Posting a little early because I'm super tired and I need to go to work tomorrow. *dies*
The theme for today was supposed to be "Making out," but they're kINDERGARTENERS. So you get this instead. *shrugs*
Day 12: Telling Jokes
Sitting atop the jungle gym on the playground, Madeline grinned down at Gilbert as he climbed up to her. "Come on, slow poke!" she teased.
He snorted. "I'm comin', I'm comin'." Reaching up to grab the next bar, he looked up at the gray, overcast sky. He smirked then, and turned to Madeline. "Hey, Princess Maddie! What do clouds wear under their shorts?"
Madeline pursed her lips, watching him. "Um…I don't know," she lied. "What?"
"Thunderpants!" Gilbert burst out laughing, pausing as he climbed. "Get it? Like underpants?"
She chuckled. "That's funny, Gil." Alfie told her that joke every time the sky was cloudy. She didn't think it was that funny. Not after having heard it so many times.
Gilbert frowned, climbing a little higher. She didn't sound like she'd liked his joke. He'd have to try harder. "Okay. How about this one?" He thought a moment, and then grinned again. "What did the police man say to his tummy?"
She knew this one, too. "What?" she asked, amused.
"I've got you under a vest!" He laughed again. "Like 'under arrest?'"
She nodded, smiling. "Good one, Gil." She peered out at the big kids' playground, but her big brother was nowhere in sight. He was probably off playing with Arthur or Mikkel or someone.
Gilbert frowned harder, pulling himself up to sit beside her. He wracked his brain for another joke. "Ah! How about this one? Who does a pharaoh talk to when he's sad?" Without waiting for her answer, he shouted, "His mummy!"
She nodded absently. Her daddy had told her that one.
He clenched his teeth. Why didn't she like any of his jokes? They were good jokes! He thought hard, harder than before. "Oh! Okay, then! What's brown and sticky?" He grinned mischievously.
Wrinkling her nose, Madeline shook her head. "I don't know. Is it something icky?"
Gilbert grinned. She'd think this one was hilarious! "No. …A stick!" He laughed. "Get it? 'Cause sticks are brown and sticky?"
She smiled at him. "Oh, a stick. That's pretty good, Gilbert." She patted his arm, then looked down, picking out Ivan and Carlos on the ground. "Should we call them up?"
"No! Not until I get you to laugh!" He pouted and crossed his arms over his chest. He didn't even like Ivan or Carlos that much! Why would he invite them up here with him and his princess? And he was going to make her laugh if it was the last thing he ever did! Suddenly, he remembered a million jokes at once, and he shot them off at her, rapid-fire.
"What kind of horses go out after sunset? Nightmares!"
"Why does a moon rock taste better than a Earth rock? 'Cause it's a little meteor!"
"Where does the President keep his armies?"
"In his sleevies," Madeline answered, seeming unamused.
Gilbert's brow furrowed. "…What do you get when you cross a T-Rex with fireworks?"
"Dino-mite."
"What do you call a bear with no teeth?"
"A gummy bear."
"…Why shouldn't you write with a broken pencil?"
"Because it's pointless." Madeline grinned at him. "I bet I can answer every single joke ever. My mommy and daddy and Alfie tell me jokes all the time." She puffed up her chest proudly.
"Oh yeah? Then why don't you tell me a joke?" He snickered. He could beat Madeline in a joke war if he tried!"
A strange light sparked in her eyes, and she nodded, grinning. "You're on." She thought for a moment. "…What did one snowman say to the other?"
Gilbert smirked. "'Do you smell carrots?'"
"What did zero say to eight?"
"'Nice belt!'"
She frowned. She knew the answers to all his jokes, and he knew the answers to all of her jokes. She would have to try something drastic. Madeline cleared her throat. "What did the fish say when it ran into the wall?"
Gilbert's face, which had before held a triumphant grin, now fell. He hadn't heard this joke before…. Sighing, he asked, "What?"
Madeline looked around quickly before leaning in and replying, in a low, quiet voice, "'Dam.'"
Gilbert's eyes widened, and he stifled a gasp, leaning back and pointing at her. "You said a bad word!" he cried. Madeline leaned closer, her eyes wild.
"I did not, I did not!" she screeched. "It's not a bad word!"
"Maddie said a bad word! Maddie said a bad word!" he laughed and chanted in a sing-song voice. "Princess Maddie said 'dam'!"
I've had preschoolers do similar things at the class I teach during the summer. XD I love kids so much~!
Also Welcome to Night Vale is the best podcast ever? Wowie wow wow I just started listening to it today and it's so weird and amazing. And Free! is a super cute anime and I love Makoto and Rei. ;A; And the Mortal Instruments is a really good book series! :o
Okay I'm done now. Sorry this is early (it's not even the 12th here yet), but tomorrow's chapter will be up at the correct time! :D Good night.
Please feel free to review! Constructive criticism is very much appreciated!