(Chapter 12)

Peter slept for another 2 hours but continued to dream bits and pieces of things that made no sense to him. The images were fragmented, scattering out of view when he tried to see more until he felt a gentle hand wake him and his eyes popped open to see Elizabeth smiling.

"Come on sleepy head. We need to go see the doctor."

He wanted nothing more than to grab his wife in his arms and curl up with her in bed for the rest of the morning if not the whole day but as he thought back to the last few nights he knew he had to go to the doctor and find out a reason for these nightmares. Maybe it was just the medication or it might just be his worry about Neal but he felt there was more to it than the obvious answers. Peter sat up with a quiet groan and hugged her, his lips brushing hers as she grinned and kissed him back.

"I'll get the coffee ready, hun."

He nodded back sleepily, sitting up and wincing slightly as he felt the throbbing ache in his wounded leg. It's what had waken him last night, a vague reminder something was wrong with what he remembered about Friday. Peter brushed the thoughts away as a result of post traumatic shock and medicinal side effects as he eased himself to his feet and moved slowly down the hall to the bathroom. He was off work until his leg was healed up enough for him to go back. Hughes had insisted he stay away, especially after the delirious outbursts when he was shot and called out for Neal. Reese told him to go to the Bureau shrink and talk about Caffrey. There were issues there the Senior agent saw as unneeded attachments, another reason he was still siding with Atkins after the fiasco on Friday. Yes they caught and killed some bad people but Neal was gone, and it looked more and more like their CI might have been in league the more they dug up on The Turk and his followers.

The idea of Neal working willingly with that man made him sick, Peter closing the bathroom door as he limped quickly to the toilet and threw up. His body was aching some when he was done, a pain like he had just done too many sit ups in his chest as he flushed and moved to wash his hands. He stared at himself in the mirror, eyes hollow and tired looking, pupils too small he thought as they floated in a pale sea of brown. Peter felt off, El blaming the past few days and his injury but it was more than that, his mind refusing to tell him what he sensed was wrong but couldn't remember as he moved to start the shower. The hot water immediately began relaxing him as he slipped under the spray and closed his eyes.

Peter had been listening to someone talking, a tired feeling overcoming him as he tried to figure out where he was. He started to realize he was in the Taurus but sitting in the passenger seat. Someone was to his left in the driver's seat, their voice a steady buzz in the background. The landscape outside was static which meant they were parked. A building was just across the shoulder off road, rust colored... Before he could see what it was his attention turned from the window to the blurry figure. He saw lips moving but no face, their finger making a motion like a gun. Suddenly he watched his right hand take the gun from his holster then point down at the fleshy part of his thigh as he felt his finger pull the trigger. The sound seemed muffled but still reverberate throughout the parked vehicle. He barely flinched at the report much less the actual shot as it hit, his mind uncertain what he was seeing as the memory continued.

What was he doing? Why had he... shot himself? Was this real?

The voice kept talking, someone dabbing at the wound, wrapping it in bandages as he calmly replaced his gun back in its holster and he heard a single phrase:

The ultimate sacrifice.

Peter snapped out of the memory or had it been a dream? He finished showering, his addled mind uncertain what to think as he toweled off. The first-aid kit was already on the bathroom counter as he quickly dabbed some ointment onto the wound and placed fresh gauze on both sides. The wound still wept some, a little bleeding evident but there was no infection or signs of anything wrong as he finished the task and limped back to the bedroom to change. El had already laid out some comfortable loose khaki pants and a polo for him to wear. He quickly changed, his mind trying to recall all of what he'd seen in the shower when El called for him to come down and eat. He called back from the doorway as he finished dressing, slipped on his shoes and grabbed the crutches sitting by the bedroom door. He didn't really need crutches but the doctor had recommended them for extended walks and the stairs so here he was, hobbling noisily down the hallway to his stairs taking his time to ease his aching leg downwards without making it worse. He really wanted another pain pill but El had told him not until after the appointment so he would wait. He forgot about everything once the smell of fresh toast, eggs and coffee wafted towards him as he made it to the first floor. With nearly practiced ease he placed the crutches by the door and hobbled happily towards the kitchen.

