Pale-Eyed Freak III

"N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-Na-Na-Na-Naruto-k-k-k-kun," she sputtered, like Kira-Bi's backup beat-box.

Naruto stared at the blank-eyed girl.

If the eyes truly were the windows to the soul (as he'd often heard), he had to be looking at Casper the Freaking Ghost.

"Hey, Hinata-chan," he said brightly, rousing himself from his errant thoughts and holding up the stringer. "Do you want some fish? I caught way too many."

Taking one look at his piscatorial bounty, the former clan-heiress promptly fainted.

"That's funny; I figured she'd like walleye," Naruto shrugged, and strolled off to see what Ino was up to.

A.N.

Walleye are a type of fish that have a light-gathering layer in the eyes called the tapetum lucidum which allows the fish to see well in low-light conditions (and also causes their eyes -like those of cats- to reflect light, giving a milky appearance).

The term, 'walleyed' has come to refer to large, staring eyes, or eyes presenting little or no color (like those of the Hyuuga).

Q: What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A: Fsh.

A.N. II

Super secret bonus two-fer.

105. I Know Why the Caged Bird Stings

The Hyuuga Elder was explaining the situation to Hizashi.

Sometime during the night, the Kumo 'ambassador' had apparently tried to kidnap Hinata.

And Hiashi -who would come to regret his actions for the rest of his life- had reacted instantaneously, decades of intense jyuuken training reducing the interloper to a skin-wrapped bag of human smoothie in scant moments.

The ink was barely dry on the fragile new peace accord with Cloud; this incident could well be the spark that would engulf the Leaf in the flames of the 4th Great Shinobi Secret War.

Like it or not, a way must be found to appease their erstwhile enemy.

xxxxxxx

So what you're saying is," Hizashi slowly drawled. "You want me to sacrifice myself in Hiashi's place."

"That's about the size of it, yes." agreed the Elder.

"And then what?" Hizashi asked, truly perplexed. "To keep the Cloud from getting suspicious, he will have to take my name, and my place in the Branch House. So really, you'll be right back where you started from."

"Don't be ridiculous!" tittered the Elder, finding the mere thought absurd beyond measure. "Of course he will do no such thing. It's obvious that the Cloud are only after the Byakugan; and after they have returned to Kumo with your body, it will be too late for them to cry, Foul."

"Well, if that's the case," Hizashi suggested. "Wouldn't any body do? I don't want to point fingers or anything, but how about the guard who let the ambassador through the gate in the first place? Where the hell is that guy, anyway? It seems like he should be able to clear up a lot of this mess for us, and justify Hiashi's actions."

"Nobody's seen him," the Elder replied, quickly changing the subject. "I think he has the day off. In any case, Kumo demands Hiashi, not some random Who-ga. That's why we need to send you."

"Oh, right, right; the whole, long black hair, white eyes, angular features and identical white robes thing," Hizashi said, rolling his eyes. "Because after all, a bunch of foreigners who have never actually seen us in person will definitely be able to tell our corpses apart."

"Seriously," Hizashi continued, fixing the Elder with a glare. "This is all because I keep kicking his ass when we spar, isn't it?"

The other man gave an embarrassed, noncommittal shrug.

"Older brother or not, Mom always like me be-"

And then Hizashi's mind exploded in a world of white-hot pain.

"Looks like he took the news well," said Hiashi, still holding the hand seal for the Hyūga Sōke no Juinjutsu as he walked into the room and stared down at the writhing form of his identical twin. "Make sure his son understands that he died to protect the Main House, serving the honor of the Hyuuga Clan as was his duty. I don't need any of this coming back to bite me in the ass later."

A.N. III

Seriously, what the hell did killing Hizashi accomplish? That's the point I want to make here. Somebody please explain it to me.