I do not own Twilight; I just play with the characters.
Sorry this one took so long but I just couldn't stop writing it. It is longer than the rest of my chapters but I think that you will enjoy it just the same. Enjoy.
EPOV
Esme was waiting on the porch when we arrived at our house. Her face was full of worry as she watched me take Bella from the car. She flitted to our side and stroked Bella's hair softly.
"Oh Bella," she sighed.
"Esme, I'm going to put Bella up in my room but first I have a favor to ask."
"Anything," she whispered, never taking her eyes off Bella's face.
"Could you help Bella with a bath? Maybe she will feel better if we get that dog's stench off of her," I asked.
Bella flinched slightly at the mention of the mongrel and I pulled her tighter to my chest.
"Of course," she agreed and flew into the house to start the water for Bella's bath.
I walked through the door slowly. I didn't want to any sudden movements to frighten Bella any more than she already was. She still had not moved or spoken, besides the flinch at the mention of the dog, and I only hoped that she felt safe now.
"Everything's going to be alright now love. I'm here and your safe now," I whispered to her, putting as much love and assurance in my voice as I could.
I leaned down and kissed the top of her head. I let out a sigh as once again she didn't respond to my kiss. How was I going to help her? What could I possibly do to make her better?
I walked at human pace upstairs to where Esme had the bath running for Bella. I stepped into the bathroom and Esme unwrapped Bella from the quilt that she was in and took her from my arms. Esme's motherly instincts took over and she hugged Bella closer to her stone chest, whispering soothing words in her ear.
"I am going to go and order a bed for her; hopefully we can get one delivered immediately. Did Alice call?" I still didn't know what had happened after I left them to fight Victoria.
"Yes, she called just before you arrived. She said not to worry; Victoria will not be bothering any one ever again. She also said that a bed is on the way and she is going shopping for some clothes for Bella," Esme smiled wryly.
I rolled my eyes; of course Alice wouldn't pass up an opportunity to go shopping for new clothes.
"Okay, I'll go and get my room ready while you tend to Bella," I turned and started for the door.
"Edward, did you hear that?" Esme whispered from behind me.
I stopped and turned again. Of course I had heard it. Bella's heart rate rose slightly, her breathing accelerated minutely.
"She knows you're here, she senses your presence," Esme gasped.
My heart felt like it would explode. I went to Bella's side and stroked her cheek.
"Bella? Bella I'm here love. Don't worry I'm not going far," I kissed her forehead.
Her heart rate returned to normal, as did her breathing but she never moved. I sighed and turned to leave again. Bella's heart reacted again and her breathing picked up.
"Edward, I think you should stay. She needs you to be near her. She feels you with her and apparently it stresses her when you start to leave. She needs to stay calm and I think that you being here helps keep her calm," Esme explained. I nodded and came closer to Bella and Esme.
"Okay Bella, I'm not going anywhere. I'll stay with you forever, don't worry," I soothed as I stroked her arm. She returned to her previous state and Esme nodded her approval.
I turned my back to them so Esme could undress her. I heard Esme lower her into the water and I blocked Esme's mind from mine as not to intrude on Bella's privacy any more than I already had. I heard water splashing as Esme washed Bella's body. She moved around the tub to wash Bella's hair and I heard a small knock on the door, I went to open it.
Alice stood there with a pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt, Bella's favorite outfit to sleep in.
"How is she?" Alice asked, peering around me. I just shook my head and sighed.
Sadness consumed Alice's face.
"Is Jasper okay?" I asked.
"Well, Victoria tore a piece out of his arm as you know but we found it and Carlisle put it back and wrapped it up. He should be fine in a little while," she explained still angry that Jasper was injured. I nodded and turned to look at Esme, who had called my name.
"I think she fell asleep while I was washing her hair," she gave me a tiny smile.
"Good, she needs to rest. Alice?" I said turning to face her, "Can you help Esme with Bella? I need to get my room ready for her."
Alice nodded, "The bed is already in there."
I stepped around Alice and started for my room. Bella reacted to my leaving and strangely my heart soared. She could feel my presence even in her sleep. She does love me and it pained me to leave her even for a second but I knew that she was in good hands.
