Hey y'all! Lately I have been dying to write some more OneShots, but I don't have many good ideas.

The Exorcism of Rachel Berry

Rachel and Finn are accidentally sent to Mars and must make peace with the Martians

Rachel drops her pencil

Santana dies alone of some obscure STD

Any more suggestions? PM me like now. Or you'll be forced to read one of these. Hehe.

Word to the wise: Beware of the foreshadowing. I may just be trying to trick you. Or not. Or yes. Or just plain confuse you.

And sorry about all those F-bombs… other than Finchelgasm, that is probably my other favorite word and I have noticed that people like the throw it in between words of a sentence repeatedly for emphasis. Do I have to change it to M? There's nothing graphically sexual, so I think T is ok.

Also, I feel the need to tell you how scared I am to have a baby one day. It sounds terrible. I'm going to go become a nun.

Love 2 all,

Princessgleeky

P.S. artsmatter: You reading like the good little girl I know you are? :D You better be. *face turns evil*

P.P.S. I'm not sure if they would have her go through with the labor in real life when she is several weeks premature, but for the sake of the story, she is having this baby the natural way. And because I would love to see whipped Finn :)

P. P. P. S. Once again, I have never had a baby or been around anyone about to have a baby. I was tiny when my mom had my sister. I am just imagining what it would be like, so, please, don't review telling me how I am wrong medically. The focus of this story is definitely on the characters and the plot, so please comment on that!

Kurtchel friendship FTW!

"Finn Hudson, you will never see another sun rise again…I swear…."

He wasn't quite sure how to respond to that comment. Should he apologize? Squeeze her hand tighter? Ask Rachel once again to explain why she wasn't allowed to have the baby yet and get in exchange the most frightening facial expression he had ever seen?

"I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. Just hurts… so… bad…" Rachel said through her teeth in between her groans and gasps, her face scrunched up in pain. She let out one final growl and lowered herself back down onto her bed, breathing a little softer each breath she took.

"Is that… uh… contradiction, like, done?" Finn asked innocently, looking up from his terrified gaze at his feet.

"Contraction, Finn. And. Don't. Talk. To. Me."

"Sorry," he responded in a small, meek voice.

This was terrifying. Rachel was terrifying. This baby was terrifying. His very fingers were numb and shaking violently, as much as he tried his absolute hardest not to think about what the next day held. Rachel Berry is fucking having my fucking baby. He felt nauseous just attempting to grasp the concept. He couldn't even take looking her anymore, her face soaked with sweat and her cheeks bright red. It was like watching a horror movie where the person he loved most in the world was being tortured and it was all his fault. Worst of all, there was nothing he could do to even improve the situation at all.

"I-I need a break. I'm sorry," Finn stammered nervously as he rose up from seat. Rachel looked so little and weak, such a change from the girl shrieking his name in fury just 2 minutes ago.

"No!" he felt a small hand grasp his arm tightly and pull him in. He jumped a little, but he let the small brunette envelope him in only the most intense embrace the world had ever seen.

"Please stay…" she mumbled into his chest, rubbing her nose fondly against his shirt.

"I'll stay. I'm right here, baby. I'm right here."

Rachel closed her eyes and reveled in the comforting touch of her boyfriend, the way he smelled, the way he rocked her gently back and forth and kissed her forehead chastely with his slightly chapped but silky smooth lips.

But not even the safest place on earth could erase her fear.

"I can't do it. I just- I just can't."

"Do what?" he asked as he lost himself in kissing every inch of her rich, dark hair. It was pulled into a messy ponytail, but it still looked as gorgeous as ever.

"H-Have a baby, Finn."

Great. Now she is having a nervous breakdown too. Finn wondered what he was supposed to say here. Tell her she can do it? No that sounded like something straight out of Dora. Say it's what her body was meant to do? No, that just sounded downright wrong. His dilemma reminded him of something Puck told him once about two years ago when he had just began dating Rachel: He had said that girls love it when guys give them big pep talks and compliment them. It was the best shot he had left at keeping the psychological disaster he was under wraps so at least someone could stay calm.

"Rachel," he began as he looked deep into her eyes as if searching them, exploring their beauty. "You are the girl who gets up in front of hundreds of people and never fails to blow them away every time with your incredible voice. You are so smart, so funny, so talented, so so so beautiful. Don't tell me you can play Franny Brice or whatever on Broadway but you can't get through this?"

She could feel her heart melting. She was growing warm and fuzzy all through her chest at the thought of it all.

"Finn, I-"she was interrupted by another intensely tight hug. She could feel his strong but gentle hand running through her hair once again, making the sweet feeling of safety wash over her once again. Right there, in his embrace: paradise.

"Oh gosh," she panted heavily, falling ungracefully down from her safe spot. Her hands sat planted themselves next to her legs, steadying her shaking body. This turn had gotten especially painful; as she groaned, a scream even escaped her lips, and cause all the people outside to stare with empty faces.

"My lord, Rachel Barbra Berry. How on earth have you gotten along without me here?" said a cool, high voice from the doorway, Finn catching himself feel a little less terrified.

"I brought some books on the importance of focusing on your breathing and the wonders that can do while you're in labor," Kurt Hummel stated simply, but in his ever-energetic tone of voice. He crossed to room to perch himself on Rachel's bed just next to Finn, calmly took Rachel's hands and tried to get her breathing in a more soothing way.

