Chapter 11, And Boy Does it Burn
And they kissed. It was an uninspiring chaste sort of pressure before Shego pushed Kim away. The girl opened her eyes and looked up in confusion. Was that seriously everything she was waiting for?
"You're either the worst kisser in the world, or you're playing with me."
"I figured things were culminating to that. You get it out of your system?"
"What?" Kim whipped her head to the side and closed her eyes briefly, trying to concentrate on what had just happened.
"I had a feeling things were getting out of hand and they are, so I'm putting a stop to it." Shego sighed, putting her hands in the pockets of her jackets and looking down with a bored expression on her face.
Kim reached out and grabbed the fabric on her enemy's chest. "Getting out of hand? You kissed me!"
Shego smirked. "And you definitely lost yourself waiting for it."
"So what it was just a test?"
The villainess wrapped lithe fingers around Kim's outstretched arm and tightened them into a firm grasp. "I think you're a little confused as to the nature of our relationship, so let me spell it out for you." Kim's hand was forcefully ripped from Shego's jacket before the older woman continued. "We are not having some little midnight tryst. I did not come out here to lock lips with you." She took a step forward which caused Kim to take one back. "We fight, we leave- that's it."
Shego's hands lit up in that familiar green flame as she continued on.
"You need to think about what you're doing, Kim. This isn't rational, this isn't safe, and this isn't a game. You're going to get hurt; it's only a matter of time. I'm dangerous." Shego finally stopped moving, and looked deep into Kim's dark green eyes, faltering for a brief second before regaining composure. "You and I are not friends- I'm only being civil to make things easy. Imagine what Global Justice would do if they found out about your little crush on most wanted woman in the world."
Kim found her strength and fought back. "You showed up at my apartment, you disrupted me in class, you broke into my home, you instigate all our meetings… you do oddly romantic things at the strangest times. Excuse me for thinking something more than civil was going on.
"If you think you're going to protect me with this distancing bull you're really out of your depth. You think I don't know the consequences of my actions? I spent months trying to figure all this junk out while dealing with your crap and I finally thought I was making progress. Regardless of how you feel towards me, I'm not going to let you push me away anymore, Shego. You don't have to like me, but I am done giving up on you. I know you're afraid to have feelings for anyone other than neutrality and hate, the latter I'm very familiar with, but don't you dare prey on my emotions and insult my intellect."
Kim pushed a finger into the other woman's sternum.
"I happen to trust you enough to let Ron and Monique in on the sitch so I just spent a ridiculous amount of time convincing them to welcome you with open arms. And once upon a time Global Justice considered recruiting you, and briefly toyed with the idea of using me to get information from you."
"So you're really just a spy?" The woman's upper torso was now completely engulfed in flames.
Kim wrapped her fingers in her hair ready to pull it out in frustration. "Pay attention to what's going on. I know it's hard to focus on something other than yourself, but I just risked my two most important relationships trying to protect you. Granted it was mostly for selfish reasons, but I genuinely do have your best interest at heart.
"I'm not working for Global Justice, in fact I've been under house arrest for longer than I'm willing to admit just for trying to be near you. They said you were too unstable to approach, and it could have catastrophic consequences. They predicted that you had power beyond comprehension, and immediately after I was aware of it, they shut down the mission and sent Ron and I home."
The lighter green flames that were Shego's eyes narrowed as she allowed the girl to continue.
"Everything I've done since you erased my memory was a genuine effort to get to know the real you, to be friends because I... I was selfishly afraid- afraid that I could end up like you, and I had to prove to myself that you weren't an inevitability. I wanted to prove to everyone that you were just lost. I wanted to be your friend, Shego.
"And somewhere along the way I might have," Kim took a big breath and said her next few words as quietly as possible, "gotten in over my head."
The flickering heat before her died down completely, and Shego stared ahead stoically.
The heroine stood up slowly, keeping an eye on her companion. "Everything I have done for you is in defiance of everything that I am, everything that I have ever believed in. I meant what I said back then in Drakken's hideout, the first time you were ever consumed by your emotions. I want to help you, Shego. I'm not going anywhere, you can't scare me off."
Kim slowly took a step forward and when she was sure Shego was no longer unstable, reached her arms around the older woman's waist and squeezed lightly. And for the first time in a very long time Shego felt the warmth of another person, making the heat of her flames pale in comparison.
Kim's head turned slightly, as she pressed her mouth to the taller girl's shoulder and closed her eyes. "Does this mean we're good?" She mumbled through the cotton fabric.
Shego shivered at the feeling of Kim's lips moving through her jacket. "For someone supposedly so intelligent you're a real moron, Cupcake."
The girl hugged tighter in response. "You know I always used to hate those pet names you gave me."
Shego smirked. "You want me to start calling you 'Kim'?"
"No, it's ok, I kinda like them now."
"Good, because I had no intention of stopping."
