WARNING:::! You will not enjoy this chapter, and I can promise you that I will cry whilst writing it, so I am sorry. The only silver lining is that I can promise you it has a happy ending, which will follow this shortly. If you can, listen to the song "Collect Call" by Metric throughout this, it gives me chills!

Chapter 12:

Sora's POV:

I had been in the hospital for three days. In that time, I was diagnosed with Post-traumatic stress disorder, came out to my parents about being gay, learned that Roxas and Axel planned to get married someday, and that I was a pathetically and hopelessly in love with a man who didn't reciprocate those feelings.

"Hey Sora. How are you doing?" I smiled at my brother, who amongst the dangerous red roses, a flower that so poetically was often associated with love, and imprisioned me in my misery, sat quietly holding a small glass of water, half empty.

"I'm okay." I smiled lightly, trying to hide the tightness in my chest. Something dark flashed across Roxas' face, but in an instant, it was gone.

"The doctors say you can come home tomarrow." I nodded my head. The doctors had actually said I could go home yesterday, but I insisted that I stay in the hospital. The mere thought of returning to the home of my most cherished memories was like cutting a knife through my chest.

Roxas and I continued to talk aimlessly about stupid things. Axel came in at one point, but he visibly tried to avoid having any contact with Roxas, in fear that it would spark some kind of suicidal attempt in me. But I had never really wanted to die. In fact, thinking back on that moment, I didn't really have any idea what was going on as the kitchen knife cut deep into my palms. I didn't slice any part of my body except my hands, my filthy, dirty hands.

At eight o'clock, the doctors asked Axel and Roxas to leave, visiting hours were over. They said their goodbyes and existed my room, leaving me utterly alone. The doctors gave me a sedative to help me fall asleep, and as the drugs mixed well with the blood pumping through my body, images danced behind my droopy lids.

It was night, and something pressed against me. I was uncomfortable. I tried to push it away, but it just pressed harder. The cold ground dug into my back, and suddenly a pain so sharp and clear burst through me and I could feel nothgin but that pain, think nothing but that pain, say nothing but that pain. And the scream erupted from my throat at such volume and velocity and power that it was impossible to control. I just kept screaming and screaming, not daring to stop. Because if I stop, then no one will find me. And I will feel this pain forever. But nobody comes, and eventually the pain subsides to a dull, thick ache throughout my body, leaving me weak and terrified.

"Goodnight my luxurious, young beauty." Something soft and sinister grazed against my cheek like ice. I shivered and stayed were I laid, shivering and cold. Waiting. But nobody came, not for a long, long time…

I woke up screaming my head off. I took a big gulp of air as the nurses rushed in. they fretted over me and asked what was wrong. I gripped my shoulders and shook my head.

"J-just a n-n-nightmare." I whispered fervently. Why did it keep coming back? Would I never beable to forget that horrible night that I had tried so hard to burry deep in my heart?

"It will happen, honey. These thigns take time." I stared at the nurse, and almost smiled at her stupidity. I looked her square in the eye, and whispered through gritted teeth and tears collecting at the corners of my eyes, "It has been almost four years since i was brutally raped by my boyfriend, in the middle of winter, at a park, in the middle of the night. After he had done what he wanted with me, he left me there, presumably to die. I waited there for hours, but it felt like years. Nobody came. I had to walk home by myself. And until just now, my parents didn't even know any of that had happened. Now if you are going to sit here, and tell me that 'these things take time' then tell my subconscious that it has been four fucking years, and that I have had enough!" I screamed at her, tears violently cascading down my cheeks. The nurse excused herself and left me alone again, when all I had wanted in the first place was for her to stay and tell me that everything would be okay.

Roxas' POV: (the previous day)

I was on my way to the hospital when I saw a familiar splash of silver hair blowing in the wind. A dark feeling unlike anything I had ever felt erupted in my chest, over powering me and clouding my vision in red. I pulled over and got out of my car. I walked up behind Him and grabbed him by the scruff of his neck, pulling him backwards into my fist.

