Me Again

You sit and stare out the window of your new quarters, enjoying the view of the twin suns dancing in the sky. With your optics, you don't worry about getting cataracts; you enjoy the bright gasses exploding on the suns' surface.

You can hear your bond mates stirring in their recharge and you can occasionally catch a flash of a dream, but you notice you don't feel what they feel anymore. Yesterday, if Barrage had a nightmare, you all would have felt the fear. Today, when you see the vision of Heave's creator disappearing, you don't feel scared, though you can tell by the mech's body language, Heave isn't too calm.

You have the words of Optimus Prime running through your CPU, do you really want to die. You think back to when Carly had told you Wheeljack had died. At the time, death was a welcome commodity, but one that you weren't offered. Instead you had been offered a luxury stay in the brig, with the twins sneaking down to banter with you during their down time.

After you ran off, death didn't seem too important anymore, nothing was.

You hear someone stir and look over to see Missile Master looking at you with bright optics. ""You seem agitated young one, but I do not feel your agitation overtaking me. Am I to assume we are ourselves again and not each other?""

""I think so, I still feel you in there, but I think all of my energy has managed to make it back to my spark. I think we could now sleep by ourselves instead of with each other.""

""I agree."" Heave says, sitting up and looking at the two of you. There is a hint of distain, that startles you and Missile Master, but Heave brushes it off. ""Relax, that was bound to come back and I no longer think of you as below me. Next to me, yes, but you are no longer an untouchable.""

You laugh slightly. ""You've been spending too much time reading through my data banks on Earth culture, or you've been reading about Earth culture for a lot longer than you've let on.""

""Trust me, this is all you. I'd not have cared one iota for an Earth creature if you hadn't shown up.""

This causes you and Missile Master to stare for a moment at the disgruntled mech. Had Heave just admitted to caring for someone that wasn't always a Cybertronian?

""Don't read into that too much, I can hear your thoughts."" Heave sneers, though a lot less than normal. ""I do that only out of normal feelings you attain for one you have been bonded to.""

You and Missile Master look at each other and laugh. Heave soon joins in. It doesn't take much to wake up the remainder of your bond mates, or at least their inner voices, as the contagious laughter causes everyone to laugh.

""What are we laughing about?"" Moonrock giggles inside, though the young mech looks barely awake.

""Heave being a sentimental bully."" You say, earning a glare that could wither a flower.

""I think we're rubbing off on ya."" Missile Master tells the younger mech.

""Whatever."" Heave waves the group off outwardly, but inwardly, you and your mates can tell the mech is happy to be part of this.

GG GG GG GG GG

""Phaser's not dead, leave the mech alone."" You hear Blast Master tell someone, though you can't quite tell who since both Barrage and Moonrock seem to be worried about you.

""Relax kids."" You say to them, refusing to wake up completely. ""I think we've gotten all of that energy I learned about while I was part of Primus back, so we won't be influencing each other anymore.""

""Is that why we can feel you, but we feel like ourselves again?"" Barrage asks.

""Yes."" Heave says in short response.

""I guess I don't understand what happened. Why did we influence each other so much and now why are we back to, well, ourselves again?"" Moonrock asks.

Heave, being the smartest of your group answers. ""The reason we influenced each other so much was the energies that make up ourselves, was trapped within each other's sparks. We each had our own original spark, but energies from the other five were coursing through the genetic makeup. It's been long enough, that our specific energy signatures have found their way back to where they belong.""

"That made no sense at all." You say, admitting defeat and waking up.

"Well if you're so smart human, why don't you explain it?" Heave snaps at you as you open your optics.

"Why does it need to be explained?" You ask. "There are just some things you can't explain; this should be one of them." You say, jumping off the berth. "I doubt Perceptor could give an answer that other's would understand."

"You don't want to learn about what's happening to us?" Barrage asks, shocked.

"I'm sure I would enjoy learning about everything, down to the tiniest detail, about what is happening to us, but I'm still trying to come to terms with the fact that only a couple of weeks ago, I was a human, living on Earth." You say. "As I was coming around I thought maybe this had all been a dream and it scared me."

"What scared you?" Missile Master asks, putting an arm around your shoulder.

"I might be alone again." ""My life wasn't anything special to begin with, but being alone again is not something I want."" You look toward the door and see that it is closed, but you know someone is waiting somewhere on the other side.

