Chapter Twelve
Hospitals and Devotion
The sound in his ears was deafening. It was a roaring that eclipsed all other noise around him.
What the hell happened?
Grimmjow blinked and tried to get his vision to clear. For some reason he was having trouble seeing right. The roaring in his ears began to quiet down and he heard something else. Was that a siren? He turned his head to the side and remembered he'd been driving with Ichigo… Ichigo. All he could see was his orange head of hair matted with blood. He started to panic and tried to reach for him, but his arms wouldn't move.
"Hey, please, don't move! We'll get you out of there!" a man's voice from nearby.
"What?" he started, turning the other way to be blinded by lights nearby.
"Just a minute, we're going to get you out of there!" the man said again, and he heard a sound like groaning metal.
"Ichi…" he said and reached over to touch him. His arm was covered in blood and shaking. Ichigo wasn't moving.
"Stay calm!" the man said again as he heard the sound of something metallic.
Then he was being dragged from the seat, his body feeling very heavy.
"What about the other car?" a woman's voice near his head as he was laying on something now.
"No injuries. His airbag deployed, and he's only got some bruises and a few cuts."
Grimmjow blinked and was moving again. Someone put something over his face and he tried to swipe it away. He needed to find out about Ichigo. He tried to sit up, only to feel someone push own on his shoulder an tell him to please lay still.
"B-But… Ichi-Ichigo…" he muttered under the mask.
"Another team is seeing to your friend," the one trying to start an IV in his arm tried to assure him. "You need to stay still for us. We don't know the extent of your injuries."
The cool feeling in his veins was recognizable as fluids and something that made his head feel floaty. His vision blurred again, and he succumbed to the darkness that was dancing at the corners of his vision.
-oooooo-OOOOOO-oooooo-
Grimmjow's next sensation was waking up rather suddenly. He sat up, panting and found himself in a hospital room. There was an IV line running into his arm, and the room was darkened. He looked around for a minute until the door opened.
"Oh, Mr. Jaegerjaquez, you're awake. How are you feeling?" a nurse in pink colored scrubs asked as she came into the room.
"Groggy," he told her, putting a hand to his head. "What…what happened? I can't seem to remember what happened…"
"A little amnesia is normal after an accident like that. I'm sure you'll remember soon," she said as she went and opened the curtains on the window.
"B-But what… There was a sound… And then…" he stammered, trying to pull together fragments of his memories.
"You were driving through an intersection when a car ran the light. You were lucky to only have that one gash on your arm and a bit of a concussion," she came over beside him.
He looked down to see stitches in a cut along his right bicep. He touched them gingerly with his other hand and frowned. "What about Ichigo?" He remembered vividly seeing his head and a lot of blood.
"The boy in the car with you? I can't really talk about another patient, but I can tell his family that you asked about him," she said and patted his shoulder.
"Please tell them. Can I see him?" he asked, at least glad that he was a patient. That meant he was alive.
"Why don't you rest and worry about your friend later," she smiled and checked the IV lines. "Your family is in the waiting room. I'll let them know you've woken up."
"Please and tell Ichigo's family I want to know how he is, please," he begged as he leaned back in the bed.
He laid there in silence for what felt like an eternity until the door opened to reveal his family. Nel came rushing over first and looked at his arm.
"Oh gosh, are you alright? They said it totaled the car!" she said, running a hand down his arm.
"I'm fine. A little woozy and my arm hurts a little but I'm alright. Did you see Ichigo's family?" he asked, looking at his mother.
"They were still in the waiting room when we came back to see you. They haven't had any news since we've been there," Tier told him as she patted his arm.
Sōsuke came up beside Tier. "Son, you certainly got into quite the accident. That other car was speeding when it ran the light, they said. Luckily, there was a traffic camera there. It caught the whole thing on film. The guy that hit you was trying to say you'd run the light, but the police could tell from the video that he was the one to do it."
"But, what about Ichigo? I need to know what happened to him. He wasn't moving when they got me out of the car," he was agitated and wanted to get up and go find out for himself.
Tier and Sōsuke exchanged a glance. He stared at them, and then at Nel who wasn't looking at him. Sōsuke cleared his throat. "I don't know the details, but it wasn't good. The car hit dead on his door. And the car is completely totaled. He hit you hard enough to bend the frame."