When she finally ended, she didn't fall backwards, but stayed sitting up.

"S-Sorry you had to walk in on… that…: she sighed.

"No problem. Unless Finn here is learned in the techniques of focused breathing and concentration used by cultures for millennia, I think I might come in handy."

Finn rolled his eyes, finding her hand in his once again and kissing it over and over again while Kurt began to drone on about the methods of the African tribes in 3000 B.C.E. in meditation, and it didn't seem like Rachel was even that interested anyway.

"Wait-Rach, how long was the last one?" Finn interrupted, receiving a look less than friendly from his step brother.

"I don't know… like a minute?"

"And there were 4 minutes in between, right?"

Rachel nodded, tucking her hair behind her ears.

A thousand emotions crossed his face: fear, excitement, anxiety, frustration as he ran, panting, into the hallway.

"Nurse! She's having it. It's time."

…

(11/2 hours later)

"What does a panic attack feel like?" asked Finn nonchalantly as he examined his finger nails outside of Rachel's room. Every so often, a shriek would escape and it felt like a Chinese gong to Finn's heart.

"Are you breathing?" asked Kurt.

Finn realized he was kind of panting, chugging water like there was no tomorrow, and shaking uncontrollably. It had been 1 hour since Rachel started delivering and he was already traumatized for life.

"Not… really…" he said, unsure of himself. He took another bite of the PB&J sandwhich his mother had forcibly given him, but dashing frantically into the men's room nearby to throw up.

God I'm such a crummy boyfriend. I not been there for most of the time.

As Finn tumbled out of the bathroom uncoordinatedly, Kurt rushed to his assistance and kept him from passing out as he walked back to his seat.

"T-Thanks."

He felt a small pat on his shoulder from the small teen next to him, and when he turned his head, Kurt's powder blue eyes struck him intensely.

"She will be fine. Just take some time to cool off, I'll be back out in a couple minutes-"

Finn shook his head violently back and forth.

"No! I am going in there and I'm going to be a man even if it kills me," he mentally coached himself, nodding. Feeling macho, he opened the door briefly and closed it tightly behind him, and he took in his surroundings.

Holy shit.

He decided right then that he really, really liked being a guy.

But Finn realized only shortly after that once again, this was not about him, but the girl next to him panting violently and covered in sweat from her neck up. Without letting go of her focus on the ceiling, Rachel took Finn's hand and squeezed it tightly as if the world depended on it.

"Come on Rachel," he cheered.

"I know you can do this."

…

By morning, Finn Hudson swore to God that he would probably never eat, ever again. And he would be nicer to girls. He had seen things that had scarred him for life and yet amazed him; he was never into the whole "Miracle of birth" thing, but when his Rachel pulled it off, it was a personal miracle.

A nurse walked calmly to Rachel's bed, holding a little pink blanket wrapped into a bundle, smiling radiantly. Strong, clear cries came from the bundle, reminding Finn a lot of the bundle's mommy. He smiled at Rachel with all the happiness he had ever felt in the whole world, and she returned the look.

Finn approached the nurse and asked if he could hold the bundle. She grinned, and nodded, carefully passing the baby into her father's arms.

Peeking out from the blanket was a little face- red, and scrunched up, but still undoubtedly the face of an angle. He felt something wet glide down his cheek, realizing awkwardly that he was crying. Of happiness. The warm fuzzy feeling holding his very own child gave him was indescribably, but it was the best he had ever felt in all of his existence.

Rachel reached out her arms to hold her daughter, pulling the bundle to her chest gently and touching the tip of the baby's nose with her index finger and smiling.

"I guess we're kind of a family…" whispered Finn, and he was met with a soft kiss from Rachel. He hopped onto the bed beside her and wrapped his arms around her middle, marveling at the most beautiful baby the world had ever seen.

"Names?" she said, nudging him.

"Uhh… right. Yeah," he chuckled.

"Can we name her Rachel?"

Rachel shook her head in disgust.

"Absolutely not. Remember, we are naming her after a Broadway star. I would really like her to be named Barbra, Finn."

He reached gently to take the bundle from his girlfriend, holding this little- person- close to his heart. He could still feel that intense bond between them, like their bodies just knew.

"Barbra can be her middle name, alright?" he sighed, exasperated, as Rachel in turn nodded.

"Fine," she muttered.

"What about Rayna? After you?" he suggested softly, a look of pure love shining in his eyes.

"It's pretty," she sighed, leaning onto his shoulder and kissing his neck gently.

"Ok." She rolled her eyes and he made a fist punch in the air.

"So, baby, your name is Rayna Barbra Hudson. Welcome to the world."

With her big brown eyes, Rayna looked at her parents in amazement, with wonder gracing her tiny features. She was so perfect, Finn didn't think anything could be so angelic, other than Rachel Berry herself.

"She's both of us, Finn," Rachel whispered, on the verge of tears, nuzzling his neck still as he stared in amazement at the little bundle.

Kurt popped his head in awkwardly, realizing immediately that the two new parents were sharing a moment, but was welcomed in my Finn, who had probably never been happier in his entire life.

"Kurt, there's someone I want you to meet…."

Terrible ending. I know.

But the story ain't over b!tches! No way!

Hint: The only road from here is down.

Love to all,

princessgleeky