Shadows in the Light

by TheKeeperOfFate

This fanfic follows the ups and downs of the budding relationship between the Knight-Enchanter, Joshua Trevelyan and the Commander of the Inquisition, Cullen Rutherford. Expect the unexpected as they combat the Elder One and unravel a plot set in motion from the very moment Joshua was marked by fate that could threaten to destroy Thedas.

12. Of Loathing and Sorrow

Cullen snarled the moment he hitched his horse and took in the bright, grandiose colors of Val Royeaux. He was Fereldan and he was quite used to the simple browns and greens that his home country had but Orlais was too vibrant, reminding him almost of the colorful, venomous toads and snakes that he read about in Skyhold's library during his free time.

He cringed as nobles recognized him from Halamshiral and tried their luck to get his attention. He had none of it- sending them vicious glare after glare to drive them off as he marched with the rest of his companions. He wasn't glad to be in Orlais but he was glad to be away from the Inquisition. He could not bear the sad looks everyone gave him and he could not for the life of him stand in front of Josh in the War Room and act like nothing was wrong. He could see that Josh himself was trying too hard to keep a straight face in front of the other advisors and it broke the Commander's heart to know that Josh still loved him and was having an even worse time than Cullen himself, trying to control his emotions.

At that time, the Commander sparred often with Iron Bull to try and get his mind off Josh and it worked somewhat. The pain the huge man inflicted upon him dulled the heartache he had inside and he allowed himself to let go of his anger by lashing out at Bull as the qunari had told him on multiple occasions that he could take whatever the Commander threw at him.

They would work up quite a sweat and would sit afterwards on the battlements chatting about the soldiers and possible changes in tactics but he would notice a sad look in Bull's eye. He told the Commander that Josh always watched from a distance how they sparred. Cullen felt his heart break as he recounted all the times he sparred with the Inquisitor. He knew he would never get a chance to spar with the Inquisitor again, hence, he welcomed the change of atmosphere but not the way noble and commoner alike gawked at him as he minded his own business while the others got the accommodations ready. It was unnerving and only served to bring the man he loved to mind.

Josh had made it very clear on many occasions that Cullen was extremely handsome. The ex-templar wasn't so sure about that but it was flattering to hear from the man he loved- and many others. However, he considered his good looks to be a curse as it reminded him of what he lost: True love.

The Inquisitor was always on his mind. The mage had managed to entrench himself in the Commander's heart despite the former-templar's suffering at the hands of Blood Mages in Kinloch Hold. He dreamed of that wretched time on the first night he spent in Orlais and he ended up screaming as he felt hands at his torso trying to ease him out of his deep slumber. He snarled when he saw honey eyes that he hated that had a look of concern that now made him feel sick to his core.

"Cull-"

"Do not touch me, you piece of filth!" The Commander roared as he pushed Branson backward, off the bed and onto the floor. The soldier gave him a sad look as Cullen growled and pulled at the coverlets to retreat back into the warmth of his slumber. He was however interrupted when he felt the soldier's eyes on him from above. He opened his eyes and sneered when Branson shook his head in disdain.

"You didn't love the mage-" The soldier began but was cut short when Cullen leapt out of bed and grabbed hold of his neck, pressing down hard at his air pipe.

"You know nothing of love. You…monster!" Cullen shouted as he pushed Branson against the wall and pinned his body to it with his stronger limbs. "She loved you with all her heart but you used her and threw her away. I tried to make you see what you did. Maker's breath…She sent me letter after letter of confessions of her love for you but she knew that all she was to you was someone you used! She died from a broken heart and by the Maker…I will never allow Josh to fall on his blade because of you! He is so much better than you!"

"Brother, he is a fool-"

"I am NOT your brother!" Cullen screamed into his face. The soldier looked at him with a look shock as Cullen pulled away and growled. The soldier moved to touch his bare skin but the Commander was quick. He jabbed quickly and relished in the sound of bone breaking as his so-called "brother" screamed out in pain and slumped prone to the floor. Cullen stood over him as the younger man clutched at his nose as blood began to pour out profusely. The sight of his brother's wounds made Cullen grin. "When we return to Skyhold, you will be banished from Orlais and Ferelden. I do not give a fuck what Joshua thinks. The whole Inquisition will overrule his empathy and we will throw you off the ramparts to your death if you refuse to leave. Enjoy your freedom while you can."

"You can't." Branson said nonchalantly as he stood up and nursed his bleeding nose with a dry rag. Cullen shook his head as he watched the soldier move over to the door and smile, despite the wound he had on his face. "The bitch loves me. He'll protect me."

"Only because he's too naïve and sensitive to see you for what you are." The Commander snarled. "No matter- You said that you could not tell you son that his uncle is in love with a man. How will you tell him that he's a product of rape?"

Branson buckled and turned quickly. His eyes widened and his mouth twitched in horror as Cullen approached him and shook his head.

"I may have been in Kirkwall and I may have been…preoccupied with Meredith's foolishness but your wife was crafty. I got all her letters and I know what kind of man you are."

"You're lying."

"Am I? You could ask Leliana but I think you'll find that she'll be more willing to cut your tongue off than speak to you. The advisors know but Joshua does not. He will learn of it however and you will lose Jaime. He doesn't need a wretched man like you."

"N-No!" Cullen was taken aback when he saw the look of despair in his brother's eyes. The soldier's eyes welled up with tears and he grabbed desperately at the Commander's arms. "Please…he is all I have."

"Of Sylvia? Or of your crime?" Cullen scowled as he pushed Branson away and gritted his teeth with an angry glare his way. "Now leave me!"

"But brother-"

"Get out and do not speak to me!" Cullen ripped his younger brother to the door and threw him outside. Before the man could dart inside, Cullen slammed the door shut and locked it. He then padded back to his bed and wrapped himself in the blankets to cover his half-clothed form.

The Commander remained as he was for hours as bells chimed every now and then, lying sadly in a mess of flesh and cloth as he closed eyes to force sleep to greet him with silent, loving kisses that he normally expected from his mage but it would not come his way. He cursed when he readjusted slightly when he felt the blankets stick to his chest. He let out a frustrated cry as he kicked the blankets away and felt the cold air of Orlais on his enflamed, sweaty skin. His mind throbbed as he jumped to his feet and rushed over to the nearby balcony. The soldier had left it slightly ajar and Cullen needed to feel the cold to ease his overheated, clammy flesh.

He let out a sigh as he pushed it open and felt the wonderful cool air at his skin. He took a moment to enjoy his surroundings and actually found that he liked what he saw. The fountains and patches of gardens with their marble statues and birdbaths made him feel at ease slightly as he stood on the balcony. Of course, his mind often moved to Josh. He worried about the mage. He wasn't in the best state of mind but Cassandra did assure the former-templar that she would keep an eye on him along with the rest of the Inner Circle that remained behind.

What made him worry however was what Solas had explained to him briefly during a quick meal before he rode for Orlais. The elf told him that the accelerated growth of the Mark awakened an intriguing, yet devastating power that lay dormant in the mage's blood. Suddenly, Josh's otherworldly empathy and love made complete sense as the elf explained that Josh could feel others emotions. But because of the bloodbond he made with the Commander…the Inquisitor felt Cullen's emotions the strongest but even worse- because Branson shared in Cullen's blood somewhat, the mage could feel his emotions strongly as well.

Cullen stood on the balcony for a while and let out a brief sigh but was startled when his door opened suddenly. He moved inside the room and got a laugh from Sera as she entered with a tray in her hand. She shut the door and Cullen shook his head comically as he noticed that she had managed to pilfer Branson's key. He knew quite well that he would never have given her his key.

"You're hungry, yeah? I know I am!" The giddy elf grinned puckishly as she pointed to the balcony towards the pair of chairs and the table in the corner. Cullen took in her words and suddenly realized how famished he was as he followed her. His stomach grumbled as he saw her open the tray, reveal piping hot slices of spiced bread, butter, several petite vats of berry jam and a glass flask filled with wine. Sera looked at him expectantly as she slipped into the seat and began to butter a slice of bread. "Come one, Cully-Wully! Smells good innit?"

The Commander nodded, sliding into the seat next to her and proceeded to wolf down the food and drink, when he was done, Sera looked at him with a content look and shook her head as she took in his state of undress and the layer of sweat that covered his skin. He flushed at her gaze but didn't feel uncomfortable. He knew that she was concerned for him.

"Thank you, Sera."

"No thanks needed." She smiled sadly. "That fucker needs my boot in his mouth. Josh-Posh…he misses you."

"He does?" Cullen asked with a look of concern. The elf nodded and took hold of his hand and curled her thin fingers around his larger hand.

"Wolfy came to me every night after the Tourney. He'd kiss Sula-Wula and come sit with me on the roof. I made some pride cookies. Didn't like it but Josh didn't care. He cried in mine and Widdles arms. It's so wrong innit? He loves you, yeah? Branshittypants…I wanna kill him. Foolish cunt! That fucking arse-biscuit…" Cullen giggled as he saw her rant angrily, he wiped at a tear that fell down the elf's cheek as she carried on loudly and she smiled as she flushed. "Sorry, Lionheart. I hate him. He hurt my friends."

Cullen nodded in understanding and relished in the company of his Red Jenny friend. However, she had to leave soon as she planned a romantic night for herself and Dagna. Cullen urged her along, bathed and proceeded to spend some time with Iron Bull and Dorian.

The couple managed to make him smile despite his sadness. The qunari mercenary told him that a noble recognized him from Halamshiral and offered him and the Inquisition a large, private courtyard to train in while in Orlais. At first Cullen had his doubts about the noble but Bull assured him that the woman was genuine and that she had met Josh on his first trip to Val Royeaux. She was an avid supporter of the Inquisition and apparently Bull had heard of her in his Ben-Hassrath reports. Cullen then remembered her, a woman named Belle, nothing like the student Josh took under his wing but just as hopeful for the Inquisition's success.

The Commander looked forward to sparring with Iron Bull in the week to come but inwardly he felt broken. Sparring was something he and Josh normally did and without the mage to watch the Commander spar against The Iron Bull…it really disheartened the former-templar. He could never let go of Josh. Even if the mage pushed him away for his own good, Cullen could not simply stay away from him and not declare his undying love for Joshua.

Cullen retreated to his room after an eventful night with Dalish out of all people. She managed to coerce him into going shopping with her for a new "bow". He giggled slightly as he remembered all the times while he drank with Bull and his men that she affirmed that the crystal atop her staff was used for aiming her bow and that it was an old elvhen trick. He also remembered the amused look Josh would have as she affirmed that she wasn't a mage and he wished to the Maker that he could see that lovely grin the mage had on his beautiful face again.

He snarled as he heard the door open and turned away from his brother as the man settled on the couch after stripping to his underclothes. He tried to start a conversation with the Commander. Cullen simply turned to him and glowered. The soldier shut his mouth and pulled the spare blanket over himself and closed his eyes.

Cullen did the same and he struggled to fall asleep. When he did fall asleep, he dreamed of Kinloch Hold but there was a difference. There was no Neria, no Uldred and no Templars. There was only Josh and he ran each time Cullen tried to approach to comfort him.

When the Commander finally managed to reach him in the Harrowing Chamber, he cried as he saw the mage buckle away in fear. Josh looked at him like a terrified animal as he approached. He made no effort to defend himself but instead curled up into a tight ball of muscle and flesh. Cullen touched his skin and yelped when the mage screamed out in horror and pain. Cullen looked at the mage in confusion as the Inquisitor was dressed in a plain grey and blue robe emblazoned with the Ostwick Circle of Magi. He looked around and gasped as he saw that he was not in Kinloch Hold, but the Ostwick Circle as two old, wizened men- a mage and templar respectively stood near while a kind, gentle mage tended to Josh. A single templar stood near Josh as the youth flailed against a rough hand that lifted him up to his feet.

The older, female mage that tended to him tried to make the First Enchanter soften his grip on the youth's arms, even Cullen tried to do the same but found that everyone and everything ignored his presence as the older woman looked dejectedly at the pair as the old man forced Josh to the dais filled with Lyrium.

The Commander cursed as he got the intense smell of Lyrium. It filled his mind with overwhelming pain as he watched, horrified as the First Enchanter forced the youth's hand over the dais. He managed to hear the mage scream out in fear and anguish as he collapsed to the ground. The older woman was pulled aside by the Knight-Commander while he pointed to the lone templar that stood over Josh previously. When Cullen heard the templar's name, he buckled slightly. It was Ser Jason, Joshua's first love, but his face was obscured by his helm as he kneeled at the mage's side wordlessly and kept his blade over the mage's jugular.

Cullen settled beside Josh and watched as the mage stirred slightly as he took his Harrowing just as Neria did. He didn't however notice Neria stir so much as she took her Harrowing. She was rather calm and serene as he watched her but Josh…he stirred as if he was having a waking nightmare. It became worse once the mage began to pant as if he was running from something.

"Strike him down. He has failed." The First Enchanter called. Cullen and everyone else turned to him with a look of horror. Cullen knew the signs to look for. Other than the mage flailing about, panting and moaning in pain, there were no otherworldly voices, there were no unnatural lights or twisting or assimilation of flesh. He cringed as he watched the First Enchanter grit his teeth and moved over to Ser Jason. Cullen swore he heard the young templar whimper as the First Enchanter snarled at him. "He is an abomination! Kill him Jason!"

"N-No! He's s-still alive-" The templar cried as he pulled his blade away from the mage. Cullen saw a brief look of relief on the Knight-Commander's face. However, Cullen turned back to look when he heard the old woman scream in horror. He saw the First Enchanter grip the blade out of the templar's hand and then there was nothing.

Cullen woke up upset as he pushed out of bed and moved quickly to the balcony. His flesh was flushed as it was engulfed by oppressive heat. He knew that his bed would be drenched in his sweat, so he quickly returned to it once his skin was cooled down. He pulled off the blankets and tossed them into the laundry pile and managed to see Branson sleeping soundly. He briefly considered throwing the fool off the balcony but decided to rather bask in the cold night of Orlais as he knew sleep would elude him now- especially without Josh and Sulahn to ease his mind.

Cullen cursed to himself as he sat on the balcony and enjoyed the moonlight and the wind that moved through his disheveled hair. He didn't tell Sulahn what happened nor would Josh as the mage was too soft to break her little heart but the ex-templar knew his daughter well, that while she was cute and utterly clever and unassuming…she was a lot like Josh, incredibly astute. She would know that something was wrong with them.

The bells rang out several times and sleep still eluded the Commander. He decided to close his eyes and will himself to rest. He wrapped his arms around himself and inwardly understood Josh's habit of holding onto Cullen in his sleep. The former templar missed the smooth, soft flesh that his mage had but most of all, he missed the smell of roses that came whenever Cullen pressed his nose to the mage's neck.

The Commander yawned and smiled when he saw that the sun was beginning to rise. He quickly washed up and made his way to the lower level of the resort. He ordered a serving of veal and a goblet of spiced wine. He ate to his fill and sighed when the waiter and a few others recognized him and pointed someone his way. The man stood in front of him and Cullen snarled as the man slipped into the seat opposite him without his permission.

"What do you want?" Cullen spat as he downed his wine and looked at the man intruding his solitude. The man grinned at him and giggled slightly when the Commander realized who he was.

"Is that how you speak to your King?" Alistair smiled as he waved down the waiter and ordered some food. Cullen flushed deeply as he fumbled with his words and looked down at the table. Alistair took hold of his hand and shook his head. "Don't worry, Commander. I'm just teasing. Spitfire and Leliana told about everything. I came to see Celine but I'm actually here to speak to you and Branson."

"Branson? Why him?" The former-templar asked with a hint of venom. The King of Ferelden smiled naughtily as he let go of Cullen's hand and relaxed into his seat while he yawned.

"I have some business to discuss with him but I'd rather not speak about that now. The Queen's staying at the Winter Palace. While I do love Celine's hospitality, I'd rather spend some time with old friends and perhaps…make new ones." Alistair nodded to him and Cullen noticed a slight gleam in the King's eyes.

"You want to be my friend? Is this so I accept the position on offer?"

"No- Maker no!" Alistair flushed deeply and the Commander gave him an incredulous look as the man began to giggle to himself. "I…You probably don't remember me but I remember you. You're the one who used to try to keep me out of the kitchen duties for all the times I messed up."