"YOU FUCKING BITCH I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL FUCKING END YOU!" I screamed at the stop of my lungs. Riku's aquamarine eyes stared back at me with almost no emotion.

"Please, do just that." He said, a slight trickle of blood coming from his nose. It was that one plea that stopped me dead in my tracks.

"What the hell do you mean?" I loosened my grip on him slightly, but didn't dare let go.

"Please…" he said, his eyes welling with tears.

"Please kill me." I stared at him, eyes wide as he cried his eyes out. I gently set him on the ground and let him cry. I just watched as he held his face in his hands and his entire body shook with whatever grief was pouring out of him. When it seemed he had finished, I demanded an explanation.

"I-I never meant to hurt sora, only to protect him. I…I think I'm leaving soon." Riku got a far away look on his face, as if he could see into the future, but wasn't positive about what he saw.

"And I wanted to save him from being too Hurt." I glared at Riku with cold, dead eyes. I no longer cared about him.

"Well then I hope you never regret this Riku, because you sent my brother, sobbing, to cut up his palms and practically bleed to death in his bedroom. You caused him to be sent to the hospital for three days. He's leaving in two days. He hasn't truly smiled in the past four years unless you were around Riku. Now, I don't know if he will ever smile again. I hope you are fucking happy about what you have done." I left him like that, speechless and frightened in the park, just as a bitter cold rain began to fall.

I opened the door to my room. There was a new, sparkling white rug on the floor with not a single trace of blood. I smiled and sat down on my bed. I looked down at the mattress. I tried to remember how he had looked laying there, his shirt wrinkled and pulled up slightly around his torso to reveal his delectable naval. My heart clenched in my chest.

Suddenly my phone rang. I looked at the caller ID but the number was unidentified.

"Hi, this is Sora. May I help you?" I asked, voice detached.

"Are you the young man that fucked my son?" my eyes went wide and I gaped in silence. The voice on the other side of the phone was cold and menacing.

"Who is this?" I whispered viciously, an old feeling of burnt anger rising in my chest. If this was the man who I though it was, he was not going to get a warm welcome.

"This is a man who wants to rip out your fucking throat, faggot. Now if you wish to save your little boy-toy from becoming a star in the great sky above, I suggest you go to 166 Jakers road by 6:45, PM. Got it?" something clicked in my mind, and a fear unlike anything I had ever felt over came me, clouding my mind and thought process.

"Okay." I whispered feebly.

"That's a good boy. See you soon." I looked at the clock on my bed side table. It was 6:00. It took me a little less than twenty minutes to drive to Riku's house, but today I would have to run.

I grabbed my coat and raced down the stairs. I passed Roxas and Axel on my way out. They stared at me, confused.

"Hey, where are you headed?" I glanced at Roxas, panic struck me. What would I tell him?

"I'm just getting some fresh air. I wont go far, I promise." Roxas studied me worriedly.

"Okay, be back in a half hour." I nodded my head, but promised nothing as I ran out the door.

The wind swept past my face, I felt like I was running through water. Everything was going slowly. It felt surreal, fake, like nothing and everything were happening all at once.

Riku's POV:

I walked down my street. Houses on either side decrepit and despicable, my own beige one story in the worst condition. It was closed off and blocked off, a crime scene. I sighed and bent under the caution tape. I walked around the house to the backyard full of over grown weeds and grass, that neither my dad nor I had ever bothered to take care of. When I reached the jungle of weeds, I saw him. He was standing in the middle, face unshaved and dirty, hands covered with filth, hair overgrown and snarled. The amazing feat in this situation was how we could have ever possibly been related. I scowled at him. This man had caused all of my problems. He beat me until I was unconscious, blamed me for the death of my mother, called me a faggot constantly, and persuaded me to hurt Sora in a way unimaginably painful. The thought of Sora caused my heart to bleed a bit in my chest. I hope he would forgive me someday, understand why I had to do this.