Grimmjow swallowed hard. "That's why I didn't get hurt that bad. It damaged his side of the car. I have to see him!"
Nel put a gentle hand on his and patted it. "Grimm, you need to worry about yourself first. I'm sure they're doing all they can for him."
"But I need to see him. I need to know." He rubbed his arm where the stitches were and frowned at them. "I can't not know. I have to know!"
Nel sighed and nodded. "I can ask his dad about it. Him, his sisters, and another woman are waiting out there for news."
"They said they were going to clear you for release soon, with instructions to keep an eye on you because of the concussion. They don't think it's very serious," Tier said and squeezed his shoulder.
"But… But I need to find out about Ichigo." He was in a near panicked state about it. He had to know. He needed to see him, touch him, make sure he was okay.
"You need to make sure you're alright first." Tier smiled at him gently. "Why don't we let you rest, and we can see if we can find anything out from his family."
"Tell his dad I want to hear how he is as soon as possible. Please." Grimmjow was feeling a bit tired though and he leaned back and blinked slowly.
Nel pulled the covers up on him and patted his shoulder again. "Just rest, Grimmy," she told him as he began to slip into sleep.
She sighed and they all three left to go back to the waiting room. Nel saw that Ichigo's family was still there. She walked over and smiled at his dad.
"Mr. Kurosaki?" she asked.
"Oh yes?" he said and looked up at her.
"Have you heard anything about Ichigo yet?" she was worried for them if not.
He shook his head. "The last update we had was that he had a punctured lung from a broken rib. They're dealing with that now. I don't know the extent of his other injuries." He sighed and glanced over to the two girls that were sitting in the next seats over. "Um, you're Grimmjow's sister, right?"
"Yeah, I'm Nel," she said and extended her hand to him.
"Isshin, please. It seems our families are currently entangled, so no need for formalities. How is your brother?" Isshin asked, turning a cup in his hands.
"Concussion and seventeen stitches in his arm, but otherwise okay. He's very worried about Ichigo, though," Nel sighed and saw that the twins were looking at them. She felt a little uncomfortable under their gaze.
"You're his sister." The darker haired girl said, now openly glaring at her.
"If you mean Grimm, then yes," she answered.
She got up and came over in front of her. "If our brother hadn't been with him, he would be fine."
"Now, Karin, this was nobody's fault except the driver of that other car. He ran the light, remember?" Isshin said and sighed. It seemed that he had already had this discussion with her at least once.
"No, it's his fault. Because if Ichigo had never gone with him he wouldn't have been in that car!" Karin snapped.
Nel understood that she was worried for her brother, and she knew that her anger was going to be directed in whatever direction she could see the most fault. Right now, that fault was the fact Ichigo was in the car with Grimmjow to begin with.
"I'm sorry that your brother was injured…" she started.
"Your brother isn't even that hurt, so how do you know anything?" she cried, tears starting to run down her cheeks.
Nel wasn't sure what to say to that. She didn't want to upset her any further. Isshin stood up and put an arm around her.
"Come on now, this doesn't help your brother."
"It was that stupid fancy car of his!" she growled. "If he had a normal car instead of something like that, it wouldn't have been so bad!"
Nel bit her bottom lip and sighed. She had nothing to say to that. Sports cars like Grimmjow's were more dangerous in a crash than other cars. She just nodded and went back over where her parents were sitting. She sat down and felt horrible that she couldn't say anything to help Ichigo's sister.
"It's alright, she's upset," Tier said with a soft look on her face.
"I know, I know. But I understand; I'd feel the same way in her place." Nel figured that they'd been through so much already, and then this happened.
After about twenty minutes, a white coated doctor came out and approached Isshin. Isshin stood up and went to him, the twin girls following and looking at the doctor expectantly. Nel couldn't hear what they were saying, but it didn't look like it was great news. The other twin was crying and went to sit down. Karin sat down beside her and put an arm around her. The doctor left, and Isshin looked awfully calm. He looked over at them and walked over.
"He's out of surgery," he told Nel. "He's got a lot of breaks on his right side, and he hasn't woken up yet. He took the brunt of the impact. They said the car was bent, it was hit that hard. So, now all we can do is wait."
"Grimm wants to see him," Nel said as she looked up at Ichigo's father. "He wouldn't stop asking about him."
Isshin smiled softly. "I'll tell the nurse that he can come visit him. Maybe it will help wake him up."