Cullen thought on it for awhile, trying to recall his youth. He remembered a youth at the Chantry he trained at with the same brown eyes and dirty blonde hair, slightly younger than Cullen with an awful habit of getting into trouble with the Revered Mother. He could not believe that that scrawny youth he often helped was the same man in front of him. The Commander let out an astonished yelp as he took Alistair's hand and shook it in earnest. The motion made the King perk up.

"I *do* remember you, yes!" Cullen grinned as the waiter returned with a bowl of broth and some steaming bread. Alistair offered him some of his food but the Commander expressed that he ate already and that he would be training soon to keep himself in shape. It was a vacation but it didn't mean that Cullen would slack in terms of him being Commander and his fitness. Jim would arrive later that afternoon with reports that needed his attention and he intended to make Josh's life as easy as possible by having the scout on hand if he needed Jim for any tasks.

Cullen then scowled to himself. The foolish Jim was becoming a staple in his life, a small comfort to both him and the Inquisitor, even if they weren't together.

"Could I spar with you?" Alistair asked after he finished his meal and gave the Commander a sad look. "Being King doesn't make much time to spar, so I'd like to remedy that."

"I don't doubt that. Would Anora-"

"Don't mention *her*. She doesn't need to know. It's enough that I have to sit with the woman and act all nice and such but I was looking forward to some time that I could remember what it felt like to make a difference, you know?"

"You mean when you were just a Grey Warden?" Cullen asked and the man nodded.

"Being King is good and all but sometimes I just want to blend into the crowd and remember the good old days. Did you know that I once walked in on Spitfire and Leliana going at it at camp? I walked away as soon as I could but…" Alistair gulped and flushed. "I couldn't sleep that night."

"I…uh walked in on them as well. I wasn't so lucky. Maker's breath, If Josh hadn't pulled me away I might have considered joining in." Cullen confessed as he rubbed at his neck and blushed.

"Thank the Maker for the Inquisitor then." Alistair smiled as he downed a flagon of ale and snickered. "Sooooo…can I spar with you later? I promise I won't beat you- too badly."

"I look forward to testing your mettle." Cullen nodded. Inwardly, he was thanking the Maker profusely. While Alistair wasn't Josh, the man knew what he went through and also challenged his ego. He needed to keep his mind off Josh and the King of Ferelden was a good distraction to that end. Maybe in the process, he could rekindle an old friendship.

Josh was uneasy the whole time he remained in Skyhold. There wasn't much reason for him to walk his rounds as he wouldn't get to see Cullen. Even so, he could feel the Commander's sadness even a country away and it broke his heart.

The Inquisitor tried his best to perform his duties and to keep things as controlled as possible. Once he sent Jim to Orlais with some urgent reports from the Hissing Wastes, Josh decided to send Belle and Cole along with him. Josh wanted them to enjoy their newfound love but also he wanted Cole to be away for some time. While he loved the former-spirit as his own brother…the Knight-Enchanter did not want to hear his own emotions. He had enough trouble trying to keep himself calm hearing everyone else's emotions.

Josh smiled as he gave Belle a large coin purse and giggled when he saw how happy the girl was for the wealth. He made sure to tell Cole to spoil her rotten.

He inwardly chuckled when he got the excited letter from Belle a day later of how she, Cole, Leliana and Neria went shopping and how she found a beautiful pair of burgundy boots with a flame orange topaz at the toe and black heels. Apparently Leliana also picked out a rather seductive dress that made the Spirit Healer feel like a queen. Josh nodded to himself. He was glad that the girl was happy. He…He really missed Arlene and Devon. He had no doubt that Belle missed them as well.

Josh sighed sadly as he read a letter from King Alistair. The man had dishonorably discharged Branson from the Fereldan Army. The Inquisitor didn't like it, but he could do nothing to stop the King. He understood that Alistair cared for him and especially Cullen but Josh couldn't help but feel bad for the soldier. He didn't want Branson suffer because of him anymore. He wanted Cullen's brother to be at peace- but such peace cost Cullen's…and his own.

The Inquisitor however laughed when he received an angry letter from the Warden-Commander. She ranted over how Branson and Cullen often caught her and Leliana going at it and the thought got Josh hot and bothered. He knew that seeing Neria or Leliana in that way would make Cullen miss Josh's presence even more as the mage found himself missing his Commander's amorous gaze, his raspy voice and especially his gentleness when they cuddled at night. He really missed the safety the Commander brought in his life. While Josh was safe in Skyhold and he knew that Inner Circle cared for him…Cullen was the one who really put his mind at ease.

The Commander's calloused, large hands came to mind and the mage shuddered at the thought of how Cullen would hold him fast to his body, like a beloved gift that he didn't want to ever lose. He felt his mouth go dry as he remembered how the former-templar's fiery gaze would settle on his flesh and how his hands would massage the flesh, drawing out all kinds of sounds from the Inquisitor that would make him blush profusely. Cullen on the other hand would titter and lick at his marred neck.

Josh then cried to himself, little did anyone know, but the mage, despite his cold demeanor whenever Cullen's name was brought up, was really regretting his decision to end things with the man he loved. Without Cullen around, his pain from sensing emotions intensified and he had to often sit with Solas as the elf's presence and care would alleviate his pain.

He also found some comfort sleeping beside his little Sulahn but he could tell that she knew. His ability to sense emotion made that very clear but she didn't have the heart to ask him about it. Instead, she clung desperately to his chest and he would wake up the next morning, his undershirt covered in wetness as the girl slept soundly but with pursed lips. He would kiss at her cheeks and her sadness would disappear but he knew in his heart that he was responsible for it. He shouldn't have broken up with Cullen, but there was nothing he could do. Even worse, he did it to appease himself and Branson. He could not take it back without the risk that his Mark would flare up and kill him faster.

He dropped her and Jaime off at the gardens as Krem took it upon himself and The Bull's Chargers to entertain the children along with Kieran who admittedly seemed quite pleased to help keep the other children in check. Josh moved for his tower to retreat inside and was shocked to see Madame de Fer looking at him with an angry, yet poised glare.

"The lower archives, now. I expect to see you there, my dear." She smiled as she strutted away from him towards the main hall. Josh was about to object but the woman simply waved him off and continued on. He resigned himself to meeting with her in the lower archives. He moved hastily as he wanted to get over with it and wallow in his despair.

The Inquisitor snarled when he shut the door and turned. His eyes closed as he shook his head in derision as he felt the emotions boiling up inside the room.

"Do you have need of me, Madam Vivienne- Oh." Josh cringed the moment he opened his eyes saw the Inner Circle looking at him, each with varied looks from outright sorrow to intense anger. "I know why you've-"

"We have come to a decision." Cassandra said in a commanding voice as she stepped forward. She glared at the mage, shaking her head as she moved so that she was face to face with Josh. Her glare reminded him of how she treated him when he was still a prisoner but he saw that instead of anger, she had anxiety inside her. He was glad to see that she was concerned for him and Cullen. But he was worried. He didn't know what decision the Seeker meant.

"What are you talking about?"

"Until we came here, you and Cullen were happy. We simply want that happiness for the both of you." Mia flushed as she approached. She cupped the mage's cheek and Josh smiled when he saw the look of love in her eyes as she pointed to the rest of the Inner Circle. He managed to see Cassandra nod as he saw his companions and friends glower at him. Alara moved over to him and hugged him briefly. He was expecting her to lecture him but she simply returned to Solas' side and smiled sadly as Mia continued. "Maker's ass! Y-You made my brother happier than I had ever seen him! You are a ray of hope in his life, Joshua. But…you are too empathic. You need to be selfish now and then."

"I-I know…but I can't. Branson…he's in pain too. I…" Josh buckled slightly and moved for the door. He however was cut off by Blackwall who gave him a look of disapproval as he turned the Inquisitor back to the group approaching him. "P-Please…I can't. I have to g-go…"

"You cry yourself to sleep every night! Do you think Moonlight wouldn't tell her favorite uncle about it? No- We will not leave you, Grinner. Not like this." Varric moved over to Josh and pulled him into a hug. The mage dropped to his knees in a moment of weakness as he realized that the tears he felt on his chest each night was not Sulahn's but his own and began to cry profusely as he clung to Varric's chest. He felt many hands at his back and shoulders and for once since breaking up with Cullen, he felt safe and loved.

"It is decided then." Cassandra declared as she pulled Josh into a hug and helped him to stand up. She glared at the Inquisitor and he flushed as she wiped at his tears and held him firmly. "You are going to Val Royeaux tomorrow or we will relieve you of your duty as Inquisitor."

"W-What?! No…please I can…"

"You can *what*?" Josh nearly jumped when he heard Rosalie snarl at him. For once, he got to see a very emotional, fierce side to her that shook him to his core as she looked at him in irritation, a look that Cullen often mirrored when the mage did something he did not approve of. "Do not even think. Go to him!"

"But B-Branson…"

"Enough of this foolishness nas'falon!" Solas shouted and everyone looked at him in bewilderment. Josh flushed deeply as the elvhen mage moved over to him and gritted his teeth. The Inquisitor felt an impotent feeling fill his heart as he heard Solas speak to him in a way that he had never imagined. He held back his tears and took in everyone's helplessness. Solas looked at him sadly and shook his head in derision. "Vherain mala vhenan! Ir danal mar'len!"

Josh cringed as he realized that the elf and by extension, everyone was correct in every way. Cullen was his heart. Being away from Cullen was killing him far worse than being around the Commander and taking in his anger. At least then…he was loved and comforted- no matter how much quicker his death approached. Cullen was all that mattered to him.

"I…I will go." The Knight-Enchanter stammered, garnering many a smile from his lover's sisters, his friends and the Inner Circle. Josephine approached and smiled to Solas who nodded to her as she beamed brightly.

"Unfortunately, King Alistair has returned to Denerim as Queen Anora required his assistance with a matter in Fereldan politics. As tomorrow is the last day, you will have to ride quite early to reach before the Commander and the others begin to check out for the journey back to Skyhold. " Josh nodded to her. He was thankful that Alistair agreed to look after Cullen but he knew that the former-warden could only remain for so long. "Leliana has sent a letter; by the looks of it, Neria managed to pacify Branson so he will pose no trouble. Shall I inform her of your impending arrival? Of course, Cullen will not come to know of it."

The mage nodded and cursed to himself as Blackwall smiled impishly and kissed his Antivan's cheek.

"Y-You've all been planning this for a while now, haven't you?"

"Why not?" Bethany smiled and Merrill nodded in agreement with an elated grin. "Cullen was really dour in Kirkwall; when I see how affectionate he is with you, I cannot believe him to be the same man. You changed him. Perhaps I'll be able to change Ser Branson's mind about you."

"I shall accompany you, Inquisitor. I have *something* that will help with regards to determining the Elder One's next move." Morrigan said with a small smirk. Josh nodded to her, slightly confused as she approached from the corner. "'Twas my intention to show it to you *and* Neria so 'twill be better if I come along as well."

The mage had no arguments and told Morrigan that he would meet with her at ten bells during the night along with Cassandra who would be coming along as well in case of trouble. He barely made it to his quarters when he heard the loud *clack* *clack* of Vivienne's heels. He tried to ignore her but a single word from her had him fixed in place as Vivienne scoffed and shut the door. He gulped as she circled him and appraised him with narrowed eyes.

"This simply will not do, my dear." She shook her head with empathic eyes and he realized that she genuinely cared for him. He saw her cheeks flush as she pulled him into a hug and kissed at his brow. "You are making a mockery of me. Lydia would not be happy to see you sad."

"I-I am sorry Madame Vivienne."

"No, my dear- You are like a son to me. I am ever thankful for the Commander's aid in uncovering the grove and for your bravery in finding the heart I needed. You…could have lied to me. I was not kind to any of you but…you helped Bastien and I still. I respect that, darling."

"Think nothing of it, Vivienne." Josh smiled shyly as she pulled away and the Knight-Enchanter led her to sit down with him on his couch. He offered to brew up a cup of tea and she nodded eagerly as he prepared the cups and spices.

"My dear, will you manage in Orlais? I can come with if you'd like. Ser Branson Rutherford would cry if you left him alone in a room with Cassandra, the witch and myself- Dreadful, but necessary for a barbarian like him. To think sweet Rosalie has such a wretched brother…a travesty really." The Court-Enchanter tittered as Josh returned with a pair of steaming cups. He gave the mage one and sipped the other while slipping into the space beside her with a giggle.

"I would love to have you along for company but…who would keep the nobles in check with you away?" Josh simpered. "I love Josie, but she doesn't have your iciness, and let us face the facts Vivienne: You could kill a fool with your glare."

The older woman thought briefly and chuckled.

"Oh darling, you should have told me that you're this delightful from the start! I simply must take you shopping in Val Royeaux sometime when things settle down. We could find some jewelry and designer coats. Perhaps even a wedding robe?" Vivienne smiled and stood up, she strutted about the room after setting down her cup as if modeling a dress and Josh flushed as she pulled him to his feet and beamed.

Josh liked the older woman's features as he traced her flesh with his eyes. Her dark skin and eyes accentuated her elegant, poised visage and he realized that Bastien must have fallen hard for her, just like the Inquisitor did for Cullen. The mage caught onto his stare and smiled. "Come now my dear, do not act coy. I know you're aching to become Cullen's husband."

"I-I do."

"You could have done better to find a more fitting man for your standing….but I will make an exception for him. Maker- the courtiers couldn't keep their hands off him at the ball! Empress Celene was quite amused."

"Oh yes." Josh flushed deeply as he recalled a conversation he had with the Empress of Orlais after they dealt with Florianne. "She was quite shocked to see how many from her court was taken by his...ruggedness."

"Yet, he is yours."

"No. I am his." Josh smiled as his cheeks burned with embarrassment.

"Is there a difference, darling?"

"He is the King my heart, Vivienne. He could break it a million times and I would still love him."

Josh rode that night to Val Royeaux with Cassandra and Morrigan at his side. The witch reminded him of the *something* that she wished to show him and especially Neria before she left for parts unknown. Said *something* was a mystery to the Knight-Enchanter and Josh found himself pondering over it during the ride, the rest stops and as he and the witch hitched their harts and the Seeker's horse at the stables.

The guards and nobles on the street bowed to him as he walked and he saw Morrigan grin to herself while Cassandra snorted as they entered the central plaza. He also saw Leliana speaking to Butler and sending him off to watch for any Venatori or Red Templar operations in Val Royeaux and the surrounding countryside with his group of agents.

"I got your raven." Leliana sent a glare Morrigan's way and the witch merely scoffed as the former bard turned her attention back to Josh with a worried look. "Neria is ready but w-we have a bit of a situation."

"Situation?" The mage looked at her with confusion as Leliana led him to the lodge and pointed to the stairs. Leliana caught hold of Morrigan's hand and the witch snarled but stopped when Josh saw the bard shake her head slowly as her voice gave way. Josh gave them an askew glance as he waited with Cassandra but Leliana motioned for him to continue on alone. "You…must see it for yourself…I can't…"

"What happened?" Cassandra asked as she approached the spymaster while Josh moved for the stairs.

Josh ascended them and his mind burned with worry as the feeling was everywhere in a room down the balconied hallway. He saw a hysterical Sera rush towards him and she pulled him into a room with dim lighting in the darkness that contrasted the sunlight, the candles barely making any light. She let him go and he saw Cole standing in the corner, shaking like a leaf while covering his ears and Belle caressing Branson's back as the bruised soldier bawled into his hands.

"B-Branson?" Josh asked and was dumbstruck as a battered up and beaten soldier clung to him for dear life. Josh wrapped his arms around the man and winced when he heard how the man cried solemnly in his embrace. He was about to ask Belle what happened when the soldier pointed to the bed with a shaking hand. "Please, tell me what's wrong."

"C-Cullen...I wake him up every morning. He hates me but he's there, you- you know? H-He's not responding! I didn't wake him up today. N-Neria was showing me the e-errors of my…my..." The soldier whimpered as he pulled away from him and darted outside, crying loudly as Belle followed after him.

Josh's mind immediately raced to Cullen. He saw a figure in the bed as he approached; Cullen's half naked form was curled up into a ball of sweat and tears as he spoke almost silently in a dream-born haze. Neria had her bruised hand on the end table with a look of sadness in her eyes. Cullen's words were too soft to hear so Cole had to say it loudly.

"Maker forgive me! I desire him but…I love him! He is not Her- He is gentle and beautiful! Please! He was a good mage. He didn't fail. Don't kill him! No! Stay away. Stay away! Leave us. Please. The mage is- NO! Fingers in my head- don't! Don't rip him away! Anything but that! Take me! No…please! NO!" Josh heard Cole and he fell to his knees in despair.

