When Lily arrived in the great hall three quarters of an hour later, only the boys were there. She went over and sat down carefully.
"Where are the others?" She asked John as she picked up a piece of toast and buttered it.
"Still getting ready most likely. They will be here in a few minutes I expect." Students trickled into the great hall in the next few minutes, then in greater numbers so that the majority of the students were eating by the time other girls arrived. They greeted Lily cheerfully. She noticed Potter enter moments later, hair still glistening wet from a shower. He gave her a furtive nod and her lips curved up in a smile. She knew full well he could, and probably usually did, dry it magically. He was just making a silent statement by keeping it dripping. To further the point he messed it up with a careless hand and the strands stayed there sticking up, looking even messier that it usually did.
Lily listened to the conversation at the table, but didn't say much herself. She did give John an embarrassed smile when he put an arm around her towards the end of the meal. No one else noticed, or cared. Perhaps they thought they were already together.
"Lily and I have Transfiguration first." Isaacs said. "Should we go to class?"
She checked her watch. Transfiguration was the farthest classroom from the great hall save the astronomy tower, but that didn't actually count as a classroom, even though classes were held there. She nodded.
"Alright." She said getting up.
"See you at lunch?" John asked as his arm fell from around her shoulders. She gave him a smile that she didn't even have to force.
"It's a..." she was about to say date, but she stumbled over her tongue and spat out "plan" instead. She had brought her bag with her this time so she and Isaacs walked directly to the classroom together. The moment they left the hall together Isaacs asked the question Lily had been expecting.
"So how long have you and John been..."
"Not long." Lily said, cutting her off. "Actually, I don't even know if we are. He asked me out on Sunday."
"Only Sunday?" She let out a pleasant sort of laugh. "He's been talking about you for weeks."
"Has he?"
She nodded. Lily was surprised. So it hadn't been a spur of the moment idea after there chance meeting on Sunday. Lily couldn't ever remember having spoken more than a few words to him in the past, the fact that he had his eyes on her seemed more suspect.
"He kept saying how pretty you were, and how amazing you were in Potions."
Well, Lily thought, that was normal enough. She still didn't know whether or not she could trust the boy.
Lily was disappointed when in Transfiguration she got back an essay. It was still an O, but she had made a careless mistake. It really got under her skin when she made silly mistakes. It made her look stupider than she was. It was like admitting to a fault one didn't even have. All the same, less then perfection wasn't something she was used to. She thought it was probably because she had been too preoccupied when she wrote it. She had been unfairly distracted this week. She sighed, only knowing that these distractions would only continue. She would have to be more careful when she was doing her homework, not that she had much time to do it nowadays...
She was sitting at the Slytherin table that night at dinner when an owl flew in and landed on the table dangerously close to Lily's plate, its tail feathers brushing the mashed potatoes of her neighbour. Lily was surprised, it wasn't at all the time for mail, nor was she expecting a letter from any of her (woefully few) correspondents. The group turned at her in confusion. She shrugged at them, not knowing any more than they did. She took the letter from the bird and it flew away as she opened it. The message usual enough, but it wasn't Potter's writing. She didn't recognize the script and didn't know who sent it until she reached the end of the incredibly short note.
Come to my office directly after this evening's feeding
Albus Dumbledore
She looked toward the head table, but Dumbledore wasn't there. Lily folded the note away into her pocket. They looked at her questioningly, waiting for an explanation.
"Dumbledore. Head Girl stuff no doubt."
They all nodded in comprehension. She looked to the ceiling. Hagrid would be at the front doors any moment now.
He was already there waiting for her, looking more anxious than usual.
"Alright there, Hagrid?"
"Fine, fine." He replied. She noted that it didn't seem to be a worried or apprehensive sort of anxiousness, but perhaps more expectant. She greeted Mercury, who seemed pleased as usual to see her. Hagrid seemed twitchy the entire time she fed him, and the moment he finished Hagrid rose off his stool.
"Right then, let's go."
