"Why aren't we apparating, again?" Ron asked for countless time, as he shot a look towards Malfoy (who incidentally was under a rather small umbrella with Hermione). Ron himself was snuggled under a very large umbrella with his sister. The question was irrelevant, seeing as how everyone else in the group, Ron included, knew the reason why they couldn't travel like wizards. Because of that man.
It just didn't seem right, in Ron's opinion -Hermione and Draco. He was a slimy git who had once enlarged Hermione's teeth in comparison to a beaver! How could she ever think this...this...squib was good enough for her? Ron instantly grimaced -his thoughts betrayed everything he once stood for. Harry wouldn't have been proud of that one. But Malfoy was a squib -his powers weren't his own! Everyone knew Lucius was just using his only son. But, no. Here Ron had to walk down a road in the rain because Hermione was afraid to use Malfoy's powers any more than she had to. Theprickwas the center of the universe, and Ron was a simple, distant meteor. He could never compare to the deity named Draco Malfoy. He bundled tighter in his coat and muttered incomprehensible words.
No one answered Ron's question.
They walked in silence for a while, before Ron piped up again. "I mean, he does have his powers back. Why not just--"
"Put a sock in it, Ronald," Ginny interrupted, "We don't mind walking. And besides, you could use the exercise." She patted Ron's slight gut, pointing out the butter-beer belly Ron had acquired over the years. Ron compared his own stomach to Malfoy's, and realized once again he would come up short. Was there not one flaw on that prat's sculpted body?
"I agree with Weasley," Draco said after a moment of hesitation, "I think we should just--"
"Absolutely not!" Hermione didn't quite yell, but it came out rather loud. "I..." Her voice was softer. "We don't know what kind of magic you have, Draco. And until we do some more testing we shouldn't strain it more than we need--"
"Its my own bloody magic!" Draco stopped, allowing Hermione to travel on with the umbrella. Rain began to fall atop his pale face. "I think I would know my own magic. Its mine. I can tell. I feel the same way I did when we were in school. You don't have to treat me like I'm a ticking time bomb!"
"As of right now, you are. You hinder us more than help us." Hermione jutted her chin in the air as she spun to face him. "We don't know what you're capable of, and we don't know if you're fully in control. Draco, I'm going to ask you this nicely. Please don't use any more magic from this point on."
Draco was caught off guard. He knew that he wasn't allowed to use his powers for travel, but now to not use them at all? He could feel the magic tingle at his fingertips, as if in protest to Hermione's words. And in all honesty, he agreed with the magic.
"And just who are you to tell me what to do?" Draco spat out. "You're not my mother, Granger. You're not my fucking family. None of you are!" He shot a look at all of them before resting back on Hermione. "So why do you get to dictate how to run my fucking life? I want to be able to do the things I want to do. Not what everyone tells me. Especially not from you." His glare was unwelcoming. "Hermione, don't make me lower than you to make you feel safe again. You would rather take care of a squib than be with a real wizard, is that it?" The rain had now all but soaked his hair and jacket.
"Draco, you know that's not--"
"Then what is it?" Draco ignored the gapped mouths of the Weasleys. His voice became sincere. "I... I can't think of any way to make you happy. If I'm a squib, I can't protect us. If I'm a wizard I could put us in danger. What do you want of me?"
Hermione's face was a mix of emotions, before all was drained out of her eyes. There was barely a hint of kindness as she said, "You safe, Draco. And if that means you being a squib for the rest of your life, then I would take it. -I'm not going to repeat myself, but I will say this --using your powers is what Lucius wants. He's not your friend, and he's not your father. He gave you your powers back to fulfil his own selfish needs, and nothing more. Do you not think after he gave you what you want, he wouldn't just take your powers away again and kill us all? We're too much of a threat to him. You're too much of a risk.- Neville told me about... the Malfoy Mark. It consumes its host. If you give in now, we'll lose you forever." She offered her hand out to him. "Choose us, Draco."
Draco looked at her hand a moment, glanced at the two gawking Weasleys, and then breezed past Hermione with a cool attitude. "I'll choose what I choose." He did not let her offer the umbrella to him. He took the lead and did not look back.
