Chapter 11: On Journey
Eridor and Jiarha flew towards the southeast, speeding past small villages, towns and cities. Down below, people would look up in awe of the magnificent beings, but return to their work after the dragons had passed.
Ephian was sitting on Jiarha's back, watching the sky. It was noon, and nearly lunch time, and they were dozen of leagues south of Dras-leona. The next city that they would have to reach was Furnost, on the shores of Tüdosten Lake. But it was still several hours of flying ahead, though Jiarha was certain that they would reach the city by nightfall.
Now they flew on, and Ephian was discussing his feelings for Elva with Jiarha.
I don't know . . . I just feel close to her. More than friendship. Ephian told her, as Jiarha finished shifting through his memories, feeling what he had felt at that time.
Ephian, I think you are attracted to her in more than just closeness. There are other women in this world as well, but only Elva caught your eye . . . I think that you love her. Jiarha said, and Ephian jumped.
Don't be so hasty, Jiarha, think . . . I mean, look at in this way: I may love her, but does she love me? Maybe she does, you haven't noticed her reactions to you, nor has she noticed your reactions to her. It is possible that you both love each other.
Even if you are right, I am not going to try and confess anything to her. I don't even know if I love her in the first place. Ephian said, but his heart leapt at the fact that he would confess his feelings to Elva.
Why are you scared of her? Jiarha asked, laughing.
Because… Well, I am scared of the response she will give to my feelings for her. What if she replies in the negative? Ephian, you should stop being a pessimist. What if she does respond as you wish for her to?
Both outcomes are possible, and I'd rather not say anything at the moment. I'll try to get closer to her first, get to know her better. Ephian said.
Not a bad idea, you can even understand her feelings that way. And she can understand yours. But what if she doesn't feel anything for me? . . . She is so fair, so beautiful, and me? I am not that handsome or- Stop thinking so less of yourself, for one, my Rider is very handsome, and he is smart, talented and determined. Are you my Rider?
I am your Rider, no doubt about that!
Elva scratched her chin thoughtfully as she saw Ephian hugging Jiarha for some reason. She had been spying on him for quite a while now, and he didn't seem that serious to her. He seemed to be enjoying himself with Jiarha.
He enjoys when he is with his loved ones . . . Eridor thought, and she nodded.
He does, and I wish that were his case with me as well. Elva told her dragon, and sighed.
It will be, give him time. How much time?
As much as he needs, and you can get rid of your own confusion in that time. Confusion . . . I don't know, Eridor, I want to be with him, but I am afraid that he doesn't want to be with me. So, well . . .
Eridor hissed. Look, you must not doubt yourself so much. He might like you as well. The only way to find out is to ask him!
Elva looked around in horror as if Ephian could hear what they were discussing.
No way! I can't do that… Stop being so childish, you are more than a hundred years old Elva!
I am . . . but I have never been in this type of situations before. I have never exactly liked anyone the way I like Ephian. Hmm . . . What about me?
Eridor, you are my dragon, I don't just like you, I love you. You are my family... Elva said, scratching her dragon on his neck. He hummed lightly at her words.
That is a good thing for me. Eridor said thoughtfully.
They landed for lunch, on a hill taller than most of the surrounding ones. It had a few apple trees on it, thought the trees did not have fruits at this time of the year. Winter was nigh.
Elva was sitting, leaning against the tree, and was cross legged, while Ephian tended to the fire. The dragons growled at each other and took off, flying east to catch prey for them to eat.
I will be back in a couple of hours. Jiarha told Ephian as he arranged the wood for the fire, and she flew with Eridor.
Have fun! Ephian told her calmly, and sighed to himself. He smiled at Elva as he stood up, and she smiled back, watching him.
"Istlari." Ephian muttered softly, and the wood caught fire, black in color. The fire was small, only to keep him and Elva warm in the cool weather, and to keep the wild animals away.
"Ephian, why are you so distracted?" Elva asked him as he settled down a little away from her, leaning against the same tree.
"I am not, do I seem to be?" Ephian asked her, and she nodded.
"You do, come now, you can tell me. I am your companion." Elva said, and Ephian turned to look at her more properly.
"Sure then . . . I am worried." Ephian told her, and she seemed to be confused at his words.
"Of what?"
"Of this mission of ours, I have a feeling that it has more to it than it seems . . . Elva, I want to tell you something, about Shades." Ephian said suddenly, and Elva raised an eyebrow.
"What's there to tell me? I know they are evil, I know that they must be killed on sight. What else do I need to know?" Elva asked him, and Ephian smiled gently. On the inside, he was getting mesmerized by her blue eyes, which seemed like the portals to a shallow ocean, illuminated by the morning sunlight.
"I-I . . . . It's like this: Shades know more about dark magic than any other beings. So, they know how to manipulate wild magic in evil ways. One of those ways is connecting two places which have wild magic permeating near them . . . I leant this from a book, I forgot the name, but it was pretty interesting. It was written by a human called Jeod Longshanks, one of the brightest humans in our history, other than General Orrin, who was brilliant in his own way." Ephian told her.
"But what has that got to do with our mission? You did hint that there would be Shade there, but . . ." Elva trailed off as she understood with a flash of recognition.