"Sora…"

"Well. It seems you've made it alive." I scowled at him, refusing to speak.

"Oh, so you're just going to give me the silent treatment? I see how it is, very childish of you, Riku. But then, you never were one to talk much."

"why the hell did you bring me here?" the man I so despised grunted and laughed.

"I didn't bring you here Riku, all I did was ask for you to come. And my, my, my. Here the fuck you are. The little shit himself, in the blood." My father smiled drunkedly at me. He sighed and pulled something shiny and black out of your pocket. As soon as I recognized the deadly item, my chest tightened with fear.

"D-dad, now..let's t-talk this out…" My dad smiled sadly and pointed the thing at me.

"I believe it's a bit too late for that now, shit head." And with that, I ran. I sprinted out pof that over grown wasteland as fast as my thin legs could carry me, but they didn't reach far. I got to the middle of the road and turned around to see if he was following me. That, is where I made my fatal mistake.

I heard the shot sound through the air.

I heard the bullet crash into my chest.

I felt the ear-splitting pain of the shot ricochet through my entire body.

I heard a second shot, but I had no idea where it went.

My vision began to blur.

I fell to the ground, and for a moment the darkness was evident. But then something came into my view.

"RIKU!" a silent scream came to my ears. I blurry figure with chocolate brown hair sticking at all ends bent over me.

"RIKU! Oh my god! Riku, please, please don't leave me. Oh my god. RIKU! Riku….please..say something!" I felt something wet slid down my cheeks.

"Sora." My voice came out slurred and thick. I shuddered as another wave of pain caught me by surprise. I glared into his beautiful eyes, like tiny pools of the ocean. My Sora. How would I ever, ever get him to forgive me for the unspeakable horror I did unto him?

"I love you Sora, w-with all…my….h-heart…" I whispered, holding loosly onto one of his bandaged hands. I felt something strong and safe enclosing around my body, and the final I heard was

"I love you to…" and then everything went utterly, and completely, black.

Sora's POV:

Suddenly , everything came to life from a dark, void path of rage and fire and death. For what I saw before was enough to stop my heart and send me to heaven. I heard the gunshot and screamed. His body flung to the ground and lay there, motionlessly. Then his father killed himself.

"RIKU!" I ran over to him and knelt beside him. His eyes were lidded, and his beautiful face was contorted in pain. Blood seeped through his clothing at an alarming rate.

"Riku! Riku, oh god, please don't leave me Riku! Riku, stay with me, come on, come on! Please! Oh Christ! Riku!" Riku stared at me for a moment, and suddenly his face was very calm. I stared at his half-open aquamarine pools of wonder.

"Riku…" I whispered, tears dripping from my eyes at an alarming rate.

"I…love you…..Sora." my heart collapsed in my chest. My entire body shook. My head felt like it was going to explode.

"Riku….Riku! Riku! Please-oh my god. Oh my god! RIKU!" I shook his shoulders, but it was no use. His eyes were closed and a look of pure bliss had reached his face. I put my palm on his bloodied chest. There was a faint beat.

"Bdmp…bdmp….bdmp…" and then nothing.

The world stopped moving. My eyes opened wide. Time stopped. An unbearable pain unlike anything I had ever felt burst through my chest and poured through my entire being. It overwhelmed me. It shook my body, it made me weak. I fell ontop of Riku and wrapped my arms tightly around him.

"I-I l-love you t-to." I whispered fiercly, tears running down my face and my body shaking.

And just like that, he was gone. My beautiful, wonderful, amazing lover. My Riku. The one I loved. The one that had, at one time, made me smile in a world were it didn't seem possible. My Riku…gone….forever…

Oh….i'm crying now. Baaaa. i know this sounds too depressing right now, but please read more! It is absolutely vital!

Sorry.

-Zexionienzo