Warning: This is a pretty heavy and depressing chapter...read with care.

Things will get better though! Eventually...I promise. If you stay with my story all the way to the end, I'm almost positve that you'll enjoy it. I've got some great things in mind for future chapters ;]

I would appreciate it if everyone would review this chapter, because I really want to know what's going through your heads at this particular point in the story.

Anyway, without further hesitation, the continuation...

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Chapter Eleven

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Although it was nearing dawn, Ryou found himself unable to sleep, his thoughts caught somewhere between a beautiful dream and an unforgiving reality. He had situated himself in the windowsill furthest from his bed, for in that particular place he had the best view of the dark sky that loomed above him like a heavy curtain of cosmic apathy. Paradoxically woven into its fabric were some of the most dazzling gems that one could possibly imagine, some of them appearing close enough to touch. Every one of these gems seemed to twinkle with ageless grace, and on the deepest of black canvases their intensity only increased. One after another they all seemed to reveal to him their omnipotent luster, reminding him that even in the shadows of the night he was never alone.

A single teardrop sprinted down Ryou's cheek, and he quickly brushed it away.

This entire experience is like an everlasting nightmare. He thought to himself, his gaze wandering all over the sky. On the horizon, Ryou could just make out a thin strip of deep navy laced with orange and fuchsia. As the seconds became minutes, these colors grew in size and number, quickly evolving into vibrant shades of red and gold. Before he knew it, Ryou began to see the depth of night recede as the promise of a new morning started to come forth.

Everything's going to change now, isn't it…that's how these things work. Ryou sniffled and curled his knees up underneath his chin, resting his face on top.

And to think, things were finally starting to look up for me. I had become comfortably situated in a school where I had proper friends; I had started to grow accustomed to life in a bustling city…I even had gotten the attention of a boy.

Ryou released a heavy breath and stared into the daybreak.

I really have gotten it all. Oh, but times of great joy are soon accompanied by times of great sorrow…

Ryou wrapped his arms around his legs and pulled himself into a tight ball.

I can only imagine the heartache that Seto's had to endure…or even my Uncle Nick. He's told me many stories of how difficult of a task it was for him to immigrate to the States from Russia and all the work he did to receive his doctorate degree in psychology. That alone must have been a ten year period of struggle…

Ryou closed his eyes.

I wonder how long my struggle will be. The doctor said it may take years, perhaps only months…I guess it all depends on whether or not I really have what they're thinking. Regardless, I doubt that the days will go by quickly for a long time now that I'm sick.

The corner of Ryou's lip curled up in an apprehensive manner.

It's funny how whacked your sense of time becomes when you're stricken with illness…only yesterday I was informed about my supposed condition, yet it feels like an eternity ago. On the other hand, its been all of five months now that I've known Seto, and that feels like just yesterday.

Ryou's eyes peeped open and he took another look into the Eastern sunrise.

Ah, Seto…without you, life would be all the more unbearable.

He took in a mournful breath and forcefully exhaled, the first beams of sunlight tickling his skin with their warmth.

I wish that you were here right now, Seto. To simply sit here, whisper sweet nothings into my ear, hold me close…and never let go.

Ryou's eyelids began to flutter, and his head came to rest on the wood trim behind him.

If only I could stayin your embrace until the end of days. Then I would truly have had it all…

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A few hours later, Michael peeked into his son's bedroom. A dozing Ryou was curled up in the windowsill, his head dropped back on the hard frame and his body still nestled as close to him as possible.

Michael took a few silent steps forward and gently touched his knee. He leaned closer and whispered, "Ryou,"

Ryou's eyes whipped open in surprise and shut just as fast, blinded by the full power of the risen sun.

Michael chuckled. "Didn't feel like sleeping in your bed?"

Ryou groaned stiffly and stretched, rubbing his eyelids forcefully. "I couldn't get to sleep. Guess I just…nodded off here."

Michael nodded. "There's something for you downstairs,"

Ryou blinked and cocked his head, unsure what Michael could possibly be talking about. He staggered to his feet and stumbled down the stairs, finding himself face to face with a massive arrangement of deeply colored roses.