"Give me some time…with him please." Josh whispered and everyone obliged and shut the door as Josh moved closer to the man he loved with all his heart. His Mark flared up as he shook his head in confusion- What Cole had said…it didn't match what Cullen had told him of Kinloch Hold. He wept silently as he balled his throbbing fist that often surged with veilfire. "Oh C-Cullen I…I cannot see you this way. Forgive me vhenan…I shouldn't have left you. Please…come back to me! No matter what my fears or pains- I love you…"

Josh reached out and caressed the Commander's overheated cheek. Almost immediately as if awaiting his touch, Cullen's eyes bolted open and he dove on top of the startled mage. Josh yelped as Cullen straddled him and brought his hands to the mage's throat and pressed down. The Knight-Enchanter gasped for air as the calloused hands pressed down harder, a feeling of intense hatred and anguish washed over him that definitely matched Kinloch Hold and the bottled up pain Cullen carried about.

"Blood mage!" Cullen sneered with hostility as he looked at Josh with anger. "Maleficar!"

"C-Cullen, p-pleas-e. I-I ca-an't…br…" Josh managed to croak as he fought against the hands but Cullen was too strong. He tried to cast his Fade Cloak but Cullen drained him of his mana and he felt his muscles go numb.

"I do not know you blood mage, but your kind is an anathema. I will start with you, then every mage!" The former templar cussed as he wrapped his fingers firmly around the mage's neck and forced the air out of his throat. Josh gurgled for air and looked up into eyes he now feared, seething fire as the Commander tightened his grip further, searing the mage's neck with his now ensorcelled fingers. Josh screamed in pain but stopped trying to fight for a moment and he felt the blades at his lungs telling him that he would asphyxiate if he didn't act immediately.

He closed his eyes in pain then slid his hands to Cullen's neck and pulled as hard as he could at the necklace he gifted to the man he loved and prayed to the Maker as he felt it break into its halves.

It was a horrid moment when Cullen found himself over his mage, his large hands at his thin neck pressing down with red hot fingers. He whimpered as he pulled his hands away and looked at the Inquisitor, eyes closed in pain and whimpering loudly as he pulled Josh into a hug. The smell of seared flesh filled the bedroom and the Commander wept as he caressed his mage's back.

"Maker…I hurt you! Forgive me! Please forgive me my love-" Cullen cried but he was dumbstruck as he heard the mage yelp. He pulled away and saw that the mage had bitten his own wrist. Horrified, Cullen moved to stop him but the mage disappeared with a scream of agony. The Commander turned behind him and cursed as he saw Josh reappear with a bloodied hand as he pulled on his hood and ran outside, crying as he fade stepped down the balcony.

That was when it dawned on the ex-templar. Josh was afraid of him. He drained Josh of mana and the mage did the only thing he could to save himself: he turned to Blood Magic.

The Commander quickly moved but made sure to clasp the halves of the bracelets to his neck. He was wearing only a pair of breeches as he darted outside. The others looked confused as some tried to stop him but others ran after Josh. Cullen had nothing on his mind other than Josh. He needed to comfort the mage, to assure him that he would never hurt him again. It was a mistake but he knew that Josh would never look at him the same way again.

He hitched his horse as Josh rode his hart past the gatekeepers. He did so as well and made sure to remain close on the Knight-Enchanter's trail as they moved from the city to the deep forests of Orlais.

Cullen cursed as he approached the Emerald Graves. It was cold, he was barely dressed and unarmed but he didn't care. Josh was all that mattered and he knew that Leliana would follow along with Neria and a few of her agents to survey the situation.

They rode for a while longer and the Inquisitor had gotten tired, so he slowed down. He seemed to forget that Cullen was following him so the former templar slowed his horse and made sure to remain hidden in the shadows of the forest canopy.

He caught sight of the mage nearing a clearing that seemed similar to the Commander as he had read of such a place in one of the reports Josh wrote to him. He dismounted as Josh did so as well. Cullen let out a sigh of relief as the mage slumped against the gnarled tree at the end of the cliff. He then realized where they were.

It was the Twisted Tree, the place where Josh, Dorian, Cole and Cassandra faced one their latest dragons, a huge frost dragon that Cullen remembered distinctly from his reports as in them Josh used quite a bit of colorful language because his ice magicks was completely useless against the beast. Luckily, he had taken the altus with him and between the spirit blade, Dorian's pyromancy, Cole's blades and Cassandra's mace and shield, they had managed to fell the beast.

Cullen moved closer to the mage and nearly jumped when he heard a noise behind him. He looked behind him and saw Jim waved to him sadly along with Harding, Leliana and Neria hiding behind the underbrush. The spymaster nodded to him as she signed to him to carry on while they looked out for trouble.

The Commander nodded and moved towards Josh. He slipped on a small rock but managed to keep his footing, however the sound roused Josh and the mage looked at him with a look of horror and panic, his back flush to the tree and body twitching to move.

When Cullen saw the panic, he felt his heart break into millions of pieces. He rushed over to Josh to wrap his arms around the mage to comfort him but Josh was far too agile. He tumbled out of the way and Cullen ran into the tree. He stopped his face from hitting the bark and turned to the mage with worry.

"I am sorry Josh!" He cried as he closed his eyes and shook his head in disbelief. Josh didn't even look at him, he instead moved away from Cullen with trepidation. The Commander moved closer and reached out for him. He grabbed hold of Josh's coat and cringed when he saw the burns along the mage's neck- the burns he made. He drained Josh's mana to make sure the mage would not run but the look Josh gave him made Cullen double take as his moved to bite his wrist again. Cullen saw it coming and made sure to pin the mage against the tree so that he could not do anything but remain in place.

Cullen quickly looked over the mage and let out a sigh of relief when he saw that the mage healed his bitten hand and that he was uninjured. However, his relief was short lived as his eyes met the Inquisitor's.

Josh's green-brown eyes held a look of horror- of fear, the kind of look attributed to animalistic fear- a fear reserved for something a person feared from their very birth and Josh gave him a look echoing of that primal fear.

"No- Don't touch this one! Please! This one…can't! Please!" Josh pulled at his vice grip with tears rolling down his cheeks as well as rain as it began to drizzle. Cullen refused to let go, his heart racing as he felt the hands desperately trying to break free from his stronger body. Cullen shook his head as he took in the mage's words and horror filled him as the mage cried aloud. "This one is afraid! Please let this one go. T-This one will do better."

"I am sorry." Cullen said it with all the sincerity he could muster and looked at him but Josh simply closed his eyes and stopped fighting against the limbs pushing him against the tree.

"This one is afraid." Josh repeated as he shivered in the cold winds of the night. He rocked back and forth slightly against Cullen then stared blankly ahead. "Please don't hurt this one. This one will be a good mage. Please, don't punish this one. This one is yours alone."

Cullen looked at Josh in disbelief, his eyes overflowed with tears as he saw the blank look Josh gave him dissipate and all that was left was the overwhelming desire to please. The mage lowered his gaze to the ground and had a cheerless expression as Cullen kept him in place.

"Command this one, vherain." Josh spoke as Cullen looked him and felt his blood curdle at the detached, heartless voice he used. It was Tranquil. Only the Tranquil refer to themselves as this one and Cullen felt terror as he realized it. But there was something off. Josh was indeed Tranquil, but not quite as he still had access to his magic. "This one will do as you say vherain. Please don't hurt this one."

"Josh…"

"Yes Master? This one is ready to serve."

Cullen cried as he saw the blank look Josh gave him again. It was better than the fearful look Josh gave him earlier but it made him cringe inside. This Josh was broken, by a single moment of madness and horror. He knew Josh was fragile but he didn't think he was on the verge of cracking into pieces like a cracked eggshell.

"Do you know who I am?" Cullen asked to get an idea of what Josh thought of him for the moment. The mage smiled to himself and gave him a nod.

"Master. Templar. Arvaarad." The mage moved closer to Cullen and the former templar looked in horror as the mage wrapped his limbs around the Commander and cried against his chest. Cullen immediately eased his hold on the mage and pulled him down so that he rested his back against the tree. He held in his own tears as Josh clung to him like a child would to his father when afraid. "This one is yours, vhenan. Leash this one and take him- But please do not hurt this one. This one is in pain. So much pain."

The Mark reacted in that moment and Josh cried out in pain as he held the hand to his chest with a bewildered look. Cullen tightened his hold on the mage and felt his eyes burn as his tears started to flow the moment he heard the pain in Josh's voice.

"The pain…" The Knight-Enchanter whimpered against Cullen's chest. "Master…please make it stop! So much pain. This one wants it to end…"

"You want to die?!" Cullen gritted his teeth as he asked and Josh buckled in his grip. The former templar however, managed to keep Josh firmly in his arms. He shook his head as he heard Josh speak in a somber tone.

"Vherain is displeased with this one. This one is a failure. Master should have strangled this one. This one is worth nothing- nothing at all."

Cullen pulled away from Josh and nuzzled at his neck. The mage let out a quiet sob as his fingers tightened on the Commander's naked chest while the older man whispered lovingly.

"Josh…you are not nothing. You are everything to me. You are my entire world and so much more." The Commander stopped nuzzling and brought his hand to the mage's face. The Knight-Enchanter lowered his head as if anticipating a beating to follow but it never came, a motion that stung at Cullen's mind as it reminded him of how some mages looked at him and the other templars in Kirkwall. The mage closed his eyes as Cullen stroked his skin and brought his hands to the singed flesh at his throat, lightly stroking the flesh there. Cullen cursed himself for hurting his mage. The youth was like a gentle flower, beautiful and fragrant to even to the hand that crushes it. He could not fathom how the Maker could have made someone so genuine and devoted to the Commander.

"Master is kind." Josh cried as he leaned into the touch like a dog being stroked by its owner. He still had a pained look but it was at ease. "Master is too good to this one."

Cullen realized that Josh still loved him deep inside. He ended the relationship, not out of anger or sadness because of Branson, but rather because something spooked him, something worst than dying- something worst than Tranquility. He knew Josh was dying but he also knew his mage well. There was more to it- he wasn't sure however if Josh would tell him in the current state he was in.

"Come with me." Cullen whispered and pulled the mage to his feet. He chuckled slightly when the mage refused to let go of his chest. He felt the electric pulses the Mark released from time to time but it didn't bother him as he relished in how Josh clung to his form. Of course, he was getting cold from being barefoot and shirtless but Josh's warmth more than made up for it. Cullen pointed to his horse and smiled slightly at the mage. "Let's go home."

"Home." Josh mouthed as the Mark stopped reacting briefly and he gave Cullen an unreadable look when the Commander realized that it began to reach towards his left breast. "Where is home?"

"Skyhold." Cullen smiled as he looked quickly towards Leliana and nodded. She nodded in return and remained along with her agents to keep the unarmed pair safe. The Commander however was dumbstruck when he turned back to the man he loved and saw the mage shaking his head.

"No. Home is you."

"Me?" Cullen asked with a surprised look that made Josh buckle again in fear. Cullen kept him firmly in his arms and stroked lovingly at his cheek to calm him down. His efforts had the desired effect and the youth leaned against him with a content sigh. The Commander brimmed with heat as he felt a smaller hand settle over his heart. He looked at the mage and couldn't help but smile at the look of adoration the Inquisitor had as he flushed deeply. He did notice that the mage was still afraid, but not as much as earlier.

"Home."

"Are you afraid of me?"

"This one is terrified but will obey." Josh nodded, breaking eye contact and blushing profusely.

"Let's go home."

"This one is home." Josh smiled and shook his head. He shivered slightly as the rainstorm intensified. Cullen instinctively coiled around him and the mage nodded in thanks as he shielded the mage from the cold rain. He knew he would get sick, he knew that Cassandra and the others would admonish him for being so careless but he didn't care.

"I mean our home. Let's go, my l- Josh." Cullen corrected himself. He laughed when the mage shook his head and leaned against him, the Inquisitor's hot breath dispelling the coldness that dripped down his chest. He took the opportunity to clasp half of the necklace onto the mage's hand and clasped the other to his down.

"Thank you for leashing this one, Master." Josh smiled with his eyes closed.

"Leash?" Cullen asked; a hint of confusion in his tone. The mage simply nodded with a beam.

"This one is for Master alone." Cullen pulled the mage along to move with him but the mage dragged his feet and yawned. "…this one is tired, Master."

Cullen nodded and scooped up the mage in his arms. He giggled when Josh squirmed slightly and moaned but he settled down and allowed the ex-templar to seat him down on his horse. He managed to get a pleased look from Leliana as she rode ahead with her agents.

"I don't understand!" Alara said it half crying, half screaming. She held onto Solas as Cullen did his best to recount the last few hours before he brought Josh back to Skyhold. They were in the War Room, every member of the Inquisition that Josh befriended. Every single one of them looked at Cullen with horror and sadness as he finished speaking. The Commander yelped when he heard Sera shout at him.

"I do, you fucking shite-bag!" Sera lunged towards Cullen but Bull stopped her and held her firmly in place. "You did him in! Lionheart- you broke him for real now! I hate you! How could you?! He was…m-my…friend! My real f-friend!" Sera stopped fighting against the qunari's hands and slipped down to her knees. Dagna approached and gave her a hug but Sera still fumed at Cullen as she pointed to him. The elf was bat-shit crazy at times but Cullen had grown to like her. It really hurt him to see her so upset and vulnerable. She pushed her lover away and snarled. "You're an asshole!"

Cullen lowered his gaze to the floor and Neria moved in front of him, she spread her arms to protect him from everyone's glares. The Red Jenny raced out of the room with the Arcanist on her tail. Cullen's heart broke in that moment. Sera clearly loved the Inquisitor, Cullen could relate. Josh…he was a helping hand everyone and he didn't deserve what Cullen had done to him.

"Kinloch Hold was horrible. I don't blame him for what he did. My companions and I all carry scars…from that place." The Warden gave the Commander, Morrigan and Leliana a knowing look and they nodded sadly. "That said, we have to find a way to fix this."

She then pointed to Alara, Solas and Morrigan who nodded to her and left the room to speak in private.

"Fix a broken hinge- we can do, I don't think it's possible to fix a shattered mind- even with all the research we have access to I'm sorry to say."

"We must do something, Lord Dorian. The Inquisition needs its leader. Without Joshua, we are hobbled!" Josephine declared as she scribbled down onto her clipboard like a madwoman. Blackwall touched her shoulder and she gave him a grave look. "Joshua Trevelyan is the Inquisition! Without him-"

"We must be strong for him. Mother Giselle is pacifying the masses but we must keep our minds clear. He needs us!" The former-warden affirmed with a nod and everyone else returned the nod with solemn looks. They had left the mage to sleep in Alara's quarters with Merrill standing at the bed to make sure he remained asleep with a sleep spell while Anders checked his vitals. The mages would come to fetch them if anything changed in Josh's condition but for the moment he was restful.

"Please hold me Master! This one is so scared of this dark place. The white wolf is keeping this one safe but he can only protect this one for so long. Master…This one loves you. Please…k-keep this one safe…" Cole spoke and Belle looked at Cullen with anger. Cole however shook his head and sighed sadly. "Too many shards, mind torn to shreds…a web of love keeps them together. Please don't be angry with him. Josh isn't angry."

"But t-this is wrong!"

"I know the feeling." Bethany affirmed as she placed her hand on the Knight-Enchantress' arm and got a nod from her. "But we must endure…He would not want us to be angry. He would forgive."

Half an hour later, the mages returned. Neria looked at everyone with a grave look. She was too distraught to speak so Solas spoke in her stead. That really worried Cullen. Neria was feisty. For her to ask Solas speak on her behalf, it didn't sit well with the Commander.

"Josh's mind has been shattered beyond repair."

"You mean to say that he will never be the same, Solas?" Vivienne asked with a worried look the elf's way. He nodded and looked at Cullen with anger, despair and respect- all in one look that terrified the former templar. Guilt filled his heart as he tried to push the image of himself choking the mage out of his mind. He could not and he realized inwardly that he became the man he didn't want to become all along: A templar who hurts mages. He hurt Josh and he knew that he was no longer worthy of the mage.

"I do not blame Cullen for this. It was bound to happen. The former-Tranquil are frail and a dreamer who breaks tranquility is frailer still. It is a miracle that he was survived this long without incident." Solas folded his arms and gave everyone a miserable look as he met their faces. "I will not lie. None of you will like the solutions we have come up with. I do not like them at all, but he is my friend and I would see him alive and free with his thoughts than the shadow we saw earlier."

