A/N: LOWER YOUR EXPECTATIONS NOW. Ok, some of you sounded really excited for this chapter, I think I overdid the cliff-hanger, lol. So I went back and re-edited this again hoping that it would meet your excitement. Please forgive me if it disappoints!
Anyway, possible spoilers warning in regards to Tobi!
Thank you to The Phantom Dragon for ideas.
The fic within this fic is rather short as I'm focusing more on the fic outside the fic which is my overall fic. Get it? Muahaha, wrap your brain around it.
I do not own Naruto.
Deidara sighed too, before noticing something. "Uh, why is my butt feeling wet?"
"Did you not do potty training brat?"
"I MEANT THAT THE FLOOR IS WET DANNA, UN!"
Everyone else looked and realised that there was indeed a layer of water on the floor, and it seemed to be rising slowly.
Somehow, something made them all look at Kisame at the same time and he gave them a sharky grin before BOOM! The door of Itachi's room blasted open and huge waves of water flooded in, making everyone splutter and paddle to the large, now floating desk in the middle of the room.
"KISAME?!" Pein roared.
Itachi had managed to save the scroll and was also sitting on the middle of the desk, looking at the waters swirling around them. He glared at the blue man who was still in the water.
Konan took the scroll from him and was about to roll it up when the words on the scroll refreshed.
Last Thoughts
What was going through Uchiha Obito's mind as the rocks fell upon him? A birthday special for someone who was a great friend and a good man but fell into darkness.
"Tobi didn't hear Konan-san properly over the roaring of the water! Whose name did you mention?"
"I don't know who he is, but the name is a certain Uchiha Obito."
Tobi didn't respond.
-end recap-
"Who's Obito? A relative of yours, Itachi?" asked Sasori.
"I have heard of him. His name is on the war memorial in Konoha. He died in the Third Great Shinobi War."
"Then why are we fucking reading about him?!"
"I don't know but I DON'T THINK WE SHOULD BE READING NOW, UN! OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT?!"
Dozens of snapping fish jumped out of the water and attempted to take bites out of the Akatsuki members' limbs, which were dangling off the desk.
Hidan yelped and raised his leg off the edge as one came dangerously close. "ARE THOSE FUCKING PIRANHAS?!"
"Yeah, they are a pretty rare species," replied Kisame nonchalantly and rather proudly. He was now standing on the water.
"WHY ARE THEY FUCKING LOOSE?!"
"Well, I decided to flood the place to teach you guys a lesson."
"FOR?"
"What do you think?" Kisame's voice was laden with sarcasm. "For calling me a fish! But I guess the water pressure might have been too high so it cracked all of my aquariums."
"Well now my joints are wet too," Sasori said in a dangerous tone.
"Kisame, I command you to stop this flood right now and remove all these sea creatures!"
"I can't, Leader-sama. The creatures must be hand-caught because no jutsus work on them."
"THEN START CATCHING THEM!" Pein snapped.
"Ok, ok." Kisame dove back into the water and disappeared into the depths of what was once Itachi's room.
"Well, uh, since we have nothing to do except wait, why not read more about this Uchiha Obito?" Konan tried to lighten the mood.
"But Tobi doesn't want to read about someone he doesn't know!"
"Well, it's always good to read about new people. For all we know, it could contain intel about some powerful shinobi that he actually once knew!"
"Yes. I heard that he was a student of the Fourth Hokage and was on the same team as Hatake Kakashi and Nohara Rin," Itachi said.
"See Tobi?"
"But but…"
"But nothing! It's just a story!"
"Yes but…"
"Is there any other reason why you wouldn't want us to read it Tobi, un?"
"Well, no…but…"
"Then it's fine!" Konan tried to get a better grip on the scroll while huddling on a corner of the desk, avoiding the jumping man-eating fish.
As the boulders and rocks came crashing down, Obito wondered...
He wondered how life could have been had he been braver. Had he confessed to Rin-
"Tobi doesn't know who Rin is!"
"We all don't know who Rin is either, un! Shut up Tobiiieee!" Deidara was startled by one of the piranhas jumping onto his sleeve and refusing to let go. He shook his cloak vigorously and the fish was sent flying smack into Konan's face.
"Ow?" Konan grabbed the fish by its tail and tossed it back into the water. She glared at Deidara who mumbled a sorry.
"Tobi still doesn't want to read about unknown people!"
Zetsu picked up the scroll that Konan had dropped on the desk and said that he would read it, shooting Tobi a secret knowing look and nod. Tobi stopped protesting the reading of the story and calmed down.
Had he confessed to Rin, would anything have come out of it? He knew she had a crush on Kakashi and not him. Kakashi…he wished he had been able to be friends with Kakashi.
Minato-sensei had told him about Kakashi's past with his father. Obito supposed he could understand what Kakashi had gone through. How it felt when one of your heroes turned out to be a disgrace in the village's eyes. How it felt when his own father let him down and abandoned him. He really did feel bad for Kakashi and wanted to do something for him
It was unfortunate that the only thing Obito could give him was one of his Sharingan. The Sharingan that he had only just activated mere moments ago because he wanted to save his friends so badly.