"See? If that Shade does exist a-and he can manipulate energy, then he can use his powers to join that 'well' with any other place . . . it can be anywhere in Alagaesia . . . or even outside." Ephian said, and Elva was dumbstruck. She sat and just watched him for a while, and Ephian stared back for a long time, until she broke the silence.
"Enough heavy talks about this mission of ours, we have both faced danger in our childhood, we can do so again . . . Tell me something about yourself, your habits, likes, dislikes, you know." Elva said, and Ephian stared at her for a while more, then crept close to her.
"What do you want to know?" Ephian asked and Elva blushed slightly.
Is it normal for women to blush if we ask them such things? Ephian thought to himself.
"If you want to tell me then . . . why are you always so serious, so secluded? There are many things that I have heard about you, from others . . . you never enjoy yourself with others; you keep yourself to yourself, why?" Elva asked him, and he could hear the eagerness in her melodic voice, because he always savored the time when he heard it.
Ephian was silent, staring at her impassively until she began to fidget.
It can't hurt if I tell her, I always wished I could confide in someone other than Jiarha… And Elva is going to be with me for quite some time… I'll just tell her why I am like this. Ephian decided.
He stood and walked away from the shade of the tree, the sunlight illuminating his face; he heaved a sigh before beginning to speak solemnly.
"Elva . . . I don't tell you this lightly, its because I trust you. There is a reason for me behaving this way . . . I am not the type of person who takes things lightly, I take it seriously. Maybe too seriously at times, that's what Jiarha told me. Why do I do this? Sometimes even I don't understand . . . I think its because I have had to kill men ever since I was young, and it changed me then . . . I felt guilty, because I knew those men had their own families, their own children. Some of those children could have been like me. But my father helped me work around it."
He turned to Elva, who stood up as well and walked up to him, empathy and understanding in her eyes.
"But then . . . my father was killed, I learnt of this from Eragon when he came to Dauth to save all its citizens . . . I had killed that day as well, to protect two little girls. They were like my own sisters, they never left my side and always managed to bring a smile to my face . . . I was fourteen then. I realized that day that logic was not at all applicable to murder, no matter the reason you put behind it. I knew then what it must have felt like for the children to lose their parents when I killed them . . . And it broke me. I was maimed, and my soul was tainted with blood of many." Ephian continued, and tears began to come to his eyes.
"Oh the suffering, it was worse than anything I have ever known . . . I felt like I didn't deserve to live after that. Just a couple of weeks after I learnt of my father's death, my mother also died, taken away by her disease and by her grief at my father's death. I was an orphan, at the age of fourteen, and it was a living death . . . But I remained, I wanted to know that Galbatorix had been punished for all of his crimes, and he was. I lived for about three years as a destroyed person, beyond hope of happiness." Ephian said sorrowfully, and tears did begin to roll down from his eyes. He settled on the ground, and wiped them.
A hand came to his shoulder, soft and delicate but hiding enormous power.
"I know what it felt like for you . . . I really do." Elva told him, and knelt beside him.
He turned around to see her, her eyes filled with compassion.
"H-How?" Ephian muttered, and Elva sighed.
"I have had my own fill of grief . . . When I was a baby, I was cursed by Eragon, unintentionally of course, he just trying to help me because that old hag who used to look after me asked him to bless me, and he didn't know the ancient language well enough then. He cursed me to be able to feel other's pain as my own, of everyone around me, and the curse also forced me to try and help them. When I became just a year old, I seemed to be about four times the age . . . the curse made me grow many times faster than normal so that I could help others. And if I didn't, I would suffer . . . Eragon tried to correct his mistake after most of his training was done, but even he couldn't undo the spell completely, and it always made me weaker than other children of my age. The pain that I endured at that tender age, it was unbelievable, I find it difficult to imagine it even now." Elva told him, rather somber. She settled down next to him, their shoulders brushed, but both of them didn't mind it that much.
"Then what happened?" Ephian asked her eagerly, and she smiled slightly.
"It was Eridor who cured me of it. When he hatched, Eragon was very happy. I was taught by Nasuada . . . Your mentor's wife. When we were learning, I was always downtrodden, sad and weak even though the spell had been partially reduced, and Eridor was very young. He was stubborn as well, and he didn't want to see me in pain of the others, because I didn't let the pain reach whenever I felt it. One night, I confessed each and every thing to him, and he was really troubled by it. It reached to such an extent that he used dragon magic on me, and I was healed of the curse, permanently I think." Elva said, her voice a little better. Ephian smiled at her, then his hand began to inch forward slowly, heading for her hand, which she had placed on the ground.
"Were you happy then?" Ephian asked, and Elva nodded.
"Happier than ever before . . ." Elva said, and Ephian grasped her hand in his own a little too quickly, gently squeezing her fingers. Elva seemed a little surprised at his approach, but then just gave him a quick smile.
"I just hope I can make myself as joyful as you . . . but after all that you have been through, no one deserves it more than you." Ephian told her, and she patted him on the cheek suddenly.
"You want to become joyful? First, drop your gloomy face and try to replace it with a smile." Elva instructed.
Ephian gaped at her, then gave her such a ridiculous smile that she began laughing. Her laughter washed over him, and he lost himself in its music. But then he gently let go of her hand and began fiddling with a stone, he didn't want to do something to endanger their friendship. He didn't want to give himself away and let Elva find out about his feelings for her.
I shouldn't have grasped her hand in the first place!