This Chapter contains NSFW content.
I'm so sorry (not sorry) for writing this.
Lapis had a very rough time sleeping after waking up at 2am from another one of those dreams. What the fuck was going on with her brain? Yesterday she had felt such a indeterminable amount of sadness; she had pulled apart one of her razors, and sliced open both of her wrists, just to clear her mind of the feeling of depression clouding her mind. When that hadn't worked, and she saw the blood trickling down her wrists, she freaked out. They were little cuts, but it was enough to make her hate herself and try to freeze her feelings away in the shower.
She didn't know what she had wanted, other than to not feel anything at all at that point. When Jasper had come home and she felt her warmth against her, it was such an amazing feeling she never wanted it to end. It felt so good, she almost yearned to do it again, to see if she could get the larger woman to cuddle her like that once more. She was still mad at Steven for getting her so worked up; triggering her into a mental breakdown. It wasn't all his fault though. If she already had doubts about whether or not Jasper would lie to her, then what was the point in being in a relationship with her?
She shifted her body so she was laying on her back, stretching her legs out towards the foot of the bed. The soft sheets felt good against her cold skin, relaxing her; motivating her. When yesterday she hadn't wanted to feel anything at all, she suddenly wanted to feel everything. She ran her hands down across her sides, down her hips and thighs. As she brought them back up, she scraped her cobalt blue nails against her skin, dragging them back up to rest against her ribs. The pressure she had applied had stung pleasantly, sending tingly sensations down her legs into the tips of her toes.
She couldn't help but think herself a freak; wondering if normal people did things like this to themselves. The truth was; she really didn't care. She closed her eyes, and let her hands explore. It was like she were relearning herself, and it had been a while since she had touched herself. She felt like she couldn't help it now, she was too riled up to stop.
As she moved up to grip her breast in her hand, she elbowed Jasper in the back accidentally, causing her to freeze up. What would the larger woman think of her if she woke up now, and saw how hopelessly pathetic she was? The more she thought about it, the more she wanted her to wake up; how much more fun would it be if it were Jasper pleasing her, and not herself?
She slid her body against Jasper's, and gripped the larger woman's hip, before reaching her hand up to fondle Jasper's breast. She grazed her teeth against the tattooed woman's shoulder, testing it out; waiting to see if the other woman would wake up. She couldn't resist, so she bit her teeth down. To her surprise, Jasper let out a raspy moan. Did this mean the larger woman was awake?
She scooted backwards, and Jasper turned onto her back. Her eyes were still closed; leaving Lapis wondering if she was still asleep or... was she faking it? Lapis smiled a little to herself as she prepared to test out a theory she had.
She got up on her knees, and bent over Jasper, running her fingernails down her stomach and across her naval. Jasper stirred, but didn't wake up. Lapis was heaving with excitement; she bit under Jasper's breast into her ribs, elated at the moan she got from it. She brought her head back and moved lower, biting on that strawberry that always taunted her, and sucking hard on it.
Jasper finally woke up, seemingly disoriented at first, until Lapis bit her again, causing her to release another surprised moan. She was pleased, watching Jasper's conflicted emotions from the light of the lava lamp, like the larger woman couldn't decide if she liked it or not.
"Lapis..."
Lapis didn't let Jasper talk, instead she sunk her teeth into the larger woman's stomach, hearing what she thought sounded like a joyful whimper. Jasper did like to be bit, and it was really turning her on.
"W-What time is it?" Jasper muttered, gripping Lapis' hair tightly between her fingers as Lapis squeezed her inner thigh and grazed her teeth against the sensitive strawberry on Jasper's hip.
"Mm... 3:30..."
"Come here... little shark.. stop biting me." Jasper said, turning on her side and hoisting Lapis up into her arms, preventing her from continuing to bite the larger woman.
"Awe, you seemed to like it." She whined.
Jasper gave no response. Lapis touched the woman's cheek, and felt it heat up under her fingertips.
"Let's see if you like it!" Jasper exclaimed suddenly, flipping Lapis underneath her, causing her to smile excitedly. Jasper leaned into her and bit the apex of her neck, making Lapis gleefully grasp either side of Jasper's muscular thighs, groaning against the larger woman's warm mouth. Jasper sat back and looked at her with a wide-eyed expression. "You do.. like it?"
"Hnng... No more talking, Jasper."
JASPER
Jasper couldn't say she didn't like being woken up in such a way. Lapis' excitement was contagious, even if she was super tired at first.
