AN: I know it was cruel of me to wait this long to update, I'm sorry, I suddenly found myself knee deep in things that needed doing before I could sit and have five minutes to write :) I had lots of reviews stating what you all wanted to happen next and I have tried to adhere to as many of them as I can, this was incredibly difficult to write and I really didn't realise how twisted I was until I re-read it so, here goes :)
*WARNING: Graphic depictions of violence and abuse of a minor in this chapter, if this offends you then please, please don't read it. You have been warned :(
Chapter 12 – MR P POV
I sit in the car watching the rain splatter against the wind-shield. The lights are on in their apartment and Chloe left about a half hour ago, I'm just waiting for the opportunity to present itself so I can go in. Considering just buzzing somebody else's doorbell and saying it's a surprise visit, my saviour drives up in the form of a Pizza Delivery guy. I can't believe my luck quickly jogging across the street and catching the door before it can shut. I catch sight of Aubrey's name on top of the delivery notice and stop the guy so I can pay him and take the pizza, telling him my wife was the one who ordered it. He seems pleased to hand it over and not have to navigate all the stairs with the boxes. This is just too easy, they're so close I can almost feel my palms tingling in anticipation of the first slap. Knocking on the door I hold the pizza in front of the peep hole so as Aubrey can't see me. I love the way her face falls when she throws the door open.
My hand flies to her mouth stopping her from screaming and gently guiding her into the apartment I close the door.
"If I hear one noise from you then you'll regret it. Is she here? Nod for yes." I can feel her lips quivering behind my hand as she nods her head.
"If you so much as whisper I'll take it all out on her, do you understand me? She gets punished for your mistakes." Her eyes widen as she nods again and starts to silently sob. I smile, slowly moving my hand from her face and shoving the pizza box at her. I can see her hands shaking as she takes it.
"Where is your fuse box Aubrey Rose?" She points to the hall closet and turns to leave but I grab hold of her wrist. "Not a word, you hear me? She isn't to know I'm here. We wouldn't want to scare her would we..."
*************************************SPOV**************************************
I curl in on myself, crouching down, wrapping my arms round my knees, head tucked into my chest, making myself as small as physically possible, praying I won't be seen. I know it won't work, it never does. I don't know when I start rocking back and forth but a rough hand in my hair stops me. He yanks my head back until I'm looking at him, his smile sends shivers through me. Leaning right into my face I can smell the alcohol on his breath.
"Boo."
I can still hear Aubrey screaming at him, but it's like I'm underwater. Everything sounds distorted and far away. My eyes tear up, my breathing turning into heaving sobs as he drags me out of the closet by my hair. He's pulling so hard I fall to my hands and knees when he finally lets go. I begin to curl up again, but his boot making contact with my stomach stops me. I hear a slap, but I don't feel it. Thinking he must have hit Aubrey, I look up to check she's okay. What I see stops the dull roaring in my ears immediately. Aubrey stands, her hand still in the air, facing our father who has a red hand print on his cheek. His fists are shaking with rage, his eyes practically on fire, the burning gaze trained on Bree. Her hands shake for an entirely different reason, her eyes shocked, like she can't believe what she's just done.
His fist soars toward her face, like I'm seeing it in slow-motion. I hear the almighty crack as it makes contact, she's unconscious before she even hits the floor. I can't take my eyes off her even though I know he's staring at me. I can feel his glare, hear his boots as he gets closer. I don't even flinch as he grabs my wrist, pulling me so hard I feel my elbow jerk in its socket. My gaze is still focussed on my sister, lying sprawled out on her bedroom floor. A second hard pull on my arm has me screaming in pain, I know the joint is complaining, and so does he. My gaze flicks to his face, seeing the sinister smirk there I quickly avert my eyes, screwing them shut to prepare for what's coming. I feel my arm slacken before he tugs it hard, pulling me to the floor but keeping a hold of my wrist. I hear the sickening pop as my elbow dislocates, my scream echoing around the silent apartment for little more than a second before his hand muffles the sound.
"Sh sh sh little princess. We wouldn't want any nosy neighbours to hear now would we. What would they think of you if they found out? How much would they judge you? Only just got here and already causing such a disturbance. Most of them don't even know your name now why should they care what's happening to you behind closed doors?"
