Disclaimer: You've got to ask yourself one question: do you own Phineas and Ferb/Fire Emblem? Well, do you, punk? (I don't)
...
Inside the abandoned cake factory, Agent P was trapped in a giant candle on top of an enormous birthday cake. Fortunately for him, Dr. Riffrat had made a grave mistake in regards to his trap-he made it out of wax. Perry easily melted it (and, consequently, made a good portion of the cake inedible), called his hovercar to his location, waited 2 minutes, and finally jumped into said hovercar and flew after his nemesis.
...
It was 11:45, and the mall parking lot was packed with bystanders eager to witness James and Vaike's duel. The spectators took their place in the bleachers, the fighters took their place by the ring, and the referee approached the two.
"All right, before you guys duke it out, we should go over the rules. Play fair, have fun, and both thumb wrestlers are forbidden from permanently maiming or injuring their opponent. Oh, and no eye poking. Any questions?"
"Yesterday, you judged the limbo competition AND the surfing competition at the beach we made; today, you're judging, announcing, and refereeing our duel. Do you ever do anything but judge?"
"Not really. In fact, I'm an officially licensed magistrate."
"Huh. What's your name?"
"Jud Judington. My fate was sealed from the day I was born."
Meanwhile, Aversa attempted to retrieve a flyer from Olivia and Sumia, who were running the merchandise shack.
"So what you're telling me is that Sully gave away all the flyers?!"
"She was pretty zealous about it."
"What about the posters?"
"We sold the last one ten minutes ago."
"Action figures?"
"All we had to do was stamp a 'limited edition' logo on there and they sold like hot cakes."
"...8x10 glossy photo?"
"Well, there was a mistake with the printer, and we only got the ones of James."
"...and?"
"Tharja bought them all."
Aversa growled. "Wait a minute...photos! That's it! I'm a genius!" She dashed off to the bleachers.
"I wonder what goes on in her head?" Olivia though aloud.
...
Meanwhile, Perry had just about caught up to Gangrel. He ejected out of his hovercar and prepared to face his nemesis.
"Perry the Drakopus? How did you escape my candle trap? Well, I don't want to see you at my party without a party hat!" Riffrat said as he aimed one at Agent P. It shot towards the animal agent; although he tried to dodge the attack, it landed directly on his beak.
It had no effect.
"What? Well, I suppose it is just paper..." The doctor was interrupted by a precise hit to the nose with one of those rubber stretchy thingies that you always find in party bags. You probably know what I'm talking about, and if you don't, that's ok. All you need to know about them for this story is that you can hit people with it, and it hurts.
...
Back on the ground, James and Vaike began their duel.
"Oh yes, the match has begun! Both competitors stand their ground, but then James makes a strike! Ooh, Vaike catches him in the act, 3-2-1 and pindown! That was an extremely quick first round!" While all of this was happening, Aversa was rapidly taking pictures. When the round was finished, she sprinted over to the book club's meeting room.
"Mother! Photographic evidence!" she shouted, showing the phone to Lyria.
"Aversa, your thumb is in the picture. I can't see anything!"
Aversa growled (louder this time) and ran back to the parking lot.
...
On top of the Birthday-Party-Unhasslinator, Gangrel and Agent P were locked in combat.
"How would you like some refreshments!?" he said as he threw a two-liter bottle of Slick at his nemesis. Perry effortlessly dodged it and the unopened soft drink began to fall to the ground.
...
Speaking of ground, on it, James' seconds (Nowi and Chrom) were helping him prepare for the next round.
"My thumb still hurts..." he groaned.
"Well, you can't back down now!" Chrom insisted. "It's not like some way to make feel that you two are even is going to fall out of the sky!" As soon as he finished saying it, the bottle of Slick landed bottom-down on the asphalt. "Did that just happen?" he asked incredulously. "Did that really just happen?"
"Oh, look!" James said in a loud enough voice that Vaike could hear. "A bottle of soda has appeared seemingly out of nowhere! I think I will have a drink!" He opened the Slick and was promptly sprayed with the lemon-lime soft drink. His would-be-opponent burst out in laughter.
"Oh man, that was priceless! I can get why you guys were making fun of me! Consider us even!" he finished, patting James on on the back a little too hard.
"And with that anticlimactic but heartfelt conclusion, we end today's Brawl at the Mall event! Have a great day, everyone!" Jud took a bow and left the mall.
...
Back on top of the Birthday-Party-Unhasslinator, Agent P threw a large present at his nemesis. He dodged it, but the projectile hit the pole connecting the helicopter blade to the main -inator and knocked it out of alignment. Thinking quickly, Riffrat grabbed his (normal sized) birthday cake and jumped down a hatch into an escape pod.
"Farewell, Perry the Drakopus!" he shouted as the pod ejected. "Looks like I can have my cake, and eat it, too!" Then the force from the launch caused the dessert to fly into his face, splattering all over his emergency escape vehicle. "Or...not. I guess."
The Unhasslinator fell into the parking lot and activated its "Clean Up" speed-control feature, mind-controlling the audience to pick up and carry away the announcer's table, the ring, and the stands, while Chrom and Vaike looked on in shock. (and James and Nowi looked on not in shock)
"Not my usual method for cleanup, but it'll do."
Aversa dashed into the parking lot, only to find it empty, to her indignation. "NOoOoO!" she screamed.
"Well, it's 11:50 now, we should be meeting my mom for lunch," James informed his friends. "You want to come, Vaike?"
"Sure! You guys are cool with me!" They walked together to the mall food court, experiencing delightful (if cheesy) camaraderie.
...
Meanwhile, at city hall, Mayor Jeff Riffrat was administrating an awards ceremony.
"Today, we gather here to recognize the importance of the work that this women has done. To Setina Key, for coming up with the new design for the Key to the City, I award-" He was interrupted by Dr. Riffrat careening out of control in his escape pod above the crowd of people attending the ceremony.
"...Gangrel?"
"It's official! You're uninvited to my next birthday party!"
Author's Note: Four down, only a hundred to go! I'm making some pretty good progress with this fanfic so far! The next chapter will be an original episode, one based around a certain nerdy pastime that I throughly enjoy: Roleplaying Games!