His eyes doubled in size. "Oh my god!" He exclaimed, letting what he saw sink in. Sitting before him were about two dozen roses, half of them a strikingly intense shade of crimson and the other half the deep purple of royalty. Each bud was so profound in color that they hardly appeared to be a flower, but gave the impression that they were woven by the finest silk. All of them were sitting in a fine black vase which was crafted out of noble alabaster.

A small yet very real grin appeared on Ryou's face and he shook his head in disbelief. "Oh, these are gorgeous!" He whipped around and looked at Michael. "Who are they from?" He asked, already sure of the answer.

Michael pointed towards a small card next to the vase that Ryou hadn't noticed. "See for yourself. I haven't touched the envelope."

Reaching forward, Ryou grabbed the envelope and tore away the seal, pulling out a small cream colored card.

Engraved on its surface in fine gold calligraphy was a little note.

Ryou-

After all you've had to endure, I figured you deserved something as beautiful as you. I hope these bring a smile to your face, and I look forward to bringing you on our first date this evening.

-SK

Shapeless, warm emotions welled up in Ryou, Seto's short but heartfelt note bringing him a bit of comfort. Flipping the card over, he discovered more to be written.

Five o'clock

Dinner at Chez Jean

The petite smile that had been on Ryou's face quickly grew into a Cheshire cat-sized grin. He let out a slight squeal and buried his nose into the bouquet, inhaling deeply.

Michael laughed at the sight. "They're from Seto, aren't they?"

Ryou rubbed his cheek against one of the rosebuds, feeling its silk-like petals seem to kiss his skin. He held the vase steadily with his two hands and nodded into the flowers.

"Wow, these must have cost a fortune…they're stunning!" Michael commented, reaching out and touching a rose.

Ryou tilted his head to the side and faced Michael. Holding out the card he said, "Here, read it."

Michael took it from Ryou and began to read it. As he skimmed over the golden words, his eyes seemed to glaze with a thin layer of tears. He put his hand over his mouth, not quite concealing his own monstrous grin. "How incredibly thoughtful of him…"

"It's all so splendid…" Ryou released a content sigh. "…I don't even know what to say." He muttered onto a bud.

Michael stared at the card for another moment before setting it on the table. "Well, be sure to thank him at your dinner date tonight." He said.

His head still surrounded by roses, Ryou stared up at Michael. "How come you didn't wake me for school today? Was it canceled?"

Michael shifted in his stance. Folding his arms across his chest, he replied, "There was school, but I figured after all that happened yesterday…you needed a day off."

Taking a final breath of the extravagant roses, Ryou brought his head back up and stood upright. Giving Michael a grateful smirk, he responded, "Thank you."

Michael shook his head up and down, then turned around and picked up a nearby dust cloth and began wiping it over some furniture.

Ryou glanced down at his bouquet once more and sighed heavily. Pulling out a neighboring chair, he sank down into it. With his eyes attached to the black alabaster vase, he muttered, "These past few days have just been teeming with surprises, haven't they…" He reached out and lightly placed his fingers on the stone, the intense coldness of it rather striking to his touch.

Just barely hearing Ryou's words, Michael glanced over at him but kept on dusting.

This is so utterly cruel… Ryou thought. It's as though the worst and best possible things that could ever happen to me have collided in a single lapse of time…

Within seconds, Ryou's gaze shifted onto the floor, his once pleasant expression becoming shrouded in a veil of self-pity and gloom.

"Between my health condition and Seto's unexpected dinner plans, surprises have just been popping—"

Already having heard enough negative overtones from Ryou, Michael threw down the cloth, the sudden snap of the material on the wooden furniture silencing Ryou's voice and causing him to jump slightly.

Michael walked over to Ryou, leaning closer towards him. "Hey, Ryou, listen to me. Even though we got bad news yesterday, the results are inconclusive, remember? They have to do one more blood test to be absolutely certain that you really have what they're thinking." He breathed deeply and added, "Don't let yourself get too pessimistic."

Without as much as an upward glance, Ryou replied, "If that's the case, then why did you look so dead when you got off the phone with the doctors yesterday?"

Michael paused. "Because…what they said you probably have is the last thing I ever expected them to say."

A moment later, Ryou looked up at Michael. The two of them simply locked eyes in silence for a moment, then Michael spoke, "Just go and enjoy your time with Seto tonight, Ryou."