Lily, who knew she couldn't linger that evening, was surprised to see him so eager to leave. Perhaps Dumbledore had told him she was expected as soon as possible. She said nothing in response, simply rose, waved to Mercury and left again.
Hagrid did not leave her at the front doors as usual, but continued on into the castle towards Dumbledore's office.
"Sugar Quill" He said gruffly. And the staircase started moving, like a lift, elevating them to Dumbledore's office. Lily was surprised to see quite a few people gathered there, about 12 she estimated in a glance. They had been waiting for them apparently, for when they entered they all grew quiet and serious. She didn't pay attention to their faces, she was looking for Dumbledore.
He appeared at that very moment and walked over to her.
"I wonder if I might have a private word with you before we begin?" He asked.
She forbore to say "begin what?" and simply replied, "Certainly, Professor."
He took her aside, apart from the others into a corner of the room. It grew hushed, and Lily suspected it was more of an enchanted silence rather than the other occupants of the room going quiet.
Lily listened attentively for a time as Dumbledore explained the existence of the group called the Order of the Phoenix.
"Yes." She said immediately after he finished the long and careful explanation.
"Consider carefully, Miss Evans, before answering. The tasks we ask of you may not be pleasant or safe. But you will have the chance to do some real good."
"Professor Dumbledore, I made up my mind long before I even knew about the order that this is what I want. Whether by myself, with the ministry or with you, I will do whatever I can to see that the Dark Lord falls." She said with conviction. Dumbledore smiled.
"That is exactly what I supposed of you, and precicely why I invited you here. Now that we have that settled we may begin the meeting." He said with a slight smile.
The meeting began with Dumbledore introducing her to the rest of the group.
"...Fenwick, and Alastor Moody." He said introducing the few remaining members. "We have several others who aren't with us tonight, you will meet them later, and finally of course you know Professors McGonagall and Potter."
She nodded said in acknowledgment, "Professors."
McGonagall smiled at her proudly. No doubt proud of her house, the only student in the Order being a Gryffindor. She smiled back at McGonagall, but avoided Potter's eyes. It wouldn't be correct to say she was surprised to see him... because the entire thing had come as a surprise. But the thought of him being a part of a society whose goals he knew were so close to her own heart was slightly... irritating. He had told her about being an auror yet he kept this a secret...
She shook off that thought. With a society like this there was bound to be a secret keeper. He probably wouldn't be allowed to tell. Still, the thought of him keeping something like that to himself felt somehow felt like deception to her. She knew if she were to look at him now her face would give her away. Everyone would be able to see the silent "Why didn't you tell me." McGonagall stepped away after giving her shoulder a congratulatory squeeze to transfigure a few more chairs; one was enormous, obviously created to support Hagrid's impressive weight.
She didn't mean to... She hadn't even been aware that she had been looking up at him when he took two steps closer to her, dark eyes bright, intent on hers.
"I only joined tonight as well." Potter said, no, whispered; covertly answering a question she hadn't even intended to ask. He opened his mouth to say more, but shut it again as they were called to their seats.
They got right down to business, explaining the situation and giving out assignments. They were took take turns doing surveillance. In twos and threes they would watch a residence, they had learned, through a source they didn't explain, that the dark lord planned to attack sometime during the week. They were a family of pureblood wizards denouncing the Dark Lord. The filthiest of blood traitors to their mind... It wasn't something Voldemort would bother himself with, just send a few death eaters in to kill them and leave. That, Dumbledore said, was what they were going to try to prevent. They spent the next hour working on scheduling the shifts. Once that was settled they moved onto the next thing.
"Getting the word out to the non human magical community..." He said. Going on about the different species in various locations they hoped to reach. "And of course at Hogwarts we have the official resident clan of centaurs, the only organized magical group in the forest. Other non human magicals will have to be approached individually. Hagrid, have you spoken to them?"
"Yes, but it wasn't 'xactly,... that is to say there weren't very..."
"So we need to try again?" He said, which was more of a command than a question. A gentle command, but a command nonetheless.
"Yes, Professor Dumbledore." Hagrid said shamefacedly, then looked to Lily for help, who then turned to Potter. What should she say?
