Phil probably drove at the speed of light to reach my house in the time he did. Or maybe he was already on his way over. He hadn't mentioned the incident with Dan and I, and hopefully he would never. I still don't know how I feel about Dan and I kissing, I mean, I liked it, he kissed amazingly, but he would never actually like me for a long time, he's probably using me, and once he gets what he wants, he will be out of my life faster than you could say "cat whiskers."

My front door was banged by a fist, a total of three times and then stopped, signaling someone was at the door. I opened the door to see a very breathless Phil, holding a tiny furball about the size of my fist. "What is that Phil?" I tiredly said through my sore voice from crying last night. "It's a kitten, and it's here to make you happy!" he cheered.

I smiled, confused and a little happy. A lot happy, actually. I didn't know where he had gotten the thing, or what had made him decide to bring it, but something about it was very "Phil". I opened the door as wide as I could, letting Phil in. He carried the tiny thing is his arms like a baby, stopping in front of the TV. "Can I sit down?" he asked, nodding towards the couch. I smiled and nodded, "Yeah, totally." I started re-arranging all the pillows, nervous Phil might not be comfortable, but he grabs my arm.

"No, I'm fine. Just sit down," said Phil. I sheepishly sat down, a careful amount away from him. He sets the kitten between us, and I watch as it stumbles towards the edge. "Nope!" says Phil, picking it up and depositing it on my lap, "I hope you're not allergic." I shake my head, "I'm not."

I look at the cat. It has green eyes, with tiny little flecks of red in them. I'm not sure how old it is, but it's obviously young. It can still barely walk, stumbling around on its stubby legs. The cat's fur is totally black, except for one white front paw and a spot on its nose. I look at Phil.

"Where'd you get it?" I ask, "And aren't you allergic?" I know for a fact that Phil is allergic to cats, he's said so in multiple videos, like the Cat Café one. I better not make him have some intense allergic reaction. I don't want to be the one to kill AmazingPhil. I also realize how much of a stalker I look like knowing what he's allergic to. "Yeah, I'm allergic," he says, "But I'll be fine, it's still small. She doesn't shed too much. And I got her from my mum, her cat had kittens and you needed one." I pick the baby up, smiling and looking into her pretty eyes.

"Well, thanks. She's amazing. Better than amazing. Does she have a name?" I ask. Phil shakes his head, "I figured you might want to name her." Looking at the little cat, I think of all the possible names for her. Well, there's always "Luck." A bit of an ironic name for a black cat, which is always amazing. I could also call her Midnight, since I had a cat named that as a kid. Still, she died years ago, I need not rip open those scars. I did once see a black cat called Marceline, a name I love from Adventure Time. Looking at the little kitten, I decide she looks like a Marceline.

"Her name's Marceline," I inform Phil, scooting a little closer to him on the couch. Not too close though, I did just go and kiss Dan. Phil smiles, "I love that name. Like Adventure Time, right?" he asks. I nod, "Love that show. I think she looks like a Marceline as well." He peers into her tiny green eyes and squints, smiling at some unknown thing. "She does. You get the Phil stamp of approval!" he cries. I smile and hug her, then, Phil, sandwiching the kitten in between us.

The hug is long, but not in an awkward way. In a friend way, just feeling each other and knowing that we were there, and that Phil was there for me. Even the fact that my breath was probably right at his neck didn't faze me for that moment, and the fact that Phil's breath was on my neck was only comforting. In the time we hugged, I noticed that his hair smelled like raspberries and cologne. It was soft too, like feathers in a pillow. His hands were warm on my back, and clasped around me like a blanket, totally enveloping me in a big, case of Phil. For that moment, everything was OK.

Then, the newly dubbed Marceline realized she was being smothered, and let out a loud "Mew!", alerting me and Phil that she was squished and an unhappy kitten. We separated, both looking down at the cat to make sure she was OK. She was fine, but the moment was over.

I awkwardly cough, the room back to suffocating silence. "So how are you doing? You know, feeling-wise." Phil says breaking through the quiet. "Do you want the short answer or long one?" I ask, hoping he would pick the first, but he probably wouldn't. "Both," he says, "the short one first."

"I'm fine." He looks at me with pity hovering in his eyes, "Now the long one?"

"I feel like I'm drowning. I can't escape. I know people love me, but they would be able to get over it if I died, I'm that one friend that people know, but don't compliment, the one person that seems to be in this world for no reason, I'm a waste of space. The cuts distract me from reality, it's much easier to deal with physical pain than emotional pain, it helps to know I'm here and real and realizing that I bleed blood just like every other fucking human on this planet helps me to realize that I am full of imperfections and no one will ever like a fat ass like me anyway. I mean, look at it like this, would you kiss her lips, knowing a razor has kissed her wrist? Yeah, I didn't think so." I said. For a moment I just wanted to punch something, but instead I hug the kitten and sob a little. Phil is quiet. I sigh. I've scared him, haven't I?

"I would kiss her," he says, "If I knew that she was amazing, and if I knew that she was worth my time." He looks empathetically into my eyes and pulls me into a hug, and I know that by "she" he means me. Except Dan already has me.

/ Guys you don't even know! I was staying with a roommate for a while, and she made me write all of this. She did add the part with the kitten, which I find a little cliché, but still, pretty awesome. Is that cliché? We'll see, just tell me in review! Anyway, sorry for no updates, just been SUPER BUSY this summer. Thanks Bandits! /