He reached out and placed his hand assuredly on Ryou's shoulder, patting it lightly before picking up the dirty dusting cloth and heading towards the kitchen.

Suddenly Ryou asked, "What if Seto asks about my test results?"

Michael stopped. Glancing over his shoulder at Ryou he replied, "Tell him the truth."

Ryou's gaze shimmered with anxiety, and all Michael could bring himself to do was give him a sympathetic smile.

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That evening, after dinner

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Seto grinned down at Ryou, holding the restaurant exit door open for him. Ryou glanced up and gave him a half smile, then walked out with Seto following right behind.

Ryou stopped just out of the way of the door. Turning to Seto, he said, "Thank you again for dinner and the roses, Seto. Both were wonderfully unexpected."

Seto nodded. "My pleasure."

Ryou looked down at his shoes and shifted in place. "You didn't have to do all this. That alabaster vase you sent the roses to me in alone must have cost you—"

Seto gently took hold of Ryou's chin and tilted it upwards so he could directly speak to him. "Nonsense." He stated. "I wanted to make you happy."

Ryou gazed into Seto's cerulean eyes and felt some of his fear melt away.

As long as he's by my side, I think I'll be able to survive whatever comes my way. Ryou thought to himself.

Seto let go of Ryou's chin and took a step back. Ryou glanced at Seto's hand, then back at his face. "Are we going anywhere else?" He asked.

Seto leaned towards Ryou. "Is there some place you would like to go?"

Ryou glanced around and spotted a pier not too far away. He pointed to it and suggested, "Why don't we take a short stroll over there? It's such a beautiful evening; it would almost be a sin not to."

Seto chuckled. "A sin?"

Ryou nodded quickly.

Seto shrugged. "Alright."

They turned simultaneously towards the pier, and Ryou brushed his fingers against the side of Seto's hand. Seto blinked and looked down, noticing what Ryou was trying to do. Relaxing his fingers, he opened his hand and took Ryou's into it. Combined with his silky skin, Ryou's delicate and almost feminine fingers felt nearly unrealistic, yet they brought so much comfort and balance into the rather rough and tough masculine hands of Seto's.

The air surrounding them was crisp and fresh off the Atlantic Ocean, and was lightly blowing around them in circles. The whole ambiance that began to build up in Ryou brought him a little more security, and he felt a bit less tense.

Just his touch makes me feel so much better…

Seto and Ryou were now halfway down the pier, getting closer to the edge that hung above a grand harbor.

"You weren't at school today." Seto said.

Ryou nervously bit his lip.

"Why was that?" Seto finished, gazing down at Ryou.

"Michael let me stay home today. He said I needed a day of rest."

Seto nodded and turned his head forward. As he looked into the distant sea, he witnessed the early evening sunlight dance across the waters in a brilliant array of colors. He stared at them for a few moments, and then his attention went back to Ryou.

"Did your test results come back?"

Ryou's ears tingled at the sound of that painful necessity of a question, and he remained silent. A few seconds later, he glanced up at Seto with a forced smile and said, "Wasn't today just gorgeous?"

"Ryou…"

He began to walk faster and pulled Seto with him, only to release his hand a moment later and leave Seto standing a few feet behind him. Ryou nimbly stepped onto the bottom rung of the metal guardrail and leaned forward onto the top one, distracting himself with the setting sun. "Just look at the colors! And to think it hasn't even touched the horizon yet. We're in for a fantastic sunset tonight!"

Seto took a few steps towards the rail and put both his hands onto Ryou's hips, pulling his body to rest against his chest. He nestled his face into Ryou's hair for a moment, breathing in his scent. Then Seto moved his chin onto Ryou's shoulder and whispered into his ear, "You're avoiding the question."

The heat from Seto's body surged over Ryou's, and he leaned himself closer to that warmth. His memory reminded him of Michael's words, and Ryou knew the inevitable was coming.

One of Seto's hands wandered up to Ryou's chest and pulled him even closer. Leaning in a bit further, Seto planted a long kiss on Ryou's cheek. He then rested his cheek against Ryou's and sighed.

"Seto," Ryou whispered. "The results don't look good…"

"What did they find?"

Seto slid the hand that was still on Ryou's hip around the front of his body to the other one, fully embracing him.

