Disclaimer: I don't own Wally, or Bruce, or Terry, or……
This Ain't the Golden Years
Chapter 12
November 6, 2058
I can't believe it! I'm still banned from the computer! (The following passage has been scratched out of fear that Linda would read it. The little bit that is still legible prattles on about the unfair balance of power in today's marriages. Linda will make him vacuum the house after she reads it.)
Clark has a sadistic sense of humor. The Council's version of "extreme measures" was to play Clark's entire Johnny Cash collection over the loudspeaker yesterday. Well, technically not the whole day. I hear that Bruce was over at the Watch Tower yesterday. After not even five minutes aboard the station, he marched over to the Council Room and threatened Clark into submission. The music didn't come back on until after Bruce left.
It was probably a good thing that Bruce showed up. I hear that the Green Arrow Society was ready to revolt. Apparently they don't think much of Johnny Cash. They've named rock band Green Day as their "official" band.
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The
Secret meeting of the Terry McGinnis Fan Club Meeting Transcript:
November 7,
2058
Terry: All right people, we have a serious issue here.
Max: Why are you here?
Terry: Hey! It's my fanclub!
Undisclosed Leaguer #1: Never mind that, why is Max here? This is for Leaguers only.
Max: Didn't you hear? I just got hired as a technician for the League.
Undisclosed Leaguer #1: Really?
Undisclosed Leaguer #2: What exactly is this "serious issue"?
Terry: Clark tried to brainwash us with his crappy music. He must pay.
Undisclosed Leaguer #3: Actually, I like Johnny Cash.
Terry: Glare.
Undisclosed Leaguer #3: (He's getting more like Bruce. Scary.)
Terry: We've signed a treaty with the Green Arrow Society and the Wally West Fan Club.
Max: Treaty?
Terry: Yes! A treaty! Is that a problem?
Undisclosed Leaguer #1: I think you've been around Wally and Ollie too long.
Undisclosed Leaguer #2: Yes, they're definitely rubbing off on you.
Undisclosed Leaguer #3: Perhaps we should…
Terry: Glare.
All of them: (He looks like Bruce. We'd best shut up now.)
Terry: As I was saying…
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The
Justice League Daily Service Announcement
Date: November 8,
2058
Fellow Leaguers:
Please welcome Maxine Gibson to the League. She will be one of our many skilled technicians. Any traditional methods of welcome (i.e. hazing) will result in temporary suspension from League missions.
The Council also advises that whoever has hacked into the speaker system to quickly desist in your activities. Not everyone appreciates the lyrics of Eminem. Our resident telepath is searching for the culprit as we speak.
Oliver Queen is still banned from the Watch Tower.
Have a nice day.
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November 8, 2058
Hey! Max joined the League! Sort of. She's a technician. I must get to her first before Kara can corrupt her. I must remake her into my image.
"Any traditional methods of welcome (i.e. hazing) will result in temporary suspension from League missions."
Hah! If I were still in the League, I'd be more afraid of Max than of someone hazing her. After all, she is Terry McGinnis's best friend. That should be warning enough. (Except, apparently, for Clark.)
Also, Project Ex-Girlfriends goes into action tomorrow. I managed to get Diana, Selina, and Zatanna to work together. I'm not sure what That Unmentionable Thing is, but it sure convinced Diana to help. I heard Shayera mention "That Unmentionable Thing" once when she and Linda were talking. Whatever it is, it must be good.
I would bribe J'onn with oreos to find out, but I'd better wait until the League's Civil War dies down first. I'm not sure if he'd spy for me right now.
Damn it! I want to know! What the hell is That Unmentionable Thing? It's not like I can ask. Diana thinks that I know what it is.
It's got to have something to do with Bruce, that's all I know.
………………………………………………………………………………………………
Excerpt
from Bruce Wayne's Phone Conversation with Wally West
Date:
November 9, 2058
Bruce: I'm going to kill you West.
Wally: Didn't you like my present?