"Was there a head injury?" Tier asked from her spot seated beside Nel.
Isshin nodded. "Yeah, a concussion and stitches in a bad laceration on his head. It looked a lot worse than it was because it bled so much. They said his clothes were ruined."
"I can bring him something from their apartment," Nel said as she stood up. "I can't do a lot, but I can try to do something for him."
"Y-you can go get something for him?" the second twin asked tentatively as she walked up beside Isshin.
"Yuzu, this is Nel, Grimmjow's sister," he explained to her. "Karin didn't give her a chance to say much."
"Karin is angry," Yuzu said softly. "But if you can bring something from where he's living now, he had a stuffed lion that he kept with him from before our mother died. If you could bring that to him, it would be good."
Nel nodded. "I can do that. I'll ask Grimm for the keys to their place. They should be in one of the bags from the scene. I'll go let him know that he's out of surgery."
She bowed a little at him and headed back to Grimmjow's room to see if he was awake again or not. She quietly opened the door and saw that he was still asleep. She didn't want to wake him if she could handle it herself. She found his things from the scene that had been put in the room with him.
"Nel?" she heard as she was rummaging through one of the bags.
"Oh, you're up. I was looking for the keys to your apartment to get something for Ichigo," she explained, finding the keys at the bottom of the bag.
"Did you see him? How is he?" Grimmjow asked, sitting up in the bed more and looking at her.
"He's still in with the doctors, but he's out of surgery. He had a punctured lung from a broken rib. His dad didn't know what else was going on with him yet, just that he had a lot of breaks on his right side and a concussion too." She walked over and put a hand on his shoulder.
"So, you don't know for sure?" he sighed, looking worried still.
The door opened again, and a nurse came in with a clipboard. "Well, Mr. Jaegerjaquez, you've been cleared to leave by the doctor on call. Did you want someone to bring you some clothes?"
Grimmjow nodded. "My sister can. Can I go see Ichigo?"
"Your friend isn't awake, but when we get you sorted here, you can go visit him. His family is in with him now," the nurse explained as she started checking over the laceration on his arm. She removed the IV and bandaged his arm where it had been.
"Okay, I don't want to go in while they're there…" he said with trepidation in his voice.
"His sister is pretty upset, well they both are, but the one is really angry and might say something about it being your fault," Nel told him as he moved to the side of the bed and put his feet on the floor.
Grimmjow snorted a little. "I'm not that girl's favorite person at all."
"She's just protective over her brother. I can understand that," Nel said with a sigh.
"I even tried to get on her good side by talking about soccer, but it didn't seem to help much," he muttered.
Nel was quiet for a second as Grimmjow stood up, pulling the gown closed in the front. He'd been put in two gowns, one on the front and one on the back. He went over to the bags on the table and pulled out his jeans to see how bad they were. He could see a couple darker splotches where blood had dripped onto them, but they weren't that bad off. His shirt, however, was ruined. The right side was ripped and covered in blood. It looked like the cut had bled quite a bit. Well, he thought, it was a big cut.
"Grimm, look, I'm just wondering…" Nell started to say as he pulled on the jeans.
"Wondering what?" he said, turning toward her.
"This thing with Ichigo. How serious are you?" she clutched the keys in her hand tightly as she spoke. She knew she was treading on thin ice broaching the subject with him.
"What's that supposed to me?" he asked, eyes narrowing at her.
"It's just, I understand you're worried about him right now, and I know you let him move in with you, and…" she trailed off and bit her bottom lip for a second. "Just what is your relationship with him?"
Grimmjow stared at her for a moment. A hundred things went through his mind that he could say. What was he? What were they? Were they a couple? Was that what it was, two people that made each other complete and meant something to each other? Was it just a nice, consistent sex release for him? Was it just because Ichigo let him tell him what to do like Renji had said? He swallowed hard and shook his head.
"Look, right now, all I know is I have to find out how he is. He's the only thing in my brain right now, the only thing I care about, and the one thing I've thought about since that car slammed into us." He paused, fiddling with the gown on his front. "I have been having a great time with him, it's true. And we've done a lot of things together that I've never done with anyone before. I've felt ways I've never felt before, and I don't know how to deal with it." He sighed and then took another deep breath. "I just have to make sure he's okay right now. He has to be okay."
