Chapter 12

Nell looked up as Nate mentioned coffee. "Over there." She pointed to the instant having not made a pot like she usually did.

"No pot?" Callen asked.

"It's Christmas, I made hot chocolate, with whipped cream."

"Like Mr. Nate did, when you guys found me?!" Marty grinned looking at him. "Can we have that please Mr. Nate?" he asked.

Nate put the jar of coffee down, not noticing Nell's sigh of relief. "Sure, you gonna help."

"I …Yeah…er…NO!" Marty yelped as he sat back down, grabbing a napkin and placing it in his lap. "I…er…I'm eating," he said quickly, shooting a look of panic at Callen who immediately understood.

"I'll help you Nate, Marty needs to save his strength." Callen said getting up and walking to the counter with Nate.

"Puberty?" Nate whispered looking at an uncomfortable Marty trying to hold a conversation with Hetty as he shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

Callen nodded, "Yeah so what do we put on this hot chocolate thing then?" he asked.

Nate walked him through the steps.

"Hey kid, you want this?" Callen asked as he brought the drink to Marty.

Marty flinched and nodded, "Yes please."

Callen smiled and placed it in front of him, oblivious to the look Nate gave him.

"Callen I need some help with something, can you give me a hand?" he asked.

"Sure." Callen said, He looked at Nell and kissed her cheek, "I won't be long." He said and followed Nate outside.

Nate stood a little way from the house and waited as Callen walked over to him.

"What are you doing?" Nate asked gently.

"Helping you?" Callen asked looking for whatever it was Nate could possibly need help with.

"A few days ago, you were calling Marty Shaggy, you were doting on him, and now you're calling him kid?"

Callen looked at Nate, "So…"

"So his father called him kid, and beat him. Did you not see the look on his face?"

Callen shrugged, "I didn't think about it, I mean, he's growing now he'll be an adult in a few days, he won't need me any more." He said turning his back on Nate.

"Maybe so, but G, you knew this. You need to not turn into his father."

"I wasn't going to hurt him!" Callen snapped.

Nate looked at Callen, resisting the urge to grab him gently by the shoulders, "Callen…right now I want to turn you and grasp you by the shoulders, and do you know why I'm not?" He asked.

"Coz I'll kill you." Callen growled out moving away from him.

Nate sighed and shook his head. "No, because you have issues from your childhood, touching without warning is one of your triggers." He held up his hands as Callen went to protest.

"It's not obvious to everyone, I'm your therapist and I've been working with you for years now, I notice these things it's my job."

"What does this have to do with me and Marty?" Callen snapped. He started pacing the back porch he wanted this time to be special for Marty and hearing that he might have hurt him ate at the pit of his stomach.

"You're pulling away from him,"

"No I'm not!" Callen protested, "I sat with him this morning, and we talked."

"Because he was scared and needed you, not because you wanted to." Nate observed.

"Who the heck ever wants to have that conversation?" Callen asked.

Nate shrugged, "Parents with their children."

Callen slumped, "I made a mistake didn't I…I knew I was no good at this, it's his first Christmas and I ruined it." He sat in the wall outside his home, noting the concerned look Nell was giving him from inside. He shot her a small smile and nodded; she smiled back and turned away.

"I should just go, leave you guys to it." Callen said.

"You think you'll do him any good by leaving him today of all days," Nate admonished him.

"He'll forget about me, he'll grow up, the team will move on…" Callen thought back to the amount of times in his life he'd moved on and been forgotten within hours.

"Callen this is Deeks. Remember? He remembers everything." Nate prodded. "Besides Nell will need you around too." He added.

"Yeah, Sorry Nate. I can't leave her to look after Marty alone,"

"That's not…" Nate looked over at Callen, "you're scared?" he asked shocked.

"I am scared. I am scared that the whole team dynamic won't work when he's big, if he remembers this…which I forgot, he will." He said, "I need to make this time good for him. He's going to go through a lot in the next few days, it's gonna be painful…" Callen sighed, "I can't let him do this alone, but I want our Deeks back, what if by helping him, he doesn't become the Deeks we know, what if I make a mistake and he turns out different?"

"He can't be any worse." Nate smiled.

"Deeks is a great undercover agent, mostly because he had to live his life undercover, hiding his true feelings and pain, what if by helping him; I end up destroying that edge." Callen said.

Nate stood between him and the house.

"If you could go back to your childhood and someone offered you the chance of being a kid again, but without the pain, rejection and suffering you had to go through, knowing that it might change slightly the person you'd become…would you do it?" Nate asked.

"This isn't me," Callen snapped.

"Hypothetically, would you?" Nate asked.

Callen opened his mouth, but couldn't answer so he just nodded his head, "To be a kid, like the ones I see in the playgrounds, the happy ones…yeah, yeah I would." He blinked back a tear, turning away so Nate couldn't see.

"Give him that, don't push him away." Nate said.

"I'm sorry Nate, I messed up didn't I," Callen sighed.

Nate smiled, "No, you didn't mess up, just wobbled a bit, you needed steadying that's all. It happens to all parents, you're just doing it in hours instead of years," Nate smiled at him reassuringly. "Now I think Marty wants you." He said gesturing to the window where Marty was watching concerned but also trying to hold in his excitement.

Callen and Nate walked back into the house, "Look!" Marty came barreling into Callen, "Momma says we can open the presents." He said excitedly.

Hetty and Nell had taken seats on the couch and Callen sat in his chair, content to sit back and watch as he had in years gone by.

Marty picked a present up off the pile, "Nell!" he read the label and handed her a present.

"Thank you." She said as she took it.

"He..Hetty." Marty's face lit up as he got her name right.

"Thank you Martin." She said, "Your reading is improving." She complemented him and was rewarded with a huge smile.