"Stop with the suspense Chuckles. Tell us what you guys came up with. We can take it."

"We have two ideas. Our first solution is inaction." The group gathered looked at Solas with confusion but he shook his head and explained further while looking at the Commander sadly. Cullen immediately understood. It was like how he was resisting his Lyrium withdrawals: one day at a time, but in Josh's case it would be arduous and they had no idea if it would work. "We monitor him daily and hope that he improves. It sounds like a weak plan but it is viable if allows Josh to recover somewhat."

"And the second plan?" Iron Bull sneered as he pulled Dorian close and dipped his head down to kiss the mage's forehead. Dorian didn't respond and looked at the elven mage anxiously. "No offense but I don't like the idea of waiting for something bad to happen."

Many of the group members nodded at his point and Solas presented his second solution.

"The source of his fragmentation is his memories. Since Cole is no longer a spirit, he cannot make Josh forget, however Neria has asked her friend Compassion to help and she has agreed, somewhat reluctantly but agreed only because of the danger to Josh's life." Solas said in a low tone but Cullen snapped at him and glowered with bared teeth.

"What do you mean *forget*?"

"Cullen, if Josh is to live, he has to have a whole mind. No shards, no fractures. It is not enough to scour his mind and simply erase the fractured bits. They will crack further and he will break eventually. Thus, he should start anew. He will forget everyone and everything. It would be as if he is meeting is all of us for the first time in his life. It is not what I want at all, but it is the best way to control the damage done."

"You are proposing *tabula rasa*, a clean slate.' Dorian mused aloud and Solas nodded. He turned to Cullen with a sad look in his eyes as the Commander realized what it meant. It was a chance for Josh to live normally, a chance for him to be free of Cullen's problems and to begin anew.

"The decision is yours, ma falon. You were the one he loved more dearly than life itself. It seems fitting that his vhenan decide his fate."

"What of Alara? Josh is her brother Solas. You can't ask this of me."

"He is my brother, but you were his heart. I can't decide his fate. You saw a side to him that he only allowed you to see, Cullen. You are family and I have to ask you to do it. I…can't." Alara began to tear up and Cullen moved to comfort her. She eased up in his grasp and let out her tears as he looked about at their friends. He was shocked when Morrigan approached with a resolute look.

"You must, Cullen. The existence he has now...'Tis hell to watch- I would not wish it on my worst enemy. You must decide." Morrigan gave him a sympathetic smile. "I do not have many friends, but I count him amongst them. He…has been kind to me and Kieran."

Cullen nodded to her as he flushed. He remembered the first time he saw Josh, the mage walked inside the War Room at Haven with Cassandra and he looked like an unseasoned soldier, green as grass and eager to help if he could, but somewhat skittish. He remembered how the mage stammered when they first spoke to each other, how the Commander considered the mage somewhat foolish and naïve at first but he grew to like the mage's company over time. He enjoyed the conversations he had with the mage, finding his insights on even the most of mundane things to be a breath of fresh air. Cullen really didn't like magic since Kirkwall and Kinloch Hold but Josh changed his mind- about everything…especially magic.

Cullen fell in love with a maleficar who had been a friend of many spirits and it baffled his mind how he could over look everything and love someone who represented everything that scarred him in his life. But the Inquisitor…he was so gentle and kind to him- so innocent with his love and affection that Cullen found it impossible not to love the man who could ease his heart with a single smile. He wanted Josh to be that tender man again- even if it meant that he would not be with the mage.

"He needs to be w-whole." Cullen's throat went dry and his voice noticeably gave way. He felt the tears welling up in his eyes but quashed them before they could fall. He forced himself to continue." That means h-he needs to forget."

"I don't like this." Cassandra muttered as Neria nodded to him and moved over to the door with Solas to await the Commander. "The Inquisitor…we can't just…"

"I don't want him to forget, but if it helps him to recover- I would rather he forget than remain fractured forever. I…am responsible for this."

"You are not." Cassandra shook her head and snarled. "He loves you and he would forgive you."

"I don't deserve such compassion but I will always love him. He is my heart and I feel like someone is on the verge of ripping it out." Cullen shook his head with a sad look. Cassandra nodded sadly as Cullen moved over to the door. As soon as he shut the door and followed the pair of mages, he heard the cacophony of voices in the main hall as they approached. He avoided all eye contact and quickly ascended the stairs, trying to block out the sad glances everyone gave him, all well-wishers solely concerned with the wellbeing of their leaders.

When they reached the bedroom, Neria asked Anders how the patient was doing while Cullen moved over to the form that slept soundly on Alara's bed. Josh's sister had decided to move to her brother's quarters to ease Sulahn into the situation while Cullen would watch over the mage for the first night. He knew better than to try and ease the child into it himself and settled beside his mage.

He was startled when Josh woke up suddenly and latched onto him, a crying mess as Merrill looked rather confused at the healer. Anders shrugged at Cullen and glanced with a worried look at Neria who called them over. Cullen returned his attention to the mage and chuckled when he felt the mage press himself against the Commander's chest.

"Master…please don't leave this one alone." Josh whispered. Cullen nodded and looked at Solas. The elf led the others away and told the Commander that they would be outside when they were ready to proceed. He yelped when Josh cried against his chest and shook his head. "Master, this one loves Master with all his heart. This one should not have left Master. He cried himself to sleep without Master. Master is the world to this one. Please stay Master. This one knows he must sleep- please lay with this one and keep him safe. Don't be afraid."

Cullen was consumed by guilt in that moment, especially when he heard how remorseful the mage was and how he lamented over leaving the Commander. Against his better judgment, he unbuckled his armor and placed it on the armoire. He then pulled off his tunic, tossed it on the couch and settled beside the mage as he pulled the blankets over him. Josh was already in his underclothes and clung to the former-templar with a sleepy grin.

"This one is sorry for everything, and he forgave you. It was not Master's fault."

"No matter what you say, my love…I am responsible for this. I hurt you." Cullen caressed his cheek. The mage flushed deeply and purred like a cat as Cullen's hand traced a few hairs that covered his face. He realized that he was so engrossed in the mage's safety and his self loathing that he completely missed the fact that Josh's hair had grown quite long, framing his face nicely with hair that reached just short of his shoulders, great locks of silken dark-gold hair that smelled like roses. He kissed tenderly at Josh's Marked hand and brought his forehead to the mage's with a sad smile. "I am sorry, Joshua."

"Master can never harm this one!" Josh declared as he snuggled against Cullen's chest and nuzzled his flesh. Cullen sighed as the mage's hands settled around his chest with a breathy moan. "Master loves this one. This one loves Master with all that he is. Please don't over-think what happened."

Cullen nodded and held onto the mage. He remained as he was for a while, enjoying the warmth between them. For a brief moment, he could act like the horror of that happened wasn't hanging over him like a sword ready to bring him great pain. He heard the mage snore slightly and felt that sword hit him in full force as reality struck. He gingerly pulled away and moved over to the door and opened it. He motioned for the mages to be quiet as Josh was fast asleep but they couldn't take chances.

Neria gave him an incredulous look as she reentered the room with Solas. Cullen explained what he had done to make the youth fall asleep and Merrill looked content as she pulled Anders along downstairs to tell the others that they would be commencing with their plan. Neria tittered as they stood in front of the bed and watched the gentle soul; asleep and smiling to himself, moving about, the motion reminding the Commander of how a dog pawed during its slumber.

"You should get back in bed." The Warden said with small smirk that made the Commander flinch. Solas smiled and nodded in agreement with Neria. "I have a feeling that he'll wake up early if you're away from him too long. It's…hauntingly cute."

"It…is." Cullen smiled sadly.

"Cullen…" The Warden began but Cullen silenced her with a glower. He moved over to the bed and climbed under the sheets, relishing in how Josh instinctively reached for him with a happy grin in his sleep. Solas moved over to Josh and placed a small kiss on his Marked hand. If Cullen didn't know how close the pair was, he would have felt jealous but he understood why the elf did it. While Josh vhenan to Cullen, the epitome of love and romance in every way- Josh was nas'falon to Solas. Josh explained to Cullen once that nas'falon is the word reserved for the very best of people in a person's life only second to vhenan and lath. It was a soulmate, whether romantic or friendship, it touched Cullen's heart to see the elf show his affection, a sad look in his eyes as he moved over to the stairs leading to the door. He nodded to Cullen and the ex-templar returned it in kind as he left.

"I…am ready." Neria's voice rang out melodiously. Cullen turned to look at her and nearly yelped he saw golden light pouring out of her eyes. Cullen looked quickly over at his mage and shook his head in confusion. He had affirmed that he wanted a new beginning for Josh, a beginning without the Commander but there he was, half-naked and clinging to his lover like there was no tomorrow. He was brought out of his thoughts by a warm hand that settled at his cheek. He looked above him and saw Neria smile at him with tears streaming down her glowing eyes as she seemed to read his thoughts of doubt. "You templar jackass…You love him- Don't leave him. Lay with him. Hold him. Guide him when he wakes up. Be who you are inside and Maker-willing… he will love you again."

"My *love* hurt him." Cullen wept to himself and shook his head as she removed her hand from his cheek. "I am not worthy of him."

"Ugh…you really are a jackass." Neria griped as ignored him and moved to Josh. She placed a small peck on his cheek and smiled as he stirred slightly. He watched her caress the mage's cheek but turned away when saw her freehand hover over him like how Cole often did when he made people forget. He quashed his tears again and vowed that he would never hurt Josh again.

"He will love you again, Cullen. *Forget*."

The Commander heard it. He wished that Neria had made him forget instead but he could never forget his beloved mage. In that moment, Cullen's entire world shattered. He felt numb inside, as if someone had reached into his chest and tore out his heart, still beating against the odds. The horror of what happened washed over him and he let go, his tears covering his face as he hugged at the unconscious mage.

If the Maker ever answered his prayers, he wanted only one thing in his life from that moment on: He wanted *his* Josh back.

It was a vain hope, but maybe…the Maker would be kind, just like his beloved mage.

The dark blonde woke up, a yawn on his lips as he stretched but found himself entangled in sinew and warmth. He yelped slightly when he felt the powerful limbs that confined him in place. He was about to wake the stranger in his bed but thought against it when he felt small droplets and spots of wetness under the blankets that lacked the stench of sweat. It was weirdly familiar.

He whimpered as an overwhelming feeling of love and happiness filled him, presumably from the man that held him tightly to his naked chest. The mage flushed as he took in the man's features, rugged lines and a scar that made him look like a hero that came straight out of a work of fiction.

When he took in the muscles the stranger had, he gulped knowing full well that he liked what he saw. His cheeks burned as he considered pulling away. As if a cruel joke by fate, the sleeping handsome man pulled him closer subconsciously with a tired moan. What the mage felt at his chest however, made him flush deeply.

A clothed, hard appendage pressed against him eagerly, it was large and made the mage groan, his own flesh responding to the aroused flesh against him. Before he got too engrossed in the feeling, he sprung to action, intoning a spell that came naturally to him for some reason. He phased through the bed and crawled away towards the couch before rematerialized. Once free, he let out a gasp when he realized that he was dressed in underclothes.

It dawned on him that while he didn't know the man, the man probably knew him well. The happiness he felt made it very clear that that was the case.

Somehow, he was able to recall the world around him and all sorts of details, he even realized that he was in a place with lots of worried people due to his senses being overwhelmed by theirs but for the life of him, he could not recall anything to do with his personal life. He didn't even know what his name was or if he even had one to begin with. He absentminded rubbed at his scarf covered neck. He cringed when he felt hardened flesh. He knew immediately that it was a burn scar.

Before the mage could look for a mirror to have a look at it, he saw movement and yelped when he saw the handsome man reach for him to his left. When the man didn't find his flesh, his brown eyes opened and scanned the area. The motion of the man jumping frantically out of bed made the dark blonde buckle onto the couch with fear. He saw the man approach him quickly, dressed in breeches that clung to his body, leaving no detail out as to how toned his legs were, not to mention how large he was in other places.

That was when he saw the man's chest and face. He deduced then that he must be dreaming, that it was some sort of trick that the Fade was playing on him as there was no way for a man to be so beautiful and ruggedly handsome and yet he was. He traced how the morning rays accentuated the man's body and he gasped as said man pulled him into a hug tight.

That hug made him realize that he wasn't dreaming. The handsome man was real- the hard muscles enclosed around him was real; the hardness that pressed against him was very, very real. He wanted to pull away but could not bring himself to sadden the man holding him and remained in place. It took all his willpower to lessen the effect the man had on his own hardness.

"Oh Maker…" The handsome blonde said as he pulled away and smiled. "I-I thought you disappeared on me. G-Good morning."

"H-Hello." Josh whimpered as he managed a shy smile. The man nodded to him with a grin and pointed to himself with hope brimming in his brown eyes. There was something about those eyes that made the mage look at them mesmerized by their leonine beauty.

"Do you know who I am?"

The mage shook his head and almost immediately, the man's eyes dulled down; the happiness and hope he had inside himself was gone and replaced by a look of horror and despair as he nodded slowly.

"I-I see." He extended his hand. The mage was unsure about taking it but decided to do so once he understood that the man was introducing himself. "My name is Cullen Stanton Rutherford. You are Joshua Trevelyan."

"Somehow, t-that sounds about right." Josh admitted with a bashful smile.

"Indeed. I am the Commander of the Inquisition's forces and you are the Inquisitor. You lead the Inquisition."

"The Inquisition?" The mage asked with befuddled glance. The larger man pulled him down to the couch and they sat beside each other. It took several hours in which the blonde explained much. Josh began to understand context-wise about a lot of details that was jumbled up in his mind. By the time they were done, the Inquisitor heard the garden bell ring out eight times.

"Are you hungry?" Cullen asked. The mage nodded as his stomach rumbled slightly. He flushed and the man moved over to the stairway leading down. "I'll be right back with some food and wine. The others must be eager to meet-"

"No…please don't bring anyone. Please come back quickly…" Josh cried as the Mark reacted with a small burst of green-fire. He yelped when Cullen moved over to him and began to massage at the flesh and almost immediately the Mark settled down and he gave the handsome man in front a thankful look. He liked the Commander's touch, it was calming. "T-Thank you. I am afraid. I can feel everything around me and it feels wrong. Please come back alone. I'm…not be ready to meet with them today. Too much to feel. Too much too quick. Small steps- And you make me feel safe…like a dear friend. Thank you."

"You would do well not to befriend me." Cullen said dejectedly. The mage gave him a sad look as Cullen quickly pulled on a tunic and boots, and then moved to leave but Josh wasn't satisfied with what he said. He quickly blocked off the door and glared at the Commander. "Don't look at me like that, please."

"Give me a reason why I shouldn't be your friend."

"Because…I will hurt you, Joshua." Cullen gritted his teeth. He mage moved to block him off but the former-templar simply moved him out of the way with a muscled arm and left. Josh then realized that the Commander was holding off on something. There was this sick feeling of sadness that filled the mage and Josh knew it was Cullen's sadness and not his own. It engulfed his senses and he ended up doing chores to get his mind of the pain.

He tidied up the bed and the blankets, his mind burned as he grasped the drenched sheets to replace them. Sure enough, he knew that where Cullen lay was covered in sweat, his musk remained, making the mage flush deeply as the smell reminded him of something but he could not remember what. He was about to toss it aside into a large bucket when he felt a cluster of wet areas just beside the sweat. It was the scentless dampness that he felt earlier.

Josh unthinkingly brought the wet material to his lips and licked at the wetness, his heart was racing and his cheeks burning as he took in a rather salty taste. It caught him off guard as he realized something. While he forgot much, he knew what the taste was. It was tears, who's however…he was not sure but he knew one thing. Cullen was really sad. He knew that he needed care just as much as the mage himself needed it and thus Josh vowed to himself that he would try to help Cullen through his pains- especially with his Lyrium withdrawals.

The Inquisitor managed to clean up the room and sat down on the bed. He yelped when Cullen returned with a large pot and some bowls, spoons and wine. He asked the mage to dish out some of the hot food while the Commander quickly raced outside. He managed to hear the blonde thank someone called Jim and shut the door as he carried inside a large wooden tub and several buckets of steaming water that was slowly brought up to the bedroom by the large man.

