SATURDAY, EVENING

Aoba walked down the street, milling with the crowd. His relationship with Mikado got complicated. Instead of gaining influence over him, he was losing it in big heaps. Strangely, Aoba found that he loved that. Again, he failed to predict the other, and that was so interesting! He did somewhat expect Mikado to dislike his 'park gift' for its vulgar nature, but he was sure they'd smooth it out easily. What he did not expect, however, was that he'd suddenly start talking about love.

Love. What was in that word? It was an utterly fake concept, as far as Aoba was concerned. People used each other for their own gain and called that "love" to deceive each other about their real intentions. And some probably sincerely believed in the deceit. In Aoba's opinion, people were so dumb that they didn't even realize that "love" was merely a massive overhyped illusion.

Or was it? Aoba couldn't deny there was something akin to a strong affection in his life. Maybe an obsession would be a more accurate word.

There were two directions he could take this in. He could pretend he was in love, finding proof or whatever Mikado felt he needed, or he could be honest and speak his mind about what he thought of "love". The latter option was likely to lose him even more influence with Mikado. And the first one… While there was a chance he'd gain a lot of influence, at the point in his thoughts Aoba had to ask himself for the first time, why he even still wanted to have more influence over Mikado in the first place…

He gave him a run of Blue Squares and loved it. Initially he planned to overthrow him, but Mikado's contradictory nature and recklessness proved to be so interesting that he kept laying those plans aside. For a time being, he told himself. But time passed, and his initial plans always remained still.

Aoba saw something incredibly real and vibrant in Mikado's contradictory nature. It was both evil and kind, wrong and right, and that felt genuine to him. It was a full spectrum of human emotion rather than a façade that people usually put on, acting like robots in the same fashion at all times. Mikado's nature didn't feel artificial. He was all over the spectrum, his intentions and desires so chaotic that he was confused about them himself. It was fascinating.

There were lots of lies Mikado told himself, Aoba believed, just like any other human being. That was unavoidable. But he respected him for staying true to himself. It was an odd concept for Aoba to be true to anything, after all, for all he knew he had no personality of his own at all to stay true to. He'd seen others trying to stay true to themselves and he didn't like the way they did it, for their selves were so robotic and artificial that staying true to that way of functioning felt like stupidity to him. But Mikado's way was spontaneous and open-minded, he was dancing across the whole spectrum of human potentialities. He could stab him and say sorry in a heartbeat, without even consciously realizing how one action contradicts another. It was almost close to Enlightenment because the truth was, Aoba believed, that the two actions didn't actually contradict. People merely chose to think that actions of different nature were a contradiction, a flaw, a mistake. But true human nature was just like that, when it was free and unhindered. Chaotic and all-inclusive. People chose to limit themselves artificially, reign in their behavior, words, and even inner thoughts, just to think of themselves as "logical". But no, true human nature wasn't logically ordered; it was chaos. It was insane.

Aoba found that he appreciated Mikado like one would appreciate a piece of art in the museum. A masterpiece. Was it love? He believed that "love" was too trite a word to describe his feelings. For him, Mikado was the only genuine, alive human being in the whole world.

As far as he was concerned, Aoba realize he was seeking companionship. Pleasant, satisfying companinship. Even someone like him still had such desires, no matter how much he despised everyone else. It was only natural that he latched onto Mikado as potential companionship, given everything he felt for him and thought about him. Aoba could admit that he wished Mikado's company, no, not that, he was absolutely greedy for it.

Even his physical attraction was greedy. He'd love to merge their bodies, becoming a part of his world that way, a part of the world he liked. Sex was one of the easiest ways people could merge. It was a way to possess another human being and all there was to them.

So to go back to the initial question, why did he want more influence over Mikado, again? It wasn't for the Dollars or his plans anymore, it wasn't for the power games. Reluctantly, Aoba admitted that he sought some kind of response from Mikado, a response to his own obsession.

And that was something he didn't like at all. Needing an emotional response from someone else and not getting it led to misery. Aoba felt dejected and sorrowful already. He didn't want his moods to depend on someone's responses to himself. It was a road to emotional slavery. He resented it.

Perhaps Mikado was somewhat right when he said that his past defined his present and formed his personality. But only to an extent. Aoba hated being fragile and beaten by his brother, but he despised complaining more, so he never did. In this world everyone was dogfood, but that was simply how the world worked, complaining about the way reality worked would be pathetic. He didn't complain even when his brother grew confused and decided to test his sexuality with the most accessible male body: his own. He merely set his room on fire after that. He didn't complain when his brother decided he wanted more, but realizing that forceful penetration could leave prints, started forcing him to use his mouth. He merely waited for an opportunity to take revenge and made sure he'd get locked up in jail. But from then on Aoba detested being helpless, it was true slavery. He was going to forever resent everything that reminded him of that. Every scrap of his own obsessive desire for anyone, every hint of anticipating a response. Emotional slavery was no better than physical.