Nel nodded. "I'll go to the apartment and bring you back a shirt. I've got something to pick up for Ichigo the girls wanted. Stay here until I get back, okay?"
Grimmjow nodded. "Alright. Tell the folks I'm good and they can go home. I'll call when I get out of here."
He heard his phone going off from one of the bags and dug around for a minute until he found it. It was Renji. He swallowed hard and thought about sending it to voicemail, but he didn't.
"Yeah?" he answered.
"Yo, man, what's up? I've been trying to get hold of you since you guys left the pizza place. I didn't think I pissed you off that bad," he said.
"Um, yeah, sorry about that. I got hit at an intersection by some asshole that ran a red light. I'm at the hospital now."
"What?" Renji's voice was shocked sounding. "Are you okay?"
"I'm gonna have a bad ass scar on my arm from a cut, and I got hit in the head a little bit, but they're letting me out here in a few minutes." Grimmjow paused. "Ichigo wasn't so lucky. The car impacted on his side."
There was a long silence. "What happened?"
"I don't know all the details yet. Just know he's been in surgery and has some breaks. I haven't seen him yet, but they say he hasn't woken up."
"Man, I don't know what to say. What about the Jag?"
Grimmjow blinked, having not really thought about his car much. "Oh, uh, I think it got totaled. I don't know yet. I haven't even thought about the car."
There was another long silence from Renji. "Do you need a ride home?"
"I'm not going until Ichigo wakes up," he said, sitting back down on the bed. "I gotta make sure he's okay before I leave."
"Is there anything I can do?"
"Nah, man. I just hafta wait here and see how he is. After his family's out of the room with him, I'm gonna go sit with him for a while." Grimmjow felt like he was heavy at the thought of the fact that he had to do that at all.
"Okay, but just call me if you need anything. I'll be free most the time for you."
"Thanks, I appreciate it. My sister's getting me some clothes from the apartment and all that. So, I'm good here. I'll talk to you later, the nurse just came in with my paperwork." Grimmjow looked up and smiled at her as she waited patiently for him to get off his phone.
"Yeah, no problem. I'll check in with you soon," Renji said and the line clicked off.
Grimmjow sat down the phone and went through the discharge paperwork and going home instructions. It was all pretty simple, and he was to follow up with his regular doctor to have his wound seen to. As they finished, he signed off on everything.
"Can I see Ichigo now?" he asked as she picked up the clipboard.
"Yes, I'll show you to his room if you want. I think his family left for the day, so I can't be discussing his condition with you, though." She waited for him to pick up the bag with his things in it and then led him down the hall toward another room with the lights low on it. She gestured toward it. "He hasn't woken up yet, but he could regain consciousness at any time now."
Grimmjow nodded and went into the room, heart hammering in his ears. He heard the soft beep of the heart monitor and the sound of the oxygen tank. He walked around onto his right side, seeing that his arm was heavily bandaged where it laid outside the sheet that covered him. There was a bandage on his head and his eyes were closed. He watched the gentle rise and fall of his chest as he breathed. He just stood there for a long time, watching him.
"They said we just have to wait," a voice surprised him from the door.
Grimmjow looked up to see Ichigo's father standing there, arms crossed over his chest. He came into the room and stood beside the bed, brushing a hand over Ichigo's head.
"I'm…" Grimmjow just stared at him for a minute. "I'm so sorry."
Isshin smiled at him. "The accident wasn't your fault, Grimmjow. I know that. Don't blame yourself, either."
"But, if I hadn't had him with me…" he began, staring down at him.
"Don't do that to yourself. It was an accident. No one could have known that car would run the light. There was nothing you could have done," Isshin assured.
"How is he gonna be?" Grimmjow asked, putting a hand gently on his shoulder.
"Well, they can't tell completely yet, not until he wakes up. He did have a pretty serious concussion. His arm is broken in two places, and his collarbone on the right side. His pelvis is severely bruised, but it avoided being broken. His right leg also has a femur fracture. Then of course, he had a broken rib that punctured his lung. He has several others bruised as well. All the breaks are clean, though, so it looks like he'll heal well. Just have to wait for him to wake up now." Isshin sighed and smiled down at him. "I just get him back and then I almost lose him. If things had gone a little different, he wouldn't have survived, though. The car took the most of the force, but that side just caved in, they said."
Grimmjow nodded. So much damage… "If it's okay, I'm gonna sit with him for a while."