Lapis pulled her hair, forcing her down for a needy kiss, biting her lip and giggling against her. Jasper let her hands grip Lapis' shoulders, running them down her arms and bringing them back up, feeling her touch ignite a line of goosebumps along the smaller woman's arms. The softness of Lapis' skin delighted her senses; she could feel the rising and falling of the smaller woman's chest beneath her as her hands explored, discovering those sensitive areas that drove Lapis wild with desire. She palmed the girl's neck, gently running her thumb against her throat, feeling a small vibrating hum against her finger.
The smaller woman wriggled beneath her, gripping her hand and guiding it down her body until it reached the burning heat between her opened thighs. Jasper laid next to her girlfriend, propped up on an elbow, hand and fingers slowly caressing Lapis' folds; she grinned to herself when the other woman bucked impatiently against her hand, her body softly gyrating for more attention.
Jasper watched Lapis' face with wonder, noting how when she rubbed her middle finger around the blue-haired girls' heated entrance, her lips parted, letting out a shrill little whimper.
"Jasper..." Lapis moaned.
She couldn't express in words how much she loved hearing her name escape those lips, from a voice completely laced with desire.
Jasper's middle finger slid inside of the smaller woman, and she pushed her mouth against Lapis', stifling her moans; instead causing the other woman to kiss her hungrily. She slipped another finger inside, and rubbed her thumb against Lapis' clit, feeling the small bundle of nerves harden against her touch.
She stroked the smaller woman's sweet spot, while trailing hard kisses against her neck; her tongue and teeth grazing and biting against her flesh leaving Lapis aching for more. The smaller woman arched her back against her arm, and Jasper's tongue lapped at one of her nipples, rolling the erect nub between her teeth before sucking hard on it.
"Mm... Jasper... yes... hnng..."
Jasper could feel Lapis' walls tighten around her fingers and relubricate, causing her digits to slick harder and faster inside her. Lapis' hips rose off the bed, and Jasper sunk her teeth against her ribs. Lapis moaned loudly, arching her back and flinging her arms around Jasper's neck and involuntarily squeezing her face against her breast as her climax washed over her.
Knowing there wasn't much more time before she had to go to work, Jasper embraced her panting girlfriend, resting her ear against her throbbing chest; the sound of her heart beating against her ribs was enough to prove this woman was thriving and alive.
"You must think I'm weird..." Lapis mumbled, her breath catching awkwardly in her throat.
Jasper lifted her head to get a better look at Lapis, who looked suddenly saddened and downcast. She put her opened mouth against Lapis' cheek and gave her a raspberry. Lapis giggled, and pushed against her face with the palms of her hands.
"No more sad talk. You're not weird. I consider this a healthy way to release your stress and anxiety, let's do this more." Jasper growled, amicably, tickling Lapis' sides and blowing a raspberry against her stomach. "I need to get ready for work though."
"Jasper." Lapis said, grabbing a hold of her wrist as she attempted to sit up out of the bed. Jasper sat back down and faced her.
"Hm?"
"Thank-you."
"You're too cute!" Jasper pounced on the smaller woman, and snuggled against her, before finally standing up to get ready for work. "Hey, I'll see you at school later, I love you."
"I love you too.
xxx
LAPIS
It was amazing what sex had done for her brain. Jasper's touch alone made her feel needed, beautiful; made her feel like she was everything to that platinum haired woman. She only felt bad that she couldn't return the favor, but she didn't seem to mind.
She laid her bag down on the table, sitting next to Pearl again, since she was no longer mad at the woman. She still hadn't heard anything about what had happened between the thin woman and Amethyst, and she was legitimately curious to know all about it. When she actually sat in her chair, she couldn't help but notice how Pearl subtly scooted her chair away from her.
"Pearl, are you okay?" Lapis asked, pulling out her notebook and pencils and laying them neatly on the table.
"No, I'm not okay!"
Lapis was taken aback by this sudden outburst from the thin woman sitting next to her. She studied Pearl's face, looking for some kind of hint as to why she was upset. So, instead of waiting for an explanation she just went off on her.
"If you're mad because you slept with Amethyst when you were drunk, you can be, but if you're mad at me you just... fuck off!"
"Wha...? No, Lapis... I'm not mad that I slept with Amethyst."
"You're not?"
"Ugh, Lapis why do you have to be so nosy? Okay so Amethyst and I did the 'deed' okay? What? You want details? You're such a dirty pervert but I guess I'll tell you."
Lapis found it pretty funny that she hadn't said anything else and Pearl just kept going, describing how awesome her first time with Amethyst was. She rolled her eyes at Pearl's description; she definitely would not make good money as an erotic literature author.
"-I fell asleep. God Lapis, I'm so embarrassed!" Pearl shrieked, causing several students sitting in front of them to turn around and glare at the woman.
