A/N: Thank you again to everyone who reviewed: Sirithdiliel, ArrayePL, Aristeia, JFAPOI, vicious-fluffy-bunny-llama, ayameko2TTe, Obscure Stranger, Kimjuni2, Star, and Sobatra. :)

Chapter Twelve - Thawing

Ursa was struggling to get her body and mind to work together. It was hard—her mind was clearing, but she still felt like she was pushing through a thick fog. The last clear thing she remembered was being forced to take the drug. Everything after that was blurred. She'd been stuck in dreams and delusions. She remembered pain, the sensation of burning. She still felt unbelievably hot. She remembered Hakoda's voice, a calming anchor in the storm of nightmares, but she didn't know what he had said.

Even now, as she stood bracing one hand against the wall and fighting the overwhelming weakness in her body, she was also fighting to keep her awareness. Her mind kept trying to slip back into that haze. The shadows were dragging fingers across her mind, and she shook her head, focusing as hard as she could on what was right in front of her.

She was in the holding cell, with Hakoda, an unconscious solider, and another soldier who was apparently aiding in their escape. He was a young man, probably not much older than Zuko would be, and something about him looked vaguely familiar.

"Did I…talk?" she asked hoarsely. Her words were coming out as sluggish and stilted as her mind and body felt. "Did I…tell Zhao what he wanted to know?" Her entire body was shaking, and standing on her feet was taking its toll on her. She knew that she should be afraid of what she might have said, and angry at her body's weakness, and maybe once she was completely coherent, those emotions would come. Right now, all she felt was worry and frustration. It was as though the drug had thrown a damper over everything, including her emotions.

"You didn't say anything that made sense, Lady Ursa," the young soldier assured. "I wasn't in the room, but I heard that Admiral Zhao got very upset because you were only rambling and repeating the same things over and over again. And you had a worse reaction than usual to the drug. Zhao finally just put you back in here because we were docking and he had a war meeting to attend." The soldier looked at Hakoda. "We must go now. Most of the soldiers normally on board are outside guarding the war meeting or sleeping. There's only one sentry on deck."

Ursa removed her supporting hand from the wall, took a step toward the door, and then fell face-first into the soldier. He caught her and hefted her back to her feet. Hakoda slipped an arm around her and she didn't have the energy to protest. Two more steps and she had to clutch onto the back of his shirt to keep from falling.

Their rescuer motioned them out into the corridor. He picked up a large bag and handed it to Hakoda, who slung it over his shoulder. There was also a length of rope underneath the bag, and the soldier gathered this up and cautiously led the way down the corridor.

"Wait here," the soldier whispered. He clambered up the stairs to the deck. They heard him talking to someone, and then he came back. "Come on. Hurry!'

Ursa and Hakoda followed him up the stairs, and Ursa was hit with a blast of air so cold it sucked her breath from her lungs. Suddenly her body had another reason to shiver.

It was still dark, but the horizon was tinged with the barest light. Dawn was arriving—yet another reason to be so exhausted. She hadn't slept all night.

Then Hakoda was pushing her down so they were bent over, hurrying with their rescuer to the side of the deck. She wasn't sure what the young man had said or done to the single sentry on deck, but she didn't see him anywhere. She could make out several other warships pulled up to the shore, dark shadows against the ocean.

"Hakoda, how exactly are we escaping?" Her speech was coming a little faster, though through chattering teeth, as her head continued to clear. This made it almost worse because she was that much more aware of how her body was still not cooperating.

"We have to swim to land," Hakoda whispered. Then, with worry, "Do you know how to swim?"

"Yes, but—it's cold."

"The water's going to be worse," he murmured, his voice and face grim.

"Hurry!" The soldier helping them had dropped the rope over the side of the ship and was holding the other end.

No choice. Ursa pulled away from Hakoda.

"Me first," Hakoda said softly. Before she could say anything, he grasped the rope and climbed over the side of the ship. "Thank you, friend," he whispered to the soldier, and then he slid down to the dark ocean below.

Ursa took the rope and hoped she could keep her grip on it the whole way down. "Thank you," she echoed Hakoda's sentiment.