He would miss them so much. A tear ran down the right crushed side of his face.
The pain had stopped, it was mere numbness now.
He remembered how he was always late for gatherings because he had stopped to help others in need. He wasn't bragging or trying to give an excuse; he really didn't mean to be late on purpose. Kakashi was so mean to him sometimes.
He smiled slightly to himself at the thought of the friend and teammate that he had only just become closer to. So stubborn. They were similar in that respect. Luckily Minato-sensei and Rin had often mediated their silly fights…
"HEY! I think Kisame has gotten the last of those piranhas! Finally! I need to fucking go!" Hidan jumped off the desk, using his chakra to stay afloat.
Suddenly swarms of tiny fish stuck to his feet and he freaked out. He kicked around wildly and a stray kick hit Kakuzu in the face, making him lose his balance and fall into the water where more swarms of tiny fish darted to him.
"What the fuck are these, Kisame?!"
Kisame's head popped out of the water. "Hey! I didn't say it was clear! Those are doctor fish!"
"Aren't doctor fish used in spas because they eat dead skin or something?" asked Konan.
"Yes, but these are genetically modified. I crossbred them with leeches!" He grinned.
"WHAT ARE YOU? OROCHIMARU?! GET THESE THINGS AWAY FROM ME!" Kakuzu shouted and tried to get back on the desk, but the weight of the water along with the fish-leeches stuck onto his exposed skin were making it difficult.
Hidan gave a shout of pain as a sharp jab made his index finger swell up and throb. He lifted up his right hand to see a swollen fish-leech sucking away happily. "ARGH! KISAME GET THEM THE FUCK OFF OF ME!" He shook his hand vigorously but the thing just held on cheerily, refusing to let go.
"Alright. Alright. Water Release: Great Exploding Water Colliding Wave!"
FWOOSH! Powerful blasts of water sent Hidan and Kakuzu flying into the wall at the other end of the room.
"Ouch! What the hell are you doing?!" Hidan groaned in pain.
"Getting the fish off of you! It worked!"
Both of them realised that they couldn't move, for the force of the water had embedded them into the wall. Using their strength, they broke free and left Kakuzu and Hidan-shaped holes.
Kakuzu glared at the wall then at Kisame. Did he have any idea how much repairing the damage would cost them?!
"Jashin damn it! You said you didn't like being related to fish? Then what's with all these damn creatures?!"
"Hobbies and interests shouldn't define me! Anyway, you guys better get back on the desk before they start swarming again. I'm going back in!" Kisame's head disappeared as he dipped back into the water again.
He could feel the ground tremble beneath him as the quake continued. Knowing his end was near, all of his friends and loved ones flashed through his mind.
Minato-sensei, Kakashi, Rin, Otouu-san, Okaa-san and the entire Uchiha clan. Even the hot-blooded Might Gai who constantly preached about youth, and all the other fellow genin.
"I hate to interrupt, but we might have a little situation," Kisame's voice broke into the story.
"What is it?" asked Pein.
"Well, I've handled the piranhas, the doctor fish/leeches, even the sharks. Don't ask," he said in response to some of the members' questioning looks.
"The jellyfish are little hard to catch by hand though. This particular species is extremely dangerous. One sting and bye-bye! So it might take a while."
"Jellyfish?!" This time everyone tried to avoid the edges of the desk in case they fell in.
"Yes, but don't worry! I heard that they won't sting you, if you pour WHALE URINE on yourself!" Kisame said with a beam.
The others just stared mutely at him, waiting for him to take the hint from their emotionless/murderous expressions.
He continued to talk, as if in his own world. "But I don't have any whale urine…hmm… Ah! I heard that the sperm of a Beluga Whale repels them too! I think I have some!"
There was a short silence before, "I'd rather get stung," Hidan said with a disgusted look on his face.
"Not only will it repel the jellyfish, it will also repel human beings. And I can't eat them, if they won't come within a mile of me. Us! Whatever!"
"I think the main question is, why do you possess the sperm of a Beluga Whale?" Sasori asked, staring at Kisame suspiciously.
"I trade a lot. Don't question my hobbies, I don't question yours!"
"Actually you do bug me often about my art."
"Whatever. Well, back to catching! Are you sure you guys don't want any whale sperm?"
"NO! (UN)"
"Well fine! Your loss!"
Zetsu noticed Tobi whispering something to Konan who was nodding, but didn't think much of it.
He whispered a soft "I'll be seeing the world through your eyes now, Kakashi." With a smile, he felt the ground beneath him crack and crumble. He fell a long way down and then landed painfully. Darkness encroached upon him…
"Well that's the end!" White Zetsu declared happily.
"Wait! There's still text!" Hidan snatched the scroll from Zetsu before he could react and continued reading.
He heard a sound. Was he in heaven or hell already? He opened his right eye, which was miraculously unharmed, although he still could not feel the right side of his body. An elderly man stood before him, with…purple ringed eyes? Before he could think of anything else, the darkness enveloped him and he fell unconscious…
"Now THAT'S the fucking end. You must be going blind Zetsu."