"Actually..." She began. Both Hagrid and Dumbledore, along with a few other members turned to listen to her. Bur she lost her voice somehow. She shot Potter an imploring look and he nodded.
"Professor? Can I speak with you alone for a minute?" He asked. Dumbledore looked surprised, but of course obliged. They retreated to the silent corner of the room where their conversation could not be heard. A few brief minutes later they returned. Dumbledore looked at Lily appraisingly, and then smiled, as if content with his assessment.
"It appears..." Dumbledore said to the group, "that Lily has already settled the matter of the centaurs." Some people nodded in acknowledgement, but Hagrid looked confused. Lily made a mental note to tell Hagrid everything that happened the first opportunity she had. She felt guilty for not having told him sooner.
"The next matter on the agenda: gaining an asset. This man isn't a death eater but he has connections with them. Some members think it would be worthwhile to gain this mans trust, and more importantly, his information. 28 year old wizard, either Belgian or French, deals in dark and stolen goods on the dark market." Dumbledore held up a photograph for the group to see. A handsome man with a distinctive nose smiled and waved at the all. "Surname: Chevalier. First name..."
"Sylvain?!" Lily said in surprise at the familiar face. The entire group turned to look at her curiously. Potter's gaze being the most intense.
"You know the man?" One of them asked.
"Kind of, Mr. Fenwick." She replied awkwardly.
"Please Lily, in this group you are not considered a student, you are an equal. Feel free to use first names." Dumbledore said. Lily nodded but couldn't bring herself to say 'alright Albus'. Nor could she ever imagine herself calling Professor McGonagall, Minerva. Instead of worrying about names she returned to her explanation.
"He's French. I work at the Leaky Cauldron over holidays, and Sylvain is a frequent guest. And even if he wasn't staying in one of the rooms, he was always meeting people in the bar. He was in at least once a week..." Then she added on a slightly embarrassed note. "He always tipped me. Called me his little fleur de lis."
"What else do you know about him?" Dumbledore asked.
"Um... single businessman, originally from Bretagne, lives in Paris, hates apparating, loves German beer and English women. I saw him bring several women back to his room with him... not all at once mind, separately, over the weeks..." She said correcting herself. A few of them laughed. She continued. "When he gets drunk he starts talking about astronomy. He isn't very talented magically, but he fancies most of the divinitive arts, puts a lot of stock in them... and I think..." She said, unsure she should continue or not, then decided that truth was the best policy here, "I have his business card somewhere in my room. He said to contact him if ever I needed anything at all. I thought he was just flirting with me, you get a lot of characters in the Leaky Cauldron..."
"Anything else?" McGonagall asked, slightly astonished.
Lily thought hard, she had just given them a whole bunch of useless information. She scoured her brain for something that might actually be helpful. "He has a... business partner, I think."
"Who?" Asked a red haired man whose name escaped her.
"I don't remember his name, I only met him once. But I think..." She looked at Potter for some reason, as if he could somehow make this easier... He nodded at her encouragingly. She swallowed and continued. "I think that his partner deals with the more..." She stopped short. She wanted to say 'darker' but she wasn't sure if that were true and she didn't want to get the order's hopes up. She settled for the more vague "secretive clients."
She looked around the room. Nobody said anything; they just continued looking at her, expecting more.
"I'm not sure if he's a business partner or not, but I know he is 'very important to the business'. At least that's what Sylvain said. I can't say for certain what he does, but I would say he is a person of interest..." Another pregnant pause followed and then she added, "That's all... I think."
Lily felt her face flush with embarrassment. It was her first order meeting and she was getting so much attention. It would be easier if she just sat down with Potter and Dumbledore.
"I think we know who he can put on Chevalier." Mad Eye said amusedly. His laughter sounded more like a growl, in Lily's opinion, but it wasn't unpleasant. Dumbledore looked at Lily.
"Would you be interested in doing that for us?"
"Certainly, but what exactly do I do?"