GG GG GG GG GG

"God Jess, how long have I been out?" You ask one of the nurses on your staff.

"Who is Jess?" You hear someone ask, causing you to sit up immediately.

"It wasn't…I mean?" You look at yourself and realize you are still blue, red and white. "It wasn't a dream?" You look over at all five of your bond mates, who are looking at you like you've turned into Cerberus.

"What was a dream?" Heave asks, not quite showing concern, but clearly as confused as everyone else.

"I…I didn't feel you in here." You point to your head, though you know your mind is housed in your spark. "I thought I had dreamt it all."

"Would have been one pit of a dream." Missile Master laughs, sending warm fuzzies your way, proving to you everyone is still there.

"We've just made it back into ourselves, so we won't be influencing each other anymore." Heave says.

"Probably a good thing." You say, jumping off the berth. You hear a chime and look at your mates quizzically.

""Relax, someone's at the door."" Blast Master says, exiting the room to answer.

You and your remaining mates filter into the room to see Perceptor and Wheeljack enter the abode.

"Glad to see you're all up and about. I want to take you to the Science Center and do some tests on you lack of inhibitions and how much you influence each other." Perceptor says in a merry tone.

"No can do Percy." Heave says, earning a glare from Perceptor. "We're back where we belong. We can still hear each other when we want to, but no one has the influence over the next like we used to."

"Frag." Perceptor says, causing everyone in the room to laugh.

"I don't think I've heard you say a single profane word in your life Perceptor." Wheeljack snickers, clapping the scientist on the back.

Perceptor stalls for a moment, "What did I say?" Perceptor starts repeating the conversation from the time the two of them entered the room, gets to the word and stops. "I'm completely mortified." Perceptor states, like it was a big deal, causing everyone to laugh again.

"No, I mean it. I hope I didn't offend anyone." Perceptor glances at you and your bond mates, as you try to control the giggling.

"I think they are used to your absent mindedness already Perceptor. I don't think they care." Wheeljack is still having a hard time keeping in check; vocal indicators are a solid blue.

Perceptor glares at Wheeljack, causing the mech to laugh even harder. "I fail to see how my cursing is so amusing." Perceptor turns back to everyone else. "Well, that basically makes today a free day. I suggest you use it to your advantage, because starting tomorrow is when you will learn to combine while in motion and from there it's just going to get harder."

You and your team groan like a kid who has just found out about a pop quiz. Then you hear each of your bond mates telling everyone else where they are going to go. Blast Master wants to head to the training area while Missile Master wants to see a couple of friends. Moonrock and Barrage have decided to follow Heave's example and go to a popular meeting place.

You watch your bond mates leave, feeling slightly down as you realize, aside from the bond, you have nothing in common with any of them. They are like family, but family you would only see on holidays, now that you are yourself again.

"You're not following the crowd?" Wheeljack asks at the same time each of your bond mates offer you the option to accompany them wherever they are going.

"I've never been into following people into places I am not comfortable with, which unfortunately is everywhere. Especially being on a new planet." You say, walking to what you assume is a sofa, and hopping on.

"I'm heading into Iacon to pick up some stuff from my old lab, would you like to come?" Wheeljack asks.

You seem to ponder the question. Do you sit on your aft all day doing nothing, or do you go explore? "Lead the way." You say, jumping up and off the sofa.

GG GG GG GG GG

"I see they let you out of the brig Blue." You say from atop your perch of ruins.

Bluestreak continues trying to climb the rubble pile you have become majesty over, without causing the precariously set structure to collapse. "Do you have any idea how hard it is to find you when you decide to run off and hide in this mess of metal? What are you doing out here…I mean…I've never seen such desolation in this portion of my life and I don't like to because it reminds me of memories I want to forget, and here you are, sitting up here like you own the place." Bluestreak straightens up and looks at you.

For a moment you are stunned, then you start to laugh. "What's so funny?" Bluestreak asks, clearly confused.

"For a moment there, I was looking at the mech I first met, rambling and all." You say, still laughing.

Bluestreak's head cocks to one side. "Have I really changed that much?"

"No Blue, but you put on a good front." You say, indicating a pile of metal Bluestreak can sit on.