"By the time we're done, the water would have cooled down a bit." Cullen smiled as Josh helped him to clear up the desk and moved a chair opposite the one already there. Cullen moved the hot bowls and beckoned the mage to sit opposite him. He helped the mage to sit down and then brought over some glasses filled with wine. He offered one to the mage, who flushed as Cullen slipped into the seat opposite him and grinned. Josh knew it was a hollow smile but it managed to make him flush deeply. He still could not believe that the man in front of him was real. "How are you feeling?"

"B-Better now that you're back." Josh smiled shyly. He couldn't help but giggle when Cullen took a sip on his soup and coughed as it burned his tongue. The Commander wiped at his mouth with a handkerchief and managed an amused look despite the pain that Josh felt on his behalf.

"I'm glad that my pain brings you laughter." He smiled but Josh shook his head and blushed.

"N-No…I…" Josh reached forward and took hold of the Commander's hand in his own. He shook his head profusely and gave Cullen a sad look. "I don't like seeing you sad. I…I care about you."

That made Cullen look away briefly, his neck and cheeks turned bright red. The Commander however shook his head and gritted his teeth. For a moment, Josh sensed immense hesitation but it was then replaced by disgust.

"You shouldn't care for me. I am no one special, Inquisitor." Cullen sneered as he pulled his hand away. The mage looked at him sadly, his cheeks overflowing with heat as he began to blow at the soup to cool it down. The pair ate in silence, trading looks at it each other now and then. When the meal was done, Cullen packed up the utensils and bowls along with the wine glasses and the bottle. He pointed to the warm water told the mage to wash up while he did so in the bathhouse.

Josh obliged, filling the tub with the water and gave the Commander a sorrowful look as he took his armor and moved over to the steps leading out.

"Please come back when you're done. I…don't want to be alone."

"I will." Cullen affirmed austerely as he nodded. He then left and the mage stripped down, enjoying the heat as he got into the water and sighed to himself. He relished in the feeling of washing his body and his long hair, running his fingers through it to undo any knots that formed.

He remained as he was for about an hour and had forgotten that he was supposed to get out at some point. He cried out in surprise as Cullen returned fully armored, covered in a red and gold surcoat with a large, warm bear fur pauldron that made the man in front of him look larger than he was.

"C-Cullen!" Josh whimpered as he lowered himself further into the water. The Commander looked at him, red-faced and a stammering mess as he ran down the stairs and called out.

"Tell me when y-you're dressed!"

"Alright!" Josh replied and proceeded to get out and towel himself off. He often got the feeling that he was being watched but when he checked, he didn't see anyone. He then pulled on smalls, a loose tunic and slacks from the armoire and moved over to the stairs and smiled as Cullen leaned against the wall, a large pile of parchments in his hands and an irritated look in his eyes. "Um…I'm done. W-What's that?"

"Reports. I have work to do so please don't disturb me."

"Can I help?"

"No." Cullen scoffed as he moved to the vacant desk and began to set out the papers. He reached for an inkwell and quill he spotted near the bookcases and slipped into the chair. Josh looked at him sadly as he began to work mechanically through the reports. Josh moved over to the open balcony door that overlooked the gardens and tried to close it when he felt a slight breeze. He jumped when he heard the Commander bark loudly and lowered his head in shame. "Don't! The others will be sending ravens!"

Josh nodded meekly and moved over to the bed. He ended up lying down for a while, his mind cloudy despite the fact that it was still morning. He considered going to the bookcases to find a book to read but thought against it when he saw the resolute look in Cullen's eyes as the Commander wrote out report after report and attaching them to the ravens that came and went.

He found himself flushed as he took in the handsomeness Cullen had, even when he wasn't smiling. Something about the man had him aching to kiss his face and nuzzle his hands. Maker, he could not believe that he was inwardly musing over confessing his love for a stranger he had just met but inside he knew that the man he knew as Cullen was important to him. He just didn't like how the Commander treated him so coldly.

The Inquisitor shuddered as he recalled Cullen's bark, imagining himself to be at the former templar's mercy. He hardened immediately and let out a breathy sigh as he watched Cullen read through a report and promptly reply. He imagined what it would feel like to have those large hands holding him down over the desk. He moaned as he then recalled Cullen's hardness and imagined what it would feel like to have his thickness inside him, kissing tenderly at his lips and neck. He then shook his head, casting aside all those thoughts. Cullen could never like him in that way. In fact, as much as Cullen's body excited him…he just wanted the man to like him- to be friends with him at the very least.

When the bell chimed out nine times, he moved over to the balcony- the one that wasn't being used by the ravens to get some fresh air despite the chilly breeze. He was stopped by a fierce glare by the armored man.

"Don't go there." Cullen rasped as he returned to his reports. The mage sneered and paid him no mind. Only when he reached the railing did he realize that the height made him quite queasy. He turned quickly to return to the room but shouted when he slipped and fell chest first on the floor. Pain filled him as he cried, he heard Cullen come racing to his side with a loud growl that made Josh squirm when former templar's grip pulled him to his feet. Cullen then roared into his face and the Inquisitor stopped crying and looked in fear at the man that towered over him and backed him up against the pillar beside the stained glass doors and windows.

"Stupid mage!" Cullen gritted his teeth as he pulled the mage close. Their noses nearly touched as Cullen glowered at him and grabbed at his hair with a rough grip that made Josh cry out. He stiffened as he took in Cullen's hostile tone but something deep inside him stirred that moment. He actually liked being scolded for some weird reason that he could not understand. "I…have more reports to complete. You will sit quietly beside me or I will punish you."

"*Punish* me?"

"Do not question me. Go inside." Cullen pulled away and pointed to the desk. Josh nodded as Cullen moved into the room and shifted the chair that was opposite the desk to be next to his own chair. He then sat down and glared at Josh as the mage looked away the moment he saw the smoldering brown eyes that looked at him. He whimpered when he felt Cullen grab hold of his chin with a scoff. "Remember, if you bother me, I will punish you."

Josh nodded as Cullen let go of him and resigned himself to sit quietly with the man. He had to admit, he was really enjoying being so close to the Commander. He could actually smell the scent of the oils he probably used while bathing. He couldn't help but admire the way Cullen's hair curled and shined in the morning rays like threads made from the sun's light itself. He was tempted to touch them but knew better.

An hour went by and the mage decided to lean slightly against the Commander's fur pauldron when he yawned to himself, hoping that the Commander would not notice. He managed to do so and relished in the warmth it provided. He curled against it slightly and closed his eyes in contentment. He soon fell into a deep slumber and dreamt of hugging a furry, large, reluctant lion that roared a lot but made sure that he was comfy against his chest despite his complaints.

It was midday and the Commander had finally finished all his reports. He let out a sigh of relief as he recalled that the mage listened to him for once and actually remained silent. He sent of the last remaining report to Cassandra regarding his Lyrium withdrawal and then spoke in a commanding tone.

"It's good that you listened. I didn't want to-" Cullen turned to the mage and flushed when he saw that he was fast asleep against his shoulder. He immediately shut his mouth and smiled sadly as he watched the mage snuggle slowly into the warm fur that Cullen wore.

The Commander slowly turned and pulled the mage into an embrace; he then carried the sleeping mage and undressed him, stopping himself from kneading flesh that he desired with all his heart. Once he had Josh under the blankets and smiling to himself, he momentarily considered going to his own quarters. It wasn't that he didn't want look after the mage but he couldn't resist being near him. It was completely against the plan he had to distance himself from Josh.

He hated himself for being a jerk to Josh but it required- or at least it was what he told himself. It tore at his heart to hear that Josh had already begun to care for him. He contemplated over how gentle the mage was still, the man of tender years who still loved him innocently even after having his mind wiped. Cullen should have been happy but he knew that he would hurt Josh in the end- he knew that Josh himself knew it but the mage…as loving and gentle as he was- he didn't care for himself. The mage thought that Cullen didn't notice him staring at him while he skimmed his reports but the Commander felt his eyes and Maker…he wanted to take Josh right there on that bed.

He wanted to rip into the mage and claim his lips. He wanted to tear off his clothes and grind against the man he loved but he knew that it was a bad idea. He would hurt Josh again and again and the mage didn't deserve such. He needed someone to look after him and take care of him. He needed someone to love him and never to harm him. Thus, Cullen accepted the fact that he needed to make sure that Josh would stop loving him

The first day and night was a drag, but at least Cullen survived the night without incident. He woke up the next morning- somewhat accustomed to sleeping beside the mage, yet distancing himself the moment he awoke.

Josh, that morning, had breakfast in the main hall; so Cullen took the opportunity to introduce the shy mage to everyone. He noticed a sad look in the mage's eyes as if he knew exactly what he had lost and accepted it. Cullen watched as the Inner Circle reacquainted themselves with the mage and within an hour, the shyness was gone and one could act as if the mage had never lost his memories. If only Cullen could tear out the feeling of guilt that filled him as he stared into those green eyes and remembered how frightened they looked when Cullen had followed him to the Twisted Tree.

"Cullen? Are you alright?" Josh asked. He was pulled out of his mental agony by the mage touching his hand. He immediately pulled away and scoffed. Many of their friends that sat at the table gave him an angry look as Josh shook his head in confusion and looked away. Cullen didn't have to look at him to know that the mage would be a crying mess over him later. He inwardly told himself that it was for the best: *Make Josh hate me and despise me so much that he completely forgets about the affection he has for me.* It was easier said than done and he knew the others would hate him for it but it was required.

Once the mage spent some time in private with Solas and Alara, Cullen took him to meet with Morrigan and Neria at Cassandra and Leliana's behest. The Warden and witch spoke with him briefly, all the while throwing concerned glances at each other and angry glances at the ex-templar. Morrigan took them into a room adjacent to the chapel and pointed to an obscenely large mirror at the end of the room. She explained that it was an eluvian, a relic out of elvhen legend. She flicked her wrist and the mirror turned into a portal of shining light and color.

"Come Warden. You followed me into the Dragonbone Wastes years ago. It is only right that I show you where I winded up in the years that rushed by." The witch said as she walked inside the mirror and disappeared, making Cullen's heart quicken as the Warden followed suit. Josh moved, grabbing hold to the Commander's hand but ended up rooted in place as Cullen refused to move. He wrenched his hand away from the Inquisitor's and snarled loudly.

"I should remain here."

"Come with, please. I would prefer you at my side, ma falon."

"Ir mala tel'falon- ma nuvinen." Cullen cursed; he noticed a tear sliding down the mage's cheek as he said it. He wanted to wipe it away but the mage nodded and walked into the light. He followed Josh into the shifting colors; the cold air of Skyhold was replaced with a rush of fresh air and blankets of mist over a massive area littered with thousands of eluvians. Josh walked towards the pair of mages and Morrigan nodded. He managed to see a look of surprise on the Inquisitor's tearless face as Cullen stood beside him.

"Whatever name this place had, it is now long forgotten. I call it the Crossroads. I walked its paths years ago when I required sanctuary for myself and Kieran."

"Sanctuary?" Cullen asked with a worried look. The witch nodded and Neria sighed.

"The Witch of the Wilds, Flemeth was after her and the child. I followed Morrigan to see if she was alright. I'm glad you found this place. It is beautiful. Vibrant. Kieran must have loved it here…" Neria smiled as she moved about and twirled in the mists.

"I see color everywhere, like light reflecting off glass, a rainbow." Josh grinned as he moved to her and looked about in awe but Cullen saw no color except the dull grey of the ground and the bluish mists around them. Judging from the look Morrigan gave him, she too saw no color in the Crossroads.

"I see nothing but dullness about me." Cullen rasped with a shrug and the pair of mages gave him a confused look.

"Perhaps elves see this place differently? 'Tis most strange however for Josh to see the place as an elf does…unless…" Morrigan approached the mage and gave him a haughty look as she turned her gaze to Cullen. "The Inquisitor is elf-blooded, is he not?"

Cullen hesitated at first but Josh smiled at him. The Commander nodded to the witch and Morrigan returned it with a smile.

"I thought so. Back to my original point, old magicks keep this place intact. As you can see, there are many eluvians here. Some still function- like a door left accidentally ajar, others are locked from the other side and the rest simply do not respond anymore. Destroyed or perhaps worst. I know not."

"What does this have to do with the Elder One?" Neria asked as Josh moved over to a metal tree, its branches curving upward in the shape of a globe. He touched it and he flinched slightly as Cullen glared at him but he returned back to the group as the Warden inquired further. "I can feel that this is not the Fade. Not quite. Almost like a place just outside it. It's a bit like Blackmarsh and Kinloch Hold but…"

"This place is tethered." Josh said sadly. "It wants to be part of the stream. Maybe it's not on one side or the other- a realm between realms."

"Indeed. Without the Anchor, Corypheus requires another method to breach the Veil and enter the Fade. This is not the Fade but it is very close. If the Elder One were to come here, he would be able to tear the bonds you speak of asunder and find his way to the Fade directly."

'Then I must stop him, Lady Morrigan." Josh spoke in a valorous tone as she led everyone back to her eluvian. "No matter what, it is *my* duty to stop that fiend."

"Tis most unwieldy to say such but I have no doubt that you will stop the foolish lunatic from ending this world."

Cullen praised the Maker when he stepped back into Thedas. The witch closed the portal with a wave of her hand and smiled to herself as Neria complimented her skill in magic. Josh asked Cullen to take him back to his room so he could retire for the day. He saw Josh hug the Warden and she gave the Commander a hug as well and whispered into his ear as Josh had a brief chat with the witch outside.

"Jackass."

"Look who's talking." Cullen simpered as she pulled away with a giggle.

"I know I'm a jackass. That was never in question. But…" Neria gave him a sad look as she shook her head. "What you're doing is wrong. He loves you. I saw it in his eyes. You're making a huge mistake."

"I cannot hurt him anymore." The Commander looked away and sniffled. He flinched somewhat when he felt soft hands at his cheek and the woman he fell in love all those years ago adjusted his face so that he stared into her eyes. He flushed as she grinned impishly.

"Say what you like. You love him." The mage then kissed at his cheek and moved over to the door. "We probably won't see each other again…so please don't push him away. We have made Branson see the errors of his-"

"Don't." Cullen sneered.

"Fine- Be foolish! You will end up alone. You will only have yourself to blame. I will pray that you come to your senses before you lose a man so kind and gentle that he could forgive the man who destroyed his mind! Goodbye jackass." The Warden threw her hands up as she left the Commander to his own thoughts. Cullen cringed as he knew she was absolutely right, but he needed to push Josh away. No one could understand his self-hatred. He could not live with himself if he ended up hurting the gentle mage. Josh deserved a better man.

Cullen then returned to his office to find Sulahn and Alara waiting for him. The child was crying for Josh so Cullen asked the Keeper to take Sulahn to the mage, hopeful that he would fall in love with her all over again. Alara gave him a sad look as she asked him to join her but he dejectedly told her that he could not bear see Josh receive the child. It would remind him too greatly of what he had lost.

Once Alara and Sulahn were gone, Cullen slid down beside his desk and cried. He let out all his bottled up emotions and allowed himself a brief respite. The tears flowed as he remembered Josh as he was before and how he currently was and he remembered that it was his fault. He wanted to hold onto the mage and comfort him. He wanted to kiss the mage's lips and taste him. He wanted to rub his fingers through the mage's hair and smell his wonderful scent- but he could not.

Josh was no longer Josh. Josh was now Josh but a Josh who no longer remembered him. Cullen wanted nothing more in that moment of weakness to take back how he burned the mage. He loved Josh but he never wanted to harm the mage again. Josh nearly died because of him and now Josh lost all his memories because of him. He knew that the mage wanted him- it was clear as daylight but he could not bring himself to show the mage his love.

Cullen noticed a slight motion. He wanted to wipe at his tears and straighten himself up but he could not as his grief was too much. The person crouched down beside him and gave him a look of empathy but Cullen snapped the moment he saw the owner of those honey eyes. He burst up to his feet and pinned Branson to the wall with a snarl.

"Are you happy?!" Cullen sneered as he punched at Branson's chest and his brother let out a cry of pain. "We are apart now. We can never have what we had!"

"I am sorry-"

"You are not." Cullen pulled away and spat at him as the soldier slid down to the ground. Branson sat despondent as Cullen kicked at his thighs and arms, garnering a sharp howl each time the boot connected with flesh. "Are you satisfied brother?! I have lost the one thing that meant something to me! If you came here to gloat- then gloat! You shouldn't have come to Skyhold. You should have stayed in South Reach and died there for all I care!"

"Brother, you can't mean that! Where will Jaime and I-"

"I do, Branson. Leave and never return! From this moment on, you have no brother. If I ever see you again, I will kill you. Jaime will remain with Mia and Rosalie. You overstayed your welcome."

