Pansy asking questions about Tonks' role in the war and her feelings on it, her relationship with her husband, Professor Remus Lupin, and her young son Teddy. With a small sigh she leaned forward to reach for her notepad and quill, so that she could make notes on their meeting.

xxxxx

Pansy shut the door behind her softly, looked to make sure no one was coming down the hall, and then leaned back against the door with a heavy sigh of relief. A smile slowly crept up on her face as she closed her eyes and thought back over the past half hour. She felt like she had accomplished the greatest of feats. She, Pansy Parkinson, pureblood and Slytherin, the woman who had almost gotten Harry Potter killed, had gotten to sit and just talk to not only one of the greatest Aurors in the world, but also one of the leading members of The Order.

She pushed away from the door and almost skipped down the hall. With a rush of happiness Pansy realized she had an hour before her first class, Basic Medical Aide with Ginny, and that Millicent would be out of their room since she was in class. She mentally patted herself on the back for not signing up for Care of Magical Creatures again. She didn't dislike the teacher, Hagrid, like most of her fellow Slytherins. Pansy thought he was actually very sweet in a goofy kind of way. She just never quite understood his fascination with creatures that could and would rip your head off for simply looking them in the eye.

A giggle escaped her lips as she remembered Draco "insulting" a hippogriff a few years back and being attacked by the thing. Then she remembered that her new friends, Ginny and Hermione, had ridden the beastly creatures and reminded herself to ask them what it had been like sometime. Her smile widened at the word 'friends' as she said the password to enter the Slytherin common room. She barely noticed the occupants of the room as she headed to the small kitchenette for some juice with the intention of taking the glass up to her room so that she could read a book Hermione had recommended.

As she poured her glass she thought back over her new goals. Be herself and let people see the real Pansy. So far, so good. Make new friends. Check and double check, thankfully. Find a way to somehow get closer to Ron. She was still unsure on that one. She didn't want it to look like she had befriended Ginny and Hermione just to get near Ron, as that was in no way true, so she wasn't quite sure how to go about that one. And, besides, she still had to figure out how she was going to get out of her engagement to Draco.

She placed her glass in the sink and watched it vanish. She then began humming as she reminded herself that she hadn't been placed in Slytherin for nothing. She just had to find a way to make him realize he didn't want to be with her. That would mean he would have to very much want to be with someone else. So much so that he would be willing to break with centuries of tradition, potentially ruin his mother's future plans, and prove to be far braver than he'd ever been before. The song clogged in Pansy's throat as she realized the practically insurmountable odds she faced. With a shake of her head she forced herself to think of the potential positive outcomes.

She could have friends, actual trusted, close friends. She could get the man of her dreams and one day become Mrs. Pansy Weasley. She could have a future so much happier than her past. If only she could find just the right witch for Draco, then she would be free. With that in mind, the muggle song, Freedom, once again hummed in her throat.

xxxxxx

Stella: Glad you are still with me. Thanks!

dragonsgirl: Thank you so much. I am really glad you are enjoying the charactizations and their growth. And, I am glad you like the rants, as there are others coming. lol I am sure Draco will lose his shirt at some point. ;-)

Dreamweaver: Thanks, hon. Wouldn't we all love to have the ability to read people better…sigh. You know, I never thought much about her actual hairdo. I just figured it was shinier and less frizzy, maybe pulled up on the sides. And, I didn't give any of the Slytherins reactions to her on purpose. Greg is already half in love with her, but like a normal guy, wouldn't notice. Draco has far too much going on to notice or care about Hermione's hair and makeup routine. And, Blaise…just too angry to see much of anything. Again, sigh… :-)

Yes, I would say this is the first time Pansy has stood up to ANYONE. She is finally starting to come into her own and stretching her wings. Yes, our Draco is a virgin. I am pretty sure he won't be by the end of the story, but that may be in the second part of the story. Hmmm

I am so glad you liked the Professor Burbage stuff. I was worried that many wouldn't remember it from the book. lol

I will have to go find your Lucius/Hermione story. I am just getting to those. I read the Snape/Hermione section first and am now moving on to Luscious, uh, I mean Lucius. tee hee hee

margaritama: Thank you for your kind words! I look forward to more of your thoughts

kazfeist: As always, thank you!