"We will discuss that another time. Does everyone have a copy of the schedule for Uppingham house?"
There came various sounds and gestures of affirmation at this.
"Then I will thank you all for coming, and good luck with all your endeavours." He said. The group started chatting as they left Dumbledore's office in groups of twos and threes.
Lily turned to leave as well, but she felt a hand on her shoulder. "Wait. Dumbledore wants to talk to us." Potter said.
She nodded and stepped off to the side with him, out of the way of the order members who were leaving. McGonagall and Hagrid were the only others to remain in the office with them.
Once the staircase and taken the last of them down, Dumbledore turned to them.
"Now..." He began easily, "there is the matter of Lily..."
"What's the matter with me?" She asked, immediately feeling stupid for having worded her question that way. Potter laughed and was about to make some kind of smart remark, but both Lily and McGonagall gave him frighteningly similar stern looks and he swallowed the comment.
"Firstly, as a new member, to educate you about the methods the Order uses for tasks like Uppingham house. I trust, James, that you are already aware of the standard surveillance procedure for these kinds of undertakings?" He asked with a twinkle in his eye. James smiled back at him.
"I think I will be able to figure it out, Professor." Why they were bothering to make subtle allusions to James being an auror, Lily didn't know. They all knew he was an auror...
'But they don't all know that I know.' She remembered.
Dumbledore explained, as they had decided earlier, that Lily's first shift was Saturday afternoon with Alastor Moody.
"Alastor will be able to guide you as you go, but it is imperative that you learn how to conjure a patronus before Saturday." Dumbledore nodded to James, as if assigning the task to him.' "Because that was how the order communicates with each other."
"Yes, sir."
They spoke for another half hour about Lily asking the Leaky Cauldron if she could work part time on weekends, and over the Christmas holidays, to insinuate herself again into the scene, so she would come into contact with Chevalier and others in a natural setting.
"Being as subtle as possible, try to pick up on any details, and information that might be useful to the order."
"Make him trust you," Potter added, "so he will feel easy around you and let down his guard. Note anything he says in relation to work or business."
"I understand."
"Very well. Well then, James if you could kindly teach Lily to conjure a patronus..."
"Of course, sir."
"Then I believe we are done here for this evening."
Lily and James returned to the Defence Against the Dark Arts Classroom together to practice. Lily had read about the conjuring of a patronus. So his description didn't require any further explanation, only practice.
"Think of a happy memory..." He told her. He forcibly reminded her of Peter Pan, and she felt like Wendy, trying to think of a wonderful thought so she could fly...
Somehow, recalling 'happy' memories only made her sad.
"Not good enough Evans, what memory are you using?" He said after another failed attempt.
"I... I'm sitting with my family next to the Christmas tree, we are drinking hot apple cider and laughing as we open up our presents to each other." She said despondently.
He looked at her, brows furrowed and lips pressed together firmly, as if he was struggling not to say something, or at least trying to find the right words to say whatever it was he couldn't.
"Try something... more recent." He said delicately, but the meaning was clear. 'Try something after your parents death, a happy memory that doesn't invoke pain and sorrow in the remembering the loss of it.'
She tried to think of something that had made her happy since her parents died. Her mind went over things in long and recent past. She thought of clinging tightly to him as they plunged down towards the lake on the broom. It wasn't exactly a happy memory, but her heart had been pounding and she had been laughing madly the whole time. It made her smile even now just thinking about it.
"Ah ha!" He said, pointing to her lips. "Use that one!"
"What?" She said, startled out of her reverie.
"Try whatever made you smile just then."
"I don't know if it will work.." She said, looking, cursing herself for blushing so easily.
"Indulge me and try anyway..." He said, sounding not encouraging, but sarcastic, his voice deep and dripping with amusement. She had a sneaking suspicion he liked making her feel uncomfortable.
Lily heaved a sigh, and hoped for the best. Her mouth curved up into an irrepressible smile again as she recalled their ride that morning. "Expecto Patronum!"
Silver light burst from her wand, but not in any discernable shape. It hung like a hoary mist, before fading away.