Isshin smiled and nodded. "Certainly. I'm sure he'd appreciate that."
He turned and left the room slowly. Grimmjow pulled a plastic chair up beside the bed and sat down. He put a hand on Ichigo's head and brushed his hair out of his face.
"Please, just wake up, okay?" he whispered. "I need you to wake up. I gotta talk to you about some things, and I can't do it while you're asleep. So, if you could wake up, I'll be here, I promise."
"Grimmy?" Nel's voice from the door.
Grimmjow looked up and saw she had a shirt lying over her arm and was holding a stuffed lion that he recognized from Ichigo's things. She handed him the shirt and set the lion on the table by the bed. Grimmjow took off the gowns and laid them on the foot of the bed and slipped into the T-shirt Nel ha brought him.
"How is he?" she asked, coming over to stand beside him.
"Pretty banged up," he answered, reaching down and taking his right hand gently. "They think he'll be fine as long as he wakes up and his head's good. He has a concussion too."
Nel didn't speak or a few minutes and just stood there in silence. She cleared her throat and spoke up finally. "Do you want me to take you home? Or to mom and dad's?"
He turned toward her and shook his head. "I'm not leaving until he wakes up."
"Grimmy, I know you're worried, but you can't stay here all the time. They'll call you if you ask them to, I'm sure…" she said softly.
"I can't let him wake up alone." He stated it with such finality that Nel knew she wasn't going to change his mind.
-oooooo-OOOOOO-oooooo-
It didn't take long for the nurses on the floor to put together that the blue-haired guy that refused to leave their patient's side was more than a friend. At first, they hadn't been sure, but more than one had seen him kiss his hand or his head. He sat in the uncomfortable chair all night, sleeping on and off. Soon, the nurses just got used to his presence. He would leave to go get food in the cafeteria or to go talk to his sister that came and brought him a change of clothes the next day.
"It's sweet," one of the nurses, a dark-haired woman named Cherise said as she looked into the room where Grimmjow had fallen asleep with his head nestled in his arms on the bed. "And kind of sad."
"I heard he was driving when they got hit," another nurse, a blonde named Theresa said. "I think he's putting the blame on himself."
Cherise walked back to the nurses' station with Theresa. "The rest of the family comes by to see him, too, but that guy always leaves when they get here."
"You think maybe they don't know?" a nurse in purple plaid scrubs named Kerry said. "You know, that he's, you know."
Theresa shook her head. "I don't think it's like that. The kid's father was the one that said it was fine that he stay in the room with him like that. I think he knows they're a couple."
"You think he'll wake up soon? It's been three days so far since he came in," Cherise sighed, looking over the patient roster for the floor.
"It might be for the best. He'd be in a lot of pain from as much damage as he took in the accident. So, it might be better that he sleeps through the worst of it," Kerry suggested.
"Yeah, but the longer he's out, the worse the outlook becomes." Theresa pulled her ponytail out of her hair for a minute and redid it.
Cherise nodded. "I'll go do his vitals," she said as she headed back down to the room.
She was quiet so not to wake up the other guy as she took down all the information she needed. She looked up to see that his father had come in again. She gave him a smile.
"How is he doing today?" Isshin asked.
"Same as yesterday, I'm afraid, Dr. Kurosaki. I wish I had some news, but he's stable." She sighed a bit and looked back on the other boy that was laying his head on the bed with him.
"Has Grimmjow even left today to go eat?" he asked.
"I don't think so," she said and gave him a sad smile. "He seems very devoted."
Isshin stared at him for a long time. "Yeah, he does, doesn't he?"
"I've got rounds, but I'll see you again, Dr. Kurosaki," she told him and headed out the door again.
Isshin stood and watched. Devoted, huh? He could have written off one night, perhaps, as just being a one off. But he had stayed, even though he didn't even have a decent place to sleep. Was there more to their relationship than he'd assumed? He had noticed that Grimmjow hadn't cared about his car, which Karin said he loved a great deal, even going so far as to name it Pantera. Karin still didn't think much of him, but Isshin was beginning to see him as devoted. He sighed and left the room to think about it. It was something more than just a dating thing, he knew. There was more to it than just that.