()()()

The doctor's appointment did very little for Peter's attitude. Dr. Matthews gave him a lighter pain prescription hoping that would help with the nightmares but could see nothing wrong with the wound itself. It looked healthy, the skin healing well as he re-bandaged the injury. He recommended more rest if anything much to Peter's disappointment. El took him to the grocery store but made him wait in the car for her as she told him to relax. He stared out the window boredly, watching other people pass by from the market and neighboring shops when his eyes moved back into the car. He moved to open up the glove box when something sticky touched his fingers. Peter made a face wondering what it was has been smeared on the small compartment door as he brought his hand up to see. He was surprised to find that there was red on his fingers and it looked like dried blood.

A memory of the dream he'd had in the shower, fragmented images of himself sitting in the passenger seat as he was now came back but from a previous day. They were parked on the shoulder, a rust colored building to his right when he felt the pain and looked down to find blood oozing from his leg. Peter just stared at the wound as the memory continued and he saw the small splatter made. They had cleaned it up. Someone had cleaned his car but he...

His mind was fighting what it saw, seeing himself hurt in the gun raid and yet this other memory seemed far more real to him as he watched himself helping the other figure, blurry and dark, clean up his car of blood. He was limping as he finished the task, scooting back into the driver's seat as he left the figure behind. They whispered something that he couldn't understand, his ears fighting to comprehend but unable to.

"Peter... hun..."

He snapped awake, glancing around as if uncertain where he was before seeing the worried yet smiling face of his wife. El was glancing at him curiously as she placed the bags in the back seat and then handed him a bottled water and a small prescription bottle.

"He said you didn't need food with these and they shouldn't make you as spacey as the last batch. Just take one."

Peter nodded as he forgot about the odd memory, looking down at the bottle as he read the label then took one as he drank the water. El was smiling at him as she pulled out of the lot and they headed home. He continued to drink more of the cool liquid feeling the pain start to ease from his leg, his mind clearer he thought as he glanced outside the window. The scenery passed by when he saw that rust colored building in his mind's eye. He was trying to focus on the sign as it came into view. Gradually he could see what was on it. The memory was fuzzy but the building should be clearer if they weren't moving.

Knox Industrial Lifts

The agent sat up, turning towards his wife who just smiled at him but seemed curious by his look.

"Feeling better, hun?"

He nodded, another puzzle piece seemingly falling into place as he put the blood he'd found on the glove box and this memory together in the same place. Something was there but what?

"We're home. Did you need help getting out?"

Peter shook his head as they kissed, El exiting out her side and he easing himself out as he grabbed up his crutches and she closed the door for him. She waited for him at the top, door unlocked and opened as he hopped up the last step and immediately made for the sofa. El threw a blanket over him as he lay back and closed his eyes. He was tireder than he thought, mine mulling over the oddness of his two finds as he fell into a light sleep.

The agent part of him was suddenly walking around the dream like a virtual crime scene. He saw the image of himself shooting his own leg, the blood spatter pattern alerting him to other potential finds that might have been missed by the mystery man who had cleaned up after him. Then there was the mystery man: who was he and why had he been with him? He had the feeling they weren't an agent but why had they been driving?

The third puzzle piece was the rust colored building. It had been in his dreams, blurry and unseen until now. He had to find out a connection to it being in his nightmares. Still, the biggest mystery of all was Neal's disappearance. It fit in somewhere with all these clues but he couldn't see how, his face contorting some in his sleep as he saw two dull blue eyes staring back from his rear-view mirror. Neal had been there the day he went missing.

He had been at work and then...

Peter opened his eyes and looked around his quiet home. El was asleep in the recliner, Satchmo on his pillow lounging as the agent sat up quietly. He had pieces now, things he could look into as he did his best to tiptoe with his limp to the backdoor and sit out on the patio. His cell phone was in his hand as he dialed a familiar number. It was only 8:30 am so Diana or Jones should be heading to work. He tried both cell phones, Diana picking up on the second ring.