"Shh... God, Pearl! That's why you're so uptight?" Lapis chuckled, covering her mouth to try and stifle her giggles from being noticed by the Professor.
"I just feel terrible for not reciprocating oral sex! Then I clammed up in the morning when I sobered up, and fled before she could wake up! I'm terrible!"
"You know there was an easier way to handle that situation..." Lapis snorted, making the Professor glare up at her.
"Miss Lazuli, if you can't handle sitting in the back, then you can just come and sit next to Miss Caria."
Lapis choked on her spit. Did he just say Caria...? She gathered her things, and slowly made her way to the front, noticing for the first time that she was in her Physics class; and now she had to sit next to her.
FUCK.
Almandine had the cockiest, shittiest grin on her face, and when Lapis sat down next to her, she hooked her foot around the leg of her chair and pulled her closer. The red-haired woman dug her nails into Lapis' jeans, and she could still feel the sharp stinging; unwanted pain through the fabric of her pants.
"Well, if it isn't the little disowned slut. How does it feel being hated by your own parents, bitch?" Almandine hissed quietly; Lapis had a hard time biting back the urge to whine at the pain she was being caused.
"Fuck. Off." Lapis breathed, channeling the pain away and closing off her thoughts. Why would the Professor do this to her?
"What is this?" Almandine asked, the tips of her course fingers finding the small cut on her wrist as the unsolicited touching continued; all Lapis could do was hope for it to stop. Almandine, surprisingly, withdrew her hand and pushed Lapis' chair away with the heel of her boot.
Lapis fled her seat as fast as she could when the Professor released them from class. She ended up turning down the wrong hallway though, backpedaling a little upon seeing two people standing in front of her. Honestly at first glance it looked like a couple being intimate. She pushed her back against the wall, and sighed, unable to stop herself from eavesdropping after hearing voices down the hallway.
"Why are you playing hard to get? I was told this was going to be easy..."
Ugh, sounded like another douche bag picking on someone. Time to put her fighting skills to the test. She cracked her knuckles like she had seen Jasper do so many times, unsure as to why to larger woman actually did it. Other than the surprisingly pleasing feeling she had from hearing the 'pop' of her cartilage. She dropped her bag and rounded the corner, to see some guy groping up on Peridot and trying to get her to kiss him. Peridot.
"Hey!" She screamed, causing both of them to look up at her in shock. She recognized the guy as Jason, the asshole from the weight room. Upon seeing her he let go of Peridot, who slid against the wall.
"You." He looked around, seemingly satisfied with the fact that Jasper was no where to be seen. Well, she assumed that was what he was looking for, because he lunged towards her with quick movement. She shoved her knee up into his groin after sidestepping his attempt to grab her shoulders. He fell to the ground and she kicked her foot into his stomach.
"Peridot, come on." Lapis held out her hand, and waited for the blonde woman to take it, but she didn't. Her body was shaking. So, Lapis hooked her arm around her elbow and pulled her up, a little surprised that the woman cooperated with her. She grabbed her bag, and Peridot suddenly took the lead, dragging her across campus towards the dorms.
Peridot pulled her inside her room and locked the door, flipping the light on before sitting at her desk. Lapis' stomach churned as she looked around the room, seeing pictures of her and Jasper adorning the wall. Peridot hadn't moved on, and it was a little creepy to her seeing all these pictures of them together.
"Peridot, what in the world is going on? Why was that guy hassling you? No, why were you letting him hassle you? You didn't seem to be too eager to leave..."
Peridot rotated her chair so she was facing Lapis, pulling at her collar nervously.
"Because I don't deserve anything better than that." She said simply, staring coldly at her.
"What!?"
This woman infuriated her. She grabbed the collar of Peridot's turtleneck and pulled on it. She gritted her teeth and glared down at the blonde.
"Look at you. You're just like them." Peridot said quietly, her voice full of hurt.
You're just like them...
She let go of Peridot, and sat on her bed, picking up a picture of Jasper and Peridot at an amusement Park, standing in front of a large roller coaster. They were smiling and making funny faces at whoever was taking the picture.
"I'm sorry Peridot. I'm sorry for grabbing you. But I'm not sorry for intervening."
She couldn't help but wonder if that was how Pearl had felt when she barged into her room...
Peridot stood up then, and ran her hand through her hair. She faced Lapis, hooking her fingers under her sweater, causing Lapis to blush. Was she really taking off her... shirt.. Oh. My. God. Peridot pulled the sweater completely off, and slid out of her pants. Lapis now understood why she wore such conservative clothing. She stood before her, arms crossed in front her chest, with nothing but a bra and panties on.