A minute passed as the two stood together, Shego awkwardly wondering when she'd be let go. Kim backed off looking anywhere unimportant. "So what now?"
The villainess shrugged. "I guess things are aired out. I have a feeling you're still not telling me something, but… if you're sure about wanting to do this weird dance with me, and things went back to normal I think I could handle it."
"What is normal?"
"Well I hope you didn't take that as an invitation to pry into every aspect of my life, because nothing really changes." She tilted her head off to the left and looked out of the corner of her eye at Kim. "I mean other than knowing you have a majorly unhealthy crush on me."
Kim rolled her eyes.
A low sound of amusement escaped from Shego. "It's getting late you need a ride home?"
"I honestly think I could use the walk."
Shego shrugged as she walked out the entrance to the stadium, leaving Kim to herself in the dark. The girl flopped on the grass, spread eagle and took possibly the biggest inhale of air in her life. It was ironic really- until now she had never been more conscious of the fact that she was playing with fire.
Ron crossed her mind on the way back home. At the rate things were going, she'd be lucky to maintain her friendship with him at all let alone continue to date him. And things with Shego were… confusing at best, especially with her feelings out in the open- if they were even legitimate feelings. One crap kiss doesn't spark grand feelings of romance, quite the opposite in fact, which is probably what Shego was going for.
She huffed kicking a rock out of her way in annoyance. Perhaps the best course of action is to keep things professional. Who is she kidding though, things are obviously not professional. It's enough to drive her up a wall with all of the crap in her life that seems to spontaneously combust at her touch. And of course the irony isn't lost on her either.
The light in the living room wasn't on, so Kim silently crept past Ron's couch and made it nearly into the hallway before he sat up and called out to her. "We need to talk."
"We talked an awful lot earlier."
He patted the seat next to him and rubbed his face vigorously with both hands. "I just need to know a few things, things Monique shouldn't be privy to."
Kim awkwardly shifted her weight around, ignoring his efforts to get her to sit. She really should have gone back up through the window. "What things?"
"Are you really not going to sit next to me? See things like that. I understand you're tired of thinking about where things with us are, but I need some resolution. Maybe some clarification too…"
"You mean with Shego? We're not actually… we're just tolerating each other for the moment."
"Well yeah that, and like are we done? Like done, done."
"I don't know, Ron." She bit her lip as her mouth turned out to one side.
"Kim I only ever wanted to make you happy. I mean of course I wanted to make myself happy. I… I should probably just apologize for literally everything. I know I've changed a lot, it surprises even my parents, but that was a big thing for me- the quake I mean. I can't be that same doofus my whole life, I have to actually contribute on purpose.
"But just so you know I don't love the crime fighting thing, that's more your shtick. And I don't want to be someone you just leave behind because we don't have anything to bond over anymore, but we just don't have anything to bond over anymore. We used to be so close and what with us being in other colleges, you sneaking around doing missions and whatever the Shego-thing is. I do realize we're not…" He trailed off, struggling to finish.
"Compatible anymore."
"Yeah."
"Ron. If you wanna drop out of the mission thing I understand. It takes its toll on me too, which is honestly why I started seeing Shego in my spare time. My therapist suggested it would be good to have an outlet for my aggression. I think that's something you can easily understand."
He cracked a small smile. "Yeah. It's just weird to see her waltz up to the front door like we haven't been fighting for years. It stirs up a lot of emotions in me including jealousy."
"You're jealous of Shego?"
"Well I don't know, should I be? It seems to me you two are more compatible in a lot of ways and that's kinda a ball-buster, but like I said if it makes you happy and you're not getting too hurt I'll support you. I just don't want you to feel like you have to sneak around 'cause of me. I can imagine that guilt tore you up."
She gave a shy smile in response, not mentioning that despite the guilt she pursued it anyway. "So what's your final answer on the mission thing?"
"If you need me I'm here for you KP. I know I was kinda sold on working together with you and her, and I will if it's necessary, but I also know you two are on a whole 'nother level than me. Especially with the new powers she's got growing out of her like extra heads."
"Ron, you've never been useless. Despite how everyone treats you, you've consistently been the one to back me up and shut things down while I 'entertained the guests'." She finally moved over to his couch and sat down next to him, resting a hand on his thigh. "And your powers got really incredible right before you started to focus on college. I don't want you to think you're the odd man out. I think if you were up to it, I'd love to have you by my side again."
"Yeah." He closed his eyes and shook his head for a bit. "I've really missed you, I'm sorry that things got so weird. I promise I'll call you every day."
She let out a short laugh and pat his leg. "You don't have to call me every day, but maybe send me some pictures of what you've been up to at least. It'll be nice to get back into the same interests with you, especially since you know I love your cooking."
They sat in silence for a comfortable time letting the conversation drift off.
"I'm glad we talked, Ron. I feel infinitely better after tonight."
"Yeah, hey before you head off to sleep. Tonight were you and Shego…?"
"We're…" her lips started to itch a bit, "working through things."