I continued to my room and smiled to myself as I entered. Alice had moved all of my furniture and a large bed took up most of the space now. I went and sat down in the chair that she had placed beside the bed. A minute later Alice brought Bella in and laid her gently on the bed.
I could hear her heart and breathing relax as soon as she was carried into the room with me. Alice pushed Bella's hair off of her face and kissed her on the cheek before leaving the room. I sat starring at my sleeping beauty for hours. She slept soundly for most of the night but at one point she started shivering so I got up and put another blanket on her, tucking it in snugly around her slight frame.
After a few minutes the shivering stopped and she curled into a ball on her side. I pulled one of her hands away from her body and intertwined it with mine. She grasped it tightly. Her breathing started to come out in gasps, her heart pounding in her chest. I thought that she was finally responding to my touch until she whimpered in her sleep. She winced and whimpered louder. She was dreaming, having a nightmare.
"Bella, Bella it's okay," I whispered, stroking her cheek with my fingertips.
Her next whimper was almost a scream. I couldn't let her continue to have this dream, it was causing her pain. It was excruciating for me to watch her suffer even in her sleep.
"Bella," I said louder, slightly shaking her shoulder.
She opened her eyes and moved them fractionally, looking straight into my eyes before closing them again. She looked at me, she actually looked at me! The lights were dim but there was enough that I knew she saw me. My breathing hitched as I started to cry. She was improving. I knew that it wasn't much but I would take it. I placed a kiss on the palm of her hand and laid it back on the bed.
I walked to the door and whispered, "Carlisle."
He was in front of me in seconds.
I smiled at him, "She woke up for a second and looked right at me."
"Well that's a good sign but don't get your hopes up too high. This could be a long recovery," my smile faltered.
I knew that but why did he have to squash my high? I turned and repositioned myself behind Bella on the bed. I wrapped her in my arms and started humming her lullaby. She slept soundly for the rest of the night.
Alice came into the room at dawn and took my previous spot in the chair.
I'm worried Edward, I still can't see her future. It's still just black, nothingness. I don't know if she will survive this, she thought.
I winced, maybe a little too hard. Bella woke up and sighed. In Alice's mind I saw Bella look up at her.
"Hi Bella," Alice said with a smile.
Bella shifted her hand slightly, opening it to Alice. She placed her hand in Bella's. Bella pulled Alice to her, moving out of my arms. Alice raised her up and sat down on the bed beside her, wrapping her arms around Bella's shoulders.
"Oh Bella, what are we going to do with you?" Alice sighed, rocking Bella gently.
A rumbling sound came from Bella's stomach and Alice giggled.
"Are you hungry? Do you want some breakfast?" Bella nodded her head a fraction of an inch.
My heart just about started beating. She was responding to Alice's questions, responding to Alice. I stayed still as not to interrupt this moment. Alice had gotten her to answer a direct question.
"I think you need some human time before we get some food for you," Alice spoke and Bella nodded again.
I could literally leap for joy. Alice got her to answer again. Maybe this wouldn't take as long as we thought. I could barely contain my emotions. My heart was going to burst. My whole being was tingling with excitement. My Bella is coming back to me. But would she still want me? After everything, would she still want me in her life? Yes she still loved me but what about her pain, pain that was directly my fault? I had to bury these thoughts for now because my first priority is Bella.
Alice stood up helping Bella to her feet. Bella wrapped her arms tightly around Alice's waist and leaned her head into her shoulder. Alice started moving to leave the room and Bella's breathing became irregular.
"I'm coming Bella, don't worry," I assured her as I got up off of the bed to follow.
I walked to her side and started to reach for her cheek but she cringed away from me, burying her face in Alice's chest. Alice gave me a remorseful look and shook her head.
I dropped my hand and sighed. Was Bella actually afraid of me? Did she fear my touch? I would never harm her, she had to know that. I had to control my aching heart; I had to be strong for Bella.
"Come on Bella," Alice pulled her to the bathroom with me following close behind.
I stayed outside the door as Alice took Bella inside to take care of her human needs. I heard Bella use the toilet and then move to the sink and brush her teeth. It was quiet for a moment before I heard the sound of fabric rustling. Bella gasped and her breathing became heavy, her heart racing.