Branson looked at Cullen in horror as the former-templar formed fire in his fists and swung wildly. He struck the wall as Branson evaded past him and ran for his life.

The soldier ran and tumbled when he struck something. Cullen looked forward as he moved to punch the man but was left bewildered he saw Josh with a worried look on his face. The mage extended his hand and Branson took it reluctantly as his eyes kept bolting towards Cullen. The mage caught onto the movement and watched as the former-templar was about to reach out to grab the soldier, but Josh intercepted him with his body. He held up his Marked hand, brimming with veilfire that lit up the dusky bridge between the tower and the rotunda.

"Lay one more finger on him and I will send you to the Maker, friend or not!" The mage cussed as he stared down Cullen. The Commander cussed out loud as Josh turned to Branson and fretted over him.

"Are you alright?" The mage asked but Branson remained silent as Josh dusted him off. Cullen then snarled.

"He needs to be thrown out of the Inquisition not coddled! He…"

"I know what he did to Sylvia." Josh yelled in an angry, commanding tone. "Leliana told me- But I know he loved her as well. You might have forced him to marry her, but she loved him and he grew to love her! It's in the past- just like whatever he did to me. I forgave him Cullen! Please! Forgive him! He's your-"

"I have no brother." Cullen spat as he glared at Branson and then at the Inquisitor. The mage shook his head and Cullen's heart broke when he saw the hatred in the mage's eyes.

"I thought you were a good person. I thought that we could be friends and maybe…no." Josh's voice broke in that moment as he clung to Branson and his tone became frigid. "I will work with you, Cullen Rutherford. But I will not respect you. I don't know how my dear Sulahn could love you. That child is so innocent…you- You are a sorry excuse of a man and being in the same room as you sickens me. Good night, Commander."

The Commander tensed up at the mention of Sulahn as the mage pulled Branson with him into the rotunda. Cullen retreated into his tower and snarled as he slammed his fist against the stone wall, leaving a hole where his knuckles struck. He had been thinking about himself and Josh but not about the child. He had been neglecting her and he wanted to make up for it but he began to think if it was better to let go of her. Josh had made it clear that his presence disgusted the mage. Wouldn't it be easier to simply keep his distance?

He immersed himself in his work and cringed when Bethany and Varric entered his office unceremoniously at ten bells.

"Curly!" Varric called with a haughty grin. "We're going to play Wicked Grace. Come join us. You need some time away from your wife."

"Wife?" Cullen asked incredulously. His response made Bethany roll her eyes as she moved behind him and pulled at his arm. He remained in place but soon gave in and allowed the pair to pull him to the door.

"You're married to your work. This is no better than Kirkwall, my friend! Come play and drink with us! It'll be fun!"

"We're marching to the Arbor Wilds on the morrow. The soldiers are ready, but their Commander needs to be up early lest they become complacent and-"

"Bah! Stop with the excuses Curly. Come on!"

"I…" Cullen wanted to protest but ended up shaking his head when Bethany gave him the same puppy dog eyes that Josh used to when he wanted something. The expression had its desired effect and made Cullen sigh in frustration. "I'll come along."

Josh relished in his daughter touch as he lay beside her and his beloved sister. The pair had decided to sleepover in the Keeper's old quarters. He made a mental note to return to his own quarters once he was ready. The current quarters were too large and the view made him nauseous.

He kissed at his daughter's cheek and slowly pulled away from her so that he could get out of bed without rousing her and Alara from their sleep. He moved to the desk that Cullen used to work on his reports. He recalled how Cullen had beaten his own brother and the thought sickened him.

While he could never condone rape, Leliana had made it clear that Sylvia forgave Branson before her suicide, that she loved the soldier and that in turn Branson had grown to love her after marriage. Leliana also told the mage that Sylvia sent the incriminating letters to Cullen to get it off her chest before her depression led to the suicide. The tone of her writings said that much.

Earlier, Branson himself confessed what he had done to Sylvia and how he was still grief-stricken over her suicide. He could feel the soldier's sadness and he could not help but hold him close to comfort him. What he did was wrong, but Josh forgave him because Josh could feel his repentance. It was real and the man had turned over a new leaf- especially with regards to Bethany. Josh however had a feeling that the soldier's sudden paradigm shift was as a result of whatever happened between the mage himself and the Commander.

As much as Josh grew to hate Cullen, he understood the Commander- somewhat. What really concerned him however; was that no one told him who Cullen was to him. Neither Branson, nor the Inner Circle, nor the Inquisition members told him anything about the relationship between them. The atmosphere whenever he mentioned Cullen and himself to the others was thick with guilt and sadness that smothered his feelings with a sick sense of self hatred. He knew that he had wronged Cullen somehow but he didn't remember it. The not knowing tore at his insides.

In an effort to try and clear his clouded mind, he took flight from the balcony as a small bird and closed his eyes as he didn't want to see the heights he ascended, but instead, he wanted that marvelous fresh air that only the birds and other flying creatures could ever tap into. He felt alive and free. A feeling that he longed for every creature to feel at some point in their life- but there was something missing in his freedom: Love. It was so profound yet strange. He returned to Skyhold before he got dizzy and landed near the draw bridge when he caught sight of two figures crossing over to the mountains.

Josh stood silently as he watched Neria and Anders leave Skyhold. He wanted to greet them and wish them well on their quest to find a cure for the Calling but he knew that it was best to remain distant. The Warden had made it clear that she would either come back triumphant or she would die- and that any merriment to be done in her name would have to wait until she came back. Josh knew it was her way of saying that she probably wouldn't be coming back but he had to hold a small hope in his heart for her return.

After all, she was the one who saved him from his own mind. He didn't have to ask anyone or any spirit for that information. It was laced in the sad looks she gave him and especially in the sad looks she gave the man she loved to call *Jackass*.

Once the figures disappeared into the darkness of night, Josh made his way towards the tavern when he heard a shrill uproar. He took careful steps as he walked up the stone stairs that led directly to The Herald's Rest. He was suddenly overwhelmed by a feeling of embarrassment and he looked about, utterly confused as to what might cause him to feel that way. He looked down and saw that he was dressed in his loose night shirt and breeches so it couldn't be him.

He was pulled out of his befuddlement when he was struck hard by something. He ended up tumbling along with whoever collided with him and yelped when he felt heavy muscle pin him down. He looked in fear as Cullen groaned loudly above his own cries of pain but the mage gasped when he saw that Cullen was complete naked. It might have been dark and he might have been shocked by the impact but he knew his own organs. The Commander was…huge.

The former templar looked him with anxious eyes as the mage quickly got up. He spotted Dorian giggling as he searched in the dark for the Commander in question with a lecherous look. Josh cursed to himself when he realized that the embarrassment came from the Commander. Cullen was in a fix and he knew the man was proud. He would not live down someone seeing him naked so Josh sprung to action. He took hold of Cullen's hand and fade cloaked. He knew that his magick's duration would be cut short considerably due to it being cast on an additional body so he quickly pulled Cullen along with him.

The Commander seemed to know what spell he had cast and moved eagerly as they darted through the nearby door. They materialized a second later and Cullen covered Josh's mouth as they heard Dorian and a few others move past. When they were certain no one was nearby, the Commander released Josh and flushed.

"T-Thank you."

"Don't speak to me." Josh slurred as he unbuttoned his nightshirt and handed it to the ex-templar. At first Josh shook his head as Cullen gave him a confused look but it seemed the man understood that he needed to use it to cover himself. Josh didn't want to see him in any state of undress. Once Cullen settled down with the shirt over his lower body, the mage tested the door to see that it was locked and nodded to himself after looking over the storage room filled various odds and ends that the Inquisition used from time to time. "We should go-"

"No." Cullen affirmed and then sighed miserably. "Inventory inspection is only due at three bells- and that blasted Antivan took my armor and clothes! My tower's key is in the pocket."

"What should we do then?" Josh sneered and looked away from the handsome man seated beside him and scooted away. "I don't want to be near you."

"I don't want to be near you either- but we're stuck. Jim's out with Mia on the battlements and he's got my spare. By now everyone knows that I'm naked because of that altus and his big mouth…"

Josh scoffed and got up to his feet and shook his head.

"Correction: You're stuck here. I'm going now. I don't want to be stuck with a demon like you." Josh said as he was about to intone his fade cloak again. He yelped when he felt Cullen jump to his feet and latch onto his arm. He felt his mana leave him and he tried to fight Cullen's grip but the Commander pinned him to the wall and shook his head as Josh felt the last of his mana leave him.

"You're staying here with me." Cullen breathed against the mage's skin. Josh flushed as the warm breath made the skin on his chest prickle as goose bumps began to form. He tried again to pull out of the larger man's grip but ended up stuck between the wall and the Commander, who sighed sadly. "Stay. Don't leave me like this."

"Alright." Josh nodded and ended up inadvertently taking in the Commander's girth with a girlish yelp as he blushed and realized that his nightshirt had fallen from the former templar's lap. "P-Please cover yourself."

"What?" Cullen asked in confusion. The mage nudged his head downward and giggled when the Commander's face turned bright red and he immediately let go of Josh to cover himself with the garment on the floor. "Oh Maker! I didn't mean for this. I should have known better than to take on Josephine at Wicked Grace."

"Serves you right." Josh sneered and slid down to the ground against the wall. He however made sure that there was a large gap between himself and the Commander as Cullen sat down rested his head against the wall. The silence was filled with confusion and self hatred that Josh could feel but not understand. Worse yet was something Josh noticed.

On the first night spent with Cullen in the huge room with the balconies and stained glass, Josh was intrigued by the bracelet he wore. It He couldn't understand why, but somehow wearing it calmed him. He made no effort to remove it but while looking at Cullen in his nakedness…the Inquisitor noted that Cullen wore the very same bracelet, with one half of the coin he wore.

Some time had gone by that the mage used to think about the bracelet he wore. He didn't know how to bring it up to the Commander but he affirmed that he needed to stop being angry. Anger consumes like a raging flame through the forest of the heart. He knew that the man he was- was not angry at all but gentle and kind. Anger simply wasn't Josh. Love yes- despair maybe…but never anger.

He looked at Cullen and flushed as he took in the man's lines of muscles and how his form was well built and kept in shape. He imagined that he Commander often worked out to maintain such a powerful body. Images of how he fantasized about Cullen in Alara's old quarters came to mind and he sighed faintly while wiping at sweat that rolled down his brow.

"Cullen." Josh called. The former templar didn't even bother to look at him and simply hummed. The mage shook his head in sadness. "I-I am sorry for all the hurtful things I said. You are not a demon nor are you a sad excuse of a man. Most of all…I'm sorry for whatever I did to you. Please forgive me."

The Commander didn't respond. There was a look of despondency in his eyes that made Josh worry as that same, heavy feeling radiated from the man in front of him. He crawled closer to the former templar and reached for one of his hands. He gave Cullen a sincere look as the Commander looked off into the distance and paid him no mind as Josh caressed his calloused palm.

"Please Cullen…I am sorry. You are my friend. I am tired of being angry and fearful. I don't want to fight with you. I don't want to insult you. I don't want to hate you. I am incapable of hating you Cullen! Please…forgive me! I won't hurt you again! I promise!" Josh begged as he took the larger man's hand and brought it to his bare chest. The Commander's hand brimmed with heat and made Josh's skin flush with color as he then brought it to his lips and kissed at the ex-templar's palm with tears clouding his vision. "I am leashed to you, Cullen. I feel what you feel. Please don't shut me out. Please tell me what I did to you so I can make right by you, nas'falon."

Josh wept but was pulled out of his sadness by a quick movement. Before he knew it, the Commander had pressed himself flush to the mage and grabbed his head. He forced their lips together and Josh could not hold back the gasp he made inside the larger man's mouth. He could not believe what was happening. He moaned as Cullen charted his mouth with desperate yet loving licks that made the Inquisitor close his eyes in ease as Cullen cradled his neck and deepened the kiss.

The Inquisitor moaned as Cullen pulled away slowly, his own face covered in tears as he looked at Josh with sad eyes. Josh reached out for him but was pulled into a hug that filled him with warmth as Cullen pulled him into his lap and coiled around him. He felt Cullen's hands at his back, gently caressing his exposed flesh as Josh smiled against his chest.

"Maker forgive me...I love you Joshua. I love you!" Cullen cried as he held the mage close. Josh suddenly felt his heart pound as Cullen pulled away tentatively to rest their foreheads against each other. He smiled sheepishly as the Inquisitor licked at his tears and shook his head as Cullen bawled. "I don't deserve you!"

"Oh Cullen…" Josh whimpered as he rested his hands against Cullen's chest, relishing in the hard muscle he traced. He still could not believe that what he touched was real. The Commander was strong and valorous. He loved what he touched and saw but most of all, he loved the soul he sensed inside. He needed to tell the man holding him. He needed to say it. "I-I feel as if I have known you my whole life. I love y-you too!"

The Commander pulled away and began to sniffle. He traced the burnt flesh at the mage's neck, a feeling of dread settled in his heart but he knew that Cullen would not hurt him. He placed his hand over Cullen's and smiled sadly.

"I…I did this to you. I b-broke you."

"And I forgave you the moment I woke up afterward." Josh kissed at his scar smiled as Cullen readjusted them so that his back was against the wall and the mage was in his lap, clinging to him and gently caressing at hardened flesh. He huddled against the man he loved and smiled as he managed to see the Commander smile too as he wiped at his tears. "I will never leave you, Cullen. We need each other. We are only for each other. Nothing else matters to me in his world but you and Sulahn."

The Commander nodded and kissed at his brow. Josh flushed as Cullen nuzzled his face; his beard was pleasant against the clean shaven flesh on Josh's face. He couldn't help but smile as Cullen's hands coiled around him, keeping him close and warm while their cheeks grinded.

"You feel good." Cullen smiled as he stopped his nuzzle and kept his face close, such that their noses touched. Josh returned the smile.

"You feel…uh…" Josh was about to speak but he yelped when Cullen shifted his hips. He felt a hard thickness against his thigh and moaned loudly as it pressed against him. He blushed deeply and whimpered. "…hard."

"H-Hard?" Cullen asked with a worried look. It was only when Josh pointed to his thigh that Cullen realized what he had meant. He flushed and looked away in shame. "I am sorry! H-Having you in my arms again got me excited- It's um…been awhile. I haven't touched myself since…y-you know."

Cullen moved to get the nightshirt on the floor nearby but Josh stopped him with his hands and a pleading glance that made the Commander cock his head slightly.

"Josh?" He asked. The mage looked at him, his anxiety still there was somewhat cured by the handsome face in front of him. He traced a hand over Cullen's abs and smiled coyly at the Commander looking at him with worried eyes.

"Can I…touch *it*?" The mage asked. His voice gave way and he flushed as he looked away- anywhere but at the man he loved. He felt a rough hand caress at his cheek and saw Cullen smile at him with a look of elation.

"Don't be afraid. I am yours just as much as you are mine, Josh." Cullen took hold of Josh's hand and the mage gasped as his hand was guided to a warm, hard appendage that radiated intense heat. He felt the flesh stir at his touch and heard Cullen's breath hitch as his small hand barely wrapped around it. "Nhhha…Maker…I missed your t-touch…"

The Commander moved to pulled down Josh's breeches but the mage slapped his hands away and glared at him. Cullen gave him a worried look but Josh froze up in that moment. He let go of Cullen's flesh and pulled away hastily as Cullen moved closed the distance between them and frowned.

"Is…something wrong?"

"N-No." Josh shook his head. He reached out and traced a finger over Cullen's chest and shuddered. Cullen's body was perfect. He could do anything for the handsome, beautiful man in front of him. He gave Cullen a bashful beam. "I want you to take me but…I want to p-please you, Cullen. L-Let me comfort you and t-take care of y-you."

Josh nearly giggled when he saw the flustered look Cullen had as he traced the mage's hairline with his fingertips.

"Y-You want to please me?"

"It feels like it's my purpose…like the Elder One…this Inquisition and everything else in this world comes second to your happiness. I don't want to d-disappoint…you. I want you to be h-happy." Josh nodded timidly as he began to nuzzle the man in front of him, taking pleasure in the feeling of their necks grinding against each other as Josh moved his hand to Cullen's lap and took hold of the hardened flesh. He began a slow stroke that made him moan at the warmth that seeped through his flesh. Cullen's skin was marvelous and he could feel the lust that Cullen had inside him- like a volcano, slowly building up to be released dramatically.