"Well, that was an improvement." He said encouragingly, still obviously just as disappointed as she was. "Try again. Can you think of anything better?"
"Better..." She searched her mind again. The image of being pressed into his chest, as she was crying and bleeding, he was stroking her hair and murmuring comforting things. 'That certainly isn't a happy memory, I had been weeping and miserable...'
Yet when she tried it, a fully fledged corporeal patronus shot out of her wand.
For one wild, thrilled instant, James thought her patronus took the shape of a stag, his very own animagus form, but when he looked closer he realised that it wasn't a male deer, but a female one, very much like, if not exactly like herself. He had, in his 7th year, researched the relationship between the patronus and conjurer. A patronus almost always takes the form of an animal, and whether the conjurer realises it or not, it is an animal they associate with safety, guardianship, peace, and comfort. For most people it's their favourite animal, or, if they are a child, an animal they associate with their parents or household. James's own patronus was a lion, which James didn't wonder at. He knew it was the true Gryffindor in him, it had always been a lion. But it can change. He had read about a woman whose patronus had always been an eagle, until she fell in love with a vampire and it suddenly changed into a bat. It happened all the time.
Lily Evan's patronus, he considered, was depressing, because it represented herself. The implications of that were obvious. He wondered if her patronus would be different if she weren't so alone.
There was a strong connection in regards to the magic that chooses the forms of both patronuses and animagi, but it was too complex and abstract for James to think about now, he would later, certainly. Not now...
Deciding to ignore the significance of her patronus he clapped her on the back saying, "Well done, Evans!" Giving her the brightest cheeriest smile he could muster.
She didn't look happy, however. She stared at her patronus in disgusted fascination, as if she resented it. Perhaps she had picked up on it too. She had mentioned that she had read about Patronuses, and seeing her solitariness solidify in front of her into one shimmering truth probably only depressed her. An ironic paradox, that, seeing as a patronus was the embodiment of positive feelings.
"I've done it, can I go now?" She asked, her voice a steady monotone.
"We have to go to Hagrid's in..."
"Can I go now?" She repeated.
"Yes." He said solemnly. She didn't reply, didn't wait, didn't do anything but put her wand in her robes and walk away. The door opened for her as she approached, and shut itself again after she left. Even in her bad mood she was practicing wandless magic...
Lily shut herself in her bedroom, locking the door. A strange idea, locking your own bedroom door in your own quarters but at the time it seemed necessary. Potter knew her password and could come in anytime he wanted. She sat by the cold window, thinking up new passwords she knew she wouldn't use. Despite herself and her sense of propriety she liked the idea of him coming in whenever he wanted.
But not now. She didn't want him now. She needed to practice conjuring a patronus again. She needed to find a better memory. One that didn't contain him. She had been horrified at herself that the memory had actually worked. What did that say about her? That she was a sicko who enjoyed being depressed and crying? Or worse, that she had enjoyed Potter's embrace. Either way it was unacceptable. She looked at her watch. 34 minutes. She had about 34 minutes to find an appropriate memory that would produce a corporeal patronus.
She tried everything, every happy childhood memory. Playing with Petunia, reading with her father, their vacation to Portugal when she was 10, but none of them worked. Those sorrows were still too sharp. She sighed and flopped down on her bed. What made her feel really good, hopeful, happy? She closed her eyes, an a grin spread across her face as she remembered a dream she had had the other night.
She had been lying on a garden swing, looking out. A doghouse was situated on the grass nearest the door to the house. Mercury was asleep inside it, and she was rocking her own child to sleep in her arms. A baby girl, red hair just like hers and her mother's. A man sat down next to her, puts his arms around her shoulders, kisses the infant. No words are spoken. This is a place where Lord Voldemort doesn't exist...
But it was a dream, not a memory. It wasn't real... Still, Lily thought she'd try it. She had remembered the dream, so it made it a memory of sorts, did it not? It was something that gave her hope, made her happy, was it not?
She pulled out her wand again. Taking a deep breath in and focussing she said, "Expecto Patronum."
