The Beautiful Ones Chapter 12
*Lovely Readers, this is the second part of a three-chapter update. If you have not done so, please read Chapter 11.
We are still with Danny and Karen on their cross-country journey to Arizona. Last chapter, Danny reflected on what the move from Green Grove has meant for him and what experiences he had in life so far.
Now, Karen will have her own reflections about her life and her son's life. We will learn some things about Karen's past.
Danny also adjusts to living at Grandma's. DimplesValntina
Some hours later after their last rest stop break…
Danny and Karen drive several more hours before they decide to stop to eat an early dinner. They chose a franchise restaurant that has a good selection to satisfy their taste buds. They have had such a variety of food this trip. They both long for a home-cooked meal. Karen assures that Danny will love his grandmother's cooking.
Danny and Karen finish their meal and get back on the road towards Harrisville, Arizona. They are only a few hours away from his grandmother's home. Danny revisits the past couple of days in his mind. He thinks that Lacey would have enjoyed some of the things he and Karen saw and did. He wonders what Lacey is doing in New York at this moment…especially when a song about New York comes on the radio as his mother takes over driving.
"He had a home
The love of a girl
But men get lost sometimes
As years unfurl
One day he crossed some line
And he was too much in this world
But I guess it doesn't matter anymore
In a New York minute
Everything can change
In a New York minute
Things can get pretty strange
In a New York minute
Everything can change
In a New York minute
Lying here in the darkness
I hear the sirens wail
Somebody going to emergency
Somebody's going to jail
If you find somebody to love in this world
You better hang on tooth and nail
The wolf is always at the door
In a New York minute
Everything can change
In a New York minute
Things can get a little strange
In a New York minute
Everything can change
In a New York minute
In these days
When darkness falls early
People rush home
To the ones they love
You better take a fool's advice
And take care of your own
'Cause one day they're here
Next day they're gone
I pulled my coat around my shoulders
And took a walk down through the park
The leaves were falling around me
The groaning city in the gathering dark
On some solitary rock
A desperate lover left his mark
He said, "Baby, I've changed
Please come back"
What the head makes cloudy
The heart makes very clear
You know the days were so much brighter
In the time when she was here
But I know there's somebody somewhere
Make these dark clouds disappear
Until that day, I have to believe
I believe, I believe
In a New York minute
Everything can change
In a New York minute
Things can get pretty strange
In a New York minute
Everything can change
In a New York minute
In a New York minute
Everything can change
In a New York minute
It can get pretty strange
In a New York minute
They can change
(In a New York minute)
In a New York minute" - Eagles
As the song concludes, Danny feels tired and sleepy. His mother had allowed him to drive a few hours. Now, that it was her turn, Danny thinks he will rest his eyes for just a moment. As he drifts to sleep, he dreams of Lacey – not of the recent tragic events with that love. Instead, he dreams of a carefree time when he held Lacey in his arms and treated her to the sweetest kisses.
Karen notices that Danny has drifted off to sleep. Regardless of the circumstances that prompted this cross-country trip, she has enjoyed spending this long stretch of time with Danny. She got to experience a different side to her son. He wasn't the moody, unpredictable child. Instead, she got to hear his laughter and see his delight at the things they saw during this trip. She missed those smiles, instead of his usual smirks. She treasured the talks they had so far with this journey. She felt them bonding more – as mother and son.
Sure, Karen really didn't have the best foundation to be a good mother. She had been a 'wild child' spoiled by a divorced dad. She was very beautiful so she was often flattered by others. Thus, she became somewhat self-absorbed.
In high school, shortly after she and her dad moved to Green Grove, Karen met the very handsome Vikram Desai. She rushed from a whirlwind romance to a fast marriage with him, just shortly after college. His family had plenty of money, which he used to buy her affections and sweep her off her feet. She had wrapped her whole world up in Vikram.
In retrospect, Karen could see that she stayed in that marriage far too long with Vikram – through the drinking, through his refusal to visit Danny in Juvie, and through her suspicions of Vikram having affairs. When Karen lost Danny to Juvie, she ended up losing Vikram, too, in stages. She lost him to his business, then to his drinking, and finally his faked death.