He's right of course. The only neighbour I know is Mrs George from next door and that was only because Beca had asked her to keep an ear out and check on me one afternoon when I was alone for a while. Why should they care what's going on ? For all they know we're just watching a horror movie really loud. I choke back my sobs, nodding my head to let him know I won't make any more noise. I pray that neither Chloe or Beca comes home before he's done. I dread to think what he would do to them if he's interrupted. My train of thought is broken by him pulling me up by my other arm this time, pulling me towards the radiator. He produces a Bella scarf and ties my hand to the heater, the metal scalds my skin when they touch and I hiss in pain as he pulls the knot tight.
Whimpering in fear, I watch him trudge back over to Aubrey, checking she's still out cold. Satisfied that she is he leaves the room, I can hear something clattering in the kitchen but don't even want to think of what it could be. My eyes are trained on Bree, stuck between wanting her to wake up and save us or stay asleep, blissfully unaware of what he's going to do. I don't notice he's back until the chair he's carrying thuds against the floor. He picks Bree up, unceremoniously dropping her into the dining chair and tying her arms to the chair with Beca's braided auxiliary cables then tying one of her Jack leads around Bree's torso rendering her immobile for when she comes round.
"Now, we wait, little princess. Because I think your dear sister will want to see this show. She'll want to see what a sorry excuse of a human being you are. I bet you didn't tell her how you broke after she left did you? How you did the one thing you promised never to do. How you would cry yourself to sleep, how you let me do whatever I pleased with you? Did you tell her? Is it a secret? Huh little princess? Does she know how her precious baby sister would bend to my will without so much as a whimper of protest? How you did whatever I told you too, how you would get on your knees and worship me? Does she know what you did princess?"
I know he's trying to get a rise out of me, I know he's winding me up. But I can't help it, it works. And he knows it does. No matter how tightly I screw my eyes shut I can still hear his horrible rumbling voice, speaking the words that taunt me, words of my nightmares. And he won't stop. Not until I give him what he wants. He said he would wait but he doesn't have the patience. He's goading me into reacting so he can punish me. He wants to hurt me. I can still hear him. His words that hurt almost as much as his fists, biting into my mind, shattering the carefully constructed walls.
"STOP IT! STOP CALLING ME THAT! STOP IT! Please just stop.."
I can't look at him. I know what I'll see, the triumphant smirk, the mirth and anger flickering in his eyes. He won this round, he got what he wanted.
"What did you just say to me? Look at me."
I screw my eyes shut even tighter, refusing to give in to his orders. Desperate to prove his taunting words wrong. I hear him as he moves, feel his breath on my face as he stands right in front of me. Flinching as he grabs my chin and forces me to face him,
"Look at me." I keep my eyes closed, although I'm shaking now. I will not give in. His grip gets even tighter and he jerks my head in his grip causing me to almost fall.
"I SAID LOOK AT ME!" I cough out a sob, screwing my eyes tighter still. I don't know where this defiance has come from and I can't decide whether it's brave or stupid. I'm surprised when he lets go and I hear him move away. I want to open my eyes, to see what he's doing but then he wins. The fear that plagues me doubles when I hear a slap. My eyes shoot open but he's not even facing me anymore. He's bent over Aubrey slapping her face, causing her to stir and come round.
"Don't! Please! I'm looking! Please! Please don't!" He moves so that I can see Aubrey, holding her chin, forcing her to look at me as he slaps her again.
"This was your choice little princess. You wanted to do it the hard way. Maybe you'll learn by your mistakes."
His leg comes back and he kicks the chair causing it to fall. The crash as it hits the floor is almost deafening. It jolts Bree awake and knocks the wind out of her simultaneously. She struggles as he picks up the chair again. My scared eyes meet her green ones, pleading with her to go along with anything he says.
"So nice of you to join us again Aubrey Rose. Did you have a nice sleep?" He strokes his knuckles down her cheek, smiling at the way she flinches away from him.
"Now that you're awake, how about we play a little game hmm? Yes? Here are the rules, every time you disobey me or do something I don't like, I'm going to punish your sister. Every time you answer back or scream, I'm going to punish her. Do you understand the rules?" She doesn't respond. It's clearly not what he wants because he leaves the room, coming back with a packet of cigarettes. He lights one and comes to stand next to me, looking at Bree.
"Aubrey Rose, I asked if you understood the rules?" Her tears run down her cheeks but still she doesn't respond. He pulls the collar of my shirt aside so he can see my collar bone.
"You have one last chance Aubrey Rose. Do. You. Understand." He's moved the cigarette close enough that I can feel the heat coming off the end. I whimper and plead as he holds me still, his muscled thigh holding me against the radiator, one arm holding me still the other bringing the offending object closer and closer, it barely grazes my skin as a sob.
