Fear The Unlived Life

Anna sat down by the river alone, staring out at the forest across the water as the sun began to rise. She had been awake for hours, unable to sleep after Hawkeyes outburst. She did not understand why he continued to make her business his when it was clear he disliked her so much. Before Anna had told herself she deserved his wrath but he had entered what was now her home without consent and proceeded to intimidate her. A boundary had been crossed and she was now filled with resentment for Hawkeye. She picked up a small stone and tossed it into the water, watching as it rippled twice, then sank.

"I brought you some food" Uncas said behind her and she turned around.

"You can't sleep either?" she asked quietly as he crouched down and handed her some cornbread.

"Too many thoughts in my head" he murmured. "What about you?"

"Bad dreams.." she said which was partially the truth.

"My people believe that if you hang a dreamcatcher above where you sleep, it catches all bad dreams in its web."

"I wish it was that simple Uncas...but they aren't jus' bad dreams, they're memories mostly about my mother..."

"I used to have dreams about my mother after she died" Uncas started and Anna looked at him. "I was only a boy and the dreams used to frighten me...my father told me it was my mother's way of telling me she was okay and she was waiting for us in the Spirit World..."

"How did she die?" Anna murmured.

"It was the typhoid fever that took her...nearly half of my village succumbed to the sickness " he said, his tone distant as he looked across the water.

Anna wrapped her hand over his and he didn't react at first, just kept staring ahead with a serious frown. Then he looked down at her hand on his and then at her face, sadness in her doe-like eyes. The amber light that shone behind Anna made her look almost other-worldly for a moment and Uncas traced a finger down her cheek. She looked at him steadily as his arm slid along her back to guide her closer as their lips met with hesitance on her part and impatience on his. His hand behind her head entangled itself in her hair, Anna's mind going blank as she focused on the living being so close to her. She felt her heartbeat flutter and quicken as they parted a moment later, Uncas' hand guiding her palm so it was flat against his chest.

"Anna...I want you to become my wife...to share my homefire and my bed."

Unca's words spun over and over like a wheel in Anna's thoughts as she lay alone in the wigwam. When Jack Winthrop had asked her to marry him, she had felt nothing but as she replayed the moment with Uncas, the way the light bounced off the water, his hands in her hair, he had been so close...heat rose within her and her mouth quirked upwards in a hidden smile. The moment had been ruined as the old woman Imala had appeared from her wigwam then, clearing her throat and spitting tobacco onto the ground. Uncas had only smiled coyly at Anna and raised his eyebrows as he helped her onto her feet and they had both returned to the village. But he's an Indian...I can't...Anna rolled over and settled her hands under her chin squeezing her eyes shut for a moment. She wanted him, she couldn't lie to herself anymore...no man had made her feel the way Uncas made her feel. Did it really matter if he was an Indian? What she worried what other people outside would think? Or what her family would make of it if they were here now? Her Aunt and Uncle had loved Uncas like he was family and that brought her some comfort to think they would have at least approved...as she continued to struggle to make sense of what to do, an internal battle raging between her own judgement and what her heart wanted...Lomasi stood in the entrance, her arms folded and her face like stone.

"Uncas belongs with a woman from his own nation, not a wasicun winyan" Lomasi scrunched up her face as if the words themselves filled her with a bad taste.

"Excuse me? I don't - " Anna started, her eyes growing wide as Lomasi let out a frustrated cry and chucked a handful of dirt at her.

"Do not lie wasichu whore! I saw you with Uncas!"

"Lomasi!" White Wolf shouted as he heard the commotion from outside. "Lomasi! Akȟó! Akȟó!"

Anna sat in shock as Lomasi ran away, sobbing angry tears as White Wolf rushed in, startled by what he had just witnessed. He shook his head and crouched down, his fingers lightly brushing the sprays of dirt from her clothes.

"You should tread more carefully Anna...Lomasi is like wildfire when she is enraged."

"But I did nothing!" she protested loudly.

"I heard Uncas' name mentioned. What happened?" White Wolf asked and Anna hesitated for a moment, Hawkeyes words in her mind.

"Uncas..wants to take me as a wife...she must have seen us at the river..." she murmured as White Wolf lowered his eyes and she frowned. "She called me a Wassichi weya?"

"White Woman" he said, his tone distant as he stood. "So you are to be Uncas' woman? Lomasi will not take that news kindly."

"It is nothin' to do with Lomasi...and I am not Uncas' woman. I have not even given him an answer yet."

"Lomasi will soon be Uncas' woman if you do not choose him and it will be another man who will take you as a wife" White Wolf said and Anna felt her face flush as he stared at her for a moment, dark eyes penetrating hers and then he cast her a half-smile as he turned to leave.

Anna's stomach was in knots as Uncas raised his hand for her to come towards him. She was nervous, more nervous than she had ever felt and found she couldn't make eye contact as she met him halfway. He seemed equally as nervous, both of them not saying a single word for a minute or two until Anna took a deep breath and raised her head.

"I have thought about what you asked me and I - " Anna's words cut off suddenly by the sound of frantic shouts from the embankment.

"Stay here" Uncas stated as he rushed forwards and hesitated as he saw Hawkeye; his face bloodied and a fresh cut across his bare chest.

"They've taken Lomasi! Whites and Indians on horses!" Hawkeye shouted and Anna felt her blood run cold. "Rally any men you can find that can fight!"

She blinked in stone cold shock as Uncas raced back towards the village, shouting in his native language that she could not understand. She turned and met Hawkeyes stare for a few seconds, his breathing hard and she watched as he wiped the blood from his mouth with the back of his hand.

"Get back to the village and find my Pa!" he called and Anna nodded, fear coursing through her for she knew exactly who the men that had taken Lomasi were.