After that, Karen experienced her own freefall. Her lifestyle of wealth, security, and enviable status (completed with handsome husband and beautiful child) was taken away from her. She wasn't envied. Instead, she was pitied, despised, and excluded within the Green Grove community.
She could tuck her tail between her legs and go back home to Arizona. She had some strained relationships there – her own cause with her overwhelming self-absorption to her new wonderful life in Green Grove. Coming home to Arizona, she was once again that naïve woman-child, harden by life experiences, but still vulnerable beneath the superficial shell – if one were to really look.
The good part of being back in Arizona is that her mother, Ava, always saw through her. This would mean that Ava would soothe the wounds placed upon Karen and Danny's soul. The bad part? Again, her mother saw through her. She would call Karen out on any b.s.
Karen felt like she had failed this past year (which resulted the unhappiness of her son). She had originally felt wrapped up in an unhappy marriage and entangled with money issues left by Vikram's disappearance. Lately, she had been wrapped up in a romance with a man from her past.
This extended, unexpected vacation to Arizona would help put brakes on the speeding train relationship with Jack Taylor. Karen didn't want to become so absorbed in a man again – to the detriment of her child and herself. Although Karen enjoys being pursued and rekindling the romance she had before, there is this nagging feeling she experiences about Jack. She isn't completely sure that she can trust him. After all, he had kept his fight with Vikram a secret and he hasn't been completely forthcoming about what caused the fight. Karen knows it was more than just tensions surrounding her.
Also, things are a little suspicious about Whitney, Jack's daughter, and her extreme closeness with divorced dad. Sometimes, Whitney is just a child adoring her parent. At other times, it is almost like a girlfriend closely watching and staking her claim on a male. Karen does not suspect incest; it is just a peculiar dynamic with Whitney and Jack. Of course, Karen thinks she is crazy and imagining things to deliberately push Jack away – denying herself possible happiness as if she doesn't deserve it.
This space away from Jack would be good for her. With the feelings she was presently experiencing, she didn't have full faith. The chaos surrounding Vik's death, with her son being involved and with Jack being jailed for suspicion with that death, had caused her to be always in Jack's presence by such dramatic circumstances. This drama heightened emotions – especially with her slipping into an intimate relationship so soon with Jack. Was this only lust or was this true love?
So, this trip to Arizona could grant her some perspective. Karen would be away from Jack and the intensity of that relationship. She could access her true feelings and determine what the future would hold for Jack and her. Her decision did not affect Karen only. She had to consider the welfare of her child.
Sure, Danny seemed to bond very quickly and quite well with Jack. They spent hours together restoring Vikram's Porsche that Danny now owned. It was good to see her son express some joy about something besides soccer. He had so few things to bring him happiness since he had returned home from Juvie.
Of course, Danny missed having a supportive male figure in his life. His relationship with his dad had been strained and tenuous during his five years in Juvie. After Vik's staged death off the yatch, Danny had no male to offer him guidance and support when he returned to Green Grove. Kyle Masterson seemed always willing and eager to distrust and arrest her son. Principal Mark Tang had fetishes and seemed to have a kinky past. Although Mark seemed fine as a school administrator, he definitely had too many issues to be considered a suitable 'secondary' father for Danny. In addition, all other men stayed far away from them due to Danny's reputation as a killer.
So Jack's interest in Danny appeared to be nurturing: he seemed to fill in the gaps left by Vik's absence and neglect. He also appeared to be a listening ear for Danny – to ask questions and to vent frustrations. Karen had overheard the two talking about girls and male issues. Karen was glad that Danny felt comfortable asking Jack for advice. Moreover, the two seemed to have a very good rapport.
Nonetheless, Karen would have to be very careful and reflective on the people who entered and stayed in the Desais' lives now. Danny (and by extension Karen) had become very wealthy thanks to Vikram's life insurance policy. Karen knew that money changes people.
Notice how charming and friendly the Green Grove residents were at the charity auction – once they found out that Danny and Karen now had millions of dollars at their disposal. The same people (who looked down their noses at them, got Danny expelled from school, and nearly chased them out of town with pitch forks) were now so welcoming to them. They had practically hovered and fawned over them ever since that evening. Karen knew they were all phony. She didn't believe their changes of heart for one minute. However, she would use that phoniness to Danny and her advantage.