"Edward!" Alice almost shouted.
I rushed into the bathroom and saw Bella standing at the sink, her knuckles white, grasping the counter top. She was paler than pale as she looked in the mirror. Her shirt was lying on the floor next to her feet and Alice stood beside her with her mouth gaping open in shock.
Bella collapsed and I caught her before she hit the floor. I sat her gently on the tile and cradled her in my arms, "Shh, Bella it's okay."
I looked at Alice questioningly.
I don't know what happened. She was fine until she took her shirt off and looked into the mirror. Alice thought.
I looked down at Bella and her heaving chest was completely black on the left side. I looked back at Alice and nodded my head towards Bella's breast.
Oh Alice realized what had caused Bella's reaction.
"Bella, calm down, no one is going to hurt you. You are safe now," I told her, rocking her back and forth gently.
Alice leaned down beside us and took Bella's hand. Bella pulled herself from my arms and into Alice's. The pain in my chest was unbearable. I wanted to be the one to comfort my Bella, to make her feel safe, but she wanted Alice. I buried my face in my hands and my breathing hitched.
Oh Edward, I'm so sorry. After what happened to her I think that she just feels more comfortable with a girl. I don't think that it's you; it's probably just because you are a male. She just doesn't trust men right now, not after what that bastard tried to do to her. Don't worry, she'll get past this, she'll be okay.
I just shook my head at her thoughts. She didn't know that, she couldn't. Bella's future was not visible to her.
Alice helped Bella get dressed for the day while I remained on the floor, suffering in my own personal hell. Bella had calmed down from her mild panic attack and had her arms wrapped tightly around Alice's waist again. Alice towed her to the door but Bella stopped, not willing to go any farther.
I looked up to see what had stopped her and she peeked over Alice's shoulder and looked deep into my eyes, silently asking me to get up and follow them. Even though she didn't feel comfortable with me touching her, she still needed me to be close to her. This made me feel better and I got up and followed them to the kitchen.
Esme was standing in front o the stove cooking eggs when we entered. She looked up at us with a timid smile. Alice sat Bella on a stool at the island in the middle of the kitchen. I walked to the other side, in front of Bella, so I could see her face. The hand print on her busted mouth was barely visible but still it made me cringe internally.
Alice took the stool beside her. Bella never letting her touch leave Alice. She let go of Alice's waist just long enough to take her hand. Esme put the eggs on a plate with a piece of toast.
"There you are Bella, dear," Esme smiled, placing the plate in front of Bella.
Bella looked over at Alice and Alice nodded her head reassuringly. Bella picked up the toast and started eating it slowly. I took a glass out of the cabinet and filled it with orange juice from the refrigerator. It was odd to actually use the food that we brought into the house for show. I placed the glass in front of Bella and she looked at me again before turning her gaze to the juice. She picked up the glass and started drinking it.
Just then Emmet burst through the kitchen door in his usual manner. Bella dropped the glass and it bounced off the counter before shattering on the floor. Bella shot off of her stool and ran around the island to me. She cowered behind me, burying her face in my back, gripping my shirt tightly in her hands. I could feel her shaking violently against me. I reached my arm behind me and placed my hand on her lower back. Alice, Esme and I just glared at Emmet.
"Oops, sorry," he muttered sheepishly and backed out of the room.
I felt Bella stiffen behind me. She let go of my shirt, turned and threw up what little bit of food she had eaten into the sink. Alice flitted to her side and held her hair away from her face. When Bella was done she wrapped herself around Alice again.
"Esme, could you take Bella? I think that I need to have a word with my dear brother," Alice growled.
Esme took Bella and Alice was out of the kitchen in an instant.
"Okay honey, lets go get you cleaned up," Esme softly stroked Bella's face. Bella wrapped herself around Esme the same as she had Alice. Esme took her to the bathroom and she brushed her teeth again. I hung back by the door, watching her and I heard Alice's shrill voice come from downstairs.
"Emmet you idiot! You scared the hell out of her! What were you thinking!? From now on, the only guy allowed in the same room with Bella is Edward. You got that? The rest of you stay away or I will kick your ass myself!" she shouted at him.