"Boss? How are you feeling? I would have thought you would be sleeping right now."

He told her about the doctor's appointment and wondered if she would want to come for lunch. Bring Jones. She sounded curious at his invitation but for now he just treated it as a casual call until he had them present. Perhaps he could get Elizabeth out of the house long enough to get what he wanted to do done.

"Sure, I can do that. Is there anything particular you want me to bring?"

He was dumbfounded a moment by the request then realized she knew what he was really asking. Diana was smart and he always liked smart.

"You and El need to get into the mind-reading business. Yes, bring what you can legally get away with. I might have something to add to the pile. Thanks, Diana."

He could imagine her bright smile on the other side grinning broadly at him as she replied back.

"No problem boss. I was just waiting for your call. Surprised you waited this long. See you at lunch."

Peter hung up the cell, going to the browser setting and looking up the place he recalled from the dream / memory. Knox Industrial Lifts was not too far from the side of town they'd looked into the warehouse from the hidden picture file. It was in fact on the way to the warehouses they had investigated. He couldn't go on his own but he could pass this on to his agents to investigate. He had found one clue to be real, now he had to figure out why while trying to figure out who the man with him in the car had been. Peter had shown up at the site alone to greet Diana. Mozzie had run off once they'd left the Bureau offices so it couldn't have been him. Besides, this had been a larger, leaner figure but the face still was too blurry to see, his head hurting when he tried so he worked on the next puzzle piece: the blood he found in his car. El hadn't noticed so whomever cleaned up had done a good job. He had been shot outside of the vehicle but there was obvious blood that matched his dream memory. If they had it tested and proved that it was his, that would mean...

The agent shivered, the light breeze that had been invigorating now chilling his body when the thought passed through him. He had shot himself. Peter tried to think how it could be but it was making sense the more he thought it and that terrified him. There had to be a reason to explain the conflicting memories. Both scenes fit and but in what order? Was the car scene after the warehouses or vice versa. Diana and Jones had been there, the latter finding him when he wandered over with the wound. They would remember him getting shot. He would ask them, his memory of the event still fuzzy from the drugs the EMT gave him to calm down when he'd gone into shock.

"Peter... what are you doing out here?"

Elizabeth had opened the door without him hearing, his thoughts taking him far enough away to be unaware of what was going on around him. She looked at him worriedly but he just smiled back. He wouldn't tell her yet until he was certain. Maybe it was just what he always read about people in car accidents and other traumatic events. Nobody ever remembered exactly what happened and in some cases they added details. Maybe he was just adding a fantastical explanation for his wounds but why he was seeing himself shoot his own leg, made no sense! He stiffened slightly as her hands gently kneaded his shoulders and El noticed, sitting down beside him.

"You're worried about Neal. I am too but you need to rest, Peter. I want him back safely too. Let the FBI and Marshalls do their job."

He nodded, smiling at her as he leaned over and kissed her lips. Would she look at him the same way if he told her his dream? He had told her parts but not all of it. He had never remembered more than the nightmare part before. There had been little details as to what actually happened to get him hurt on Friday. Diana and Jones only said what everyone else said: bullets were flying around and one must have hit him. Only one other person was grazed but not in the Bureau. That made him think his dream was wrong but the blood splatter said otherwise.

"Earth to Peter... I was going to make some lunch. Did you want devilled ham?"

He shook his head, getting up with her as they headed back inside. Peter wanted to tell her about everything but until he could get a good look at what he thought he remembered, he would keep it inside and wait.

"I'm just going to watch some TV. I think there's a game on ESPN."

()()()

It was a miracle beyond miracles when a client called with an emergency order around 11:30 am. El felt badly leaving him alone but he'd already mastered the stairs with and without crutches so he made sure she knew he would be ok as she left him to go work. She hoped to be back within an hour so that wasn't going to leave him much time if Diana and Jones showed up. They'd have to be quick. Peter sat up to kiss his wife as she insisted he stay on the sofa, her purse under her arm as she kissed him back and left. Once his wife had left, he pulled out the blood sample he had kept, dried flecks in a clean sandwich bag along with some of the dirt from his shoes. He hadn't worn his work shoes since Friday so there might be residue there that forensics might help identify what he had been doing before the shoot out.