Although Ryou had thought telling Seto was going to be difficult, the more intimate they became the easier it seemed for him to state his true condition. He laid his hands to rest on top of Seto's, curling his fingers around what he could take hold of.

"They…they think I might have leukemia."

Seto's heart just about froze. "Leukemia?" He said, his thoughts beginning to scatter. "How…how could you possibly have that? You're so young…"

The tears that Ryou hoped he wouldn't need to shed started to well up in the corners of his eyes. He sniffled and said, "Apparently when they examined my tests there was an abnormally low amount of white blood cells and blood platelets in my system, along with some other problematic findings…"

"Like what? A low amount of white blood cells and platelets could be related to a number of things. How could they possibly pin it down to such a specific type of cancer—"

"Nearly all of the white blood cells they did find were immature, deformed, or laced by malnourished bone marrow." Ryou's hand quivered a little. "Then they told Michael that when they extracted a few of the worst ones for more precise testing, they came back positive for cancer."

Seto held Ryou a bit tighter. The emotional damn that had formed inside him was beginning to crack, and he could sense that pretty soon his thoughts would begin to shut down. He found himself drawing a blank of what to think or say, so he simply stayed close to Ryou.

Ryou inhaled a strained breath and continued, "Michael asked the doctor if sudden and unexplained bruising had any relationship to this type of cancer, and once he added that I had two black bruises just form out of nowhere on my arm…the doctor concluded that mysterious bruising is one of the first physical signs of leukemia."

Some words stringed together into a logical sentence in Seto's head, and he quickly spat out, "I should have taken you to the hospital the very first time that I noticed them."

The tears that Ryou had been fighting so hard to hold back finally escaped, and they tumbled down his cheeks in clusters.

"Don't blame yourself, Seto. It's not your fault at all."

An overwhelming sting of pain stabbed Seto in the heart, which made him hold Ryou only that much closer. "How could they possibly know all of this from just one test?"

"They don't know absolutely, which is why I have one more blood test tomorrow. Also, they're going to draw some bone marrow…" Ryou shuddered and turned his cheek enough so his lips could rest against Seto's face.

"It's still possible that you could not have cancer then." Seto added, feeling Ryou's cold tears brush against his skin.

Ryou lightly shook his head. "Well, they did say there was a slim chance…but that I shouldn't get my hopes up."

Seto tenderly pulled Ryou down from the railing. Instantly Ryou turned himself around in Seto's arms and buried his face into his shoulder. He was no longer able to fight back his tears, and so he let himself go against the soft fabric of Seto's shirt.

Wanting to give Ryou as much comfort as possible, Seto wrapped his arms completely around his convulsing frame and held him close, closing his eyes and placing his chin at the base of Ryou's neck.

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The atmosphere inside the dark office of Seto's grew so thick it could have been sliced with a knife, the dismal tone only supplemented by a thin veil of moonlight that trickled in through the windows.

Seto slammed his fist against the wall, feelings of rage coursing through his system. He breathed heavily, not having felt such a strong emotion since he first began taking his stabilizers. Mere seconds later he ripped a picture off the wall and chucked it with great force across the room, and it hit the ground with a satisfying crash.

Suddenly he found himself facing a mirror, and for the first time his vision caught his empty reflection.

Just look at yourself. You're internally decaying, but you're too dense to notice until you come to your breaking point.

Seto ran his fingers forcefully through his hair, his mind now teeming with depressed thoughts related to his harsh reality.

He sauntered over to his desk and whipped open a drawer. Staring up at him was the wretched needle filled to the brim with the wicked substance, and the more his eyes drank in its long forgotten appearance the more he desired the cocaine and the rush that was soon to follow.

This is my heaven…

As his fingers coiled around the body of it, pulses of intense cravings ran through his veins.

This is my hell.

He traced the needle's lustrous point along the scar on his arm, the amber colored liquid only beckoning to him all the more. A terrible aura of betrayal to Ryou and Dr. Teleshov exploded around him, and the two dramatic thoughts in his head crashed into one another.

I fucking can't do this…not to Ryou! He fought back against his own immoral urges and finally found the strength to let the needle go, dropping it back into the drawer. He slammed it shut and collapsed to the ground in tears.

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