The soldier smiled at her. "Consider it my thank you. You were always very kind to me, Lady Ursa. Now go, please!"

Ursa didn't have time to figure out how she had been kind to him or why his face looked familiar. Keeping hold of the rope and sliding down it while she was so weak and shaky was more difficult than she had expected. It was just good that it was a short distance to the water, or she had no doubts she would have fallen.

The moment the icy ocean touched her feet, her fingers tightened on the rope and she found herself taking deep, heaving breaths. Hakoda was treading water beside the rope. "Let go," he told her, and she felt his hand on her back. "It's best to get it over all at once."

She hesitated only a moment before releasing the rope. The shock of the freezing water was like a thousand needles stinging her skin. She had never imagined that something could be so cold that it burned, but it did, and she wasn't sure how she was going to be able to move at all, let alone swim. The saltwater stung the cuts on her wrists, but it was a dull, distant ache compared to the ice water on the rest of her body.

The rope was pulled back up, and then Hakoda and Ursa were alone. "This way." Hakoda turned—how was he able to move?—and started to swim smoothly through the ocean. He turned to see her still treading water. "Ursa, you have to move. Come on."

One stroke at a time, her body growing less pins-and-needles and more numb with each movement, Ursa stayed with Hakoda as he swam away from the boats, following a line along the shore. It was one of the hardest things she had ever physically done. Her robes were heavy and dragging her down, and she was still so weak from the drug in her body. There were several times she sank completely under the ocean, and each time, Hakoda yanked her back up and pulled her forward until she could start to swim again.

With each passing second, Ursa feared she would hear a cry of alarm from one of the boats behind them, that someone would notice they were missing or spot them in the water, but there were no shouts of warning. She didn't know how long passed—it couldn't have been that long, but every moment felt like an age—before they had rounded a curve in the coastline and were out of sight of the ships. Only then did they swim for shore. The sun had peeked over the horizon, but it was a dull light that shone. The sky was an overcast, miserable gray. On land, there were patches of white all over the ground. It was Ursa's first glimpse of the phenomenon she had only ever read about. Snow. Even with the sun hiding behind the clouds, it was glittery and beautiful, and she was too tired and frozen to care.

As soon as there was solid ground underneath her, Ursa collapsed. Her limbs were so frozen that she wasn't even sure if she was shivering anymore. Beside her, Hakoda knelt and opened the bag that the soldier had given them.

"Ursa. Ursa!" Hakoda reached down and shook her, and her eyes snapped open. She hadn't even realized she had closed them. "You can't go to sleep. You have to change into something dry. Here."

There were two outfits in the bag, both Fire Nation civilian clothes, and both designed for men, though one of them was much smaller than the other. Ursa didn't care if it had been designed for a gorilla-bear; she just wanted to be warm. She was thankful that their rescuer had thought to pack gloves and hats.

Getting her sopping clothes off was tricky. She had no feeling in her fingers and it took several tries before she could slide her robes off. She glanced over toward Hakoda to make sure he was facing away. He was, but he was also in the middle of changing and she got a look at his bare backside. As cold as she was, the heat the flooded her cheeks was almost welcome.

As soon as they were dressed, Hakoda threw their old clothes in the water. "They're dead weight. We'd get soaked trying to carry them," he explained. "Come on. We have to move to stay warm—and to try to get as far ahead of the Fire Nation as we can before they notice we're gone. Judging from the look of the shore, I'd say the tide hasn't come in yet. If we walk along the shore until we find a good place to head into the hills, the tide will come in and wash away our tracks." Slinging the bag back over his shoulder, he held out a hand to her.

She looked at his hand for a moment, and then reached back and grasped it. He pulled her forward and put his arm back around her. She stumbled along with him, knowing that she'd probably be on the ground crawling her way forward if she didn't have him to lean on. And for once, she wasn't worried about trying to prove how strong she was. Maybe because she was exhausted, drugged, and freezing. Or maybe Hakoda and his men had taught her more than she realized. He and his men depended on each other all the time and were some of the strongest people she knew.

"Maybe that swim will have helped your fever, at least," Hakoda said as they walked.