Blue takes the offer and sits, then starts talking again. "I've got to ask; what's it like being bonded, I mean I know 'Jack wanted to bond with you before you left, but you never did."

"Honestly, I have no emotional attachment to them anymore. For a while it was as if they were me and I couldn't live without them. Now…I miss them, but I would honestly rather live on my own." You look over at your friend and smile.

"You feel absolutely nothing for them?" Bluestreak looks shocked at your admission.

"I think of them as comrades, maybe friends, but I don't love them and I had this fantasy built up of what it would have been like to be bonded with someone I loved. This isn't it." You stare up at the sky, catching one of the moons out of the corner of your optic.

"I like the colors you chose; all of you are a mixture of blue, gray, red and white, right?" You can tell Bluestreak is trying to change the subject, probably worried you'll go nuclear on that shiny gray aft.

"Yeah, not sure who chose those colors. I like purple and green myself. Though the gray isn't to too bad. Reminds me of a certain gunner I used to spend time with." You say, glancing mischievously over at your friend. "You ever meet a mech named Bluestreak?"

"If I were a human, my eyes would have rolled so far back in my head all you'd see is the white." Bluestreak snickers.

"You're too high strung for white eyes; you'd have too many red veins showing."

Bluestreak gets right into your face. "Are you calling me a Decepticon you has been fleshy?"

Had this been anyone other than Blue, you might be a little worried, but it is Blue after all. "Maybe I am." You jump up, pointing your finger into the space between Bluestreak's eyes. "Maybe you're a wolf in sheep's clothing."

Bluestreak, playfully, tries to swat at you, but you surprise the mech by hovering a few feet away. "I had no idea you could do that." Bluestreak says in a wondering tone.

"I'm a flyer now, though I don't know if this was something I was supposed to find out about yet. I only discovered I could hover when I slipped trying to get up here." You float back down and Bluestreak snatches you out of the air. "What's with this?" You laugh, pointing to Bluestreak's hand wrapped around your abdomen.

Bluestreak looks at you seriously for a moment before answering. "I'm not letting you go this time."

This causes you to sigh, or at least the vocal inflections of a sigh, as Cybertronians don't actually sigh. "You and those idiot twins are the best friends I have right now, probably the best friends I've had in my entire existence."

"So, you're not going to leave again? You're going to stay here with the three of us?" The hopeful look on Bluestreak's face makes you want to hug the mech.

"I don't know how this…this bonding thing is going to work, but I'm not going anywhere for a while. I promise." Bluestreak puts you down, back on your perch, and the two of you are silent for a few minutes. "You know something Blue?"

"What?"

"In another reality, we would have been perfect for each other."

There are a few more moments of silence. "You know something Phaser?"

"What?"

"I already knew that."

GG GG GG GG GG

The door in front of you looks rather foreboding and you wonder if it's such a good idea to go inside. After a brief period of silently berating yourself, you enter the code into the lock pad and watch the door open slowly.

You step through the door and it closes, and locks, immediately behind you. You step forward into the room and glance around, re-familiarizing yourself with your surroundings. Bluestreak is over on the berth, rocking back and forth again, but this time while looking at you.

"Bluestreak?" You ask, hoping the mech will recognize your vocal inflections. The mech seems to and stops the rocking for a moment and stares at you. You can see the curiosity, but you stand back. Kup isn't here to watch your back this time.

"Why?" Bluestreak chokes on the word and starts to rock again, this time faster. "Why did you do that to yourself?" Bluestreak continues rocking and starts to slam into the wall.

"Please don't hurt yourself Bluestreak." You say. If you were a human you'd be on the verge of tears right now.

"The physical pain blocks the mental pain. The physical pain blocks the mental pain." Bluestreak continues chanting this as you slowly make your way over to the berth. Swiftly, you jump up, and sit on the edge, as far from Bluestreak as possible.

"Why do you want to cause physical pain?" You ask softly.

"The physical pain blocks the mental pain." You can see the anguish in Blue's optics as they change color from the soft, kind blue they used to be, to a deep shade of gray, then to black.

Bluestreak looks up toward the ceiling and starts bashing into the wall, causing dents and scrapes on both the head and the wall.