Damn it all. Hermione was getting to him. The Mark called to him, and the tingling in his fingertips dod not cease. "I just want it all to..." He muttered, but could not finish. He didn't want to.
To end? Was that really what he wanted? To not feel what he felt anymore? To let the darkness of death consume him? To let the ache of his heart and the pain in his hand come to an abrupt halt forever? There would be no more running... no more hopeless tries to gain Hermione's trust. No more Lucius...
Lucius.
That was a reason to live.
For his death.
Without Lucius, Draco would have his lover and his pride. Powers or no, Draco couldn't live without paying a debt to dear Daddy. If there was no Lucius, there would be no reason for Hermione to be afraid anymore. Then she could finally be free and choose what she wanted.
And if she wanted Weasley in the end, and least Draco could die with knowing that she chose Weasley for him, and not for comfort. That she rejected Draco because she wanted to, and not because she was afraid of being with him.
When did I become so morbid? Draco wondered. Find Potter. Kill Lucius. Die with the knowledge that Hermione either loved him or was just using him. That would be the plan. Then he couldn't put Hermione in danger ever again. Damn my feelings for her.
"We're close," Ron called, "Malfoy, this way." Ron was just turning on to small road, umbrella over his head. But where was smaller Weasley? Draco darted his eyes to Hermione's umbrella, where she and Ginny were cuddled closely together. He suddenly regretted leaving the comfort of Hermione's side. It was a pleasant place, there...
"Hermione?"
"Hmm?"
"Are... are you fond of me?"
"Mmm... Yes, Draco. I'm very fond of you... go to sleep..."
"How fond are you... of me?"
Hermione's eyes popped open and stared up to meet blue, sincere ones. "What kind of question is that?"
"I just..." Draco searched her eyes for something. "Being here... with me... its nice, isn't it? Its nice just the two of us?"
"It makes screaming a lot less stressful," Hermione smiled, but it was not returned. Instead, a frown shadowed Draco's face.
"I like it when Weasley is on an assignment. When all of them are... when its just... the two of us." Draco could feel his ears burn, and was sure they took on a lovely shade of pink. "What I mean to say is... Do you ever wonder... if there could be... more? To us? Than just..." He couldn't finish, because he didn't know how to. Than just shag? Fuck? Fool around? Make love?
"Draco, Ron and I..."
"Are as fit for each other as a tea kettle and cozy, I know." Draco sat up on the bed, making it creak. He didn't look her in the face. Not now. " But... why do you do it then? Why do you come to me? If he's perfect for you then why don't you just stop fooling around behind his back?" Draco felt very out of character, and he most certainly didn't want anything he had just suggested. But the question had been burning in him for some time. "I'll admit, at first I was just physically attracted to you but sometimes--"
"Draco, we can't." Hermione leaned up and rested her head on his shoulder. "We just can't."
"Why not?" He sounded selfish.
"Because its not safe."
"But Weasley is."
"Ron is what I need."
"He may be what you need, but I'm what you want. If you can't admit it to yourself, then fine, but I know the truth. I lo--I care for you. More than that git." Draco shot up out of bed as if it were a block of ice, threw on his pajama pants and stormed out of the room without another word. When he shut the door his legs gave out and he settled on leaning on the door for support.
"I'm such an idiot." Draco grumbled to himself. "I should have just told her." He followed after the pack until they reached a gap between two buildings. Draco stared at Granger to Weasleys, wondering if they were going to continue when Hermione walked up to the gap and disappeared out of sight. Eyes wide, he watched as Weasley then Weasleyette also disappeared into the unknown. He followed suit and found himself on the doorstep of a large house. "So this is Grimmauld place," He said to himself in amazement. "The home of the Blacks."
"Yes." Hermione nodded. "I think all of the charms to keep strangers at bay are gone by now," She said, "But just in case," She drew her wand. "Lets go." She turned the handle and pushed.
The musky smell was very overpowering, and Draco nearly gagged at just the scent. But even that was nothing compared to the dark room. Paint peeling from the walls and thick layers of dust over the furniture were just a few of the things left much to be desired. "The place really has gone down hill," Hermione admitted. "I wonder if the painting of Mrs. Black is still here...?" The fact that there was no noise did not ease Hermione's heart. "Hello?"