"YES! YES I UNDERSTAND! LET HER GO! PLEASE!" he laughs and presses the cigarette into the base of my neck. I try not to scream, I really do but it fights its way out. Tears stream down my face, stinging when they make contact with the tiny circular burn.
"Maybe next time you'll answer me quicker Aubrey Rose." I feel him grab my chin, forcing me to look at her through my tears. His tone is low and menacing causing me to shiver as he speaks to her.
"You did this Aubrey Rose. Look at what you did to her." I try to shake my head but he's holding it still. I feel him start to untie the scarf around my wrist only to throw me over his shoulder and carry me to the bed. Throwing me down he pulls my good arm to the headboard, tying it there before I can even flinch away.
"Now lets hope you've learned your lesson. Aubrey, I'm going to let you out. If you run, I'll use this on her" I lift my head to see him holding his belt buckle and can't suppress the shudder that overtakes my body. "If you scream I'll use this on her, If you try to free her she'll get it twice as bad. Do you understand?" She must have nodded because I can hear shuffling and the sound of cables hitting the floor.
"Now, go and kneel next to your sister on the bed." I hear her move and the bed dip to my left as she kneels there. "Good girl, now why don't you show Sarah how much you love her."
I see Aubrey frown at his request. She wasn't around when he started 'showing me his love'. Her confusion is clear so he leans over to show her. I shrink back as much as I can, trying to get away as his breath fans across my face. His strong fingers grip my chin keeping me still as he leans in, his rough chapped lips landing on top of mine. His tongue licks across my bottom lip but I refuse to open my mouth to him. I can hear Aubrey sobbing next to me as he finally gets back up.
"Now, Show Sarah how much you love her Aubrey Rose." I see her shake her head, unable to speak after what she just witnessed. "Aubrey have you forgotten the rules already?" She leans down so fast our noses bump together as she kisses me. It's not as bad when she does it but it still feels wrong. I hate him more now than I ever have before. I see him adjust his trousers out of the corner of my eye and it makes me want to gag. His smile is sickening.
"Well done. Wasn't that nice Sarah? You see how your sister loves you? Why don't you say Thank you? She has been looking after you for so long now, she deserves a little reward." I choke on my sobs, trying not to cry for Aubrey. I'm shaking all over now, struggling to make my voice work.
"Thank-you Bree. Thank you for letting me stay, and thank you for loving me so much. I'm so glad I'm here. How can I ever repay you." The words are monotone, like I'm reading from a script. Exactly how I've been trained to say them.
"What do you think Aubrey? What should we have her do? If we were at home I would have her play for me but you don't have a piano. I do love hearing her play for hours, she plays to me while I work, don't you Sarah?"
I nod as his hand strokes my face. I remember the last time I 'played'. He tied my ankle to the piano bench and told me if I stopped playing he would whip me. He made me play for hours on end, windows open, fingers freezing and stiff, falling asleep at the bench. It was horrible. I used to love playing but I hadn't touched my piano since then.
"I know. Aubrey, wouldn't you love to see Sarah dance? I brought your shoes with me Sarah. What do you say? A special dance for your sister, for letting you stay here?"
I nod again. He leaves the room, telling Aubrey to untie my hand whilst he fetches my shoes from his bag in the living room. He sits with Bree on the bed whilst I tie them, his eyes are eager and excited, he's never seen me dance. He's taking away the last thing I have. He already took my music, my only escape was when I danced around the empty guest house, but I don't think I'll be doing it again anytime soon. He frowns when I just stand there.
"Why aren't you moving Sarah? Are you not grateful for being allowed to stay here?" I'm quick to nod, trying to stop him getting too angry.
"I was waiting to see if you wanted music sir. A dance looks better with music in the background. Aubrey Might enjoy it more if it has the full effect." I shiver at my words. I hate trying to please him but it's either that or suffer the consequences. His smile is back, making my stomach roll. He stands and walks over to Aubrey's music collection. Picking out a Chopin CD and setting it up to play. I don't have much space to move, but I try my best. I'm amazed at how flexible I still am, even after not dancing for almost a year. He watches me, transfixed for what feels like hours, but in reality is probably only minutes before he stops me.