"Stop Bluestreak!" You shout, jumping up and putting your hand behind Bluestreak's head. This backfires and your hand gets smashed into the wall, splintering open and showing you the circuitry inside. "Please stop Bluestreak." You cry, watching your hand start to send off electric sparks.

Bluestreak grabs onto you and crushes you into a giant hug. This causes the crashing to stop, but Bluestreak continues to chant.

After a few minutes of the chanting and the crushing, you start to flail slightly. "Bluestreak, you gotta let me go. I promise not to go anywhere again." You say, surprised you still sound the same.

Bluestreak continues chanting and stands up to start pacing the room. Then, for no apparent reason, stops.

"The physical pain…it blocks the mental pain." Bluestreak looks at you for a moment, then leans in and kisses you, or at least what you assume is a kiss, on the head, before dropping you and walking back over to the berth.

You land in a pile on the floor and watch as the mech climbs into bed and looks at an arm. You get a horrible feeling in your spark as you watch the eyes change from black to red within moments.

Then Bluestreak grabs the left arm with the right hand and starts to dig through the skin on the forearm. You watch, petrified, as Bluestreak starts to peal the skin back and show the circuitry underneath.

"Blue, what are you doing?" You shout, shorting out your vocal processor in the process.

Bluestreak ignores you and slips a finger into the arm, exposing a wire. You watch in horror as the mech attacks the wire using the metal from its mouth. The wire ends up cut clean through and Bluestreak goes for another one, this time screaming like a wounded animal at the same time.

You jump up and pound on the door, hoping to get someone's attention. You cringe as Bluestreak squeals again and you can hear sparks of electricity hitting metal by the berth. You cover your optics with your good hand as you are shoved out of the way by whoever has answered your plea.

It doesn't take long for silence to envelope you. You look up to see someone pointing to your hand, but you can no longer hear anything. You turn slowly to see others enter the room and attack Bluestreak.

You shout out to leave the mech alone, but only in your head; no one can hear you when you cry in your head. You feel yourself being pulled away from the room, but not before you get the chance to hold Bluestreak's primal gaze for a moment.

You watch as the door shuts, separating you and your friend, yet again.

GG GG GG GG GG

"I am surprised to be able to tell you this place is worse than your other lab." You say, glancing around at your surroundings.

"I'm not allowed back in the city for extended periods of time, so the fact that it's in this good of shape is something to be proud of." Wheeljack chuckles while packing various materials and apparatuses into a storage unit for travel.

"As I said before, I'm not much better, at least I don't think I am." You say, picking up various pieces Wheeljack is pointing to and bringing them to the subspace unit. "When do I get one of these space pockets?" You ask, climbing inside and completely disappearing from reality.

You backpedal quickly and fall out and onto your aft. "That was wicked." You say, making a move to go back. "Feels like being on Oxycodone."

Wheeljack grabs your wrist and hauls you away from the pocket. "I don't want you going in there again, especially if it makes you feel like you're on human pain medication."

You stare longingly at the pocket for a moment before mentally kicking yourself. You've treated enough people on narcotics to know better. "Why in the name of Primus's balls does the subspace pocket act like a mind altering drug?"

Wheeljack looks at you for a moment then bursts into laughter. "I didn't know Primus has balls." Wheeljack's vocal indicators flash in amusement.

"Sorry…" You look at the ground for a moment. "You know what I mean."

"Your genetic makeup belongs here, not in there. We can put non-living materials in the pocket, because they aren't alive; they don't feel. Living beings don't belong in subspace."

"I wouldn't think anything from here belongs in subspace, but I don't see your ray gun, or whatever it is you carry, complaining." You say, handing more materials over.

Wheeljack laughs again. "I actually carry cannons, not ray guns."

"I'm sure I know about as much about weaponry as you do about the human endocrine system, so we should both worry about what we know best." You say, handing the last piece to Wheeljack, who subspaces it.

"I'll make you a deal. You teach me what you know and I'll teach you what I know. I may be an inventor, but I enjoy learning about subjects that aren't in my programming."

You ponder the request for a minute, making a theatrical production of it and once again causing Wheeljack to laugh.

"Think you can keep up with me Autobot?" You challenge.

"Think you can keep up with me?"

You stare seriously for a second, then a large grin plasters itself on your face. "You've got yourself a deal." You hold out your hand and Wheeljack shakes, sealing the deal.

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