The doe sprang from her wand, cantering out the open window into the night, a strange silvery sort of moonlight shining from it until it faded away. She heaved a sigh of relief and collapsed onto her bed. She thanked the stars again and again. Glad to know that her happiness didn't rely on James Potter.
Had she really stopped to think about it she wouldn't have been pleased that the happiness she had used to conjure her patronus the second time had been imaginary, but she didn't think it through that far. More the better for her.
For once James didn't start pacing. Once Evans left he quietly sat down in his chair, propping elbows up on the desk, resting his chin on his hands pensively. She had wanted to leave rather than stay and discuss what had made her upset. They had discussed things like that before, why was she so unwilling now? Was it because Hagrid wasn't there? It was true that he had only intruded on the conversation she and Hagrid had been having. Was she not comfortable enough to confide in him when it was just the two of them? He rumpled his hair and fumbled in his robes pocket.
"Sirius..." He said tiredly to the mirror. A moment's pause and his friend's face appeared, smiling oddly.
"So how's Lily Evans?"
"I didn't mirror you to talk about her!" He snapped, embarrassedly. He disliked how his friend assumed (correctly, which made it that much more infuriating) that he wanted to talk about Evans.
Sirius's face softened. "Sorry, mate. If you don't want to talk about her that's fine, but if you do, you know I'll listen."
He heaved a sigh, knowing that as far as friends go, you just didn't get any better than Sirius... "I just don't know what to do with her..."
"Start from the beginning." He said patiently.
"You know how on Friday we had that long talk?"
"The one on the pitch?"
"Yeah. I mean, we talked about her being alone since her parents' death, and how difficult it is to be muggleborn nowadays..."
"Mmhmm..."
"Well, you would think that after she opened up that much, it would mean that she trusts me, yes?"
"Not necessarily, but go on..."
"What? Oh never mind. Today I taught her how to conjure a patronus..."
"Did she manage?"
"Eventually. She couldn't seem to find a memory happy enough to make it work for a while. All memories of her past seem only to hurt her. I overheard her say that to Hagrid on Friday... and I don't think she has many other happy memories to draw from since then, it's been kind of rough for her."
"Unquestionably... But you said she did manage..."
"Yes, but when she finally conjured a corporeal one she bolted."
"Using what memory?" Sirius asked shrewdly. James waved a hand in the air, casting off the issue as unimportant.
"I didn't ask. But the thing is her Patronus was a doe..." There was a pause.
"So?" Sirius asked, failing to see the significance. James slapped his forehead, he had completely forgotten to inform his friend of the details of Saturday night.
"That's Lily's animagus form..." He said, sure that his friend would understand the implications now... He was sure Sirius would remember seeing the doe on Saturday night.
"She is an animagus?" Sirius asked, incredulous. His face sombre, deathly serious.
"Yeah!"
"And you didn't tell me!" Sirius belowed furiously.
"Merlin, calm down, what's the big deal?"
"The big deal? Fuck's sake James! You might have told me sooner so I wouldn't have spent these past 4 days worried sick for her and for Moony and YOU! Here I was, not mentioning it because I thought it would be too painful for you, but I don't know why I was bothered! I thought Moony turned her into a werewolf! Did it ever occur to you to tell me that she was ok? That I didn't have to worry? Fuck me James, what the bloody hell were you thinking? You don't think I haven't been feeling guilty? That keeping it from Moony hasn't been killing me? Thinking that our stupidity ruined the girl you..." Sirius let out an angry growl... unable to continue his tirade "FUCK!" He roared at last, and threw the mirror into the couch. James saw his friend's enraged face disappear and the fast approach of pillow cushions before the mirror faded away, so that he only saw his own shocked stupid face.
He stared at it for a while, disbelieving. How could he have been so stupid? So careless? Thoughtless? Why hadn't he just told Sirius in the Shrieking Shack that Evans was going to be fine?
He banged his head on his desk. Stupid, stupid, stupid!