Karen did wonder if the money would change the dynamics in a relationship with Jack. He wasn't exactly poor, but he didn't have the means that Vik had when Marna, Inc. was thriving. Would Jack still be the same person that she had developed strong feelings for or would he be seduced by the lure of a widow who now possessed millions? Karen needed to feel that Jack could be trustworthy – especially with the wealth the Desais now had.
Involving herself with Jack meant incorporating Whitney into the Desai family as well. The girl seemed very pleasant to Karen and to Danny. Yet, the girl had a troubled past, with the boarding school expulsions and the drama with her mother and stepfather. Karen herself was a child of divorce so she could identify somewhat with Whitney's lashing out at life. Still, Karen had her own child, with his own troubled past, which took all her energies. She didn't want to tackle on Whitney's issues, too – albeit different than Danny's. A blended family of the Taylors and the Desais needed more work and definitely more time.
Karen wanted to consider all her options. She didn't want to be caught in the rapture of feelings without weighing all the consequences. She had moved so quickly and gotten so deeply involved with Vik while ignoring the warning signs that would flash throughout their relationship and subsequent marriage. She had experienced some inkling of warning signs with Jack. Karen knew that she should proceed with caution.
All of these thoughts consume Karen as she drives those last couple of hours…lasts until she reaches her mother's home. As she pulls up to the curb, she looks across at her passenger. He is sound asleep. He looks so much like a beautiful little boy, a fallen angel, in that unconscious state. She had lost so much of his younger years when she let Vikram handle most of the rearing of their child and then when he went to Juvie for 5 years. He looked like a little boy in a man-child's shell.
Karen's heart feels heavy when she thinks about all the travesties that have happened to her child in his short time on Earth. Seeing him in that fragile state a few nights ago had sealed her resolve to provide a better life for him and her. If she wanted him to be responsible and face adversities, she had to provide an example.
That meant settling some ghosts of the past. Before she moves to wake her son, she takes a few calming breaths. She would need to put on a positive face and be open for what faced her. She looks at the structure in front of her. The irony iss not lost on her. The place from which she one eagerly ran was now the one place offering solace: home sweet home.
I've been walking in the same way as I did
And missing out the cracks in the pavement
And tutting my heel and strutting my feet
"Is there anything I can do for you dear? Is there anyone I could call?
No, and thank you, please madam, I ain't lost, just wandering"
Round my hometown, memories are fresh
Round my hometown, ooh, the people I've met
Are the wonders of my world, are the wonders of my world
Are the wonders of this world, are the wonders and now
I like it in the city when the air is so thick and opaque
I love it to see everybody in short skirts, shorts and shades
I like it in the city when two worlds collide
You get the people and the government
Everybody taking different sides
Shows that we ain't gonna stand sh*t
Shows that we are united
Shows that we ain't gonna take it
Shows that we ain't gonna stand
Shows that we are united
Round my hometown, memories are fresh
Round my hometown, uuh, the people I've met
Are the wonders of my world, are the wonders of my world" - Adele
"Wake up, Sweetheart. We are here." Karen coos as she gently shakes Danny's arm to awaken him.
Danny rouses out of sleep. He was having a wonderful dream. "What? Oh, we're here?"
He glances around. It is night…around 8PM. They are in front of a red-bricked two-story home with a yard light and a single light burning above its front door. It is much smaller than their Green Grove home, but Danny still thinks his grandmother's house looks nice.
Danny yawns and stretches – as far as the car's interior will allow him. He bends his neck from side to side to release the tension of being held in a certain position while he slept.
"Yes, we are here. Here in Harrisville, Arizona, at Grandma Ava's house…the house where I spent a good part of my life. Let's get out and collect our things." Karen says. She seems to be excited.
Danny is still drowsy as he hears an excited voice greeting them. His car door is opened and he is enveloped in a warm hug and a soft floral scent. As he becomes more alert, he is aware of this hug's owner speaking to him. It is his grandmother, Ava Thomas.