He enjoyed the feeling of his hand moving over the large shaft and over the flared tip but what he enjoyed most was the low groans that Cullen made as he moved his hand, occasionally looking down to see if he was doing the right movements but from the way Cullen clung to him and the sheer love he radiated, it was evident that his efforts had the desired effects.

Josh then began to kiss his way down Cullen's collarbone and chest until he reached the hardness in his hand. He heard the man he loved gasp as he licked lovingly at the slit and began to nuzzle the flesh with his cheeks. He could not help but relish in the feeling it brought as he nuzzled the warmth and kissed at the flesh. He then worked his way from the base and licked along the head, making sure use his free hand to cup Cullen's heavy balls and gently massaged them between his fingers.

He smiled as he heard the man he loved moan as he took the length in his mouth. Josh managed to get most of it inside and began to bob his head back and forth, suckling eagerly at the flesh in his mouth. The raspy gasps he heard from Cullen made his own flesh harden, pushing vigorously against the cloth that covered him.

He began to taste the bittersweet taste of Cullen's bittersweet pre, signaling that what he was doing was pleasing the Commander. He felt a hand settle over his hair and inwardly he smiled as he felt it guide him to take in the whole length. He nearly choked but he loved the feeling of Cullen's hardness pressing at the back of his throat. While he could not keep Cullen so deeply for too long without the risk of gagging, he managed to make the ex-templar buck into his mouth erratically.

"Wait." Cullen said as he tightened his grip on the mage's hair and tugged hard. The mage gave him a sad look as he pulled away, wiped at his mouth and gazed at Cullen lovingly. The Commander looked at him lustily and beamed as he pointed to an empty table that looked like it was hastily pushed against the wall. "Get on there. I'll prepare you."

Josh nodded bashfully and moved over to the table. He rested on his back while Cullen stood at his legs. He traced his fingers along the mage's shins and thighs and got a gasp as pleasure began to cloud Josh's mind when the fingers traced his clothed balls.

Cullen then slowly removed the breeches, urging the mage not to move and let him do all the work. The Inquisitor sighed as he felt the cold air on his lower body but was soon filled with heat as Cullen's hand wrapped around his cock and stroked slowly. The motion made Josh's cock stiffen in his grip as Josh's body curled in delight as Cullen's hand slowly moved.

"Aah…C-Cullen…" Josh murmured as the fingers twisted around his shaft and began to stroke faster. He nearly jumped when he felt the free hand move down to his backside and tease slightly at the tight sphincter, but he ended up sandwiched in place as the Commander took the opportunity to straddle him and lift his legs for better access to his entrance. A deep flush covered Josh's body as he felt the desire inside Cullen brim with intense heat that he could only equate to the sun's flames.

"Cast *Grease*, my love." Cullen smiled at him. It took the mage a few seconds to understand what the man meant but he quickly intoned his magicks and handed the Commander a large bead of thick lubricant. He looked away in shame as Cullen began to coat his fingers in it and began to rub some of the grease at his entrance. He then pressed a thick finger again over it and looked over at Josh who mewled as Cullen's other hand tweaked at one of his nipples, filling him with pleasured moans that made Cullen titter. "Oh Maker…I love how you sound when I'm pleasuring you."

"Hha…"

"Are you ready?" Cullen asked, the mage managed a nod and nearly screamed as the finger was inserted slowly. He felt his insides hug tightly onto the finger that slowly but surely worked him open. A few times, he flailed his arms as the intense pleasure blocked out his senses and all he could do was moan as the man pleasuring him fingered with a second digit and began to stroke him. He gasped as he came all over his chest and flushed as Cullen slowly pulled out his finger and kissed at his cheek. "Are you alright?"

Josh nodded again, his cheeks ablaze as he looked away but Cullen turned his face and kissed as his cheek.

"It's alright."

"But I wanted you inside me when I come, Cullen."

"Of course, love. That…can still be arranged" Cullen smiled impishly as he began to stroke at his swollen shaft and aimed it to Josh's contracted opening. When Josh felt the tip at his entrance, his whimpered and looked at Cullen with horror filled eyes.

"It won't f-fit…" Josh griped but Cullen silenced him with a kiss to his neck as Cullen hovered over him with his flesh covered with redness and sweat.

"It fits perfectly. We were made for each other."

Josh nodded, somewhat reassured by Cullen's words but still anxious as he watched Cullen intently. His mind however was wretched from his Commander's face when he felt Cullen's hardness enter him slowly and he gasped, his hands coiled around the ex-templar instinctively as Cullen moaned into his ear as he pulled out and pushed inside again with a series of thrusts. Josh cried out as Cullen entered him little by little, a strange feeling washed over him as the larger man began to nuzzle his neck as he thrust inside completely. Josh whimpered as Cullen stopped moving and kissed tenderly at his cheek. He flushed as he saw the Commander grin as they stared at each other for a while, unmoving and utterly engulfed by the fullness of Cullen being inside him.

"You were right." Cullen smiled. Josh curled against him as the older man brushed a long lock of hair from the mage's eyes. Josh looked at him with a look of bamboozlement; half mixed with the intense feeling of Cullen's hardness inside him.

"I don't remember s-saying anything."

Cullen giggled as he pulled out. Josh sighed as he felt empty but yelped as he was filled to the brim a moment later. He could not believe that Cullen managed to fit inside him. The Commander was absolutely right. They did fit perfectly. Josh cried out as the Commander proceeded to thrust into him and began to pick up speed.

"You…ngh…told me before all this happened that I was your home." Cullen purred as he stilled for a moment and cupped the mage's jaw. Josh could not help but marvel at Cullen's handsomeness and his strong body as he continued thrusting. The Commander then kissed at Josh's neck and smiled against his flesh. "I am home now- being inside you feels so natural to me. I w-would never leave if it was possible."

"Oh Cullen…" Josh managed to moan as Cullen's thrusts became faster.

He gripped hard at Cullen's chest and cried with each movement that filled him and emptied him, the immense love and desire inside the both of them filling his heart with a profound feeling that shook the mage to his very core. He could not get over how loved he felt as Cullen breathed against him and kissed at his enflamed flesh but the feeling didn't last.

Josh whined as beneath all the feelings he felt, he had a sudden, foreign urge to move away from Cullen but his body made no effort to act on the impulse. The mage felt confusion outside and yelped as he tilted his head backward. He saw, albeit upside down that the door was unlocked and pushed open. When he saw Mia and Jim standing there, gawking and flushed red as they didn't know what to do, Josh turned his gaze to Cullen, who was still thrusting into him eagerly and glaring angrily at the intruders. The thrusts made Josh moan loudly. He tried to silence himself but the pleasure he felt was too great and he could do naught but close his eyes and will the pair and the others behind them away.

"GET OUT." Cullen commanded and the door was shut without delay with the sounds of concerned people. Luckily, Josh heard Mia assert herself and he felt the crowd of worry and fear disperse. He opened his eyes when he felt Cullen kiss at his chest. "Maker, that was bad…"

"C-Cullen…" Josh cried as he came when Cullen licked at one of his nipples. His seed ended up squashed between their chests as the former-templar began to thrust even faster, his movements more erratic as Josh's insides squeezed hard on the flesh inside him.

The mage could not prepare himself for the sound of elation that escaped the Commander's lips. He relished in that guttural noise as Cullen's cock twitched inside him and he felt it: White hot warmth that filled him, coating his insides in it as Cullen hugged at his body and kept himself inside the mage to the hilt. Josh's mouth fell open as Cullen continued to spurt inside him. He mewled as he felt the liquid heat dribble out of him even as Cullen remained inside him.

Josh relished in every second that Cullen remained. He could not articulate how much it he loved the feeling so all he could manage was a breathy sigh as Cullen kissed at his lips and smiled sheepishly as he began to pull out. The mage gasped as he felt the seed slosh out him and gasped when Cullen lay down beside him on the table with a content grin on his face.

"Mia will make sure that everyone knows we're together now…"

"W-Why didn't you stop?"

Cullen flushed and looked away. Josh found it to be utterly cute. He clasped his fingers in Cullen's and smirked at him.

"You are my home. I never want to leave you."

"I…" Josh kissed at his scar and straddled his hips with a haughty smile. "I am yours, Cullen. Take me again."

"Gladly, my love." Cullen kissed at his marked and Josh could not hold back the grin he had as immense love filled his heart and mind, drowning out all the other emotions. All that was left was his Lion.

At the five bells war meeting that Josh called after a brief play session with Sulahn and Cullen, Leliana confirmed that Corypheus was looking for an elven ruin in the Arbor Wilds and Josephine brought up an important fact, that all would be lost if the magister got to the eluvian first. The advisors argued but Josh managed to rein them in and told them to work together to find the eluvian first.

The Inquisitor smiled as he saw his men in high spirits: knowing that the mage and Commander had been reunited. He rode with Solas, Bethany, Cassandra and Morrigan and greeted Empress Celene and King Alistair, both of which lent their support for the battle to come. Alistair however left for the front lines with Josh. They managed to cut a path through the Elder One's Red Templars and Venatori to allow Josh and his group to make it to the final blockade. It heartened him to watch Fiona and Barris fight side by side with Alara and the others against the Elder One's lackeys but what really heartened him was when he saw Branson trail after him and protect him from arrows and blades with his sword and shield.

Cullen left Rylen in charge and followed the Inquisitor but Josh gave him an angry look, Alistair mirrored his look at the Commander. Josh didn't want Cullen to end up in danger. The ex-templar would be where the most fighting would be if he followed.

"I want you to stay here, Cul."

"No, I am coming with you." Cullen snarled as he looked at Cassandra. The Seeker glared at him but the Commander was unfazed. "Nothing short of death will keep me from helping you."

"I…Alright." Josh nodded as he then pointed to Cassandra. "Help Rylen please. Cullen wants to come too."

"Negligent…but I understand. Go Commander. Keep the Inquisitor safe." She smiled as she moved to the soldiers.

Alistair then placed a hand on Cullen's shoulder and gave him a mocking glance with a raised dirty blonde brow. Josh sensed the amusement inside him. He also sensed that Alistair cared about Cullen- that the time they spent together in Orlais had made them friends beyond what words could describe. He was like how Josh felt about Solas. A soul friend, someone he could bare his soul to.

"And here I thought you'd remain with me so we could trade quips. No matter, you must come to Denerim after this. You, Josh and I can have a drink together."

"I look forward to that."

"Me too." Josh smiled as he kissed at Cullen's exposed neck. He relished in the feeling of the neck stubble that pricked at his lips but he didn't mind the discomfort. They then heard someone cough with disgust. Josh pulled away and giggled as he took in the irate look on Morrigan's face.

"Oh, go on! You are both making me ill!"

"Believe it or not, she did that almost every time Spitfire and Leli kissed." Alistair tittered. Morrigan scoffed and pointed to the Temple, making Josh remember why they were in the forest in the first place.

"We need to go inside *before* the lunatic destroys us all- but by all means kiss away. 'Twill be the death of us."

"S-Sorry…" The mage stammered and smiled at Alistair. "Please give my regards to Queen Anora."

The King nodded and wished the group well as Cullen took point with Josh and Branson while the others trailed behind them. They walked through a long passageway and ended up at a set of stairs. They saw that the Elder One was accompanied by Calpernia and Samson, who spoke about a *Well of Sorrows*. Josh felt Cullen's blood boil as he caught the Commander glaring at the raven-haired man but he managed to keep the man's anger under control by touching his shoulder. They watched in horror as Corypheus set off a trap and it destroyed his body and several elves that defended the temple, allowing his servants to cross the bridge unharmed.

When they reached the bridge, they had enough time to watch the enslaved Grey Wardens, Red Templars and the Venatori get into the temple proper but there was an unspoken animosity between Calpernia and Samson. Josh could sense the doubt and unease Calpernia radiated. Samson however was completely blind. He could tell that he would not be able to appeal to his empathy.

Morrigan let out a cry when she saw the body of a Grey Warden rise from the dead and the Elder One began to tear himself free from it.

"It cannot be!"

"Across the bridge! Move!" Josh shouted as he intoned a Haste spell. Solas had told him that his magic and his fighting skills remained largely intact due to muscle memory. As such he was able to use the spell to spirit them across the bridge faster than normally but, they heard the Red Lyrium dragon as it landed and bee-lined for them, much quicker than their steps.

Cullen reached the doors first and used his enhanced strength to push the doors closed once everyone else was inside before the dragon could get through. When the door shut, it sealed completely and the only way to go was forward, deeper into the Temple of Mythal.

"Is everyone alright?" The Commander asked. Everyone nodded which made Josh sigh in relief.

"That thing just came back! From the bloody dead!" Branson yelped with a frightened look in his eyes.

"Josh…this is bad! We won't be able to kill him!" Bethany said; her eyes and self filled with anxiety. Cullen however took hold of her hand and managed to calm her down

"We will have to find a way then." Josh nodded at his Commander's thinking.

"Archdemons possess the same ability as what we witnessed. I saw it myself atop Fort Drakon but…there may yet be a way."

Josh then confronted Morrigan when he recalled Calpernia speaking of a "Well of Sorrows" to Samson and the Elder One, knowing little of what could be meant by it. It was similar to what the spirits spoke of in his dreams but not quite as he knew in his heart that it wasn't an eluvian. Josh heard Branson chuckle to himself when he gave the witch a frustrated snarl, cut her short, and decided to check out the vestibule with Branson and Bethany. He stepped on a tile and marveled as it lit up with ethereal light. Branson however didn't want to go near the tiles and held Bethany back. Josh thought that the look of concern he had was very cute and he hoped that the soldier would never harm Bethany in future.

"I see he is warming up to your irritating brother." The mage heard the witch cuss. Josh looked back at her and scoffed as Morrigan shook her head and glowered when Solas gave her a sideways look. Josh returned his attention to the inscription in front of him, his mind bouncing between the etching and the words of the horrid witch speaking to the Commander. "Looks like you and Lady Hawke are the only ones not giving me the evil eye. Lovely."

"Atish'all vir'abelasan. *Enter the path of the Well of Sorrows.*" Josh translated as Cullen moved close to the altar and stepped beside the mage. When he did so, the tile he stepped on lit up all the others and the Knight-Enchanter immediately pulled him away from the tiles to the steps and smiled bashfully at Cullen when he saw them all lose their light. "I…see. Stay here, vhenan. If more than one person walks, it resets the magic."

Cullen nodded to him and the mage moved about the tiles alone, making sure he touched each one without moving onto the same one twice. When he finished, the magic lit up all the tiles and the doors to the temple opened the way forward.

"Was this like knocking on the temple doors to the ancient elves, I wonder?" Morrigan asked.

"Maybe- It looks like there's something up there. Let's go over there before we go inside. Might find something useful." Bethany pointed to a balcony adjoining to the level of the doors. Cullen watched Branson move to stop her but Josh grabbed his arm and shook his head and told him to give her some freedom. While the woman was too caring at times, she could take care of herself.

They made their way into a room with a few boxes with elvhen weapons but what caught Morrigan's attention was a rather large statue of a wolf on the balcony, littered with a few offerings. Josh had to admit that the statue caught his eye too. It was…breath-taking, even as old as it was. It was finely crafted and well taken care of. It…reminded him of a spirit that watched him during his sleep from a distance.

"Why is *this* here?"

"Something wrong, witch?" Branson sneered and Morrigan gave him a dirty look as Josh moved beside her. Cullen moved close too and took in the wolf's large visage.

"This depicts the Dread Wolf, Fen'Harel. Having a statue of him here is as blasphemous as painting Andraste naked in the chantry."

The mage looked at the statue with a thoughtful expression as he touched its many lines and ridges. He pulled away from it with a content look and turned to the witch with an idea of what it could mean.

"Perhaps it speaks of a relationship that the Dread Wolf has with Mythal that we do not understand."

"Insightful. Where did you think that up?"

"I do not remember- I do know however that we all lack information. We need more. Conjectures are fine and all but we need proof."

"Agreed." Solas gave the mage a hearty nod and Josh returned it in kind with a genuine beam. Solas was many things but he knew just as the mage did that there was something profound about Mythal and Fen'Harel's relationship.

As they returned to the doors to the temple itself, Josh explained a bit on Mythal and his knowledge made the former templar uneasy. Cullen voiced that he liked a good story so long as it remained such and every second he spent in the temple made him more anxious. That was something Josh could gauge but his presence did make the older man feel at ease.