A while later, Grimmjow woke up with a stiff neck. He sat up, stretching his arms over his head. He sighed, checking to make sure he hadn't woken up yet. He just wanted to see his eyes open again. He patted his arm and stood up. He figured he should go down to the cafeteria to get something to eat. He scratched his head as he left, the nurses smiling as he passed the nurses' station. He made his way down to the cafeteria, finding himself something to eat. The woman that took the money had been the same the last three days, and she obviously recognized him.
"How are you today?" she asked as she rang him up.
"Oh, doing alright, I guess," he answered as he paid with his card.
"Don't look so down. Everything happens for a reason, you know," she said chipperly and went to help the next person behind him.
He thought about that and it almost made him angry. What reason was there for this? For Ichigo being hurt so badly? For all this to happen? What reason could there possibly be for it? He sat down and ate in silence, checking his phone for the local news and what was going on outside the walls of the hospital. He nearly jumped when it rang in his hand. Luckily, he had it on silent, so it just vibrated and didn't have a loud ringtone. He saw it was Renji again.
"Hey man," he answered as he sipped his drink thoughtfully.
"Yo, what's up?" Renji asked.
"Not much, just hanging out at the hospital still." He picked up his drink and began to walk toward the door, so he could go outside and talk without disturbing anyone.
"Professor's been wondering where you are. I told them you'd been in a car wreck, but I don't think that excuse is gonna fly much longer. Did you email 'em?"
"Yeah, I didn't get a response except from Urahara. He said to take my time getting back. He's a good prof." He opened the outer door and went out into a small outside area where no one was standing.
Renji cleared his throat. "So, like how long are you gonna wait up there anyway?"
"Long as it takes. I told you, I'm not leaving till he wakes up," he said, leaning back against the building.
There was a long silence. "Look, man, I'm not telling you how to live your life, but aren't you going a little far for him?"
For a second, Grimmjow didn't know how to respond to that question. Then he realized the implication of it. "You still think this is like my other hook ups."
"Tigers don't change their stripes, man. You can't go from one-night stands to having a full-time boyfriend like that." Renji paused. "I mean, I get that you like him, and you feel responsible because you were driving the car, but don't you think it's time to get back to your life?"
He didn't expect the rush of anger that came over him at that statement. He just saw red and felt like no one was hearing him. "Look, you've been a jackass about this whole relationship I have with Ichigo. I get that you're still sore over him dumping all his friendships like he did. But he had a choice and it was between his sisters and his friends. He chose his sisters and I can't imagine how hard that was for him."
"Look, man, I just…" Renji started.
"No, I'm not done." His voice had taken the hard edge that it rarely did. "You and everyone else think I'm just playing some sort of game, and even with us getting the apartment, you all think I'm just playing house for a little while. I'm not playing. I'm serious about trying to have a relationship. And yeah, at first it was about sex. But it became more."
"More?" Renji echoed. "Like, are you saying you're in love with him?"
Grimmjow had a sharp intake of breath. Was that what he felt? Was that why he was so confused about everything and couldn't keep things straight in his head about Ichigo? Was it love?
"I ain't saying anything," Grimmjow growled and started to really get frustrated with Renji because of his attitude. "And even if I was, what would that matter?"
"Grimm, I don't know. How would you even know?" Renji's voice sounded serious now.
"Look, I don't know how I'll know, and I don't know how I feel!" Grimmjow was grown more flustered the long her talked about it.
"Aight, man, aight. I'm sorry. I really am, about everything. If I hadn't upset him, y'all wouldn't have left the pizza place when you did, and the accident woulda never happened," Renji's voice had taken on a different tone. He sounded like he was remorseful.
Grimmjow was quiet for a moment, letting the anger bleed away. "It happened. And it wasn't anyone's fault but the guy that hit us. The insurance already decided that it was his fault, so that's all being taken care of."
"What are you gonna do about the car?" Renji asked.
"I haven't even thought about the car," he answered honestly. "I talked to the insurance people when they called, but that was it. I don't care about the car."
Perhaps that statement had more weight than he realized because Renji was silent a moment. "I see. Look, man, I gotta go, so I'll talk to you soon. Text me and let me know when he wakes up, aight?"
"Yeah, yeah, sure. I gotta get back to the room anyway, phone needs to be charged again." Grimmjow clicked off and stood there for a time, breathing deeply.