Danny's grandmother steps back to allow Danny to exit the car and stand. She exclaims "Hello, Danny! Look at you! You are so grown up now…so tall. Karen, your baby has grown into a fine-looking young man. Look at this long hair! It's as long as a girl's, but it suits you. It's been so long. I am glad to see you, dear." She gives him another hug.
"Hello, Grandmother. It's good to see you." Danny greets, with a laugh, as he returns her hug.
When their hug ends, Ava touches his chin. "Ah, what is that? A goatee? And what is this? An earring?" she asks as she touches the top of his ear.
"Yes, Mother. At first, I didn't know if I liked it or not, but both suit him." Karen states as she comes to the side of the car where her mother and son are standing.
Ava replies "Well, times are changing. You are right; the look does suit him. At least he isn't wearing baggy clothing 3 times his size with his underwear showing."
Danny just gives a small smile as his mother and grandmother speak about him as if he isn't there.
His grandmother gives Karen a hug. "Hello, Sweetheart. It's so good to see you. It's been too long."
Karen hugs her mother back. She becomes a little choked as she agrees. "Yes, it has been too long. It's nice to be back. Thank you for letting Danny and me stay with you for a while."
As Karen and Ava are hugging, Danny takes in his grandmother's appearance. She is of average height, and has blonde hair with some sprinkles of gray throughout. She has blue-green eyes, like his mother, and she is a beauty – just like his mother. There is a warmth about her and a soothing presence. Danny only had a few memories of her but the present 2014 version of her does live up to his memories. He is glad that he and his mother have come to live with her for a few months.
Ava exclaims "Well, let me help you get everything inside. Danny, the bedrooms are on the second floor. You can have the last bedroom on the right. There is a bathroom just before that bedroom. Karen, you can have the second bedroom on the left. I put fresh linens on the bed and set some towels out in case you want to shower. All other linens and towels are in the hall closet. Once we get your things inside, you must have a bite to eat. I know you ate on the road, but you can have dessert that I made. It is so good to have you two here!"
Danny smiles as he listens to his grandmother. She seems excited to have them stay with her. Her enthusiasm brings a positive energy to him. Maybe Harrisville will be good for him.
Later that night…
Danny is restless. He was sleepy when he first arrived. His grandmother greeted and hugged him. He and his mother brought their things inside. His grandmother insisted that they eat something – even though they had stopped at a restaurant two hours ago. Karen and Danny had some lemon meringue pie that Ava made.
Danny remembered that his grandmother was a great baker but it had been almost 6 years since he had tasted any of her cooking. Karen was no baker. She often bought desserts from restaurants – whenever the special occasion warranted. Other than that, she kept baked goods generally out of the house. His mother wasn't a fanatic but she liked to keep healthier treats at home since she loved being very fit. However, she still allowed ice cream and other sweets, which Danny enjoyed even if she didn't partake.
After eating and then coming upstairs to the bedroom, that would be his for the next couple of months, Danny found himself tossing and turning when he tried to sleep. The bed was comfortable and the room temperature felt fine. What made Danny restless was that he could not settle his thoughts.
One moment, he is wondering what Lacey was doing at that instance. He had texted her to let her know he had arrived in Arizona. She had texted back that it was good that he had made it there safely. That was all. She didn't text anything additionally. Did she miss him like how he was missing her? Had she thought about all that he had said in her bedroom or on their last phone call together? Had she told her mother the extent of their relationship?
Another moment, he is thinking about his life – the mess that was his life. The first part of his life was a mess via his dad and the death of Tara. Then, Danny had to further complicate things and muddle up the rest of his life after Juvie. How could he mess up his life so terribly? He feels like he was a 'kid off the old block'…definitely like father, like son.
Nevertheless, his mother was convinced that he could stop the Desai cycle of destruction. She said that he didn't have to become his dad; he had the power to form his own destiny. Danny would like to believe that. For now, he will just have to trust his mother's word until he can see that positive manifestation materialize in front of him.
Danny thinks about his grandmother and her generosity at letting Karen and him stay for months with her. Karen had informed him that she told his grandmother most of their recent story. This included Vikram's reappearance and death plus all the drama after Danny was released from Juvie. Karen had kept the Lacey parts to a bare minimum and omitted any other friends as well. Still, his grandmother knew all the ugly parts of the past couple of months.
