The fans have spoken once again! Lots of people have suggested Super Smash Bros throughout my Fanfiction Career. I have pushed it to the back of my mind for too long. It's time to act! I've researched, nagged my younger brother, watched YouTube videos, looked up pictures, and come to the following conclusion: it's HARD to write a chapter on a game I've never played. But I did my best. SO HAS ANYONE SEEN STAR WARS IN 3D YET? IT'S FREAKING EPIC!
Ayy Kaim: Your review made me laugh, as always. And sorry about the second place thing. He pwned Wipeout, though! As far as Zelda goes, one of my sisters (not random-fan) is an avid Zelda freak. So, I might do a Zelda chapter just to get her to read my fanfic. And I DID notice a random hammer falling into my neighbor's grass. He's obsessed with his lawn, so he was not happy! ;) It was AWESOME!
AdenaWolf: Hmm not a bad idea. Anakin probably shouldn't know ahead of time that he's going to be Darth Vader, though. The Force Unleashed was doable enough, but I'm not sure if Lego Star Wars would mess with George Lucas's storyline or not. Lego Pirates? A possibility.
Random-fan803: Yeah, yeah, Miss Perverted Mind. That was NOT my intention, but fans can interpret my writing any way they want. And yes, thank you for the Physics idea. Star Wars has a tendency of breaking the laws.
AaylaKit: Thanks!
Pergjithshme: Welcome to the Pwning and Gaming Fan Family! And yes, I based Obi-Wan's voice of McGregor's. My sister, random-fan803, introduced me to his wonderful singing. And yeah, I'll totally bring Ahsoka in! It's been awhile since I've seen the Clone Wars, but I'll do my best with her character.
FireZenzizenzizenzic: Yeah, I love that part. I could still do a Zelda game to pacify my sister and Ayy Kaim. Idk about Lego Pirates. I've only seen one of the movies and I've never played the game. I might research it.
MermaidGirl34: I think I might implement the Force Unleashed in my Luke Skywalker chapter. It could start with Vader playing My Little Pony and reminiscing about the day he played the Force Unleashed. Glad you liked the MP chapter!
LadySaxophone: I have a great idea for what I'm going to do with the "future chapter." I'll make it two chapters, actually, cuz I've got a lot of ideas. You'll have to wait and see how it plays out. ;)
"Master?" A familiar voice came from the hall. Ahsoka Tano stepped into the room, her sharp eyes taking in the faces before her. "Am I interrupting something? I was trying to study, but I couldn't concentrate over the pwning." A grin flashed across her face. "I'm assuming you were the one being pwned?"
"Actually, I was the one doing the pwning. How's it going, Snips?"
She shrugged. "Like I said. I couldn't study over the pwning." A look passed between them. One that only a mentor and an apprentice could share.
"Was it the Force?" Obi-Wan interrupted, "or was Anakin being so loud that you couldn't focus?"
She shrugged. "Neither. I can sense pwning a mile away."
Kit laughed. "There's one thing we have in common."
"You really should be studying," Anakin said, getting that serious tone that he only uses when he's either ordering Ahsoka around or dealing with politics.
"How do you expect me to study while you're in here playing Mario Party?" she demanded.
Anakin secretly hoped that she hadn't sensed the Force Unleashed session. He didn't want her to worry about things that shouldn't be worried about. "You wouldn't really want to play, would you?" he scoffed. "I'm sure you have better things to do."
She shook her head. "Nope. Master Yoda, can I play?"
Yoda shrugged. Anakin had never seen the Jedi Master shrug before, so it was a bit amusing. "The decision of your Master, it is."
Ahsoka turned back to Anakin. "I'm not going to beg if that's what you're after."
Anakin sighed. "Fair enough. Pick a game."
Kit frowned. "You've picked all the games, Anakin. Now you're going to let your apprentice walk in and pick one? I think someone else should get a—"
"Let's do Super Smash Bros Melee," Ahsoka said in the middle of Kit's tirade.
"I love that one!" Kit erupted immediately, seeming to forget that he was ticked off at Anakin. "Let the battle begin!"
"Battle?" Mace and Obi-Wan echoed in unison.
"It's in the name," Anakin said. "Not to be disrespectful, Masters, but you both can be a bit thick sometimes."
"That was disrespectful on a number of levels," Mace said tensely.
"It could've been worse. I could've said that you're both stupid. Which I didn't."
"It was inferred," Obi-Wan said.
"No, it wasn't. It was implied. And then you inferred it."
"I'm surprised you even know what those words mean, let alone the difference," Obi-Wan countered.
"Ew, you're right. More long words." Anakin shivered. "On that note, let's get on with the game." He fished through the massive pile of games until he emerged with Super Smash Bros. "It's a GameCube game, and up to four can play. Let me direct you to the Character Selection screen," he said, using his best tour-guide imitation voice.