What was he feeling? He was so confused by all of this. Was it love? Could that be true? His car, his most prized possession, didn't matter right now, and he didn't care. This all started out as a way to avoid the drama with the girls he was so tired of, then Ichigo's drama became the center of his life. And he didn't mind it. Even moving in together, he'd just convinced himself it was for the convenience of it. He was a ready and willing partner anytime he was in the mood, and he was willing to try things Grimmjow had never gotten a girl to try before.
His thoughts went back to the club and the pale bartender. Was this becoming that kind of relationship? He swallowed a ball at the back of his throat and wondered. He just wanted to try out some of the kinky stuff, at least that's what he told himself. Maybe he was looking for more, a deeper connection.
He slid down the side of the building and crouched there with his hands on his head. Why was this so difficult? He was a playboy. He wasn't supposed to get emotionally involved like this. Everyone acted like he would leave Ichigo at any time, and while he didn't intend to do that because he was having fun with him, he hadn't thought it went any deeper. A fun time was all he was looking for, but what had he found instead?
"Hey, man, you okay?"
Grimmjow looked up to see a man in a suit standing near him. He hadn't even heard him come up. He swallowed and tried to smile. "Yeah, I'm good."
The man looked at him. "You don't look all that good. Someone in here that you're close to?"
Standing up slowly, Grimmjow nodded. "Someone I'm trying to figure out what I feel about."
"Considering you're out here like this, I'd say you feel pretty strongly for 'em. Otherwise you wouldn't be so worried looking," he said as he leaned back against the wall beside him. He was a rather plain looking man otherwise, just wearing a plain grey suit with business cut brown hair and dark eyes.
"I guess so," Grimmjow said. "I'm just sorting out things, y'know?"
"Seems to me, you already got it all sorted by the look."
Grimmjow looked over at him sharply and nodded slowly. "Yeah, you're right. I have." He took off toward the door, pausing to turn back. "Thanks, man," he said as he disappeared inside.
He made his way back to Ichigo's room, waving at the nurses as he passed them again. He had his answer. And he knew it all this time. It just was hard for him to admit it. But he could do it. He could tell him the truth, about how he felt. He went in and pulled the seat up to the left side so he could take Ichigo's hand in his.
"Look, I don't know if you can hear me, but I gotta tell ya something. And it's important, so you gotta listen to me." He didn't notice that one of the nurses had stepped into the room. She waited, hand to her own chest. "See, when this all started, it was just for fun. Having a good time, doing stuff with someone I'd never done. Then something happened, and I changed a little bit. I didn't notice it, really, because it was so small at first. But then it got to where my head was filled up with you and thoughts of what we were going to do together. I tried to tell myself it was because I'd never had a steady partner before, and it was nice not going from girl to girl. But that was just a lie I was tellin' myself." He paused to pick up Ichigo's hand and kiss the back of it. "You did something to me no one else could. You made me feel ways I'd never felt before and ways I never knew I could feel."
He chewed on his bottom lip for a second, holding his breath for a moment. "But the most scared in my life was when I looked over in that car and you weren't moving. I was, am, terrified. I think I got it all figured out now. At least, I hope I do. I don't know how you feel, so I just gotta hope you feel the same way as I do." He reached up to put his hand on Ichigo's forehead. "So, I need you to wake up so I can tell you something really important."
The nurse at the door, Kerry, almost had tears in her eyes watching it. She would have done anything to have seen him wake up right then. But, of course, he didn't. The blue-haired boy just sat there and held his hand. She quietly went about taking his vitals for the chart and didn't say anything at all. What was there to say?
Grimmjow clutched Ichigo's hand and laid his head down on his arm. He was emotionally drained and he was almost to the point of exhaustion, really. His back hurt, and his neck was still stiff. He didn't know how long he could keep up staying in the room like this with him.
He was half asleep when Ichigo's hand twitched in his. He blinked, at first not knowing what woke him up. He sat up, hand still lying in Ichigo's, and then it happened again. His fingers flexed against him.
"Ichigo!" he gasped, leaning up to brush his hand over his head. "Please, wake up?"
His eyes fluttered for a second and then his hand clenched Grimmjow's tightly. Grimmjow's stomach was in knots already. He waited for what felt like forever until Ichigo's eyes finally fluttered again, opening a little and closing again once or twice before his head turned toward Grimmjow's hand where it rested on his head.
"Gr-Grimm?" he whispered, eyes finally opening and blinking rapidly.