"Yes… I must be…" Zetsu said through gritted teeth.
"Tobi thinks that Hidan should not have snatched it from Zetsu!" Hidan could not see it, but Tobi's Sharingan was activated and he was extremely angry.
"Oh shut up good boy. If I hadn't, then we would have missed that last bit. And who the hell was that old man? Purple ringed eyes? Who has purple ringe-" Hidan paused in the middle of his sentence and looked at Pein, who stared back at him with his own purple ringed eyes.
"Was it you?" He asked Pein brashly.
"No, the story said an elderly man. And Uchiha Obito's time was during the Third Shinobi War. I would have only been a child. It couldn't have been me. And you will address me properly."
"Whatever."
Tobi calmed down a little, realising that no one had any idea of who the elderly man or Uchiha Obito was.
"But…does this mean that Uchiha Obito could actually be alive, un?" asked Deidara.
Tobi tensed up again.
"Pfft, from how Tobi reacted to the story, you would have thought that he might know something," Hidan commented.
Itachi looked at Tobi with an unreadable expression. 'Does he know something?'
"Huh? Tobi doesn't know anything! Tobi is a good boy!"
"Now that sounds like denial," said Sasori.
"No it doesn't!" Tobi protested.
"Do you know anything about Uchiha Obito, Tobi?" asked Konan.
"No! Tobi doesn't know who he is!"
As the members' stares continued to pierce him, Tobi cracked, "WAH! Tobi is sorry! Tobi is a good boy! Tobi will tell the truth!"
The members all waited expectantly for his answer.
"Tobi knows that Uchiha Obito belongs to Itachi's clan!"
"We already fucking know that!"
"Tobi also knows that Uchiha Obito fought in the Third Shinobi War!"
"We also fucking know that already!"
"And, and, Tobi also knows that Uchiha Obito gave one of his Sharingan to Hatake Kakashi!"
"AND AND, Hidan also knows that we just wasted five fucking minutes of our lives trying to speak to a fucking idiot! Hidan wishes that he could sacrifice Tobi to Jashin-sama!"
Tobi fell into a quiet whimper, "But Tobi only told the truth. Tobi is a good boy!"
A sudden loud cracking sounded and they all looked downward to see the desk splintering.
"AGH!" All of them fell into the water as the wood gave way.
"OHMYGOD HELP ME! DANNA, UN!"
"AHHHH! FUCKING JELLYFISH! I WILL SACRIFICE YOU TO JASHIN-SAMA!" Hidan kept slashing at the water around him with his scythe causing the others to move as quickly as possible away from the reach of his wild swinging.
"TOBI IS DROWNING! TOBI DOESN'T WANT TO BE STUNG BY JELLYFISH! TOBI IS A GOOD BOY! SENPAI HELP ME! ZETSU-SAN!"
"If you guys would just stand up, you will realise that the water is only up to your knees," Kisame's voice interrupted their girly shrieks.
Deidara, Hidan and Tobi paused in their floundering and noticed the others all standing around calmly watching them.
"Oh."
"Well, I've already cleared the creatures! Bye now!" Kisame rushed to the door.
"Hold it right there." Kisame froze at the stern voice of Pein and turned back towards his leader slowly.
"You will assist in cleaning and repairing EVERY. SINGLE. DAMAGE. That your flood has caused. Kakuzu will inform you of the expenses. You will also be in charge of getting the money necessary for the repairs."
"But… But..."
"You may also have as many of the rest as you want to help you in the menial labour." The others groaned and Kisame shrunk back a little from their glares.
"Now get to work."
"The scroll… It's wet…" Konan's soft voice sounded.
True enough, Konan was holding up a sopping wet scroll, water still dripping off its handles.
"Will it still work?"
"I don't know…oh!"
Slightly smeared ink-like words started surfacing.
Saint Valentine
A little cupid is going around spreading love within the Akatsuki! AND he's trying to recruit too? Talk about creating havoc on the little guy's first day...
"This reminds me! We need to do a Secret Valentines!"
The wet and straggly Akatsuki stared at the bluenette.
-end chapter-
A/N: Tobi's identity will be revealed. But not so soon. Enjoy his good boy mania meanwhile!
Sorry about relating Kisame to even more fish. Couldn't help it, he and everything water-related just seem so good together! :P
Many thanks to riptocs, eclipsed flower and nemaara for beta help!
By the way, the latest manga chapter was quite a laugh wasn't it? Wasn't it? Hokages FTW!
Response to previous reviews:
The Phantom Dragon: I kinda guessed that it was you. XD Huh, I never thought about it. Sounds just like the crackfic that I've been racking my brains for! Yay you! Recorded for a future chapter. Now I really have to go watch a HTF cartoon. D:
xBUzzOFF15x: I see that you had expectations; well I hope you were at least mildly satisfied!
Daffodil Moon: *cackles* Who did you want that someone to be?
BLOWBITO UCHIHAHAHA: It's okay, a late review is better than never! I'll try my best to keep them in character as much as possible, and don't worry, I don't bash characters!