"That was sad, Anakin," Obi-Wan said.
"I suppose you could do better?" Anakin challenged.
"Possibly," was all Obi-Wan said.
Ahsoka was getting impatient. "With all due respect, Master, could you please get on with it and stop picking fights with Master Kenobi?"
"He started it!" Anakin objected.
"Your apprentice is wise, Anakin. You should listen to her more often," Obi-Wan said, a hint of smugness in his voice.
Anakin made a face. "You want to know what really is sad? The fact that you use my apprentice's support as a crutch, as if you need her to defend you. That's what's sad here."
Mace and Aayla exchanged glances. "Will this ever end?" she murmured. Mace only shook his head.
At last, both Anakin and Obi-Wan came to the conclusion that this argument was a stalemate and should not continue any longer. Anakin, however, stored it in the back of his mind so that he could get Obi-Wan later. Perhaps in a Melee battle or something.
"Each of us should choose a character," Aayla suggested. "That way, we'll already know who we want to be when it's our turn to be in the battle."
Kit nodded. "Good idea." He sincerely hoped that no on would notice that his weak spot was his agreeable nature when it came to Aayla.
Anakin set up the Character Selection Screen. "I'm Link," he said automatically.
"Who's that?" Obi-Wan asked.
"You don't know who—?" Anakin's mouth dropped open. "You know what? Just get out. Seriously. Leave. No one likes you anymore. You're a disgrace to the human race."
Mace and Obi-Wan rolled their eyes. Mace did not want to admit that he did not know who Link was either. He preferred not to be admonished by Anakin Skywalker.
Anakin shook his head disgustedly. "Anyway. Master Yoda, I say you get second choice, considering you didn't get to play the last game."
Yoda nodded. "Bowser, I will be."
No one could conceal their laughter. Even Mace was unable suppress a snort. Ahsoka wiped a tear out of her eye, while Anakin dropped the controller in his fit of laughter. Kit clutched his sides, begging everyone to stop laughing or he'll explode. Obi-Wan put a hand over his mouth, pretending to look pensive. The amusement was in his eyes, though.
Yoda silenced everyone with The Look. Immediately, Anakin nonchalantly picked up the controller again. Kit whistled softly and glanced around the room as if he was completely innocent.
"Mace!" Anakin said, breaking the silence. "You did an amazing job with Donkey Kong, so why not continue the streak?" Without waiting for an answer, he wrote DK next to Mace's name.
"Where'd you get the paper and pen?" Obi-Wan inquired.
Anakin shrugged. "It's like they do in the cartoons. If they need something, they just pull it out of nowhere. I can't explain it, really. If the Narrator wants me to have a paper and pen, then poof: I have a paper and pen."
"That breaks so many laws of Physics," Kit and Mace said at the same time. Kit made a face. Mace wasn't supposed to share his thoughts. The concept was creepy on a number of levels.
"I'm Link, Yoda's Bowser"—he couldn't hold back a slight chuckle—"and Mace is DK. Kit?"
Kit frowned thoughtfully. "Yoshi again, I think. While none of these characters can come even close to matching my awesomeness, I'd have to say that he and Link are almost there."
Anakin nodded seriously and wrote it down. "Obi-Wan? I think you should be Luigi. If I was Mario, then you'd be my Wingman. It's just like real life—I do the flying, and you cover me."
"This is a battle, Anakin. I'm not going to cover you."
"Fine. But you're still my Wingman. Ahsoka?"
She shrugged. "Zelda. She's cool."
Kit's eyes practically bugged out of his head. "Whoa. Whoa. No."
"What?" Considering Obi-Wan knew nothing about Legend of Zelda, he had no way of knowing how disturbing Ahsoka's move was.
"Dude, Link and Zelda are in love."
"No, they're not," Anakin objected. "They're close friends. They're not in a relationship."
"It's implied that they're in love," Kit argued.
"That's up for debate."
"Enough, seriously!" Ahsoka said, putting her hands up. "Master, do you really have to argue with everyone?" There was a smirk on her face despite the irritation in her voice.
Anakin sighed. "He seriously did start it. He questioned your choice of character. I was defending you."
"I don't need defending."
"Clearly." Anakin smiled, shaking his head. "You're a lot like I was at that age. Snippy and independent." He studied the paper a moment. "Aayla? You're up next."
"Peach," she said. "She's a little too girly for my taste, but she knows her stuff."
"Right. Got it. Let's do…the Hyrule Temple. It's one of my personal favorites. We'll each start with four lives. Here's how it goes: we start at 0% and move up. The higher the percentage, the easier it will be to be knocked out."