It was 12:07 when he heard the first footsteps and peeked out to see Diana and Jones coming up the steps. He hobbled to the door and opened it up eagerly.

"Thanks for coming. What smells so good?"

There was a delicious scent wafting up from a plastic bag Jones was carrying. He knew what it was as soon as it hit his nose.

"Chinese. Figured you might not have eaten yet. Elizabeth around?"

Jones was peeking around curiously but Peter shook his head.

"Thankfully no. I'm sort of glad she had to go to work but we haven't much time. I need to... well come inside and I'll give you a briefing. It's not something I can easily explain."

()()()

He noticed some head scratching between the two agents as they finished listening to his story, the Chinese feast quickly vanishing between the three as Jones looked worried about something.

"You think Neal was at the Bureau that day? Are you certain? I could have Rudy bring up the surveillance from Friday and check... unofficially of course."

Diana looked like she was thinking hard about the story Peter had told them, her eyes bright with curiosity.

"So you were parked near this 'Knox Industrial Lifts' building. I could go take a look at the area you told me boss and see if there's any evidence. Seems most of it would be gone by now but I can look. Did you want us to ask Hughes about this?"

He thought a moment but shook his head. It was enough they wanted to help but for now it had to be quiet. In a way he was relieved, his friends and agents smiling back at him as if they could sense it.

"We'll keep this quiet until you tell us otherwise, boss. I thought it had been too easy to catch Sahin and Kasein, but this just proves it. I just hope... I hope your other memory isn't so accurate."

Diana was talking about the gun shot, Jones looking uncomfortable at the thought of it too. Peter had told them in confidence, hoping it would turn out to be something else from that bit of blood but if it ended up being his, he would have to talk to Reese directly. That was the condition. If it turned out NOT to be his blood, the memories were false and there was another reason for Neal's disappearance. If it did... they would go to Hughes and investigate further officially.

The three finished up the food, cleaning up before Peter saw them to the door and thanked them for being there. They gave him a nod promising to get back with as they headed back to work, their black SUV disappearing down the street as he closed the door and went back to sit on the sofa. There wasn't much more he could do now but wait for news and deal with the consequence, whatever it was. Peter leaned back against the sofa and closed his eyes, body relaxing as he tried to think of something else. The two sets of memories, real or not were making his head hurt.

Kasein will pay for what he did and so will our friend here.

The voice grew quiet, their words harder to understand as he stared up at a blurry set of figures standing above him. He thought they were talking about him at first til he heard a quiet whimper following what sounded like the sound of something blunt hitting flesh. His eyes turned towards the sound and he could see one more figure standing hunched over, arms over their head. He tried to focus and found it was Neal, arms bound over his head and hanging limply from the ceiling. One of the other figures moved closer to the young man and punched him hard in the chest before another pulled out something small and pen-like.

The ultimate sacrifice. Their lives for the one I lost. Maryam will not be the only one.

His vision continued to blur in and out in the memory but he could see the marks now. Dark lines on Neal's arm where they were injecting him with something. Peter struggled to free himself but his body wouldn't move but for a weak twitch of his fingers. Once they were done with the injection, someone took the young man away, the agent seeing dark blue eyes gazing down at him.

You will remember none of this, Peter. Your friend is lost to you forever. His destiny was pre-ordained the day my niece was killed. And you will share in his misery.

He could see the man's face now, features coming into focus as they drew closer. His sleeve was rolled up and something sharp pricked at his skin before he felt that odd blankness start to eat at his mind. Neal had given him something in the car at the Bureau. Something powerful it worked fast. He fought to keep his thoughts clear but the man was still speaking, words etched in his mind despite wanting to fight what was being said.

Remember your role, Peter. Your friend will be a living matyr and you will be his biggest regret.

oOoOoOo

Author's Note: Peter is starting to remember what really happened. Where is Neal? What is this thing that's going to happen? New chapter coming soon!