Taking a step out of the crowd, he looked around and walked into a random shop. He was sick of people, and it was less crowdy in the shop. So much walking around and thinking, but his mind still didn't clear up, he only felt more confused. So he wanted a response from Mikado and he resented wanting it. At times like this Aoba hated how contradictory human nature was. It would indeed be so much easier for him if he was like a robot with a clear, perfectly complimentary set of desires.

An SMS signal from his cellphone drew his attention. With his heart beating faster, he glanced at it and his face fell: it was merely from Kururi. What was she even thinking, forcing herself on him like this? He couldn't care less if she had a crush on him, it was an illusion she was crushing on, anyway. She didn't know about his real chameleon-like nature, she was just stupidly charmed by a farce he was putting on at school. Sure, he could use her for a while and then get rid of her, but right now he was too fixated on Mikado. And apparently Mikado occupied a huge space in his mind, as there was no space left for anyone else.

"I am not the best expert to consult about romantic matters." Celty typed into her PDA. "And more importantly, I'm never going to help you with that boy. He's trouble."

She and Mikado shared a sofa. He belatedly came to Celty's and Shinra's place after being invited a few days in a row. Apparently, Celty didn't want to talk to him in the chat and preferred to talk face to face. Which was good. After what Izaya Orihara pulled, Mikado didn't want him to read any more of his private messages. Ever.

At first Mikado didn't plan to have "the talk" with Celty anyway, but now he had a new reason to be here.

"I can't believe you rejected Anri for him." Celty continued typing. "You and Anri have always been together. What were you thinking?"

Mikado felt very guilty and embarrassed. Apparently, his private life wasn't a secret to Celty, either. Then again, he could understand why. Celty and Anri were getting very friendly recently, and it must've been Anri who informed her about everything.

"I wasn't for Aoba-kun." He said. "But Celty-san, please forget him, I wanted to talk to you about someone else."

"You're shaking, Mikado-kun." Celty typed, wildly gesticulating. "What's going on?"

"Izaya-san sicced a dangerous guy on me." Mikado said. "He recently got out of jail and connections to the mafia. I thought I was off the hook, until he started calling me again half an hour ago, making threats."

His cellphone rang. Mikado jumped, checked it out and sat down, looking quite miserable.

"There he goes again." He said sheepishly. "You think Aoba-kun is trouble, but he's a... cute pink pony in comparison to his brother."

"What did Izaya sic a criminal on you for?!" Celty typed and stood up, as if ready to go and strangle the culprit.

"His motive is the least of my worries now." Mikado smiled artificially. "Celty-san, can I stay with you for tonight? I feel unsafe going home. Izaya-san knows my home address, and he could easily sell it to him upon request."

Celty took off her helmet in one swipe and black smoke erupted violently from her neck. She was furious.

That evening Mikado spent on the balcony of their apartment, he didn't want to interrupt two love birds chirping inside. Izumii-san called once more and he didn't pick up. Mikado could only wonder if he was that intent on raping him or that intent on controlling the Dollars together with him or that intent on caving in his skull. Either way, his desires spelled a lot of trouble for him.

What surprised Mikado was his own reaction to Izumii-san's words. He advertised himself by saying that the whole gang war was merely a bunch of whiny kids fighting, while he was a real tough guy with mafia connections. Mikado couldn't shake off the feeling that it was all too true. What they did within the Dollars was like throwing sand at each other in a sandbox, after all. And the Blue Squares were just some teenagers grouping together, calling themselves a gang, and thinking that it makes them badass. They weren't real criminals, they were simple delinquents. Not that Mikado wanted to become a leader of criminals, but being a leader of delinquents didn't sound right to him, either. He wanted the Dollars to be important and recognized, rather than lowly trash, that's all he knew.

Unbeknownst to himself, Ran Izumii played a pivotal role in Mikado's future. By saying only a few words, he planted inside Mikado the seed of the path the Dollars would end up taking.

Note:

What Ran Izumii did to Aoba isn't strictly canon, but is almost fanon. Firstly, he's a rapist, and secondly, his relationship with Aoba is described in a shady way. To be specific, there is a sentence about how he used to beat him frequently, until one day he suddenly "went too far", and Aoba set his room on fire. However, there was not a single scratch on Aoba that day, so there's a gruesome version about what he did to him. A lot of people I talked to thought that way.