It was finally laid out in front of her, why Peridot was the way she was. The bruises and cuts along her body made Lapis feel so sick, she grabbed a small trashcan and held back the urge to vomit. She wouldn't be able to live it down if she suddenly hurled, but it was just so sickening what they were doing to Peridot.
"Don't you see, Lapis? I'm just their meat bag, their messenger girl, I'm meaningless, I'm..." She rubbed her eyes with her fists before pointing to the yellow diamond etched in black on her chest. "I don't even know why I"m telling you all this, because now I'm probably dead."
"Peri..." Lapis stood from the bed and ambled cautiously over to the freckled woman, who shrunk away from her as she approached. "Why are you doing this... Why don't you ask for help? I want to help you..."
Peridot bit her lip and looked away from Lapis, so she did what felt right at that moment, and she embraced Peridot, gently holding the battered woman against her chest. It was then that Peridot broke down, finally showing Lapis the emotion she knew had been there, hiding beneath her emotionless facade.
JASPER
God. Jasper couldn't help but think about how she had the best girlfriend in the whole world. She had definitely left her yearning for attention. She was just happy that Lapis hadn't been sad anymore because the thought of losing her, was something she wouldn't be able to deal with.
She was now headed towards Peridork's dorm, because Lapis had said to meet her there. She sad it was important. She walked right in, only to see Lapis pounding on the bathroom door and screaming obscenities through the wood. Jasper didn't even stop to ask her what was wrong, instead she kicked the door in, despite shrieking from Peridot, and stopped to stare at the mostly naked woman standing before her. She suddenly felt like her heart was shattering in one thousand tiny little pieces.
"I told you to come to me..." Was all she could manage to say, without completely snapping at her ex-girlfriend.
"Jasper you..."
Jasper took an involuntary step forward, reaching her shaking hands towards Peridot, her fingers twitching. Her eyes skirted across the yellow diamond that now emblazoned across her chest, signifying the gang leaders claim over her. As much as Jasper really wanted to hate this woman, the feelings in her chest were conflicting, preventing her from being able to analyze what exactly was going on.
"I will not let Y.D take you from me." She grazed her fingers against the large purple bruises circling the area around Peridot's shoulders, and Peridot whimpered, obviously still hurting in that area. "Please, put some clothes on, and come back to my apartment."
Peridot was looking at her with widened eyes, almost as if her wildest dreams were coming true. Lapis' hands interlocked with hers, and she looked down at the blue-haired girl, who had tears streaking down her face.
"Lapis, you understand?"
"I... Of course I understand. No one deserves.. this." She said, tilting her head towards Peridot who was pulling on her clothes.
"I can't come with you. Jasper, if they know I talked to you, they'll kill us." Peridot muttered, attempting to stick her foot in her shoe, but failing miserably.
"Let them try! You're already dead, the way you're living now, isn't really life. Please, let me help you." She argued, squeezing Lapis' hand tightly in hers.
"Jasper's right, Peridot. We're not going to let those bitches beat on you anymore." Lapis added.
Peridot sighed. Jasper let go of Lapis' hand, and shoved past her.
"Wait where are you going?"
Jasper sprinted down the hallway and out of the building, leaving those two girls behind. Once she got into her car she screamed towards the ceiling, and punched her steering wheel; punched the roof of her car with her fist, then slammed her forehead against the wheel.
All of this was her fault. All of it. Peridot's abuse, and Lapis' mental state were all her fault. If she never would have ran from home and joined that gang, if she never would have left... She was a wreck, and she had destroyed peoples lives, and she couldn't bring herself to look at Peridot. Once again she found herself unable to think coherently about her problems, and found herself wishing she could just end everything so she wouldn't have to keep worrying about it.
She took out her keys, and held one of them between her thumb and her forefinger. She pressed the cold metal to the underside of her arm, and jumped a little when she heard a thud against her car window. She turned quickly to see Lapis pressing her face against the window, eyes brimming with tears, as she bawled against the door.
"Don't you do it!" Lapis cried against the window, and Jasper dropped the keys and exited the car, wrapping her arms around the girl.
"Lapis, I'm sorry..."
She noticed Peridot standing awkwardly with a bag of stuff behind them, blushing deeply and kicking at the tar with the toe of her shoe. Jasper reached out and grabbed her, and pulled her into their embrace.
She guessed she had another woman to protect now.
"Don't think you're taking her from me..." Lapis whispered, causing Jasper to smile against her hair. Maybe they could be friends, if nothing else. Maybe together, with Peridot's information, they would be able to confront Y.D.