"Now now now... no use banging the wits out of you... you don't have so much to spare." Came Sirius's voice, calmer, with the usual hints of amusement. James looked up into the mirror he was still holding.
"I'm sorry." He sputtered out immediately. "I... didn't do it on purpose, I just forgot... there was so much going on I forgot that hadn't told you..."
"I know you didn't do it on purpose, I called you stupid, not malicious." He smiled, displaying his shining white teeth. "So Evans's patronus was a doe, you said?" He continued pleasantly, as if nothing had happened.
James smiled at his friend. They never stayed mad at each other for long.
"Yes."
"Bit sad, isn't it..."
"That's what I thought. The moment she saw it she just left."
"You think seeing the patronus upset her?" He asked, not entirely convinced.
"It obviously did. Her voice got all emotionless and she looked like she was going to be sick. She asked if she could leave, and barely waited for me to say yes before she was out the door..."
"Maybe she actually felt sick..."
"Maybe... I mean, she does have some kind of illness that makes her sick sometimes, but I don't know. She won't tell me much about it. Still I don't think that was it."
"Neither do I, to be honest."
"But you'd think after having opened up to me already she would be able to at least tell me what was wrong, right?"
"Doesn't work that way, Prongs. Just because she opened up to you once doesn't make you her confidant. Some people just keep their feelings to themselves."
"She has far too many secrets for someone her age. She needs to share or she will be eventually dragged down by the weight of everything."
"She has friends she can talk to, surely."
"Not really. Well, she's a popular girl, but I think her only real friend here is Hagrid. In fact, she was talking to him when I intruded on their conversation on Friday..."
"So she was opening up to Hagrid and you just kind of intercepted her?"
"Well, when you put it like that..." He said, trailing off. Sirius had a knack for finding painful weaknesses and exploiting them. Going back, Lily never really told him anything about herself outside of that night, unless she could help it. Why was she so closed? "So I guess I shouldn't ask her about it?"
"If she wants to talk about it she will... women always do..." He said sardonically.
"But what if something really is wrong with her and she doesn't do anything about it? Isn't it the duty of her teacher to step in?"
"As her teacher, yes. If you think there is something wrong with one of your pupils then you can ask them if they are ok. And they can tell you what they want to tell you... But if it's not teacherly concern..."
"Sirius..." James said warningly.
"Quit interrupting Prongs, it's rude. As I was saying, if you are being a good teacher to a good student, then fine, that's your affair. But I wouldn't push too far with it. You can't use teacherly concern as an excuse to ask unteacherly questions, and expect an honest response. If you were having trouble in school and a teacher asked you what the matter was, would you tell him?"
"No."
"Then either be a friend to her, or be a teacher to her. Being both would only confuse her and keep her guarded."
"So, if I were to be a friend to her what would I say?"
"How close would you say you are? How far could you go without overstepping your boundaries?"
"I... have no idea. Especially not after that whole... interception... realization."
"Well, if she considers you a friend, then she will tell you... Unless of course it's just one of those things..."
"One of what things?"
"Honestly, Prongs. You know what I mean..."
"Erm..."
"Look here, Prongs. No matter how close you are, there will be things that she won't tell you."
"Wha?" James asked stupidly. Sirius sighed at his friend's apparent density.
"Would you tell her about your sex life?"
"No!"
"And why not?"
"Ok ok I get your point... Stop being such a know it all."
"I can't help it... it comes with the hair." He said, combing it back with his fingers.
"In that case I'll cut it off in your sleep."
"Woah there, Delila."
"Delila?"
"Honestly, is Shakespeare the only muggle reading you do?"
"That's beside the point. I have to go get her now anyway..."
"Good luck."
"So what am I doing again?"
"You are doing nothing you great prat, now go away you bother me."
"I thought you loved me."
"Like I love my own mother." Sirius said with a false cheery smile.
"Ouch, Padfoot. Words hurt, you know."
"Not as much as a swift kick up the arse, now go! Your lady awaits..."
"She's not my...argh, Damn it Sirius..." he said putting the mirror in his pocket, muffling the chuckles coming from it.