The Pain of Making Amends

"Chara?"

I turn to Asriel, standing in the front yard. He walks up to me, holding a camera. He smiles softly, "Look at this cool thing Sans gave me.. You can record stuff with it.."

I smile lightly, "That's cool, Asriel.."

He puts the camera over his face, "Hey, do a creepy face!"

I shake my head and then I make the creepiest face I can think of. Asriel yelps softly then laughs. He checks the camera then groans, "I had the lens cap on! It don't know if it recorded!"

"Well, I'm not doing it again." I cross my arms, smirking lightly.

Asriel laughs, "What? Quit tricking me."

I shake my head, "Stop trying to cheer me up.."

He lowers the camera to his side and he looks sad, "Chara.. No one's mad at you."

"I'm mad at me," I sigh, sitting in the roses, "He was really sick and it's my fault."

"But he's all better now," Asriel kneels beside me, "Chara, he's even wore that sweater you made for him every day since he got better to show you he doesn't blame you. He's still wearing that sweater today. He hung that drawing you made on his wall, too.. You don't need to blame yourself, no one is mad at you. If they were mad at you, they'd be mad at me, too, and they're not. Stop beating yourself up over this."

I look down, picking at rose petals, "I'm not the best person, I know that.. I'm kind of rude, and sometimes I'm inconsiderate to your feelings.. I'm human, and this is how humans are. But I want to do something good with my life."

I look at him, "Do you know why I climbed Mt. Ebott, Asriel? I was going to kill myself, because humans are mean."

"Chara.." he says softly, tears in his eyes.

"Are you happy down here, Asriel? You saw the surface once, right? Did you like it there? Don't you want to see it again?" I look away, closing my eyes, "Humanity is broken and afraid of things they don't understand. I'm no exception. You monsters are too kind, too vulnerable to live among humans."

I open my eyes and look at him again, "What do you think will happen if the barrier is broken? Do you think humans will welcome you all back with open arms? No, they won't. So, something has to be done about that.. You never deserved to be imprisoned here, you don't deserve to live in fear because the humans fear you."

Asriel frowns lightly, "Why are you saying all this?"

"I want to free you all, but.. I'm going to need help. Dr. Gaster told me only seven human souls brought together can break the barrier, and to even leave, a human soul and a strong monster soul have to pass through together. We're going to break the barrier, Asriel. You and me, together." I explain, taking his hands, "Don't you want to be free?"

Asriel looks nervous, "Of course, but.. Isn't this dangerous..? How are we even going to break the barrier?"

"You and I will share my soul, that'll get us through the barrier, and then we're going to have to take six human souls." my grip on his hands tighten as I start shaking, "We only need six, and then we can shatter the barrier forever."

"Chara.. I don't know.." he looks down, "That's really dangerous.. How are we even going to share a soul? And.. Killing humans just to break the barrier.. Won't that just make the humans hate us more?"

"You have to trust me, Asriel. I'll make sure you don't get hurt. We'll free the monsters and everything will be all right. The seven souls we need, I.. I want you to absorb them all once the barrier is broken. It'll make you strong enough to protect your people."

"Wait, absorb them all?" he gasps, looking back at me, "What'll happen to you then?"

"I'll stay with you," I reply, "We'll protect them together."

He nods, a determined look in his eyes, "Together. I trust you."

I smile softly and he clears his throat, "So, um.. How are we going to share your soul?"

"You remember the flowers that got Dad sick?" I ask.

He nods, "Yeah, though I should have laughed it off, like you did. What about them..?"

I shake my head, "Turn the camera off, first."

He picks the camera up and shuts it off then looks back at me expectantly. I sigh and stand slowly, "Take me to them."

"Chara.." his eyes widen and he stands, "We promised Dad we wouldn't go near them again."

"That's why you're not going to tell Mom and Dad why I'm about to get sick." I say.

His eyes widen a little more and he looks horrified. He shakes his head, "Chara, don't.."

"It's the only way you can get my soul." I state.

"You could die!" tears fill Asriel's eyes.

I wrap my arms around him, "You have to trust me, Asriel. Everything will be all right. You have to promise not to tell Mom and Dad why I'm sick. Can you do that?"

He shakes, tears running down his face as he nods, "I-I promise, Chara.. I.. I'll trust you.. No matter what.."

I smile, wiping away his tears, with tears of my own filling my eyes. I kiss his forehead, "you're such a crybaby, Asriel.. And I wouldn't have it any other way.."

He hug me tightly, "Chara.."

"No sappy goodbyes, Asriel." I step back, "I'm not going anywhere. Now, those flowers?"

He takes my hand and silently leads me to the garden of dark yellow flowers behind the castle. The Buttercup flowers.I take a deep breath and walk into the garden. Asriel stands just outside it, looking like I kicked his puppy. I kneel down and rip a handful out of the ground. It's kind of funny how sweet these deadly flowers smell. I stand slowly and turn to Asriel, smiling softly, "Trust me. We'll be the saviors of the monster race."

He nods, crying again, "Promise."

I look down at the flowers in my hands and I take a deep breath. This isn't going to be pleasant, for any of us. And I have to keep how and why I poisoned myself a secret from my parents. All the pain will be worth it once everyone trapped down here can feel the warmth of the sun again. I start biting the flowers off their stems, chewing them up, and swallowing them. I eat the entire handful of yellow flowers, then grab another handful and eat those, too. I pick another handful and and before I can eat a single flower from that handful, I become dizzy and I fall face-first into the flower garden.