12. Re-fuel
He can't block out her screams, the fear in her eyes as she held his hand in a vice grip while being rushed through the hospital doors.
They assessed her, provided gas and air at her request and monitored his wife and baby for hours but, every drug, everything they tried couldn't stop the miracle he is staring at right now.
Their Emma. Two pounds five ounces of fragile love through the window of an incubator, she has blue eyes and paper-thin arms and legs that barely cover bone as she is fed through tubes and given bursts of oxygen.
He jumps when he feels his mother's touch. "How's my grand-baby?"
David smiles as the woman twists round to smile at the tiny but, very alert Nolan.
"Strong and stubborn like her mother."
"Beautiful and curious like both of you." Ruth states: "Mary-Margaret's resting but. she nearly lost it with one of the nurses over not being allowed to see her yet. So, I told her I'd come and relieve you. Archie's got Poppy for as long as you need and I'll settle the hospital bills."
"Mother- I can't ask you to-"
"Then what was the point of me spending ten years married to that soulless leech if I cannot spend his money on those I love."
"That man may burn in hell for what he did to us but, I'll be damned if God takes her." She said, seriously. "The nurses are here, she's safe with Grandma." Kissing his fore-head Ruth said. "Be with your wife, she needs you too."
"I love you Em."
Her eyes were blurry with tears but, she must have gotten some sleep because when she awoke she felt his touch.
"Hey sleepyhead." Stroking her face and pressing a kiss to her for-head he is happy to see her awake.
"Emma. Is Emma?" She starts sleepily but, no less franticly as he soothes her.
"She's good. Baby, you did so good." He can't help but, tearfully laugh as she hooks her iv hand round his neck and pulls him down for a deep, loving kiss.
When they break she smiles nuzzling into his neck while he fills her in on every detail of their daughter's first few hours.
"Here." He says later helping her sip water as she sits herself up for a dinner of chicken, roast potatoes and vegetables.
"Thanks babe." She smiles when he puts the glass back on the table. "Have you eaten?"
"I will." He says honestly but, that's not enough for her. "Yeah, right now this is way too much for me."
"Snow…"
"No buts, handsome."
So they share their meal and an absurd amount of toast that an orderly brought round for each mother.
No-one goes without in Story-brooke.
"I have to go." He whispers into her hair.
"Stay, Charming stay." She commands sweetly even though she knows the family rooms are taken and visiting time is over.
"Wish- I Mmm-". "Could." He murmurs through the long kiss she initiates in a blatant attempt to prolong his stay.
"Sorry folks." Ashley says sympathetically "I have to break this love fest up and check your obs."
"One more minute." Mary-Margaret bargains.
"Just for you." The nurse leaves them while the teacher looks deeply into her loves eyes.
"I love you and our precious angel more than anything I needed you to know that." She breathes wistfully before he kisses her again and finally leaves.
"When are you going to tell him?"
"Tell him that I have cancer and I might not make it to our baby's first birthday if she even survives the night?!"
"Tomorrow. I'll tell my husband tomorrow."
"Besides," She gives a weak half-smile "Doesn't everything always look better in the morning?" before she completely crumbles in her friends arms.
He was so happy when he got there. He took a toy lamb and Granny's blanket to her. She was stable and kicking away but, the nurse seemed to avoid the subject when he said Mary-Margaret would probably be anxious to express some milk for her. He was happy when he saw Dr Whale presumably discharging his wife as he approached her room until he wasn't.
"We caught it early."
"Caught what early?"
Mary-Margaret's face was resigned as the Dr mumbled something about an oncologist and left them to it at her request.
"Caught what early Mary-Margaret?"
"I have breast cancer. I found a lump three days ago and was scheduled in to have it removed with medication but, then Emma made her entrance and it didn't seem to matter anymore."
"Didn't seem to matter?" How could you? You're my everything and you went through this alone. You brought our child into the world- and you knew. You knew you would have to fight this!"
"It's Stage 1A." She said matter of factly: "It's one tiny lump right about here." She indicated as he moved closer. "I went for scans this morning and it hasn't spread so they'll cut it out of me ASAP and then we'll be together." She said softly as he enveloped her kissing her madly as she reciprocated.
"How are you so amazing?"
"Because, I have a daughter and husband and friends and I need to be." "I need to be amazing so that you'll help me do what I need to do next."
"Anything." He emphasised.
"Take me to her. I need to see our baby."
"Mary-Margaret-"
"David I need to see Emma. Now more than ever."
"Hey, hello Rosy Bud! How are you?" Mary-Margaret poked her hand through the incubator hole as the nurse watched the doting couple stroking Emma's tiny hand lightly. Emma's eyes seemed to fix contentedly on her parents fisting and kicking in spite of wires.
"You gave her the lamb?" Mary-Margaret asked and as he nodded she kissed the side of his head.
"I promise you I will fight this." "I'll take everything- do everything necessary to stay with you Emma. Because you and your Daddy are my life now."
"I will fight with you."
"Because I'm your Mommy."
I didn't expect to write this and yet, I did I'm aware it's a sensitive subject but, I am personally aware of the impact that it has so I swear i'll do it justice.
xxxx