I laughed under my breath. I had never heard Alice curse like that, she really must be angry to let loose like that. I felt a surge of gratitude towards my little sister. I heard her stomp out of the room and come upstairs. Bella saw Alice and left Esme. She put her arms around Alice and pulled her to my room. They both sat down on the edge of the bed, I took my place in the chair.
"Bella, you need to eat something. You need to keep your strength up," Alice rubbed her hand up and down Bella's arm.
Bella shook her head but Alice wasn't going to take no for an answer. Oh how I loved that little pixie.
"I'll go get you some soup. Be back in a minute," she said, pulling out of Bella's grip.
Bella scooted up to the headboard, pulled her legs up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them, and placing her cheek on her knees. She looked right at me, boring into my heart. The hurt and sadness in her eyes was too much for me to bear.
I placed my arms on the bed, my face pressed against the sheet. My breathing hitched as my heart broke again. I couldn't contain my emotions any longer. Everything I had been holding in washed over me and I sobbed out loud. The pain I felt was overwhelming. It tore through me like a raging river, ripping me apart.
How could I have let this happen to the love of my life, the reason that I exist? No one knew how much she meant to me, how much I loved this human, this goddess. I should have been here, should have protected her. I was crying so hard that the whole bed was shaking.
Suddenly I felt a warm trembling hand on mine. I looked up and Bella was on her knees in front of me, tears running down her face. I turned my palm up to hold her hand and she pulled me up on the bed. She pulled my head into her chest and laid her cheek against the top of my head. Her heart was beating fast, she was still scared.
I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled myself closer. She placed her hand on my arm, still shaking. She was trying to comfort me. I felt her body start to shake as she cried into my hair. She needed this, I needed this. We both needed to release our pain.
Her crying turned into hysterical wails and I sat up pulling her into my cold chest. This was the first time that she had cried since Jacob had attacked her. She needed to let it go, to get it out.
I kissed the top of her head and whispered, "I love you Bella. I don't know what I was thinking when I left. I am so sorry. I should have been here. I should have protected you. You don't know how sorry I am that I didn't."
If possible, she sobbed even harder. I kissed the top of her head, her forehead, her cheeks many times, telling her that I loved her.
Alice appeared in my doorway and I shook my head. She understood and left, closing the door behind her.
Bella's crying slowed after a while and I pulled up her chin to look into her eyes. They were red and swollen from all the crying. I looked deep into her chocolate brown eyes, searching. The light in her eyes had still not returned but I thought that I saw a spark in them as they looked into mine.
"I love you," I told her as I kissed the last tears from her cheeks.
Her brow furrowed as she reached her trembling hand up to my face and ran her thumb across the dark circles under my eyes. I knew what she was asking even without her saying it out loud.
"Don't worry love, I'm fine. I'm not going to leave you," I gave her my crooked smile that I knew she loved.
Her forehead wrinkled more and she moved her hand down and caressed my throat.
"Don't worry about me. You just concentrate on getting yourself better," I told her as I ran my fingers down her cheek.
She frowned, running her hand down my throat again.
"Fine, I'll go hunting soon, I promise," I didn't want her to worry but I didn't want to leave her either.
The though t of being separated form her, even for a little while, was tearing me up inside. Inevitably I would have to hunt. The deplorable creature that I was demanded it and apparently so did Bella. I would keep my promise, I would not cause her anymore stress. Bella needed to get better and I was going to make sure that she got anything she needed to do that.
"Okay, now that that is settled, are you ready to go downstairs and get some food in you?" I asked softly.
I helped her off of the bed but instead of wrapping her arms around me as she had Alice and Esme; she took my hand and stepped behind me, gripping my shirt with the other.
"No one is going to hurt you love," I said, squeezing her hand.
She didn't move from behind me so I just let her go at her own pace and led her back downstairs to the kitchen.
Well what do you think? Was it worth the wait? I will get right on the next chapter as soon as I can. I promised the readers of Payback that if I got 15 reviews i would write another chapter for them and guess what I got nuber 15 today, yay. So 'im going to do that first sorry but a promise is a promise. Please Review.~Pixdog~