"Oh, joy." Ursa was starting to get some feeling back in her limbs, but that was almost worse, because everything hurt. "I think I'd take the fever over the chills right now. Is it this cold in the South Pole?"

Hakoda chuckled. "Much colder. This snow? This is nothing."

"As soon as I'm not so freezing," Ursa said, holding tighter to Hakoda as she stumbled over some rocks on the shore, "I want to touch it and see what it feels like."

"Cold."

"I never would have guessed." Ursa swallowed. "I hope that soldier isn't found out," she murmured. "If Zhao finds out he helped us…I wish I'd had time to get his name. He said I had always been very kind to him, and he looked familiar…"

"Ran. He said his name is Ran."

Ursa's eyes widened and his face suddenly clicked into place in her memories. He had been a child when she had last seen him, only a few years older than Zuko. "General Shun! That was General Shun's son. He…" She paused. "I knew him when he was a child." Like her children, he had been one of those whose parents were very influential. As such, he had been required to attend a lot of boring adult parties and dinners. Ursa had always tried to make the children feel welcome, remembering what it had been like for her when her aunt had dragged her to the same sort of dinners and parties. Ursa had always felt like an adornment, overlooked by all the important adults. "Once, at a dinner party, I made a puppet out of a napkin and moved it around the table whenever no one else was paying attention. Ran was the only one who noticed and then I stopped so he wouldn't get in trouble for laughing."

Hakoda grinned at her. "A napkin puppet. Aren't you adventurous."

"In that crowd, it was very adventurous, thank you." Ursa managed a small smile back at him. Or she thought she was smiling—her mouth was as frozen as everything else so it was hard to tell. "I think its nose was its best feature."

The sun rose higher in the sky, but it was only evident by the slight lightening of the dreary gray clouds.

Finally, Hakoda said, "Here. There are more rocks than snow—if we're careful, we can hide our trail for a while longer, and then in the hills, they'll have a hard time finding it." He glanced at the sky. "Especially if it snows and covers our tracks. It looks like it just might."

They turned off of the shore and headed into the hills. Hakoda was right; after only a little distance away from the ocean, piece of snow began to drift past Ursa's face. She stopped, bringing Hakoda to a halt with her, and stared up at the sky in wonder. The snowflakes were light and fell much more slowly than rain. They also got stuck on her hair and eyelashes, and she quickly blinked to clear them away from her eyes. "It's beautiful."

Hakoda closed his eyes against the snowfall, an expression of contentment crossing his face. "It is," he agreed, and then they were moving again. "The thing about snow," he told her, "is that there are so many different kinds. There's the kind of snow that's just powdery and doesn't stick together. There's the kind that's wet and sticks to itself so you can make a snow fort or a snowman. Sometimes you have a really light snow, and sometimes it's so heavy you can't see two feet in front of you. Each snowfall is unique."

They pressed on, going deeper into the hills, until all of Ursa's concentration was on putting one foot in front of the other. Finally, Hakoda said, "Here."

At first, Ursa didn't see what he was pulling her toward. Then they were right on top of a crevice in one of the hills.

"Wait here. I'm going to make sure it's safe." He let go of her and climbed through the hole in the rock. He was back only a moment later and motioned for her to follow. She stumbled into the shelter of a little cave, empty of any kind of animals, dangerous or otherwise.

Ursa collapsed onto her knees on the ground. It was still cold, but not nearly as freezing as the stinging breeze outside. Weak sunlight filtered in, and Hakoda used it to sit down and sort through the bag that Ran had given to him.

Ursa examined each item as he pulled it out of the bag. There were two thin blankets, and she breathed a sigh of relief as she took one of them and wrapped it around herself. "They don't look like they'd be very warm, but the Fire Nation designed them for efficiency in cold climates," she told Hakoda.

He wrapped the other one around himself and continued to remove things from the bag. There was food, a pouch of water—which both Ursa and Hakoda drank from before setting aside—six torches, a jar of ointment, a compass, and a map.

Ursa took one of the torches and scraped the end of it across the ground. A fire sprang to life on the end, and she set it down, removing her gloves and holding her hands over it. Blessed warmth began to tingle through her fingers. She knew that this was all the fire that they were going to be able to safely get right now—anything larger and they would have to worry about smoke filling the cave, or they would have to worry about smoke giving their position away.