"Nel…no wait….Nate." He handed a present to Nate, who thanked him and held it in his lap, watching as the boy stumbled over his words but was definitely improving.

"G!" Marty all but yelled,

"What?" Callen looked shocked, Marty's face fell.

"It say's G…there is nothing else…that is you isn't it…did I get it wrong?" He looked up worried.

"No…no, you did great son." Callen said, Marty's smile grew wider. "It's just that I've never gotten a present before, I was just surprised."

"I gave you your first present?" Marty asked.

Callen laughed, "Yeah…yeah ya did…hang on."

Callen got on his hands and knees and crawled under the tree, "My turn, Marty…" he said handing the boy a piece of string with a label on it. "You might want to follow the string." He coached.

Marty looked at the string, "Really?"

He started balling up the string and Callen and the others followed Marty out to the backyard.

Where the string was tacked to a big red bow wrapped around a huge surf board.

"You…you got me a surf board…all my own!" Marty's jaw dropped as he ran towards it. "It's awesome…Ray was gonna teach me to surf, you wait till I tell him!" he practically bounced on his feet.

He stopped as a thought hit him, "Ray doesn't know about me being here does he?"

"Ray's moved away, I have his address you can write to him if you want." Nell offered.

"Yeah…I really wanted Ray to teach me to surf though." He said disappointed.

"I think I know someone who can teach you." Nell said.

"Really?!" Marty smiled again.

"If she doesn't I know a few people too." Hetty said.

"I'd listen to her, Hetty knows loads of people." Callen mock whispered in his ear.

"I have a friend who would give you surfing lessons, Bruce Irons, I believe he is a surfer." She said in her usual deadpan manner as Marty's jaw dropped.

"You know Bruce Irons! And he'd teach me to surf…?!" Marty nearly fainted; He was his idol and had been for about a year.

"He has agreed to give you a lesson tomorrow; it is a part of my present to you." Hetty said.

She was nearly bowled over by what Callen was starting to call hurricane Marty.

"Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!" Marty yelled excitedly. "WHOO HOO!" he jumped around until Nell put a hand on his shoulder.

"Ok calm down we get it, you're excited," she laughed, "But you have other presents inside, shall we?" she offered.

They went inside Marty telling Callen all about Bruce Irons and how he was the best surfer in the whole entire world. Callen smiled and listened to his every word.

Nell sat on the floor by the tree. "Marty, these are for you too." she handed him a set of parcels.

Marty looked for permission to open them, with each one his face grew happier, "Books…I got BOOKS!" he practically thrummed with excitement, "And pencils and paper…," he was practically crying. "Thank you everyone."

He sat in the corner with his books as the others opened their gifts, each stealing glances at the boy as he sat his tongue half way out between his lips as he concentrated on trying to read the words in the book totally absorbed in what he was doing.

Nate looked at his gift, a gift set to a magazine he'd been meaning to subscribe to. "Thanks guys, this is just what I wanted." He said.

Hetty had a packet of an exotic tea, "How on earth did you manage to get this?" she asked.

"Iran…Janvier. I picked it up then." He said.

"I didn't like him?" Marty said absentmindedly.

The others all looked at each other.

"Didn't like who?" Nell asked kneeling near Marty.

"Janvier, it's the name of the man in my nightmares." He looked up suddenly afraid, "He hurt my mouth…it was worse than when daddy hits me, I remember a beautiful angel, she came to me and told me the pain wasn't real, and that I should forget about it and dream about her smile." He said, "He's not going to hurt me is he?" he asked.

"No." Callen said, "Janvier can't hurt anyone now." He promised him.

Marty nodded and went straight back to his book.

Nate shook his head at the others and they kept their voices low, "He's remembering some things from before this happened, I think he thinks it's a dream, for now let him think that," Nate changed the subject, "Callen, what did you get as a present."

Callen smiled for a second remembering the red fire truck, "There was only one present I wanted as a kid, I already got that." He said.

"This is from me Mr. Callen." Hetty handed him and envelope, "I discovered it in a file and thought you'd like it."

It was a picture of Callen as a baby with his sister, "Amy…" he breathed as he traced her features with his fingertips, "Thank you."

Nate gave him and envelope too. "These are home made and you can only use one at a time."

Callen opened the envelope and laughed, "Get out of jail free cards?" he laughed. He read the writing out, "One card to be used for one question on one psyche evaluation only at a time. This card will exclude you from having to answer said question at that time, it cannot be used on repeat occasions."

Callen laughed, "I may have Eric make me more." Nate laughed as well.

"My turn." Nell said and handed him a long thin box. "This is a 'to be used later', present too." She told him.

He opened the box and looked at the plastic stick inside.

"No?" he breathed, "For real?!" he looked at her having not seen what was inside the other two although they had guess were really in the dark.

Callen stood up and walked towards her and dropped to his knees, "Honestly…us?!" he asked.

She nodded, "Are you pleased?" she asked holding her breath.

Callen looked up with tears in his eyes, "Yeah…when?" he asked.

"Six to seven months." She said.

Hetty smiled "Congratulations my dears."

Callen turned to Nate, "Nell's pregnant, I'm gonna be a father."

Marty looked up at that, "I'm gonna be a big brother?" he asked his voice a bit shaky. He got up and walked to Nell, "Is it a boy or girl, where is it?" he asked.

"I'm pregnant, it's inside me," Nell told him.

Marty looked at the adults standing there all smiling. "How did it get in there?" he asked amazed.

Callen stepped back as everyone including Marty turned to look at him.

"I…I…" Callen stammered.

"I think Mr. Callen, it's time you and young Marty had a little talk." Hetty said.

Callen looked at Nate panic on his face, "Help!" he whispered as Marty sat down waiting for Callen to explain.