"Sarah. We can't see you moving properly with that baggy shirt on. Don't you have something more appropriate to wear." I shake my head, I'd only brought a backpack with the essentials with me, and leotards, shorts and sports bras weren't essential. His expression darkens before he grabs my arm and throws me at Aubrey. He grabs my ankles one at a time, smirking at me as I try to struggle, and pulls my shoes off my feet. My struggling turns into kicking, I freeze as I make contact with his leg. I know there wasn't enough power behind it to have actually hurt him but that doesn't matter. I just kicked him and I can see the fury starting to grow in his eyes. His hands twitch, as if he wants to hit me but thinks better of it. He undoes his belt, pulling it through the loops on his trousers with a swish then holding the buckle end and flicking making the leather crack. Both Aubrey and I flinch at the sound.
I feel him grab my calf and roll me over, I hear the crack of the leather before I feel it. Like a flame lighting up the back of my thighs, I wish Chloe had put Trousers on me rather than shorts. I can hear Aubrey sobbing but she doesn't move. Only her hand stroking through my hair lets me know she's sorry. None of this is her fault. I should never have run away. I made him this angry, not her. Another crack has me sobbing into Bree's legs. My thighs are on fire, he stops to rub his hands over them, I choke down my cry of pain. I daren't move for fear of what he'd do to Aubrey if I disobeyed him. I feel his fingers slide my shirt up my back, grabbing the waistband of my shorts and pulling them down to reveal my panties underneath. I hear Aubrey gasp but this is nothing new to me. I'm ashamed that she's seeing me like this, I never wanted anyone to know. His hand moves to the middle of my back holding me still as he brings the buckle down on the very tops of my thighs just before the line of my underwear. I cry out, the wetness on my leg alerts me to the fact he's broken the skin.
"Keep her quiet. If she makes one more noise it's going to get worse. The last thing we need is nosy neighbours right now Aubrey Rose." I feel her shaking hands stroke down my face, coming to rest over my mouth holding in my cries and sobs. I know she's doing this for my benefit but I can't help the tiny niggling feeling of betrayal that rises up inside me. I know I would do the same to her if it meant saving her from any pain, but I'm in too much pain myself to be rational at the moment. He brings the belt down again, stopping to slick his hands through the droplets of blood on my leg, wiping them off on my cheek.
"Count Aubrey Rose." I hear her sob and count as the blows continue to rain down on my sore legs and back. I lose track after six, my brain too foggy to keep up anymore. When he finally stops he rolls me over, pressing me down into the mattress and straddling my waist. He jerks my dislocated arm making me scream into Aubrey's hand and I welcome the black dots that invade my vision, slowly taking me over, relieving some of the pain. I'm aware of being carried somewhere and put down on something cold and hard. A sudden jet of freezing cold water chases away the blackness I was waiting to take me. I splutter as it burns my airways when I accidentally breathe it in.
"That's a good little princess, stay awake for daddy." He lifts me out of the tub onto the bathroom floor stroking my hair, holding me to his chest. This is another of his games. He likes to play Daddy, he likes me to act like a little girl for him to comfort and he'll make me feel all better. The caring touches and fake comfort is almost worse than when he's hitting me, but still I play along. I hope if I play along it won't hurt as bad, I can keep him from losing his temper again and Aubrey can phone the police or Beca or Chloe. Anybody, I just want somebody to save me from his torment.
"Don't cry princess. Daddy's got you, you're safe now. Lets go and get you changed out of these wet things before you catch your death of cold, hey?" He carries me to Beca's room and rummages for something I can wear. I can't help but wonder where Aubrey is, but I don't ask for fear of making him angry. He turns holding another shirt and underwear.
"There we go princess. Lift your arms for daddy, Good girl. Carefully now, we don't want to hurt you more." I lift my left arm letting him take off my shirt over my head then maneuver it over my right arm leaving me in just underwear. He guides the new shirt over my arm and head letting it fall before slipping his fingers into the elastic of my panties and sliding them off under the cover of the shirt. He crouches down helping me step into the fresh ones and pulls them up for me. I'm trying desperately not to cry and scream. I hate myself for letting him do this.
"Wh-what are you doing?" I can't look up at Aubrey standing in the doorway. I can hear the shock in her voice and can't bear to see the shame that will be in her eyes. "Sarah? What's he doing?"
"Be quiet Aubrey Rose. Can't you see you're upsetting your baby sister." I can't hold back my sobs anymore, they claw their way out of my chest, I'm shaking so much I think I would fall if he wasn't holding me to his chest. One hand starts to run through my hair, the other rubbing small circles on my back, successfully holding me to him so I can't escape.
"Please tell me you didn't... You didn't touch her! Sarah, please tell me he didn't!"