Bruce:…
Wally: Actually, the lingerie was Diana's idea. She and Selina came up with most of the plan. All I asked them to do was pay you a visit.
Bruce: Wally…
Wally: And of course, it was all Zatanna's idea to cast a spell to make her and Selina look younger.
Bruce: I'm going to kill you and I don't care what Linda says.
Wally: Did Terry take pictures like I asked him too?
Bruce: Click.
Wally: He hung up on me again. I can't wait to tell Ollie, Dick, and Roy about this.
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From:
Dick Grayson
To: Roy Harper
Date: November 10,
2058
Subject: Bruce's Gift
Hey Arsenal (formerly known as Speedy)
Did Wally tell you about what he did to Bruce? If so, I'll telling you anyway. Diana, Zatanna and Selina surprised him down in the batcave. Zatanna cast some charm so that she and Selina looked like they were young again.
Can you imagine Bruce's face when he walked downstairs and found the three of them dressed in lingerie, sitting at his computer? The old man almost had a heart attack.
Oh, and Terry got it all on video. I'm telling you, this kid has potential.
Nightwing
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From:
Roy Harper
To: Dick Grayson
Date: November 10,
2058
Subject: Maxine Gibson
Yeah, I heard about that. Ollie was telling me. I met Terry and his friend Max yesterday. I don't know what Clark was thinking when they hired her. I mean, I do understand. She is a brilliant genius when it comes to computers.
It's just that Terry plus Max equals double trouble for Clark. I barely know the two of them and I already call them the Terrible Two.
I'm not kidding you. It's like you, me, and Wally back in the day, except worse.
Was Clark drunk?
………………………………………………………………………………………………
From:
Dick Grayson
To: Roy Harper
Date: November 10,
2058
Subject: RE: Maxine Gibson
Can Kryptonians get drunk?
Dick
From:
Roy Harper
To: Dick Grayson
Date: November 10, 2058
Subject:
Maxine Gibson
Yeah, I heard about that. Ollie was telling me. I met Terry and his friend Max yesterday. I don't know what Clark was thinking when they hired her. I mean, I do understand. She is a brilliant genius when it comes to computers.
It's just that Terry plus Max equals double trouble for Clark. I barely know the two of them and I already call them the Terrible Two.
I'm not kidding you. It's like you, me, and Wally back in the day, except worse.
Was Clark drunk?
………………………………………………………………………………………………
From:
Roy Harper
To: Dick Grayson
Date: November 10,
2058
Subject: RE: RE: Maxine Gibson
I hear it's theoretically possible, if you have Kryptonian beer.
From:
Dick Grayson
To: Roy Harper
Date: November 10, 2058
Subject:
RE: Maxine Gibson
Can Kryptonians get drunk?
Dick
From:
Roy Harper
To: Dick Grayson
Date: November 10, 2058
Subject:
Maxine Gibson
Yeah, I heard about that. Ollie was telling me. I met Terry and his friend Max yesterday. I don't know what Clark was thinking when they hired her. I mean, I do understand. She is a brilliant genius when it comes to computers.
It's just that Terry plus Max equals double trouble for Clark. I barely know the two of them and I already call them the Terrible Two.
I'm not kidding you. It's like you, me, and Wally back in the day, except worse.
Was Clark drunk?
………………………………………………………………………………………………
From:
Dick Grayson
To: Roy Harper
Date: November 11,
2058
Subject: Kryptonian beer
Alert the Titans. I have a new mission.
Mission: Get Clark drunk.
It may be difficult, but we must check our scientific hypothesis. It's our civic duty.
BTW- How would we get Kryptonian beer?
Nightwing
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From:
Roy Harper
To: Dick Grayson
Date: November 11,
2058
Subject: Kryptonian beer
Time machine.
Either that or we could bribe one of the Linear Men.
Oh yeah, I forwarded your last email to Ollie, just to see what he'd say. He said he's "intrigued."
Arsenal