Karen had re-assured him that his grandmother was a fair person and that she loved him unconditionally. For that, Danny is grateful. For that, Danny vows internally to be someone worthy of his grandmother's fairness and love. After all, he is the only grandson and the oldest grandchild. He should be setting an example. He hadn't before but he now wants to be someone that his grandmother could be proud.
Danny decides to retrieve his Ipad and access an online radio station. This hour is all about love songs. Hmmm, maybe this wasn't a good idea. Just as Danny is about to try another station on that app, he hears the dj mention that this song is for all of the lovers who could not be together physically tonight – for whatever reason keeps them apart. Danny is curious about the song. He decides just to listen to this one song before he switches to another station.
"I can see you in each drop of rain as it falls through the night.
Haunted memories keep me awake,
Been so long since I held you tight.
I thought I had you out of my heart but I don't know. I imagine you here with me.
But I guess it's gonna be…
Just another lonely night, And I'm thinking about you. Just another lonely night, Wanting your love.
What can I do in times like this When it's you I miss so much? In the darkness your voice I hear Calling me from deep, deep, deep inside. How can I get you out of my mind? Nobody else's touch can make it right. So, I try to forget about you, Looks like that's something I just can't do.
Just another lonely night (just another lonely night), Thinking about you. Just another lonely night (just another lonely night),
I need you to be here with me But I guess it's gonna be…
Just another lonely night And I'm thinking about you (just another lonely night). And it's just another lonely night, Wanting Your love. Oh, it's just another lonely night, And I can't live without you (just another lonely night). Just another lonely night, Wanting Your love…" - Johnny Gill
After that song, Danny decides to log off the online site. He then decides it is best to log off the computer. He should rest. He does check his phone for any texts. No more texts from Lacey. Oh, well, he should be thankful that she did text him a response when he let her know he had arrived safely to Arizona.
He said he would give her space so that is what he will do – even if he would rather do opposite. Maybe space would allow Lacey to realize how much she meant to him. Maybe she would also miss him since he was so far away. Maybe she would have forgiven him by the time he came back home to Green Grove.
Danny sighs as he settles deeper into bed. There were a lot of 'maybes' that he was counting on. Perhaps he will not think of the 'maybes' and just concentrate on himself during this visit. He needed the physical space away from Green Grove to just get his footing and catch his breath after some tumultuous months. Here he was in a new place…a place where people wouldn't stare at him because of his 'child murderer' past. It felt like he had been in a tornado which had taken his life, twisted everything on its head, and let debris everywhere.
As Danny drifts off to sleep, he thinks about what this visit will mean to his mother and him. It would be nice to get a re-boot in a new place. A place with no history – no ghosts of the pasts. Now, they each had a chance to fade into the background and just observe everything – instead of being on alert at the next verbal attack or obstacle someone placed in their paths. This change would be nice. Danny welcomes the blandness and slow-town life. He could use whatever this sleepy little town had to offer. Anything, remotely different than Green Grove, suited him just fine.
*Lovely Readers, thank you for your reading. I appreciate your continued support. I hope you enjoyed reading Chapters 11-12.
AZ represents a saving grace to Karen and Danny, both a little battered by life right now. This place will be a balm to them and offering the healing they both need.
AZ also represents a reconciliation of Karen with her past. Karen grew up mostly in Arizona and moved to New York with her dad after her parents' divorce. She loves her mom and sister but she is quite different from them.
Karen had stayed in a tumultuous marriage – after the 'epic battles' she had with Vik (stated in 'Three For The Road' ep). She had an image to uphold, after all. Danny's incarceration and scandals have exposed her life for the non-fairytale that it was. She now had to journey home to reconcile image versus reality. Karen has to establish what she wants from this new chapter of life – being a single mother, being a widow (officially), and being an independent woman. She has to find her bearings again.
Songs used this chapter were 'New York Minute' by Eagles, 'Hometown Glory' by Adele, and 'Just Another Lonely Night' by Johnny Gill.
Please continue to Chapter 13, the last of this three-part update.
Spreading the love of Dacey…DimplesValntina