"THAT'S ENOUGH AUBREY ROSE! IF YOU CAN'T HOLD YOUR TONGUE THEN I WILL TEACH YOU HOW!" Her face goes white and her teeth click with the speed her mouth closes. "Now, come in here and sit down. My little princess is tired and she needs to go to bed but I want to keep an eye on you." Her confusion at the nickname he uses is clear but she does as she's told. He leads me to the bed, pulling back the covers then tucking me in on my front so as not to hurt my legs. Pulling the quilt over me he tucks me in then sits next to me on the double bed and starts to pat my bottom, like you would to calm a baby. It's humiliating having Aubrey see me like this but the fight has gone out of me, it's been squashed by the feeling of self-preservation.
He starts to sing, much as I hate to admit it, both Aubrey and I got our ability to sing from our father. His low dulcet tones used to lull us into the deepest of sleeps before this all started, before Mikey died. It seems that he never lost the ability because before I can stop myself, I'm yawning and my eyes are closing, my eyelids feel heavy as lead. I can faintly hear Bree sobbing, but can't find it in myself to care. I'm suddenly at peace, Four years old again falling asleep with my daddy singing me a lullaby, My mind has reverted in order to keep me safe. I welcome sleep as it beckons me into it's clutches, freeing me from this hell, at least for a little while...
***************************APOV****************************************************
I walk up to see my father helping Sarah into a pair of panties. My mind immediately flies to the worst case scenario, I cannot believe he would touch her like that. But what surprises me more is the glaze over her eyes. He's murmuring things to her, holding her like he wants to comfort her, she's stiff as a board, alerting me to the fact she's severely uncomfortable with the position, but it confuses me.
"Wh-what are you doing?" She won't look at me but I see her cheeks flush faintly with embarrassment. "Sarah? what's he doing?"
His rage filled eyes flick to my face, his cheeks turning pink with Anger. "Be quiet Aubrey Rose. Can't you see you're upsetting your baby sister?" I'm shocked by what he says. I can hear her gut wrenching sobs from where I stand across the room, she's slowly losing her grip on reality and it's all his fault. She's retreating into herself, letting panic take over. I can only think of one thing that would make her this fragile, this scattered.
"Please tell me you didn't... You didn't touch her! Sarah, please tell me he didn't!" I can't keep the tears from falling down my face. If he laid so much as a finger on her I'll kill him. I see him clutch her to his chest tighter, rubbing circles on her back and mock comforting her.
"THAT'S ENOUGH AUBREY ROSE! IF YOU CAN'T KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT THEN I WILL TEACH YOU HOW!" I shut my mouth so fast my teeth bash together but the ache barely registers as I watch him coo in her ears. "Now, come in here and sit down. My little princess is tired and she needs to go to bed but I want to keep an eye on you." My eyes widen as I make my way over to Beca's desk chair. He hasn't called her Princess since she was about three years old. He was always telling her that was what her name meant, she was his miracle, his princess that's why he named her Sarah. He's talking about her like she's still that little baby, treating her like a child. His demeanour completely changes as he walks her to the bed and tucks her in. I watch with narrowed, suspicious eyes as he sits next to her, but his actions genuinely shock me. He starts to treat her as one would a tiny baby, patting her and singing to her. It's been years since I have heard him sing, I had forgotten that he could. I can't hold back my own sobs any longer. Seeing my sister being treated this way and not knowing what to do or how to help. It's demeaning for her to be seen like this, it's not easy to watch either but the fact that she knows how to play along, how to keep him happy makes me wander how long he's been treating her this way. How long she's been like this.
I can't watch any longer, turning away only to see the flashing red lights of Beca's alarm clock, 2:15am. Beca's shift changed fifteen minutes ago, she should be home any minute. I hope she got my text, I really hope she doesn't come here without somebody to help her deal with all this, she can hold her own but dad is huge and she's just so little. I couldn't bear for her to be hurt too. I'm not particularly religious but in that moment I pray. To any God who will listen, I pray for Sarah, I pray that justice will be served, I pray to be found, to be saved from this hell of a night. I just hope that somebody... anybody up there is listening...
AN: so as I said at the start I found this really difficult to write which is why I'm being mean and splitting it into two chapters instead of all at once (plus this is the longest chapter I've updated anyway and I didn't want to spoil you too much :P) Leave a review and let me know what you think. Did I take It too far?... I have a nasty habit of doing that sometimes... I can tone it back if you guys want just let me know :) UNTIL NEXT TIME!