They entered a hallway and opened a large door to reveal a beautiful room filled with roots, water and the Elder One's cronies barring the path ahead. They heard a loud crash as Calpernia blasted a large hole into the upper floor and jumped inside with Samson to get a head start to the heart of the temple.

"Shit." Branson cursed as they got surrounded by Venatori and Grey Wardens from the left and Red Templars from the right hand side but Cullen was quick. He bull rushed a nearby Red Templar and intoned fire as he struck, his blade cut through the unfortunate soul's chest like hot butter. Bethany used a few spells and forcefields when Branson got overpowered to keep him safe.

Josh opted to dual wield the staff-spear Cullen commissioned for him and proceeded to hold his own without using magic. When the final spellbinder tried to run, Josh flailed out his hook and yanked himself forward, impaling the Venatori spellbinder onto his harpoon. He turned to his companions and couldn't help the bashful look he had when the Commander grinned at him with a wink.

They moved upstairs towards the hole, but Morrigan stopped them to point out the adjoining chamber. Cullen gave her a dirty look as she explained that following the paths of honoring Mythal would be the better option than merely jumping inside the deep end of the temple as trespassers. Josh had to admit, he felt the same. It would be wrong to despoil the temple for their *noble* reasons. Rather, they could respect the lore and only tread where required. However, he could understand Cullen's agitation.

"My soldiers are fighting out there! Every moment we waste means more will die. Please Josh, we need to move!" Cullen pleaded with his lover and was surprised when Branson echoed his concerns. The Inquisitor was surprised as well.

"I agree. The more we dawdle, the more lives will be lost."

Bethany remained silent but Solas moved over to the Inquisitor with a resolute look as he turned to Morrigan in mutual understanding.

"For once, I agree with the witch. This place is filled with ancient power; it would be wise of us to honor Mythal as pilgrims, not as trespassers."

Josh gave the witch a curious look as she led him closer to the door and made her case. He listened as she spoke of how humanity blundered through the ages, destroying things that it did not understand. It sounded utterly romantic as she said that she wished to protect the lore of the world but Josh gave her a dirty look as she insulted his intelligence.

"I know about the price of drinking from its waters. Do you take me for a fool Morrigan? I might have forgotten my own name but I didn't forget how to read elvhen."

The witch looked at him, taken aback at his perceptiveness. She apologized and told him that she would drink from the Well if it opportunity arose but the mage had none of it. He told her not to, that she had to think of Kieran. The boy needed his mother. In that moment, Josh realized that his sense of right and wrong remained. He kept that at least, according to what Cullen and the others had told him of his exploits with the Inquisition.

Josh scanned the rooms filled with the pilgrimage paths to open the door, much to the Rutherford brothers' dismay. When he had an idea of what to do to save the most amount of time, he split everyone up, explained to them that they must not walk the paths together but instead help each other to complete the path: Morrigan and Solas would walk the dual tier walkways, Branson and Bethany would walk on the flat walkways and at the Commander's behest, Cullen himself and Josh would tread the levered walkways.

When they moved to their respect areas, Cullen gave the mage a sad look when his Mark flared up a little, making Josh grit his teeth.

"Does it hurt much?"

"Always." Josh spoke as Cullen moved to the central path and stood at the lever, awaiting the mage to reset the walkways and start his pilgrimage around the room. "I can feel your unease. I am sorry you don't like what I've decided."

"I trust you but…do my emotions increase your suffering?" Cullen asked in a worried tone that made the mage give him a sideways look. Cullen regained his composure and pulled the lever once Josh reached the gate.

"It feels like my arm is engulfed in flames at times…" Josh rasped as he made the bend and reached the other side, then moved over to the next gate. The Josh looked at the Commander but felt the man's bravery take a hit and instead, guilt filled him. Cullen looked at the floor as he pulled the lever again and the mage finished the movement, filling the floor with ephemeral light and song, and then circled back around to the sad Commander. He placed a hand on Cullen's shoulder but the lion didn't respond as he hoped. "Your presence makes it bearable, my love."

Cullen's mood didn't improve and Josh felt his guilt intensify. The ex-templar moved past the Knight-Enchanter as swiftly as possible but Josh caught his hand with a worried look. The blonde frowned as Marked fingers traced his own. He let out a long sigh then looked away from the mage.

"I am killing you slowly."

"We will get through this." Josh gave him a sympathetic glance as he cupped the former-templar's cheek. "I love you."

"I love you too." Cullen nodded and the mage smiled bashfully as they left the room to go to the unlocked door with the others.

"My handsome lion…" Josh took his hand and placed it around his shoulder and leaned towards the larger man with a small grin as he took in the flushed cheeks the Commander had. "Your wolf will always walk at your side."

Josh had managed to forge an alliance with the sentinels of the temple, much to his human companions' surprise and his elven allies' relief. However, Morrigan flew off to stop Abelas from destroying the Well. Josh flew after her to stop her as it was the elf's right to destroy it if need be.

Cullen and the rest of the group followed a female sentinel into a deeper part of the temple and found themselves in awe of the golds and greens it had. It was beyond anything Cullen could imagine.

The Commander chuckled a few times when Solas wandered off with veilfire and scribbled down some runes he spotted into Alara's sketchbook. Their guide used colorful elvhen to chastise the elf but the bald elf didn't seem bothered by it. He smiled ear to ear as the Commander watched him and Cullen realized that the elf was making sketches the entire time he was in the Temple and forest. It seemed that wanted to show Alara what she was missing while she was helping Fiona and Barris.

As much as Cullen trusted Josh, he was worried about the mage. It was a sentiment shared by his companions as they rushed outside after a fight, side by side with the sentinels against some Grey Wardens, Venatori and Red Templars to see the Well of Sorrows in the distance. They also heard the sound of blades meeting and it made Cullen's heart quicken. When they reached the bottom of the stairs, they saw Josh fighting Samson, two on one as Calpernia used her magics to addle the Red Templar.

"Vishante kaffas! Die already!" She cried as she summoned up a huge fireball and flung it at Samson, who tried to leap out off the way but Josh froze him and fade stepped to safety.

"Inquisitor. Thank you for this…I…" Calpernia nodded to Josh smiled at her briefly.

"What's going on here?" Cullen glared at the Tevinter mage but Josh moved in front of her and snarled. He turned back to Calpernia with a warm look that made the Commander double take.

"Make Tevinter a better place, Calpernia. Vitae benefaria." Josh bowed to her and she returned it with a genuine smile. Cullen realized that perhaps he judged her too harshly as Josh was able to sense intent and emotion thus, he would know her heart better.

"Na via lerno victoria, somniari. I will do my best." Cullen nodded as Calpernia left. Josh gave him a grave look as he looked at Samson, still breathing- somewhat charred and wheezing in agony. He then smiled at the Commander with flushed cheeks.

"She did all this for Tevinter. I will not kill anyone who can be reasoned with. He…however I will leave for Belle. I was told that he wronged her so she will decide his fate at Skyhold."

"Ma nuvinen ma fen." Cullen nodded, somewhat disappointed that he didn't get to fight Samson but he was happy to Josh alive and well.

As Cullen and the others were about to approach the Well of Sorrow, Abelas ran past and used magic to form the way to the Well of Sorrows with stray stones, a bird followed him closely. Cullen darted up the makeshift stairs his companions following close behind. Morrigan reformed into herself to block off the elf, but Josh intercepted her in his raven form and pushed her away from Abelas, who gave the mage a content look.

"Let go of me!"

"No. We came here to stop the Vessels of the Elder One, not to tamper with the Well- we have stopped his goons and now it is time to leave!" Josh gritted his teeth as he spoke and the ancient sentinel let out a sigh of relief but Morrigan pushed on.

An argument broke out and Abelas decided to step in. Cullen was surprised by the civility the elf had with Josh, as if he spoke to a dear friend that knew all his life. The Commander was still wary but it never ceased to amaze him how Josh could persuade and befriend even the most hostile of people.

Abelas explained that the Well of Sorrows was all that was left of the great temple of Mythal and that each time they awakened to defend it, the world was so different. Cullen watched as Josh nodded to the elf in understanding. After all was said and done, Abelas granted Josh permission to decide who would drink from the well because the Elder One would destroy everything and he believed the Inquisitor came with good intentions for the Well of Sorrows. He earned the right to do as he pleased with it.

"Ma serannas, ma falon." Josh greeted him after Solas spoke to him in elvhen. The Commander stood awkwardly as the elf left them to their own devices. Josh and Morrigan stood side by side in front of the Well afterward, an uneasy air hung about them.

Morrigan pointed out that the Well was the key to using Mythal's last eluvian. Cullen cringed slightly when he saw it behind the Well, remembering the odd realm that lie inside it: the Crossroads. When Josh turned to the group to decide who would drink from it, Solas immediately clammed up. Bethany shook her head as she looked at the waters with dread, Cullen himself and Branson were out of the question but they expressed that Morrigan should drink from it.

The witch smiled when she heard them vouching for her but the smile vanished and Cullen felt his heart drop when Josh silenced her and glowered at her.

"I can't allow you to drink from it." Josh shook his head fervently and pointed at the witch with anger in his eyes. "Think of Kieran. He needs his mother."

"And Sulahn needs her father." Morrigan retorted. Josh hesitated slightly but recovered as he looked at Cullen and grinned sadly. He gave Cullen the same look he had at Haven when he decided to stand against the Elder One alone.

"She has Cullen. I will drink from it."

"This will be wasteful. "Tis a mistake." Morrigan fumed but the mage ignored her and stepped inside the Well.

"Says who?"

"I do." Morrigan snarled but Josh ignored her and gave her a glower as Cullen moved over to the edge.

"Then let it be a waste. I lost my memories- but I know in my heart…the man I was would never allow you to jeopardize the future you have with Kieran. Never!" Josh shouted as he looked at Morrigan and the glare turned into a warm smile when the witch reeled backward in shock at his sincerity.

The mage turned to his sister then to Cullen, who stood at the steps of the Well. Josh beckoned him to enter and the Commander obliged; he let out a slight cringe as he felt an otherworldly cold wash over his flesh through his armor and clothes. He knew in that moment that there was something deep and powerful in the waters. It terrified him somewhat but when Josh took hold his hand, the feeling dispelled and all that remained was his best friend.

"I know that you've decided this for yourself…but I can't help but feel like I'm losing you again." The former templar said as Josh traced his cheek with a sad smile. He tried to return the smile but instead his will waivered and he pulled Josh into a sudden hug.

"Cullen…" Josh whimpered as the Commander tightened his hold on the mage. He completely forgot that the others were watching them and kept his arms around his mage, the water at their knees, cold and pleasant despite the ex-templar's discomfort. He pulled away when Josh pushed at his chest with a worried look that he aimed at Morrigan. "There's a geas. I can hear them. They've all given themselves to Mythal. You do not want their voices in your head."

"I…" The witch looked at Josh with concern that made Cullen anxious. "What of you? You have a great deal of elvhen lore but this geas…I worry, my friend."

"My templar will take care of me. He knows the signs to look for and…" Josh turned to Cullen and smiled bashfully. "He will not fail me. There is no one I trust more than him."

The Commander nodded and returned to the others. He watched as Josh plunged himself down into the waters and screamed when the water burst out. The group ducked to dodge the torrent but the cold waters never met them and all that remained in the now empty well was Josh, flat on his back, unresponsive to them crying out his name in concern.

Cullen rushed forward and slid down to his knees, bringing the mage to his chest with teary eyes as Josh's skin cooled to the touch. He saw his companions circle around him as he stroked the unconscious mage's hairline and let out a sharp gasp when the mage bolted upright, a scared look on his face as he pulled away, green light radiating from his eyes.

"Hima fen, hara vherain- i've is ir'vera ir vhenan…leanash josh, ir nadas hasa!" The Knight-Enchanter bawled as he moved away from everyone but cooled down once he saw Solas. The elven apostate took his hand and smiled sadly as they moved over to Cullen. The ex-templar took his friend's hand and smiled when their eyes met. The mage flushed deeply as Cullen smiled at him. "…I…That was upsetting."

"I was so afraid." Cullen wrapped his hands around the mage and Josh eased into his hold.

"Now is not the time brother!" Branson shouted as he pointed to the door they entered from and Cullen heard Corypheus snarl in anger. He levitated himself forward at an alarming speed but Josh was quicker. He rushed to the eluvian and touched it, opening it to the Crossroads and ushered everyone inside with his flaring Mark.

"Go! Into the mirror! Now!"

Cullen stopped and waited as the Inquisitor gave him a worried look laced with intense pain. The Commander took hold of his wrist as Josh intoned an ice spell to slow down the Elder One. A woman made from water and ice appeared where the Well was and nodded to Josh as the mage turned and pulled Cullen through the eluvian. They heard a the distinct singing of glass shattering as they ran for it and ended up back in Skyhold at Morrigan's eluvian. Josh touched the mirror and it shut at his behest.

It was a victory against the Elder One and Josh decided to relax for the rest of the day. He spent a large amount of time with Solas in private but Cullen didn't mind as the elf would know best how to mitigate Josh's discomfort from the Mark.

Cullen took the opportunity to check on Sulahn, then he went to see Sera but the elf scoffed and ignored him still since their spat when Josh's mind was shattered. He then spent some time with Mia and Rosalie in the library and then went to the chapel to pray while the others went about their business.

He was surprised to hear the door open as he knelt down to begin his prayer. He got to his feet and smiled upon seeing Bethany and Branson. The pair looked at each other with worried looks and blushing cheeks as they approached the Commander.

"What would you have of- Oh." Cullen murmured as he felt hands encircle his form. He looked at his brother hugging him and couldn't help but hug him in return with a small grin as he looked at Bethany who remained standing near the door. "W-What's brought this on?"

"I am sorry for everything Cullen! I am so sorry…" Branson bawled, prompting the Commander to tighten his hold on the soldier. He managed to see a smile on Bethany's face as he did so. The man in his arms continued to cry and shook his head. "Maker…he's so loving and gentle…I should never have-"

"Hush, brother." Cullen smiled as he pulled away from his brother and slapped slightly at his flushed cheeks. "He changed you, didn't he?"

The soldier managed a nod and the Commander grinned as Bethany approached.

"Thank you for not killing this foolish idiot." The force mage simpered as she clasped her fingers with Branson's and kissed at his forehead. "You know…I've never truly been happy since brother d-died. But I feel it now. He will not hurt me. I only see love in his eyes and it's all because of Josh."

"Yes." Cullen nodded as his grin faltered. Branson was about to reach for him but Cullen waved him off. "Enjoy our victory while you can. Once Josh calls for the next war meeting- well…we'll have to see what comes next."

Both the mage and soldier nodded and left after Cullen asked for some time alone. He knelt in front the statue of Andraste and began to say a few verses from the Chant of Light that always calmed him down and renewed his faith in the Maker and his love for Josh.

Though all before me is shadow,

Yet shall the Maker be my guide.

I shall not be left to wander the drifting roads of the Beyond-

Cullen heard the door behind him open and smiled when saw dark blonde hair and he heard a voice that elated him.

"Praying for victory?" Josh smiled as he closed the door and approached with graceful steps. Cullen grinned as he stood up and pulled his mage into a tight embrace of affection. Cullen massaged at his back with slow loving strokes as the mage curled against him.

"I am praying for those we have lost and those…I am afraid to lose." Cullen admitted bashfully as Josh pulled his face away so they could look at each other.

"You're afraid for me?"

"Of course." The Commander nodded sadly as he recalled the Elder One and how he managed to cheat death at the Temple of Mythal. "Maker's breath Joshua- You are my entire world…and I must send you to him."

Josh nodded, mirroring Cullen's sadness and shook his head as his tears began to flow.

"What if I don't come back? I'm afraid Cullen-" Josh whimpered but Cullen pulled him into a desperate kiss and cradled his head. The mage stopped crying and bowed his head down as the Commander pulled away and glared at him.

"You will come back."

"Cullen…"

"Say it, Josh! You will come back to me. I cannot think otherwise."

"I…" Josh nodded; Cullen smiled as the mage regained his composure and hugged tightly to his chest. "I will come back to you!"

"Good." Cullen said as he adjusted so that he could graze Josh's neck with his neck stubble. The feeling of the mage's soft flesh against him was so delightful but what made Cullen happy was the moan he got from the mage as he did so. He began to kiss at Josh's neck and then pulled away and rested his forehead against Josh's with closed eyes. He heard his mage sigh contently as they held each other close.

"I love you, Cullen."

"I love you too, Trevelyan."