Echo.
Nothing.
Draco could see the sadness falling on Hermione's face, so he took her hand to ease her pain. "I'm sure we'll find something." He said, though he knew that their hopes were dim. But why let her know that?
"Last time we were here," Ron said to know one in particular, "Kreacher was cooking us food."
"I wonder what ever happened to him," Hermione said thoughtfully. "He was a fun house-elf."
"He was a right git, Hermione!" Ron sounded disgusted. "He was always stealing our things and blaming things on us when we didn't do it, and --"
"I know Ron. But he did take a kind heart to Harry." She shot him a disapproving look. "Surely he couldn't still be here?"
"Don't get your hopes up," Draco chimed in. "A house-elf left alone... well... I actually don't know how they'd act. Never mind, Hermione." He gripped her hand tighter. Her hand was cold in comparison to his, and he loved it. Cold hands, warm---
"If Kreacher were still here," Ginny said quietly, "Then why would the house look like this?"
"Its always looked like this," Ron replied cheerfully. Being back at a familiar place was comforting to him. "Maybe there is some hope... Kreacher! Come out, come out, wherever you are!"
"Ron." Hermione tapped her foot restlessly. "That's not going to help. Please try to contain yourself. I think --"
"Who's there!" A voice called out from the top of the staircase. It was not a voice that sounded relieved to have visitors. Had the house been taken over by someone else in their absence? But the silhouette at the top of the staircase suddenly took on the shape of a familiar and alarming figure that put a jump in the group's hearts. "I said--!"
"Its us, Kreacher!" Hermione, relieved, put her wand up as a token of greeting. "Hermione Granger and Ronald Weasley. -We were--"
"--Friends of Kreacher's Master!" Kreacher hobbled down the staircase, limping. "Good to see you!" He then searched the faces of the others. "A Malfoy? And another Weasley?"
"How did he know?" Draco asked, amazed.
"Kreacher always know a Malfoy when Kreacher sees them." Kreacher narrowed his eyes at Draco. "Blonde hair and smug attitude, beggin' your pardon, sir." The apology sounded a bit forced. "And as for Weasleys... They're always gingers, and always thin." He bowed, and Draco was not sure whether it was a form of greeting or if it was mocking. "What brings friends of Kreacher's Master here?" Kreacher turned his head towards Hermione.
Hermione's voice went up an octave. "We're looking for Harry... have you seen him?"
All eyes focused on the elf.
"Of course Kreacher have!" Kreacher growled. "Master came here just last week with food for Kreacher to cook!" He sounded rather pleased. Then, with a smug tone, added, "Kreacher would have thought friends of Master would have known that."
"Well, see..." Hermione started, "The truth is, Kreacher, we haven't seen Harry in quite some time. -No one has. Do you know where he was going?" The elated joy in her voice was not to be missed. They had found signs of him the first place they went! It was a sign!
"Kreacher does not meddle in my Master's personal business... is not a house elf's duty!"
"You never cared before!" Ron spat out, and instantly wished he could swallow his words.
"But Kreacher did hear Master say something about visiting an old friend." Kreacher continued, without missing a beat from Ron's outburst. "Up north. A... Harold? No... Hargle? No..."
"Hagrid?" Hermione bubbled with emotion.
"That's the one!" Kreacher nodded. "Said he had something to give him..."
"How long has Potter been living here?" Draco asked, wanting to get as much information out of the unassuming elf as possible.
"Not long. Kreacher guesses three weeks, at the most." Kreacher gestured towards the kitchen. "Would Master's friends like something to eat?"
"We'd love to!" Draco burst out, before anyone could interject. This was his window of opportunity, and he wasn't going to miss it. "I'm famished, aren't all of you?" He looked around to the lot, but none looked enthusiastic. Kreacher's cooking was not known for being its best -and besides, now they had a link to Harry! But Draco knew that Potter would probably not leave the oaf for a time -two to three days at the least, and felt much more at ease to catch up on information. Now was not the time to act -now was the time to plan.