"Knocked out?" Obi-Wan tilted his head to one side. "Dare I ask what that is?"
Anakin grinned evilly. "I was hoping you'd ask that. When you get knocked out, you go FLYING out of the arena! Don't worry; you'll reappear for your next life. Any questions?"
"You go flying, Anakin?" Obi-Wan had that "no comprendo" look on his face.
"Yes. You go flying. There are lots of different weapons you can use. There's—well, why don't you find out for yourself? How about me vs. Obi-Wan vs. Mace vs. Kit. Just for the sake of the Mario Party team. Next round'll be Ahsoka, Yoda, Aayla, and whoever wins this round. Ready? Let's go!"
The battle began, Mace and Obi-Wan scrambling around like chickens with no heads. They tried to use the Force to guide them, but it was difficult to stay focused with the distractions of the game's graphics. Anakin and Kit moved with the skill of experience. In fact, they formed a silent agreement to eliminate Mace and Obi-Wan first so that they could face off against each other for the ultimate championship. Mace as DK punched Luigi so hard that he was pounded into the ground.
"He can't do that! Can he do that?" Obi-Wan gasped, quoting Mace from earlier.
Mace grinned. "All's fair in love and war, Obi-Wan," he said, quoting Obi-Wan from earlier.
"I've got your back, Windu!" Kit shouted, rolling a Yoshi-egg at Luigi. Obi-Wan tried to avoid it, but was hit with an arrow. The Jedi Master looked around frantically, trying to figure out where the arrow had come from. His eyes met Mace's. Mace pointed at Anakin, who grinned and waved at his former Master.
It didn't take long for Obi-Wan to "go flying" for the first time.
Anakin flew around the arena, shooting arrows and attacking with the sword. Kit rolled egg after egg, pretending to be on Mace's side one moment, then turning on him the next. Obi-Wan tried to throw in as many attacks as possible without being hit. Mace sent several victims into the ground.
Weapons appeared from boxes every once in awhile. Obi-Wan got ahold of a laser gun, then got frustrated when it stopped working. He pressed the button to throw it aside. Instead, it hit DK square in the face.
"Epic win, Master!" Anakin laughed. "That's the way you play Melee!" He sniffed again. "Stop growing up so fast. It's making my allergies flare up."
"Allergies. Right." Kit put his fist in his mouth, trying not to laugh.
Various other items came to them, such as umbrellas, baseball bats, and Mario Hammers. When a purple lightsaber came out, Mace went completely nuts.
"That's—give me that!" He grabbed it before anyone else could react. "Now I will pwn you all. There is no way you can escape the power of a lightsaber."
Kit grinned and mouthed He's doing it again.
Anakin smiled back and mouthed I know. It's hilarious, isn't it?
Mace started beating on Obi-Wan with the lightsaber. When he didn't get cut in half, Mace was beside himself with shock and embarrassment. "I lost it over that? It's hardly even a lightsaber! It doesn't work right!"
Anakin and Kit burst out laughing. "Remember Lego Star Wars, Master Windu?" Anakin said when he could finally breathe. "Lightsabers in video games don't work like they do in real life. If you could slice Obi-Wan in half with a flick of a weapon, this game wouldn't be interesting. Plus, you have to make someone go flying to eliminate them. Weapons just make meters go up."
While Mace was listening to Anakin educate him, Kit took the opportunity to eliminate DK. He went flying for the last time, leaving Mace speechless. The Korun Jedi Master did not want to look stupid again, so he stayed silent.
Obi-Wan was eliminated shortly after. That left Kit and Anakin to face off. It took a long time to reach the end. Both had no lives left and were stuck at 300% health. At last, Kit took Anakin out with a lightsaber. "Ha! Who says these things are useless in video games?"
Anakin made a face. "Don't make me use a real one."
Kit grinned. "Sore loser. Now I'm up against the other three." He knew already that he'd let Aayla alone. If she were to get eliminated, it would be by someone else.
Ahsoka proved a worthy opponent. She battered Aayla until the Twi'lek was eliminated for the last time. Aayla's excuse was that she never really was much of a gamer. Yoda also put up a fight. They were all equally matched and, for the longest time, the game was at a stalemate. Yoda finally decided to let the other two knock him out, as the game was getting nowhere.
"I'll pwn you like I pwned your Master," Kit said.
"Not nearly as easily," Ahsoka countered.
Thus, the battle continued. The two were dead silent as they gamed on. This was getting serious. Too serious for words. At last, Ahsoka knocked Kit skillfully out of the arena. She set the controller down, looking composed. There wasn't even a hint of jubilance on her face. All she did was calmly and maturely revel in her victory.
Disclaimer: I do not own Super Smash Bros Melee, nor do I own the inferred/implied joke from Big Bang Theory (Love that show!).