Hakoda moved closer so he could soak in some of the fire's feeble heat and spread out the map on his lap. "Ran did a very good job at packing supplies on such short notice. He even labeled where we were on the map. Hm. I think we're about here now." He pointed at a spot on the map. "If we cut through the hills this way, there's supposed to be a village here." His finger tapped the map. "If we can get there, I can see about finding a way to get a warning to the Northern Water Tribe. We'll have to find out where the Southern Water Tribe fleet is…"

And find out if Bato and Notu are safe, she finished silently. And maybe…maybe if I can find Zuko and tell him what really happened that night, I can protect him from Ozai and stop him from trying to capture the Avatar.

Or maybe I would make things worse. What if I did find Zuko and he's changed so much that he won't listen to me? What if he hates me? What if I find him and then make things worse?

Her life and decisions were still a tangled mess full of doubt and questioning. She wasn't even sure she could find Zuko if she set out to look for him. Not without getting captured again, or getting him into trouble.

"We should be able to reach the town in two days," Hakoda was saying. "And we'll hope we're not too late."

Ursa nodded, but her eyes were already drifting closed. At least until Hakoda shook her shoulder. "Ursa, I know you're tired. So am I. But you need to make sure you're warm before you try to sleep."

"I'm warmer than I was outside," she mumbled. Once she was sure her fingers were warm, she carefully removed her shoes and held her toes near the torch's fire. Hakoda held his hands over it, and for the first time, she got a look at how cut up and bloodied his wrists were. She reached for the jar of ointment, then opened it and handed it to him. "Fire Nation treatment for burns and cuts," she said. "It smells a lot better than your blubber algae concoction."

"We'll see if it works as well." Hakoda swabbed some of it on his wrists and then gave the jar back to her.

She got some ointment for her own raw wrists and then set the jar back down. "There are some things the Fire Nation does right, you know." She was teasing, but the look Hakoda gave her was serious.

"I know." He was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Who burned you?"

She wasn't expecting the question, and she looked at him sharply. "What?"

He pointed toward his own chest, in the same place where she had her burn scar.

She tensed and folded her arms around herself. "How did you know?"

"You don't remember?" Hakoda shifted so he was facing her. "When they threw you back in the cell, you kept holding your shoulder and talking about hurting. I was just trying to make sure you weren't burned."

Ursa swallowed and didn't answer him. Her mortification held her tongue fast and she could do no more than shake her head. It was too much right now. Hakoda had already been crossing further over her defensive threshold than anyone else had in years, but this was a step more than she felt she could handle.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I shouldn't have asked."

She shook her head again, still unable to find her voice, and Hakoda didn't press for a response. Instead, he said, "Here. I have something that belongs to you." He held out a white lotus tile, and her eyes widened. "Ran said he was an initiate in the Order of the White Lotus. I don't suppose you know what that is?" he asked as she took the tile from him.

Her tongue finally unstuck. "No," she said quietly. "I found it on Misaki's floor the night she was captured." She closed her fist around it. "Thank you." She slowly relaxed again and leaned back against the cave wall. "Can I sleep yet?"

Hakoda unwrapped his blanket from around himself, rested against the wall beside her, and draped it over both of them. She tried to protest, but he pointed out, "I'm used to this weather. You're not."

She eyed him for a moment, and then disentangled herself from her own blanket and spread it on top of Hakoda's so they could share both blankets. If anyone had told her a month ago that she would be even remotely comfortable being alone in a cave, shoulder-to-shoulder with any man, she would have told them they were delusional. All of her upbringing on propriety, all of her distrust and her unwillingness to let anyone close to her churned in her stomach, but it was a far cry from what it had been. Besides, she told herself, this was about survival, not about what made her comfortable.

She closed her eyes and soaked in the warmth of the blankets and of Hakoda's arm pressed against hers. Maybe it was about survival, and maybe her deepest ingrained defensiveness was still resisting, but as she was sucked into the welcome arms of sleep, she couldn't remember the last time she had felt so safe.